Body language signals associated with the thumbs. Allan Pease - Body Language. How to read the thoughts of others by their gestures. Sign language for babies

Body language is an unconscious communication technique consisting of a collection of gestures, signs and postures. With their help, a person’s true feelings, emotions, thoughts and ideas are encoded. Our subconscious reads the body language and gestures of any person. We recognize lies on an intuitive level. But we suppress intuition based on rational reasoning.

If you want to understand the people around you and learn how to recognize lies, hypocrisy or reticence, study body language - it will help you. This science is useful not only for businessmen; even an ordinary person is interested in watching politicians, stars, friends and recognizing lies in their speech. Or watch an action movie and understand the special sign language of special forces. Knowledge of body language and gestures is included in the list of required skills for all people, especially for those who have to communicate a lot, perform, and manage people at work.

You can recognize a lie by facial expressions and gestures. The main facial signs of lying:

• If the sides of the face are asymmetrical, this is a sign of lying or reticence. The face works synchronously if the person is telling the truth, and asymmetry is a sign of hidden feelings.
• Sincere feelings are replaced quickly. Therefore, emotions frozen on the face for 5 or more seconds are insincere.
• Real feelings appear simultaneously with words. If they are even a fraction of a second late, you are most likely talking to a liar.

It is not difficult to recognize a liar by gestures if you carefully observe him. Lying gestures include:

• the interlocutor often touches his face with his hands;
• the interlocutor covers his mouth with his hand;
• rubs his eyes with his palms;
• constantly touches the collar.

Remember that you cannot say that your interlocutor is lying just by one gesture or facial sign. A set of indicators needs to be assessed.

To learn to recognize lies, communicate more often and pay attention to the facial expressions and gestures of your interlocutor. People who are interested in how to recognize a lie by their eyes are sure that looking away means they are not telling the truth. Don’t rush to conclusions; looking away means that during communication the interlocutor is remembering something.

Practice often. Communicate with people, watch photos and videos of politicians’ speeches to automatically respond to lies.

Gesture illustrators

Illustrators are a type of gesture that is used to complement the information being expressed. These are not necessarily hand gestures. Illustrators include facial expressions, or slight turns of the body. A person subconsciously uses illustrators when he cannot express his thoughts in words.

Remember, the use of illustrators in speech is a sign of a person’s sincerity. When gestures are present in a conversation, the interlocutor feels relaxed, he experiences truthful emotions.

Illustrators include:

• gestures that repeat information;
• gestures that complement information;
• gestures that replace words.

A classic example of illustrators is indicating the direction of movement. When you explain directions, you use your hands to point in the direction to the left while saying it in words.

In educational institutions, professors constantly use illustrators during lectures. Scientists have proven that we perceive only 5% of speech if it is not supported by illustrators. The teacher uses gestures to emphasize important points.

Gesture controls

Regulators are gestures that regulate conversation. They are especially important at the beginning and end of the conversation. A classic example of regulators is a handshake. It says a lot. A handshake that is too short and weak indicates indifference or contempt. A moderately long handshake combined with a friendly smile will put your interlocutor in good stead. But a handshake that is too long indicates the other person’s desire to control you.

But this is not the only regulator. These also include:

• nodding the head means the interlocutor’s desire to speed up the conversation;
• slow nods of the head - sincerity and interest in the conversation;
• hands in pockets - the interlocutor’s secrecy and reluctance to tell the whole truth;
• index finger raised up - a desire to briefly interrupt the dialogue.

Regulators are not a sign of lying, but they speak about the desires of the interlocutor during the dialogue and his attitude towards the conversation.

Sign language in different countries of the world

If you don't know a foreign language well, then with the help of gestures you will convey information or a question to people if you use them correctly. In different countries, one gesture means completely different information.

Some countries (Great Britain, Switzerland, North America) imply literal communication. A resident of the country will perceive everything you say in words. And the French, Japanese or Italians will pay attention to gestures and subtext of the conversation. Therefore, it is important to know the peculiarities of gestures in countries around the world. A translator is often useless in this case because he translates words but not gestures, which is important in most countries.

