A list of basic human life principles and ways to develop them. How to achieve success

Success is a complicated thing. In fact, anyone can become successful, but to do this you need to know the principles and rules of achieving success.

First of all, in order to change your life for the better, you need to change yourself, study, practice and believe in achieving success.

Let's now figure out what you need to change in yourself and what kind of person you need to become in order to succeed. It must be admitted that most of us spend almost no time seriously thinking about ourselves and our lives. In our busy daily schedule, we often neglect this important part of the success formula.

First of all, you must realize that you are an individual and you yourself determine the success of your life. Understand once and for all, you are the master of your destiny and the quality and standard of your life depends only on you. Don’t look for excuses, don’t blame the country you live in, your family, circumstances, but just look for opportunities and act. Many successful people were born into poor families, but despite this they achieved success. So no excuses! Believe in yourself! If at least one person can do this, then you can too.

Basic principles for achieving success:

1).Make a firm decision to become a successful person and move towards your goal. Make up your own, write down everything you want to accomplish in your life. How you see yourself, what you want to have, what to do, who to communicate with, what to see, etc. The clearer the portrait of you as successful, the faster you will become such a person. Anyone has the right to a dream and can become whoever they want. You can create a new future for yourself at any time.

2). Love yourself, life, the people around you. Try to avoid negative thoughts and focus on beauty, wealth and abundance. This way you will attract it into your life. Make life better in all areas.

3). Find a business that will bring you pleasure and allow you to earn the necessary amount of money. Most people become successful and rich through entrepreneurship. If you are not an entrepreneur, your chances of becoming successful and rich are already several times less because of this alone. When starting a new business, don’t expect everything to work out right away. Be prepared to try again as often as necessary. A successful person fell no less than a loser, he just got up every time and moved on. Make it your motto: “Never give up!”

Successful people are very often real fans of the activity that brings them money over everyone else. Ordinary people are rarely truly passionate about their work, or even dislike it at all. They are usually fans of something else - leisure, entertainment, in general, things that are not their source of income. Therefore, it is not surprising that as a result they do not have much of a competitive advantage and earn no more than average.
If you are not one of those people who would happily go to a seminar or conference in your specialty on the weekend and would perhaps get more pleasure from it than from going to the movies or billiards, this is an alarming sign. This means that you are not doing your own thing, and you should think about changing your occupation.

And if you do do what you love, then don’t put money first, the main thing is the benefit that you can give to people. Always strive to bring more value instead of just competing. And the money will come by itself.

4). Reach out to successful people and keep in touch with them, since we become those with whom we communicate. But, under no circumstances envy them. Don't compare yourself to other people, but tune in to them. Find someone who has done better in the area you want to succeed in and do the same. Communication with successful people will help you get closer to your own success.

5). Constantly learn and develop. Load yourself with information on the topic in which you want to become a master. Build into yourself the program “I will do this until I become a master!” If you want to achieve success, then you need to study success. If you want to be happy, then you need to study happiness. And if you want to get more money, then you should seriously study the issues of achieving financial success. Everyone who has achieved anything did not achieve it by chance, but through training and practice. Don't expect a great idea about how to succeed to pop into your head out of nowhere. In our world, nothing can appear out of nowhere. And at the same time, if you are looking for knowledge on how to succeed in this life, then you will definitely find it. Knowledge is the shortest path that will lead you to your dreams and goals.

6). Focus on the things that really matter to you and do them regularly. Nothing can replace intense, results-oriented work. The sooner you start acting, the better your chances.

7). Learn to enjoy everything you do, then even routine work will bring joy. Be open to the world. New people, places, actions, knowledge - all this gives rise to new ideas and thoughts in your head that bring you closer to success.

In contact with

The principles of successful people are certain rules that a person has developed specifically for himself. The desire to reach certain heights plays an important role. The theory is also confirmed by a person’s views on a certain problem and the actions that he performs in order to obtain the desired result.

All people have different characters and priorities in life, so everyone chooses their own path. But there are global universal rules that are the basis on the path to achieving the goal.

