How to approach a guy by correspondence. How to please a guy via pen pal on the Internet? Resume communication after a long pause

Do you like talking to guys, but sometimes you get lost and don't know what to talk to them about? We have tips for all occasions, they will help you choose the right topic and become an ideal interlocutor!

Any relationship—friendship, love, work—is, first of all, communication. Girls usually find each other easily mutual language, even very different people have common ground.

But with the opposite sex, the situation is not so smooth and the question of what to talk about with a guy worries even skilled interlocutors from time to time, and looking for an answer to it can be vital.

What can you talk about with a guy?

The choice of topics will depend on the degree of your acquaintance, the situation, the mood, the area of interest and the level of intelligence of the interlocutors.

Believe me, even a girl with angelic patience cannot stand a three-hour lecture on the merits of different motor oils or a heart-warming story about how he independently repaired his neighbor’s computer.

The conversation should be interesting for all participants in the conversation, only then will it serve as a good basis for further communication.

Modern technologies offer great opportunities for communication, in addition to personal meetings, which, fortunately, still occur, you can chat on the phone or Skype, establish correspondence on social networks or through numerous special programs.

This virtual conversation has its merits. Which?

By correspondence in VK

In the online world, being the first to speak can be much easier than in the real world; sometimes it’s enough to write: “Hello” or puzzle him with more original phrases.

In addition, his page will help you get a first impression of a person, based on which you can make sample list common interests or even abandon the idea of chatting with such a man.

There are several win-win topics that you can talk about with a guy on VK:

Movies, which come out with enviable popularity, cover various genres and differ in the level of performance. You can discuss the plot, the acting, Interesting Facts, not to mention personal impressions. In the process of reviewing her favorite films, a girl will be able to learn a lot about the guy she’s interested in, right down to female type which he prefers.
Music- another inexhaustible topic, even if the predilections of the parties do not coincide at all. This is a great chance to discover something new for each of the interlocutors and better understand the inner world of your opponent.

The beauty of communicating on VKontakte and Odnoklassniki, as well as in other social networks, is that it is possible to illustrate what has been said with the right clip, track or film right in the conversation.

When communicating on the Internet, it is very convenient to talk about travel, showing your own photographs from trips or pictures of places that the narrator only dreams of visiting.

Narration with visual material much richer and more interesting than simple presentation. If the topic of travel is interesting to both, you can arrange a correspondence excursion, having previously collected information about the place you like, then the time spent communicating will be memorable and informative, and there will be something to remember about it.

Photographs can also decorate a story about childhood and adolescence, which is often accompanied by funny stories, funny pictures or links to the pages of old friends - participants in the described action.

Returning to pleasant memories helps establish trusting relationship between interlocutors and expand their knowledge about each other. The main thing is that both interlocutors have the opportunity to speak.

When communicating on Skype, the range of possibilities is even greater. Thanks to webcams and microphones, you can see and hear each other, which significantly enriches the emotional component of the conversation and helps you get to know your interlocutor better.

Only the main topics for conversation were listed, there are an unimaginable variety of them; getting to know the guy more closely will help you choose the right ones.

Although the Internet is everything to us, not a single service can surpass communication while walking around the city. What makes it different?

When you're walking

All previous topics can be safely included in the meeting program. But walking together gives more space.

Here you can be distracted by what is happening on the street:

discuss the architecture of the city;
the best and most favorite places to relax;
delve into the history of your native city or dream about what it will look like in a hundred years;
invent stories about passers-by or about objects that catch your eye;
arrange a comic excursion or “trip to places of former glory.” The main thing in such conversations is good feeling humor, willingness to experiment and imagination.

Believe me, an evening spent in this way will remain in pleasant memories for a long time.

Which one do you like?

If you like a young man, your task is to show yourself as a good conversationalist.

To please him, you must listen carefully, encourage your chosen one, react emotionally to his words, laugh in the right places, and encourage him with compliments.

A man will appreciate your sociability, friendliness and will not object to further communication. And from such conversations you learn more about the person you like.

But if the guy is too carried away, and the topic is so boring for you that it turns your cheekbones, tactfully turn the conversation in a different direction: even unearthly love not worth such sacrifices.

By phone. Topics for conversation

Before you start calling your guy, remember what psychologists say about men’s attitude towards telephone conversations.

Among the brutal half of humanity, there are sadly few individuals who like to chat on the phone about everything and nothing; they are more inclined to receive specific information and switch off as quickly as possible.

You can fix the situation:

If you convey information in simple sentences, unburdened by metaphors and epithets.
The topic should be terribly interesting to the interlocutor and the purpose of the conversation should be communicated at the beginning so that the guy does not get lost in the flow of your speech.

Here is a list of questions that will clearly interest him:

how I introduced a virus into your computer,
What tree did I crash your car against?
why did you wash the jersey with the autograph of the only normal player of the Russian national team, etc.