Gesture features that will surprise you:

• In most European countries, shaking the head in different directions means denial, refusal. In India, Bulgaria and Greece, the same gesture means agreement, and a nod means refusal.
• In countries with a Buddhist religion, stroking a child's head is perceived with aggression, as it is considered an invasion of personal space.
• Our usual gesture, when we twirl our finger at our temple, is interpreted by the French as stupidity, by the Dutch as intelligence. And in the UK this phrase is: “live by your wits.”
• Avoid touching your earlobe in the presence of Spaniards. This gesture implies that you want to talk about the presence of a homosexual in the company.
• Learn to use the "ok" gesture correctly when your thumb and index finger touch. In Russia it means approval, but in different countries it means different words. In France it means something that is not worth attention, in Turkey it indicates a homosexual, the Japanese show money this way, and the Syrians this way indicate a disdainful attitude.
• The thumb, which sticks out upward, serves to stop traffic. Europeans, by jerking their hand in this position towards the shoulder, indicate disdain. In Greece, this gesture indicates that the interlocutor should remain silent.
• Do not show the Greeks your palm with fingers spread, facing away from you. It insults them.
• The Japanese give gifts with both hands. Presenting with one hand is an insult.
• If you show an Italian your cupped hand, he will think that you are asking him for an explanation.
• In Pakistan, do not clap your hands if you are a man, as two claps indicate gayness.
• Spaniards and Italians, showing a gesture with protruding index finger and little finger, known to us as the rock gesture, means that the person is indicating to the interlocutor that his spouse is cheating.
• Don't cross your fingers at random in Vietnam - it's an indecent gesture.
• Don't look your African interlocutor in the eye. A long gaze is indecent.
• Winking at an Indian girl is an invitation to sexual activity.

A universal gesture that in every country will bring joy and goodwill to the interlocutor is a smile. Smile and you will be understood correctly.

Body language in sleep

During communication, we control gestures and facial expressions. But in a dream we relax and body language is interpreted correctly. Human psychology is designed in such a way that postures in a dream say a lot:

• Fetus - a person curls up in his sleep and bends his knees under him. Hands clasp legs. The pose signifies a person’s closedness and uncertainty. He needs care and protection. Human psychology is not able to withstand severe stress; he often worries.
• Prostrate position in a dream - a person lies on his stomach and straightens up as much as he can. Hands are spread out along the edges of the bed, above the head. The psychology of posture touches on the topic of control. A person wants to control all the events of his life by any means. But this answer is ambiguous. In fact, a person is vulnerable and vulnerable. He does not like surprises and lies, and therefore strives to keep everything under control.
• In a dream, a person lies on his back in a free position. He is relaxed and peaceful. In life, a person feels like a leader, and during communication, he feels like the main one. He achieves his goals and confidently walks through life.
• A person who lies on his side in a dream with his knees bent is rational and self-confident. He is able to plan his life and adequately assess the situation.

In a dream, a person does not control body language, so one can tell about his attitude to the world by seeing his posture.

James Borg "Body Language"

James Borg, who wrote the book Body Language, believes that more than half of the information we perceive is conveyed through gestures. The author has compiled seven lessons in his work, each of which will bring you closer to your goal - to learn to read the emotions and thoughts of people around you, recognize lies and truth, and apply the acquired knowledge to achieve practical tasks.

“Body Language” will teach you the main thing - to control your own gestures and facial expressions in order to convey the information you need to your interlocutors.

Reviews of the book are positive; readers note the practical, rather than theoretical, benefits of the manual. Therefore, we recommend reading “Body Language” to everyone who in everyday life is faced with the need to talk and negotiate.

Gorilla who understands sign language

In 1971, a gorilla named Coco was born in San Francisco. She is amazing in that she can not only understand, but also speak sign language. She communicates her desires, preferences, or poor condition to zookeepers using gestures.

Gorilla conveys emotions and feelings no worse than people. For example, she doesn't like to swim. When she was shown a photograph of a monkey being bathed, the gorilla showed that in the same situation she would cry.

The animal loves to joke. One day she called herself a bird and said that she could fly. The gorilla later admitted that she was joking.

Coco understands the concepts: present, past and future.

One day a gorilla asked to be allowed to have a pet. The keepers brought several kittens to Coco, she chose one and looked after it, played with it and rolled it on her back. Unfortunately, the kitten escaped from its cage and was hit by a car. After the situation, Koko gestured that the cat was sleeping. When she saw a photo of a similar kitten, she showed sadness and sadness with gestures.

Sign language (dactyl training)

If you want your child to learn sign language, then the “Sign Language (Dactyl Training)” app will help you. The application is designed for children and contains many pictures depicting gestures. The application's vocabulary is wide. There are theoretical and practical lessons, a dictionary of gestures.

According to numerous reviews, there is no better tool for learning body language for babies.

Masonic signs

Freemasons are a secret organization with ideas, customs and ideals. The organization's goal is to change the world for the better, but its members are labeled as evil and Satan worshipers. In fact, Freemasonry is a kind of religion. But members of the organization place themselves above religions, associations and parties.