Questions to formulate personal principles

Every person strives to learn the principles of successful people in order to use them to achieve their own high goal. Before you make big plans, you need to ask yourself a few questions. They will help you get to know yourself better and set the right direction for your future actions. The list of questions looks like this:

What laws really apply in my life?
Under what circumstances do I become more active and like myself?
How do I achieve a state that helps me act constructively?
Which situations have a positive effect on me, and which ones unsettle me?
Do I have intuition?
What life episodes push me to take decisive action?
In what state do the correct answers to the questions posed come?
What qualities do I need to succeed?
What actions will I not agree to under any circumstances?
How often does it turn out that the decision was made correctly?

After sincere answers to the questions posed, it is necessary to move on to certain actions that will help formulate the life principles of a successful person. To do this, it is necessary to analyze which postulates are acceptable to a person, and which are simply alien to him. After all, each individual is brought up in certain conditions, communicates with a specific circle of people, and is dependent on personal circumstances. Therefore, you should not try on something that categorically does not correspond to your lifestyle.

You should not come up with a large number of rules for yourself, since in this context quantity is inferior to quality. The basic rules are easy to remember and put into practice, but a huge list made up just for fun is impossible to follow.

It is necessary that the principles of rich and successful people be prominently displayed, since they will have to be constantly returned to. This could be a sticky note on your desk, a photo on your phone, or a document on your computer. This list needs careful analysis. You can set a certain time for yourself, after which it is recommended to report to yourself what has been done and what remains to be done. If the need arises, you can adjust it.

Principles of success

There are 5 principles of a successful person that are universal. They look like this:

Heart. You can never succeed in something you don't love. You can force yourself, overcome many obstacles and even see the fruits of your labor. But this will be only a fleeting victory that will not bring satisfaction. Only with a sincere heart and love can you count on long-term successful projects.
Faith. Only by believing in your victory can you achieve certain results. If you feel like a failure, it is better not to even begin to implement your plan. The result will be exactly as expected.
Failures. The principle of successful people can only be this approach: failures do not exist, there is only experience. And it can be positive or negative, but it is always necessary.
Synergy. A lot depends on a person’s environment, since it is almost impossible to cope with any problem alone.
Lighthouse. A person should feel like a ship that strives for a certain lighthouse. If a global idea is conceived, the bright light will be a little further away. If there is an intermediate task, there will be more beacons, but they are small in size. It doesn’t matter, the main thing is that the light of hope always burns ahead.

Stephen Covey's theory

American business consultant Stephen Covey wrote a book about personal development in 1989. The theory described in it was based on the principles of humanistic psychology. In the fifteen years since its release, Covey's 7 Principles of Successful People have been translated into 38 languages and included in the 25 most influential business books in the world. The bestseller "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" was highly acclaimed in 2011 by Time magazine.

Achieving independence

The first three habits (according to Covey) should be aimed at self-control (achieving independence).

Activity. This concept implies responsibility for one's own decisions. A person must be active and proactive, while correctly calculating his own strengths and not relying on others.
Final goal. This is a mandatory condition, since a person must clearly understand what he is striving for. The composer writes down the notes, the builder designs the project, etc.
Order of priority. It is necessary to draw up a plan for the sequence of planned work. Important and urgent work should be done first, then important and non-urgent, unimportant and urgent, followed by unimportant and non-urgent.

Interaction with others

The next three principles of life for successful people will be interpersonal dependence. Having learned to control yourself and be independent for yourself, you need to learn how to contact people.

Overall victory. In order to achieve the necessary results, it is recommended to find like-minded people who will also be interested in winning. If people work together to do one thing, it is guaranteed to be successful.
Learn to hear before being heard. In a conversation with an interlocutor, you need to hear what he is trying to convey, analyze, and only then express your opinion on this matter.
Achieve synergy (joint constructive actions). The most fruitful contacts occur when people have opposing views on solving a problem. At the same time, they extract from communication everything necessary for their presentation. The business they are involved in becomes studied from different angles, which makes it successful.

Self improvement

The most important principle of successful people is “sharpening the saw,” which means self-improvement. You should never stop there, because each next experience will be much better than the previous one. Temporary difficulties should not upset you, you just need to add a little extra effort. Working on yourself, creativity and communication skills will help you overcome all obstacles and achieve your goal. The main thing is not to calm down, but to continue to be active.

The Most Important Principles and Rules of Success

There are from ten to one hundred basic Principles or Rules of success. (“principles” or “rules” are called differently, but the essence is the same). Many people may be interested in the answer to the question: “Is there the most important, most important principle of success? Is there a cardinal rule for success that applies equally to everyone?”