The reasons may not be so catastrophic, but the essence is clear - it’s not worth bothering a guy over trifles through telephone conversations, unless he calls 40 times a day and is interested in your every move, but even here it’s better to give the initiative into his hands, and it’s cheaper.

But this applies more to people who have already been communicating for some time or are even in a long-term serious relationship.

But those girls who are just going on a first date have to think about not only their wardrobe, but also outline the milestones of the upcoming conversation so that the communication does not end as soon as it begins.

At the first meeting

The first date is like a minefield, so it’s better to let the guy go ahead and give him the opportunity to speak out, tell him everything he considers necessary about himself, skillfully guiding him with questions.

But going into lengthy excursions into your own biography with an emphasis on particularly juicy details is absolutely unnecessary.

There must be a mystery in a woman, so when you answer too frank questions from a curious interlocutor, smile meaningfully, divide the number of exes by 2, subtract 10 and answer vaguely - several.

On a first date, it is important to find something in common with a stranger, and this is what you need to unobtrusively strive for. You should not discuss topics that you do not understand, this will only make your smart opponent laugh and put you in an unfavorable light.

But a girl shouldn’t flaunt her knowledge too much; our guys don’t like being pressured by their intellect.

If we continue to go by the opposite and talk about what shouldn’t be done, then it’s worth putting a taboo on:

gossip and unflattering reviews about other people, talking about other people's shortcomings, we only stick out our own more clearly.
It’s better to forget about your problems on the first date; if everything works out and you start dating, he will still have time to enjoy them to the fullest.
ignore information that is obviously uninteresting to him and give him the opportunity to also participate in the conversation so that it does not turn out to be a one-man show for a limited audience.

As you can see, first meetings require careful filtering of the text. But such a reverent attitude may also require communication with a loved one who pays his debt to the Motherland.

who is in the army

Military service is a rather difficult period in life. young man. The girl’s duty is to support him and help him survive this moment. We need to ask him more about his service, his comrades, and the events of his army life, because at this stage this is his main environment.

The girl, for her part, can tell about her affairs and events in the lives of mutual friends.

It is clear that it is difficult for a young lady of 16-17 years old to sit at home, but it is up to her to talk about her entertainment or not; it completely depends on the level of trust that exists in the couple.

Sample topics for communication:

In general, communication at a distance gives relationships greater sublimity and allows one to reveal hitherto unknown depths in a person.

Breaking up is an excellent test of the strength of a relationship, so the success of communication largely determines the future fate of the couple.

Many relationships end sooner or later, but this does not mean that you cannot at least sometimes remember the past and talk with a person from your past.

With ex

They say it traditionally begins after the second glass of wine. Although no one is safe from meeting on the bus either.

And in such a situation, it can be difficult to figure out what to talk about with your ex:

There is little that connects you anymore, so it is best to limit yourself to light conversation about business, nature and the weather.
Sincere and unobtrusive interest, praise for successes, sympathy for small failures - all this will help maintain a pleasant feeling from the meeting.
You should not touch on the topics of past grievances and claims; as a last resort, you can dwell on joyful moments and thank you for the good things that happened between you.

By SMS

When it comes to men, texting should be a last resort. Well, with rare exceptions, they don’t like to poke at phone buttons. Considering the size of the fingers and the grace of movements, for many this work is akin to jewelry.

Yes, and the constant jingling of the phone, indicating that another message has arrived from the honey, will please only a madly in love guy, languidly sighing for the object of passion for days on end, lying on the sofa, but a working man will rather irritate and irritate.

So SMS messages should be short, meaningful, as informative as possible and preferably rare. Perhaps from a tender wish good day or pleasant dreams no one will refuse.

What to talk about with a stranger

Even with a stranger you can find a common language; a lot depends on the circumstances under which the conversation takes place.

With a travel companion It's appropriate to talk about travel.
When chatting or in an agent you can touch on the topic of personal preferences and interests, goals of communication and finding new friends.
In the museum It’s worth asking about the exhibit or getting an impression of the exhibition.

Often it is not even the topic that is important, but the mood of the interlocutor. To set him up for a conversation, you can give him a small compliment or make a minor request.

It has been proven that the person who has provided assistance is more inclined to communicate with the benefited object.

Communicate, expand your circle of acquaintances, discover new people, this will help you become an interesting and desirable interlocutor. And don't be afraid to talk to guys, if you're right for each other, you'll find something to talk about.

Video: What not to talk about on the first date

Friendship is, of course, a good thing. But, if people just want to communicate, there is usually nothing stopping them. And all communication is easy and free. But in the case of the continuation and development of relationships, this is a separate issue and requires clarity.

To begin with, if you really like this guy, it won’t hurt to take a little interest in his page. It will help you understand what he loves and what he will not tolerate; here you can read information about his interests, hobbies and understand what is an integral part of his life. Usually there is plenty of such information, so by paying attention, you can get a general idea about it. But do not forget that sometimes not everyone is honest and the information may be unreliable. So, it’s much easier for a guy to like you via correspondence on VK if you find out his interests and hobbies.