Masonic gestures are often used among us, although we do not even notice it. Research scientists claim that every gesture can be called Masonic if it is carefully examined. With their help, members of the organization found each other back in the 18th century. This trend has continued to this day.

There is an opinion that a handshake in which the little finger is protruded and concave inward is considered a Masonic greeting.

Whether or not to believe secret signs, everyone decides for themselves. But don’t look for a Masonic sign in every gesture. The signs that people around the world use may have come from a secret organization, but today they serve a different purpose.

Sign language for babies

Scientists have found that teaching sign language to babies who cannot speak helps them quickly master spoken language in the future. With the help of sign language, the mother finds out what the child wants, what makes him sad or what hurts. Knowledge of sign language saves parents from crying and hysterics of a child who cannot convey to his parents the reasons for his concern. Recognize your child's condition by observing his gestures:

Body language is an assistant in any communication with people. Knowing the basic movements and gestures, you will be able to recognize a lie and feel the true attitude of the interlocutor towards you.

It is believed that words can convey any information. However, gestures say much more than simple ones. A person’s posture and his unconscious actions reveal emotions and attitude towards the interlocutor and what is happening. The problem of understanding gestures has always worried people. If you understand the meaning of non-verbal signs, you can easily distinguish truth from lies and understand what people are hiding. How to learn to “read” people in a few minutes? How ?

What is the psychology of body gestures?

The psychology of body language and gestures is related to the psychology of nonverbal communication, which studies human behavior and also interprets his facial expressions, gestures, and posture. There is also physiognomy, a pseudoscience that determines character traits and predicts a person’s future.

Human facial expressions are “universal” in all countries of the world, that is, you do not need to have special knowledge to understand a person’s emotions. Everyone equally shows joy, surprise, anger. A person understands these gestures from birth. But there are those signs that are very rarely paid attention to. This could be body position, gaze, specific movements. Especially if a person is nervous, he loses control of his body. It is important to interpret gestures correctly. For example: if a person is cold, he may cross his arms over his chest. This pose in this case does not indicate a person’s isolation or uncertainty.

Important: gestures are not always a set of instructions or patterns that can be used to tell exactly what a person is feeling or hiding.

Body language and gestures are difficult to fake. To learn it, you just need to be attentive. By remembering the basic meanings of body language, you can learn a lot about the interlocutor, even what he is trying to masterfully hide.

A lot of books have been written that talk about typical and atypical positions of the head, arms, legs, and facial expressions. Here are some examples.

The head and its position when speaking

A person who holds his head up is confident, communicative and open.

A theatrically raised head speaks of self-confidence, arrogance and narcissism.

If you throw your head back when talking, this indicates a readiness to act and make decisions.

The head lolls to the side. Such a person gives up, is ready to obey, refuses a leading role.

Bowing your head down means weakness, cowardice.

Facial expressions

An open look speaks of the sincerity of the interlocutor, of his lively character.

Closed eyes are a sign of indifference, passivity to what is happening. This look can also indicate that a person is very tired, so you should clarify this point so as not to accidentally accuse your interlocutor of indifference.

Squinted eyes are deceit, cunning, evil plans. You need to take a closer look at such a person; he may be planning something negative in relation to other participants in the conversation.

An eye-to-eye look shows that a person is committed to dialogue, interest and trust.

Distrust and skepticism are shown by the gaze when the pupils are directed towards the bridge of the nose.

Those who are aggressive and are trying to put their intentions into action look from under their brows.

If a person seems to bow and look down, this speaks of helpfulness and humility.

If the interlocutor does not look into the eyes of other participants in the conversation, it is obvious that he is hiding something and is not confident in himself. This sign may also indicate a feeling of guilt.

If a person smiles and the corners of his eyes are squinted, then this is real joy and happiness. You should not mistake such an emotion for a forced smile of politeness. When the corners of the lips turn down, it is sadness and pessimism.

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Hands

The position of your hands when speaking can tell a lot about a person. Usually a person gestures, trying to reinforce his words.

When persuading, does the interlocutor hold his hands with his palms up? This means that he is attuned to the other participants in the conversation, trying to explain something without any malicious intent.

If the arms are at the seams, that is, they are closely adjacent to the body, they express lack of will and passivity.

Are the person's hands behind his back? This speaks of doubt, mistrust, unwillingness to make decisions, or cunning intent, a desire to strike.

If your hands are in your pockets, this also indicates that the person is trying to hide something and is unsure of himself.

Hands folded in a “house” speak of self-confidence and in one’s actions, readiness to act.

The fist is a sign of self-affirmation and concentration. It may also indicate aggression.