The answer is very simple: there is no single and most important principle of success. But there is a set of the most important principles and rules of success that will be relevant for every person. Of course, for men and women, for people of different ages and professions, these principles will be relevant in different ways. But the main essence, the basic rules were, are and will be equally useful for everyone.

We people don’t necessarily need to know a hundred or a thousand principles and rules of success. It is enough to know the most important, most universal and most useful.

You can select ten such the most important principles or rules for success which, like the Ten Commandments, every person should know. These are the “golden” rules that work in any field, for people of any gender, age, social status and cultural level. The basic, most important or most important principles and rules for success in life, business or career can fit into one ten. We can say that these ten principles - rules of success not just basic, important or central, but obligatory for all people.

In other words, if you do not understand, do not follow, or neglect one of the principles of these ten, then this means that you are most likely missing out on most of your opportunities. In analogy terms, you are trying to ride on one, two, three wheels instead of four. To ensure your chances of success in life, it is very important to clearly understand, know and follow the basic principles and rules for achieving success.

Since knowledge and understanding of the main and most important principles of success is extremely useful for all people who want something in life, the author of this article has prepared for you mini audio lessons on each of the ten principles.

You can listen to the audio data about each of the ten principles of success at the link:

Each “important/core/main” principle of success has a bunch of sub-principles and relationships with other simpler principles and rules. For example, almost everyone knows that they need to act, but few people delve into the essence of HOW and WHAT to do. Each specific job or specific case will have its own set of specific sub-principles of the BEST way to do something so that there is an expected result. Among other things, there is a set of universal operating principles that ensure maximum efficiency with the least effort in almost any matter. Such principles are united by “Time Management”.

Each person, in addition to the ten basic principles, will have his own set of principles and rules for success. You, throughout your life, define and will define this additional set of principles for yourself. Only you know the features of your life, activities, work and other nuances. No one will determine for you what is better or worse for you. Only you can determine for yourself additional principles and rules of success that help you in life, work, career, business and relationships.

Let's look at a few things about basic principles of success and give them a brief explanation:

1. The first and basic principle-rule of success is called “Z“You have the position of co-author of your life.”

In this case, the key point is to try to be in the position of the author more often than in the position of the victim. Most people, as a rule, do not consciously notice that they are taking the position of a “victim”. This is perhaps one of the main problems - most of our attitudes are hidden in the subconscious and manifest themselves automatically. We ourselves often do not notice and do not realize that we are complaining, making excuses or blaming other people for what we ourselves are to blame for. This is how our nature and psychology work - it protects us from unnecessary self-criticism so that we worry less and feel more comfortable. However, with a strong desire, you can notice and change your attitude both to life in general and to any particular case.

It is also important to understand what is within your control and capabilities and what is not. Determining your area of control and responsibility is often a challenge for many people, as it requires high awareness and mental effort. Therefore, it is quite natural that many people often try to take the easier route and shift responsibility onto others - to blame, make excuses, or somehow explain why they don’t do something and don’t get results.

2. The second important principle-rule of success says: “Learn to define your Goals."

Once you come to the realization that a lot depends on you, it's a good idea to start figuring out what you want in your life. Of course, this is not a one-time action. Most people don't think much about this topic at all. But little by little, without fanaticism, it is worth the time. Sometimes, from time to time (once a year is just wonderful!), it’s worth setting aside a little time to think: “What do you want in your life in the near future and in the long term, for example, three years...” What are your Goals, Desires and Dreams?

It is important to understand that GOALS, DESIRE and DREAMS are not the same thing. Although these three areas relate to your “wants” to varying degrees, there are significant differences between goals, desires, and dreams. On the modern Internet, books, seminars, especially in RuNet, there is little clarity on this matter and often the authors themselves do not very clearly draw the line between goals, dreams and desires.

Learning to define and achieve your goals, fulfill your desires and make your dreams come true is one of the key skills for success in any area of life, be it career, business, personal growth or relationships.

3. The third most important principle is the rulecalled: "Develop the skill of active action.”

Despite all the obviousness and simplicity, at first glance, this principle is too comprehensive and has many specific subprinciples. It is the understanding of the subprinciples and rules of active action that produces tangible results.