Rubbing hands is a symbol of satisfaction and accomplishment.

Important: Teaching body language and gestures is nothing more than being mindful.

Open and closed human poses

An open posture indicates a person’s interest and desire to cooperate. In this position of the body, the hands are not near the neck or stomach, the gaze is directed at the interlocutor and the body is turned towards him. However, it is instinctively difficult for a person to always remain open. Since ancient times, he has been preparing for a possible attack, so he defends himself. A closed pose is one of the defense options. What body positions can be called closed?

1. Crossed legs.
2. Folded arms on the chest.

A closed posture does not encourage communication, so you need to pick up some object in order to open up to the world around you. This is especially true for people preparing to present a speech or monologue. You don't want to listen to uptight people.

How to recognize body language?

Body language can reveal a person's basic needs and emotions:

• . A few years ago, a series that taught people how to recognize lies using gestures was especially popular. A liar can be recognized by the following signs:
  • unconscious touching of lips, nose, chin when talking;
  • scratching the eyelids;
  • direct look. When a person remembers some actions that happened in the past, he looks away unconsciously. The deceiver has thought through his answers in advance, so he does not need to remember anything or come up with something chaotically.
• Flirting. Women are constantly trying to show their interest through gestures. This is why they say that you cannot hide your sympathy or love for a person of the opposite sex:
  • the girl shows her wrist - a sign of seduction;
  • straightening her hair, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, or effectively throwing her hair back - this is how a woman strives to impress the man she likes;
  • slightly open mouth or licking lips. One should not confuse overt lip licking for the purpose of flirting with the same gesture, which means nervousness and excitement;
  • the flirtatious “accidental” loss of a shoe and the swinging of a naked leg;
  • “shooting” with the eyes. The gaze moves away sharply from the adored object, and a romantic smile appears on the face;
  • stroking one's thighs.
    An aggressive masculine gesture that hints at intimacy is when the thumbs are in the pockets and the rest stick out. This pose is called cowboy. Shaking off specks of dust from oneself, a piercing wide gaze, and adjusting a tie and cuffs are also considered male sexual positions.
• Aggression. You can recognize a hostile attitude towards yourself not only by the look, but also by the position of the person’s body:
  • hands in fists is a dangerous gesture, it is better to stop the conversation, otherwise the conversation will go beyond ordinary words and move on to more active actions;
  • arms sideways is associated with an angry woman. It is difficult to call this ardent aggression; it is a readiness for action.
• Nervousness. When a person is nervous, he cannot sit still, children and teenagers begin to bite their nails, and adults begin to pick up pencils and pens rather than their nails. Excited people also breathe rapidly, they may lack air, and they lick their lips. A state of quiet anxiety is revealed by tapping your fingers on the table.

Examples

How to apply the psychology of body language in everyday life? Learning these patterns may seem difficult. Let's look at an example of a real situation.

Wedding scene. The bride looks at the registry office workers, and the groom directed his gaze at his beloved. The groom does not smile until his future wife sees him. As soon as the bride looked at him, the groom's face immediately broke into a smile. Did this happen after she started turning towards him? What does this situation mean? The corners of the man’s lips are directed downwards, his eyes often flutter. Knowledge of sign language tells us that the young man is tense, but is trying to play a cheerful and carefree groom. He fiddles with his hands, that is, he tries to build a barrier. It can be assumed that he is only pretending to love his future wife.

Correct, organic use allows a woman to achieve greater success with the opposite sex. Girls who openly look at their interlocutor and listen to him attentively, even without natural beauty, make an indelible impression.

Finally

Body language is needed not only for leaders, who, by the nature of their work, must convince and force others to act. Every person needs to learn how to correctly interpret the gestures of their interlocutors. You should also control yourself, do not put your hands in your pockets, and do not try to reveal what should be hidden. Conversation without words provides more than verbal information. Ignorance of this international language can lead to problems, misunderstandings and quarrels.

Important: not all gestures are universal. Some signs accepted in one country can be a deadly insult in another.

To avoid trouble, you should study the sign language of your culture, as well as those of the countries where you plan to travel.

General understanding of body language

By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociologist, specialist in the field of nonverbal speech, emerged. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, a nonverbal person enjoys observing the nonverbal signs and signals of human communication. He watches them at formal functions, on the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies human behavior, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that in more than a million years of human evolution, nonverbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and their existence became known to the public only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on nonverbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today, most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the founders of nonverbal communication; for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When talkies became popular and less attention was paid to the nonverbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with strong verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.

Regarding the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are recognized by researchers today all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1,000 nonverbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that the transfer of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through audio means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research regarding the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence on average lasts no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in a conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal means of communication.