Most people understand well that it is important to take active action, but few people delve into the essence of HOW and WHAT to do. Each specific job or specific business will have its own set of specific subprinciples “how best to do something so that there is a quick and positive result.”

4. Fourththe most important principle-rulecalled: "Learn to use the Law of Attraction.

There is currently a lot of literature, books, courses, seminars and trainings on the topic of the “Law of Attraction”. The “Law of Attraction” is an old topic that gained great popularity at the beginning of the last century. A hundred years have passed. Much has changed. The most important thing is that people have changed. They flew into space, mastered oil, electricity and atoms, launched airplanes, invented the Internet and the iPhone... Compared to the last century, the difference is colossal. It’s hard to imagine that a hundred years ago most people couldn’t read! Until recently, knowledge of psychology was the privilege of a narrow circle of people. Accordingly, the narrative and interpretation of the “Law of Attraction” was almost mythical. Something like this: “.. there is such a “wonderful Law of Attraction”... do this and that, and miracles will begin to happen in your life”…. The funny thing is that nowadays many authors interpret this law word for word, as it was a hundred years ago. Hence such “magic” explanations and promises. It should be noted that regardless of different interpretations and explanations, the Law of Attraction works and works for sure. This Law is based on our subconscious. This Law can be explained in an interesting way using simple psychology. You can listen to more detailed explanations of this principle and how it works in audio format by following the link:

5. The fifth important principle-rule is “The ability to use your own Motivation.”

Motivation is a separate big topic worthy of separate books, courses and seminars. It is important to understand that there is motivation and there is self-motivation and this is not the same thing. There are also “positive” and “negative” motivation and self-motivation. Most people are not very good at either. Self-motivation for most people occurs on an intuitive subconscious level. Lack of understanding of the meaning of life, depression, reluctance to do something, laziness, anger and disrespect for other people often arise due to the lack of simple self-motivation skills and a lack of understanding of this important principle of success.

6. The sixth main principle-rule is “The ability to get along and communicate with people.”

The ability to communicate competently and usefully with people is a whole little science. But the good news is that there are no more than ten main principles or subprinciples in this case.

7. The seventh important principle-rule: “Play” according to the “Laws of Success”, psychology and life, and not against them.

There are things that we can change, and there are things that we cannot change. The basic “Laws of Life” are precisely those things that cannot be changed or influenced by us. To fight them or not to comply with these laws means to “play” against yourself or to your detriment. Understanding these Laws leads to adequate goals, desires and real results.

To the Basic Laws of Success or Laws of Life can be attributed:

The law of one hundred percent responsibility;
Law of cause and effect;
Law of feedback;
Law of non-random numbers;
Law of Maturation;
The law of the inevitable sequence of results;
The Law of Constant Change;
Law of Relativity;
Law of attraction.

Also, the Laws of Life include the main Commandments, which in our opinion is quite obvious. But this is from a different area of knowledge and a personal matter for each person.

These are the principles, rules and Laws of achieving Success. You can learn more about the “Laws of Life” or “Laws of Success” from the audio recording for each principle.

Successful people do not have any magical powers. They don't let stress control them, they take control of their lives and strive to improve it every day. Below is a list of things that successful people DO NOT do. Perhaps if you want to become successful and positive, you will need this list.

They don't think bad things

Have you ever thought that many problems would not exist if we did not invent them ourselves? Successful people know that jumping to conclusions is usually a bad idea. Instead of doubting people (“What if he doesn’t like me,” “What will he think of me?”) and thinking that they are untrustworthy, they make an effort to learn more about them.

They don't lie

Living a lie is easy because the lie can become so strong that it will eventually make people believe it. Positive people face the truth and live in the truth, because making excuses will never solve problems, but only make them worse.

They don't hold grudges

Successful people know that resentment only causes negative emotions and disappointments in life, so they let it go. They prefer to understand and forgive what happened and move on with a lesson learned from it.

They don't forget about the little things

Isn't it true that the little things in life are quickly forgotten. Yes, but not for successful people. They are grateful for every blessing, no matter how small. They think it's stupid that greater benefits will make them happier if they can't be happy with what they already have.