Most researchers share the view that the verbal channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to “discuss” interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what kind of movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what kind of voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.

Many people find it difficult to accept that humans are still biological beings. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless ape that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. It is surprising that the human animal is rarely aware that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.

Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues with verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a feeling, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone is telling a lie, what we really mean is that we have noticed a discrepancy between the person’s body language and the words that person has spoken. Lecturers call this audience sense. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and their arms folded, the receptive person will have a feeling that his message will not be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out a man’s secret in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.

For the first few years, a mother relies only on non-verbal channels of communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.

Innate, Genetic, Acquired and Culturally Conditioned Signals.

Although much research has been done, there is heated debate about whether nonverbal cues are innate or learned, whether they are genetically transmitted or acquired in some other way. Evidence was obtained through observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn nonverbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made of the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives - monkeys and macaques - was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures can be classified. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, suggesting that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Eibl - Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth is manifested without any learning or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Zorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied facial expressions in people from five widely different cultures. They found that different cultures used similar facial expressions when expressing certain emotions, leading them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, are you crossing your right arm over your left or your left arm over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done it. In one case they will feel comfortable, in another case they will not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are learned and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting with the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat with the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes, turning away from him. Does she do this instinctively to protect her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously by watching other women?

Most nonverbal behavior is learned, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. Let's look at these aspects of body language.

Basic Communication Gestures and Their Origins

All over the world, basic communication gestures are the same. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they have an angry look.

Few people know that communication between people consists not only of verbal contact, communication and verbal transmission of information, there is also body language and gestures. This is a non-verbal technique that involves giving signals and signs through movements, facial expressions, glances, as well as manipulation of different parts of the body, that is, gestures. Experts using such data can recognize lies, aggression and many other emotions.

Particular attention should be paid to non-verbal signs, as this will allow you to read between the lines, see truth and lies, and much more. Such skills will be useful to a person not only in personal relationships, but also at work, negotiations, in a team of employees, and at interviews. Therefore, it is worth considering each type of gesture and non-verbal presentation of information, gleaning the necessary information.

Many years ago, scientists and famous scientific figures wrote in their works that by the movements of a person’s body one can understand the mood, as well as the semantic message of information, but the issue of body languages ​​and gestures began to be studied much later. The first figure in this field was the American scientist and psychologist Paul Ekman, who in 1954 studied the language of facial expressions and gestures in people.

Open Gestures

If a person wants to know how sincere and open his opponent is in communication, psychology identifies special gestures of openness.

Namely:

• during a conversation, the opponent gestures and holds his hands with his palms up (if you look at children, when they have done something wrong, they tend to put their hands behind their backs or lower their palms down);
• during an open and honest conversation, the interlocutor will be close to the opponent, gradually reducing the distance between him and himself;
• during business negotiations, a good sign would be for opponents to unbutton their jacket buttons;
• Straightened legs indicate an honest and sincere conversation.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

Today, in many developed countries, knowledge of body and body language is a must for every recruiting manager. In this regard, the topic has become increasingly in demand in other countries, and the benefits of knowing a non-verbal language have been officially proven.

Closed gestures

Separately, psychology examines non-verbal closed gestures, which manifest themselves in the form of protection from the interlocutor due to hostility, negative attitude and hypocrisy. Closed gestures include the following manifestations:

• crossing your arms in the chest area, which demonstrates self-doubt and hostility towards your interlocutor;
• the interlocutor sits with his legs crossed, but not because of convenience and comfort, but because he is fencing himself off from an unpleasant opponent;
• “incomplete barrier”, when a person bends one arm at the elbow and presses it to the body, and straightens the other and places it on his knee, showing caution and mistrust in a non-verbal way.

Psychologists note that body language shapes your personality, so it is extremely important to monitor your body during negotiations or interviews, avoiding closed gestures. An experienced person will immediately recognize a negative attitude, self-doubt, anxiety or hostility towards himself, even if the person verbally behaves impeccably.

Erotic gestures

You can also understand the body language of a man or woman in love by non-verbal manifestations of the body and gestures. Psychologists say that women are more likely to have pronounced erotic gestures, but men are characterized by restraint and control over emotions. A woman’s body language suggests the following manifestations:

• display of the wrist, for example, while smoking, when a woman turns her hand outward, showing the inside of the wrist;
• touching hair, twirling curls or stroking them, throwing hair back;
• licking lips and slightly open mouth during conversation and even silence;
• taking off your shoes and swinging your leg, which attracts the attention of the opposite sex;
• direct eye-to-eye gaze, smile, during eye contact the eyes first drop down and then move to the side;
• stroking hands on knees, thighs, calves;
• crossing the ankles of the legs.