They take responsibility

Successful people understand that they are the architects of their own happiness and bear full responsibility for what happens to them. They are not "stuck in traffic" - they are late. Successful people never say “I can’t”, they just take it and do it.

The problem for them is"no problem »

For successful people, a “problem” is a challenge, not just another difficulty in life. They believe that obstacles are opportunities to get the best. Successful people never miss a chance to appreciate their efforts and improve their lives.

They accept the circumstances

For most people, the world is a place of broken hopes, failed ideas and broken destinies. But successful people know that if they want anything is possible, and they know how to adapt to circumstances.

They expect "nothing" from nothing

Successful people do not expect gifts from fate, they know that everything comes through hard work and hard work. Successful people are well aware that achieving success may take a little longer than they would like, but it is worth it.

They don't get bored or depressed

Boredom kills creativity, inspiration and the desire to create. Successful people are fascinated and inspired by everything around them. They enjoy the world around them and explore it with enthusiasm.

They don't compare with others

Successful people understand that everyone is different and everyone has their own level of development, and therefore they do not compare themselves to others. They are confident in what they are doing. Instead of paying attention to what others are doing, they focus on how to improve their lives.

They don't suffer for every failure

For positive people, failure is not such a terrible thing that they try to avoid it at all costs. They know that failure is an opportunity when it comes to trying again. Failure helps successful people achieve success because it allows them to learn and grow.

They don't look at the world with rose-colored glasses

Successful people do not focus on perfection and ideals, because they know that this is impossible. When was the last time you thought, “Today is the perfect day to start exercising,” or something like that. There is no perfect time. Successful people act here and now.

They don't waste time on people who act in a harmful way.

Successful people do not allow those with harmful influences to drag them down. On the contrary, they surround themselves with positive people who will make them better, whom they would like to aspire to and who could become an example for them.

Lifehack

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Principle one.

DO EVERYTHING ON TIME

Remember yourself when you are waiting for a person who should come any minute. And he’s gone for ten, twenty, thirty minutes. And your state of tense anticipation is not pleasant. And when you are late, you condemn the person who is waiting for you to the same state. And only then, on occasion, he can tell your friends that you are not a necessary person and can let you down. Therefore, do not be surprised if you are less likely to be assigned responsible tasks. By the way, if your manager gives you an assignment and you haven’t completed it by a certain deadline, then in his eyes you will look like a not very reliable person.

The principle of not being late applies to the mentality of absolutely any country. In Japan they won’t even forgive you if you don’t show up five minutes before the start of a business meeting. In Brazil or Argentina, no one will notice that you are an hour late. But in the civilized business world, even there it is customary not to be late.

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Immanuel Kant wrote that he himself, with his own hands, made himself healthy and lengthened his life. Kant's whole life was measured and likened to a chronometer. At ten o'clock sharp he went to bed. And for thirty years I never got up at the wrong time. At 7.00 he went for a walk. Residents of Koenigsberg set their watches by it.

Support de Balzac was distinguished by an enviable capacity for work. But his day was strictly regulated. He wrote: “To work means to get up every day at midnight, write until eight o’clock in the morning, have breakfast at a quarter of an hour, work again until five, have lunch, go to bed and start all over again tomorrow.”

It is curious that the Japanese do not trust those who ask to do something right away, since it is urgent and cannot be delayed. Such people look disorganized in their eyes. Larry Marshall, who is involved in personnel selection at a Japanese electrical goods distribution corporation, noted how, for this reason, a broker found himself out of work after a week of working at the enterprise. Another broker, who was employed by the corporation at the same time as the first one, worked in the company for fifteen years, as he always warned against the conclusion of an agreement with the words: “We need to think about it.”

Principle two.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING EXTRAORDINARY

Let's not break open doors, proving how talking about nothing can easily score penalty points. In addition to the fact that in this case you are “robbing” your time, you may be labeled as a chatterbox and a slacker. Don’t be offended later when people, burning with impatience, are less likely to engage in dialogue with you.

While ringing incessantly, think about the interlocutor, put yourself in his place.

There is one more nuance why the information coming from you should be dosed. Remember how often, having foolishly blurted out something unnecessary, we then repent for a long time. Maybe it’s better to warn your talkativeness in advance. No wonder people say: the word is silver, silence is gold.

But what to do if you become the victim of an overly talkative interlocutor? At a time management seminar in America, administrators are instructed to learn how to stop talking.

Interestingly, the end of telephone conversations depends on how they begin. If the subscriber begins to communicate with the phrase: “Hello, how are you?”, be sure that the conversation will last a long time. If you hear on the phone: “Hi, do you have a minute, could you answer me briefly?”, then the conversation will be short.

It's harder to stop talking. But this can also be learned. You can simply and briefly reassure your interlocutor and offer to continue the conversation when they meet.

One administrator, when called at an inopportune time, simply hung up in the middle of the conversation, and did this in the middle of his sentence.

It is estimated that each telephone conversation lasts 3-5 minutes. And if a manager talks 20-30 times a day, then in total he spends several hours on the phone alone. There are certain rules for talking on the phone. When the phone rings in your company, you must pick up the phone until the fourth ring, and say “good morning (afternoon)” and introduce yourself. You can't ask; “Can I help you?” You should say: “How can I help you?” It is unethical to ask the question: “Who is it?” or “Who is asking?”, it is more correct to say: “May I know who is speaking?” or "Please tell me who is speaking?"
Such expressions can undermine the reputation of your company: I don’t know, we can’t do this, you have to. In any case, you cannot give a negative answer directly. It has also been noted that the word “no” spoken at the beginning of a sentence complicates a positive solution to the problem.

A well-modulated voice has been proven to be a very effective trading lever. To speak on the phone in a controlled voice, you need to take the same postures as when speaking in public: press your heels into the floor, release the respiratory diaphragm from your belt, and fill your lungs with air. Accelerating the pace of the conversation will reveal your tension; a slow pace is typical for a confidential conversation. You need to present your idea simply and directly. Don't endlessly jump from one thought to another. Never interrupt your interlocutor. Don't shout, but don't whisper too quickly. If your hands are tired from physical work, rest assured that your vocal cords will reveal your condition.

Principle three.

BE KIND, FRIENDLY, FRIENDLY

Smile, say hello, give a well-timed compliment - is it really that difficult? Just don’t be offended later that our inattention will turn against us - those around us will also speak to us formally, dryly and primly.

You must be friendly with people of any rank. Since it is unknown to what rank the subordinate will rise to in the future. The image of any organization is made up of the views and actions of its employees. Therefore, being kind, friendly and welcoming is not a personal matter, but a matter of the company in which you work. You need to respect your workplace, be polite both to the team and to clients who contact the organization. Nobody likes to deal with grumpy people. In addition, a person’s face is designed in such a way that it tends to record information. If you constantly grumble, then by the age of forty the folds of your face will give you away as a grumpy person. If people around you say that you know how to please, then you are on the right path.

American researchers have found that stereotypes play a huge role in business communication. If before the meeting a person was given a good description, then they approach him as a known good person.

Dale Carnegie advised treating people the way you would like to be treated. Bernard Shaw specified this wish; he believed that a compliment should always be given in a worthy manner and on time.

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Each country has its own specific behavior. In England, never approach strangers unless you have been introduced to them. It is customary to shake hands there only at the first introduction. Don't kiss hands. Do not give compliments in public such as: what a beautiful dress you have - this will be regarded as the greatest indelicacy.

In Germany you must give the title of everyone you talk to. If the title is unknown, you can contact Hen-doctor. A married woman should be addressed by her husband's title (Frau Doctor) or Gnadige frau - gracious empress. For girls - Gnadiges Fraulein (simply Fraulein is called only for maids or saleswomen in stores).

In Holland you should avoid shaking hands and not giving compliments. Maintain exceptional timing in every meeting.

In Italy you have to be generous with kissing ladies' hands. You should first ask your friends about the health of their children, and then about their health.

In Portugal, it is illegal to compliment women in public.

In Switzerland it is not customary to kiss hands. You cannot make a visit without agreeing on it the day before.

In Sweden, the word Task (thank you) must be used in all circumstances.

Principle four.

THINK ABOUT OTHERS, NOT JUST YOURSELF

A few years ago, a book by Harvard University psychologist Daniel Golman, “Emotional Intelligence,” appeared in America, which created a real sensation. For many years, it was generally accepted that intellectual quotient (IQ) determined a person's capabilities, and emotions were not remembered. Nobel Prize winner William Shockley even proposed sterilizing American blacks because they supposedly have a low rate.