Such verbal methods of flirting and making advances, of course, are inherent in the female sex, since by their nature and temperament they are prone to playful communication and luring a partner. Men, in this regard, act directly and without hints, so a guy in love can be recognized by his actions.

False gestures

The most popular question is how to recognize a lie by non-verbal signs, since in modern society every second person does not shy away from lying for his own benefit. Psychologists say that most liars give themselves away with several gestures during this behavior, for example:

• hands involuntarily reach to the face, a person can cover his mouth, touch his lips, chin; while listening, the interlocutor covers his mouth due to mistrust;
• a pronounced gesture of lying - touching the nose;
• hiding the truth is manifested by scratching the upper eyelid;
• if a person does not agree with the opinion of his opponent, but is afraid to say it directly, he can scratch his neck;
• touching the earlobes indicates that the listener does not believe his interlocutor.

The most common and well-known sign of lying is looking away from the eyes, fear of direct eye contact. In fact, scientists have proven that this is a false judgment; averting the eyes is a natural phenomenon; during memories, a person will avert his eyes to the left or up, and during fantasies and inventions - up or to the right.

Aggressive gestures

You can visually assess the mood of your interlocutor by his gestures and facial expressions, so psychologists separately consider gestures of aggression and hostility. For example:

• clenching hands into fists;
• throwing your arms to the side speaks of determination and a mood for action;
• sitting on a chair in a “riding” position is an indicator of a negative attitude towards the opponent;
• folding your hands behind your back.

Hiding signs and gestures of aggression and expressed hostility towards a certain person is actually very difficult, since these are strong emotions, the control of which requires long and hard training.

Nervous gestures

If a person feels insecure and irritable in communication, it will be extremely difficult to hide such a state. Most likely, nervousness will be manifested by the following gestures:

• teenagers start biting their nails;
• an adult can chew on a pen or pencil, bang them on the table, or tap their fingers;
• a shifting gaze is a consequence of anxiety;
• Frequent changes in body position and fussiness indicate irritability and nervousness.

Do you have a habit of chewing on your pen?

YesNo

In this state, breathing quickens, the gaze cannot focus on one thing, and it will be quite difficult for a person to control his body.

Bored gestures

Some specific gestures will tell you how to understand body language in order to find out how interested your interlocutor is in the conversation. For example:

• during communication, the interlocutor puts his head in the palms of his hands;
• a boring conversation may be accompanied by tapping of feet on the floor;
• engaging in another activity, for example, drawing on a piece of paper, twirling a pen or other object in your hand, looking at your phone or watch, looking at your hands, and many others.

Thus, we can conclude that an uninteresting conversation will be accompanied by a lack of stable eye contact between opponents and extraneous actions.

Confidential gestures

It is extremely important for some people to recognize by gestures how much a particular person trusts them. Psychologists name several reliable gestures that indicate complete trust and emancipation of the interlocutor, namely:

• while listening to a speech, the interlocutor will periodically nod his head;
• manifestation of the “dome” gesture, that is, the elbows of the hands will stand on the table, and the hands will be joined in the fingers, forming, as it were, a dome (often this gesture shows a person’s complacency and selfishness);
• complete trust on the part of the interlocutor is his open palms.

Appreciative gestures

By some actions you can be sure that the interlocutor is not just observing the speaker, but also evaluating him. For example:

• while listening, a person rests his head on the palm of his hand, putting his index finger up;
• during a conversation, the listener takes off his glasses and touches his lips with the bow;
• Scratching the chin indicates that a person is thinking about the topic of conversation.

Also, while thinking through the topic of a conversation and assessing it, a person can pace from side to side, as if trying to make one decision for himself. Also, while assessing a conversation, he can pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers, closing his eyes.

Difference between male and female gestures

Many famous psychologists have studied the body language of men and women, making comparative characteristics. In the case of a woman, body language is a pronounced manifestation of emotion and passion, while men are by nature restrained and balanced, which means their gestures will be hidden and less recognizable. And only a very observant person will be able to read them.

A man, if he likes a girl, will demonstrate the following gestures:

• straightening clothes or hairstyle, as well as brushing off specks or dust, even if there is none;
• straightening the shoulders, retracting the abdomen, expressive and bright gaze;
• putting a finger in the belt of trousers, holding hands in pockets with the thumb facing out;
• a long and studying look at the woman.