In reality, everything turned out to be wrong. It is emotions that are responsible for making decisions, says Golman. The Harvard psychologist himself and his associates have repeatedly confirmed experimentally that the best researchers and company employees are precisely those with a high EQ (emotional quotient). There is even a saying in America that goes something like this: “With a good IQ you will be hired, with a good EQ you will be promoted.”

A high level of emotional intelligence is determined by two qualities - self-control and the ability to read other people's feelings.

The New York telephone company analyzed the vocabulary of 500 telephone conversations. The most common word was the pronoun “I” (about 4,000 times it was heard during telephone conversations). This is obvious - people are interested in themselves first of all. Therefore, in order to become interesting to others, you need to be interested in other people. Moreover, the famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie deduces six basic rules for how to please people. Be genuinely interested in other people. Smile. Remember that a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound for him. Be a good listener (encourage others to talk about themselves). Talk about what interests your interlocutor. Instill in him an awareness of his significance and do it sincerely.

Another American professor, Keith Davis, reminds us: nature gave man two ears, but only one tongue, subtly hinting that it is better to listen more than to talk. This is ultimately necessary, says Davis, to make informed decisions. Effective listening, in his opinion, is possible if you stop talking for a while, and create a feeling of freedom for the speaker. You must really listen with interest (do not read mail, do not tap on the table, do not rearrange papers). You need to take the position of the speaker (empathize with him, be patient, restrain your character). It is unacceptable to stoop to controversy.

Try exercising your visual memory. When meeting a person, try to remember in detail his external characteristics, features of gait, speech, and when you are alone at home, try to remember all your comments and write them down on a piece of paper. Another suggestion from psychologists is watching TV shows with the sound turned off. After a few hours of such training, experts say, you can accurately predict the state of mind of another person - by facial expressions, gestures, and gaze.

By the way, only recently scientists made an interesting discovery. With increased interest, the pupils of the interlocutor’s eyes begin to dilate. But attentive Arabs have known about this peculiarity of pupil reaction for several centuries. Therefore, it is no coincidence, anthropologists say, that Yasser Arafat wears dark glasses.

Completely unclassified
Pullman luxury cars are famous all over the world. Few will remember another surname standing next to George Pullman - Andrew Carnegie, the king of steel. Meanwhile, he once suggested that Pullman merge the companies. To which George did not agree for a long time. Only when Carnegie assured that the new enterprise would be called the Pullman Luxury Car Company did Pullman favorably agree to his competitor's proposal. This rule - to be able to use a person's name for business - helped Carnegie out more than once. And he made the discovery that people attach great importance to their name in early childhood. Then Andrew asked his peers to find food for their many rabbits. He undertook to give the names of those who were especially successful to the baby rabbits.

Principle five.

DRESS ACCORDING TO THE SITUATION

At the same time, you constantly have to choose between desire and necessity, fantasy and generally accepted fashion.

Prominent American image maker Mary Spillane says that in business it is too risky to follow only a traditional or progressive image. For supporters of a conservative style, she recommends, for example, to show up at work in knitted ensembles of various colors (dress and jacket or skirt and jacket) for variety.

The image maker advises employees of the young company to be more selective in their clothing. They need to look confident and stable, so they should give up too short skirts, inappropriate jewelry, chic shoes - in a business setting, all these things irritate their interlocutors.

Women who run their own companies need to appear authoritative. They need to wear jackets every day, no matter the time of year.

Completely unclassified
Once a year, high society Parisians are invited to a dinner party attended by the city's elite. For this important event, Parisians are required to dress in all white from head to toe, take with them a bridge table, a white napkin, two white chairs, a bottle of red wine and a light snack. The invitees meet in a secret place and travel in a direction known only to the five organizers of the holiday.

At the races, whether at Ascot in Britain or in France for the Diana Prize held by Hermes, it is customary to appear in an extravagant hat.

But at the ball there are ladies without a headdress, but in a chic ball gown, expensive jewelry, ball rag shoes with a small stiletto heel and a pointed toe, in ball gloves and with a tiny elegant ball handbag. During dinner, the buttons on the gloves are undone at the wrist, they are carefully removed and placed in the form of a cuff around the wrist.