In turn, a woman’s body language differs from the gestures of a guy in love in the following ways:

• shaking hair, straightening hairstyle;
• gait with swaying hips;
• short glances from under the eyelashes;
• touching your hips, waist;
• demonstration of the wrist area;
• stroking a pencil, the stem of a glass or other elongated object with your fingers;
• parted lips, languid, breathy voice;
• laying legs on legs.

Women are more open in non-verbal expressions of their sympathy, but due to embarrassment and self-doubt, sometimes gestures of sympathy can be somewhat different - fast speech with a trembling voice, loud and abrupt laughter or awkward movements.

For reference! Men's body language aims to demonstrate their strength and self-confidence, while women show weakness and insecurity with their body and gestures.

How to recognize the simplest gestures?

The defining indicators in the study of body language are the hands and their movements, body position or posture, as well as facial expressions. It has been proven that under the influence of certain feelings and emotions, relaxation of various facial structures and their coordinated contractions occur. You can also read a lot from the look and eyes; all that remains is to understand the simplest and most undisguised manifestations of emotions and feelings.

Poses

Body position is a clear indicator of what a person may be hiding from his opponent or not telling. For example:

• aggression - standing or sitting, arms akimbo or body forward, thumbs hidden in pockets or belt;
• self-confidence and self-righteousness - head held high, chin forward, sitting at the table, fingers connected only at the tips, but spread apart in the palms;
• desire to change the topic and negative attitude - standing with support on any object;
• fear and anxiety - fidgeting in a chair, frequent changes of body position.

The remaining body position gestures were described earlier in the classification according to a person’s mood. Psychologists note that a frequently repeated pose indicates that a person has stable personality traits.

Facial expressions

Well-known psychologists regularly publish books in which they consider the latest observations of scientists regarding non-verbal human gestures. Particular attention is paid to facial expressions, by which all existing emotions and feelings can be recognized, despite the context of the conversation, for example:

• interest- eyelids are widened or narrow, and eyebrows are raised or lowered;
• joy- curvature of the lips, pulling their corners back;
• happiness- calm eyes, looking back and raised corners of the lips;
• disgust- wrinkled nose, drooping eyebrows, protrusion of the lower lip, slanted eyes;
• fear- raised straight eyebrows, widened eyes, open mouth with tense corners and straight lips above the teeth;
• contempt- raised eyebrows and an elongated face shape, a top-down look;
• shame- lowered head, averted face, averted gaze, closed eyelids and darting gaze, rapid breathing;
• anger- frowning of the face, widening of the nostrils, compressed or drawn-out lips, redness of the face;
• sorrow- dull eyes and knitted eyebrows, drooping corners of the lips.

Facial expressions are a clear indicator of a person's emotions if he has not learned the skill of facial control. In modern society, there are even trainings and courses on how to manage your facial expressions so as not to reveal all your cards in important conversations and contacts with people.

Movements

Movements are gestures that are the result of experiences and mental anxieties. From them you can read what a person experiences inside himself at a given moment in time or his characteristic features. The most typical patterns of human behavior in terms of gestures are as follows:

• active gestures- this is an indicator of a person’s positive mood, interest and friendliness;
• excessive gesticulation- an indicator of self-doubt, nervousness and anxiety.

More detailed gestures and their designations have been described previously, for example, touching the hair during flirting, clenching fists due to anger, covering the mouth with one's hand during distrust or lying, showing open palms when treating an opponent openly, biting nails due to anxiety, collection of lint and dust on clothes as a sign of disapproval, tilting the head to one side due to interest, and much more.

Here is an example of gestures of a guy in love

To understand how to recognize facial expressions, gestures and other non-verbal signs in a person in practice, it is enough to look at a clear example. The body language of a man in love will help any woman accurately determine his true feelings and emotions in relation to her. There are several points to pay attention to:

• appearance- a man in love is neatly dressed, clean-shaven, smells pleasant;
• sight- a close and appraising look into a woman’s eyes and lips;
• hands- involuntary manipulations, for example, brushing away specks of dust or straightening your hair;
• voice- a timid, insinuating voice, without harshness or changes in intonation.

A man who likes a woman will demonstrate his strength and masculinity in every possible way. In addition, he will be interested in all areas of the life of his object of desire, and show care and responsibility.

Conclusion

Body language is a non-verbal method of communication that not all people have. It includes gestures, body movements, postures, facial expressions and even intonation in the voice. Many well-known psychologists have devoted books to this broad topic, for example Alan Pease and James Borg, describing common, as well as male and female characteristic nonverbal expressions.

It is common for a person to express his emotions and feelings in the process of communication, regardless of oral presentation or in the form of written messages. People, in direct contact with each other, using facial expressions, body language and gestures bring bright colors to the story. It becomes possible to understand whether the interlocutor was interested in this topic or left indifferent.

Non-verbal communication. Truth or myth?

Some doubt the existence of body language, considering all conversations on this topic to be empty fiction.

Opponents of the theory of postures and gestures argue that changes in body position occur for completely different reasons. For example, when sitting, it is more convenient for a person to cross his arms if there are no armrests, and not at all because he is a misanthrope.

People start yawning not only because they start to get bored. Lack of oxygen in a cramped office or overwork can trigger this process. Therefore, before formulating conclusions, it is necessary to understand why the interlocutor began to actively gesticulate or rotate an object in his hands.

An experiment will help reveal sign language. And the subjects can be friends and relatives, whose facial expressions, postures and gestures change in different life situations. But in no case should you impose and put pressure, otherwise you can damage many years of friendship and good relationships.

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal means of communication is the process of transmitting thoughts without the use of speech - the second signaling system. It absorbs 60–80% of veiled information.

Each of us, when communicating with an opponent who competently sets out the essence of the matter and argues with facts, often feels some kind of catch in his words. But, despite the reliability and veracity of the information, intuition suggests that you should not rely entirely on this person. And with further communication, discomfort is felt, the person is looking for something to complain about.

And, indeed, the interlocutor is betrayed by changes in facial expressions, posture and gestures that contradict his smooth presentation. A certain inconsistency appears and serious concerns arise that he is not acting in your interests at all.

It is difficult for a person to hold back emotions for a long time; they must find a way out. But due to circumstances, rules of decency and norms of society, we are not free to surrender to the will of feelings and express them by changing posture, facial expressions and gestures. Often this behavior becomes the norm and turns into a habit.

Examples of nonverbal communication

• If a girl, showing off her wrist, communicates with a member of the opposite sex, she lets him know that she is ready to get closer to him. And if he also paints his lips with bright lipstick, then he has truly become the object of her passion.

• There is a common method of establishing contact with new acquaintances: you should copy his gestures and postures. If the interlocutor crossed his arms, you can repeat this body movement. This manipulation promotes non-verbal unity. There is a whole set of such small tricks.

To grasp the true meaning, you need to pay close attention to the position of the interlocutor's hands and feet.

Mainly gestures and postures emphasize the truth, and sometimes contradict what was said.

It is difficult to believe a person with crossed limbs convincing another of good intentions. It is unlikely that he will fulfill his promise. Surely he uses the location and trust of his partners for his personal interests.

Through gestures and posture you can hide some information from your opponents. Despite the casualness and ease of communication, the posture makes it clear that the owner does not intend to share important information with anyone.

Psychology of Gestures

Alan Pease, a famous psychologist, is called "Mr. Body Language." The author has published his works in millions of copies. Alana Pease set out to not only teach the reader to “decipher” body language, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. Even the slightest changes do not escape his attention, up to the dilation of the pupils and the closing of the eyelids.

Firstly, there is an opportunity to establish communications.

Secondly, it is possible with a high degree of probability to calculate a person’s further actions.

From the standpoint of psychological knowledge, Alan focuses on the distinctive features of behavior and gestures in women and men.

In addition to gender differences, the body movements of managers and subordinates differ sharply. Watching a conversation, you can record the rapid change of emotions.

Nonverbal behavior and gestures

• If a friend is hunched over, this indicates that he has been severely offended or has experienced severe stress. The exorbitant “severity of the problems” does not allow him to straighten his shoulders. He feels discomfort because he cannot cope with the situation and thus closes down.

• If the interlocutor leans towards the speaker, this means that he is interested in the topic of the conversation. So he tries to get closer to the source of information.

• By tilting his head and simultaneously lowering his eyelids, the interlocutor expresses complete approval. There is no doubt about his respectful attitude. On the contrary, if a person often touches his face with his hands, touching his eyes or the corners of his mouth, he does not trust you.

• An individual's condition is revealed by his hands. When excited and irritated, it is common for a person to stroke himself, straighten his hair, or roll and fiddle with the first objects he comes across in his hands. Sometimes he puts his fingers in his mouth. In this case, he needs the support and approval of his opponent.

• Trust, openness, and willingness to cooperate are demonstrated by open palms. If he doesn't cross his elbows or legs, he will appeal to you. And if he puts his hands behind his back and raises his chin high, he thereby demonstrates his superiority.

• To convince your partner of a serious and responsible approach to further cooperation, you should use the following method. During business negotiations, it is necessary to mentally draw a potential partner a triangle between the eyes above the bridge of the nose and look into this area.

75 signs of body language according to Max Eggert