If the page contains a fake photo or no information at all, it may be a shy and shy person. But the situation is worse with a person who leaves a huge number of all kinds of comments and descriptions - either a chatterbox or an attention seeker.

Photos too interesting source. For example, you can clearly see how proud a man is. Some girls absolutely do not like this. After all, you need to love them, not yourself.

How to get a guy to like you through correspondence on VK: filling out your own page correctly

And finally, the most important point is your own page, which needs to be set up for further communication. Some people make a lot of mistakes, because guys are not happy with the capricious childish things that girls usually use. Not everyone will decide to start communicating with a whiny person who shows her emotions and desires in everything and everywhere. If you definitely decide to like him, you need to pull yourself together.

Information about common interests is the first thing that will attract attention. You should not fill the page with free photos. Not everyone likes it. And if it attracts attention, then a biased attitude is guaranteed.

How to please a pen pal: what to write

The beginning of communication can be a common hobby or a request for help. But banal phrases should be avoided; it will not make you stand out from the crowd and will not make an impression. If there is an age difference, it is better to start by addressing you as “you.” It will be easier this way, especially if you didn’t know each other. And we never, under any circumstances, make mistakes in the text! It’s permissible for a guy, but a girl can’t make mistakes.

Of course, it can be difficult to interest a guy. Alternatively, if he is into cars, you can talk about transmissions, gearboxes and much more. But is the girl ready to study the technical characteristics of the car? And is it worth it? It's up to you to decide for yourself.

In general, if the first communication session leads to the second, this is already a good sign. A , good attitude can't achieve it. From the very beginning, you can already understand whether a person is worth the worry and waiting for an answer, or whether he is simply spoiled by the attention of the female sex and has no shortage of girls.

A serious relationship can be planned only in one case - if both parties are interested in communicating. And the girl doesn’t have to constantly remind herself. Sometimes it’s better to look for another guy who, just by looking at the photo, will take everything into his own hands.

Communication with new people is certainly a very exciting thing; it gives strength, inspiration and self-confidence. But what to do when there is no opportunity to look your interlocutor in the eyes, touch, or communicate with facial expressions and gestures? And the situation becomes even more difficult when the guy you like has to write.

It seems that for men everything is so simple: if you like a girl, approach her or write to her, meet her, invite her to meet. But such a step from a woman is perceived ambiguously. Reminds me of something? Is it really grandma's advice? Then the time has come to abandon all prejudices and take the initiative.

Starting to make acquaintances on opposite sides of the screen is not an easy task, and it is especially difficult for a girl to decide on it. When scrolling through profiles on VKontakte, Facebook or classmates, you don’t feel awkward. But writing is already a personal contact, because of which you easily begin to worry. Thoughts are racing, hands are shaking, and all smart words immediately fly out of your head. In such a situation, you should immediately pull yourself together and act wisely.

Don't be afraid to be first. No matter what society says, you do not live in the 19th century and the etiquette of communication between a man and a woman has long gone beyond the standards of Tatyana Larina. If she has made up her mind, then you will be even more lucky. Be the first to start communicating. Don’t put on airs or belittle yourself, but don’t demonstrate your obvious interest in the guy’s person. If you wrote to him, this is already a sufficient demonstration of interest.
Communicate freely. Don’t try to please him in everything and support topics that are not interesting to you. You are an individual, and you have your own opinion on every issue, do not be afraid to express it - of course, within the bounds of decency.
Don't overdo it with pauses. When the conversation has already started and lasted for some time, do not pause “for intrigue” or just to see how quickly he will write to you. No, this is not a reason to impose yourself, roll sheets of text and hang online around the clock. But you shouldn’t ignore it just yet.
Be careful with questions. Communication between two unfamiliar people is like a two-way interview - through the right questions you can learn a lot of new things about a person. But don’t overdo it: questions that are too personal, intimate, or for some reason unpleasant for a guy will not cause his delight. If he clearly doesn't want to answer, steer the conversation away, even if the answer is important to you. You will receive it later. Try not to embarrass both of you by asking inappropriate personal questions.

VK, Odnoklassniki and other social networks. Action strategy

Modern social networks, where almost everyone has a profile with interests and a whole portfolio of photographs, make the task of starting communication much easier. What to do if you find a guy online and want to start a conversation with him? Where to begin?

Firstly, do not rush to immediately write to him “in a personal message” and ask a lot of stupid questions. If his profile clearly states “I live in Krasnoyarsk” or “I love fishing,” there is no need to ask about his place of residence and interests. If you didn't even bother to read the open information of the profile, how strong will the guy seem to be interested in you? Obviously, this will not please him.
Secondly, it is not necessary to start acquaintance “head-on”. By sending him a message, little can be changed, and you won’t be able to make the first impression again. Look at his page, put a couple of likes if you are watching via VK, or even leave a comment - not personal, but on the topic of the post or photo. And then wait at least half a day for a reaction. Perhaps he himself will become interested in the mysterious stranger? If he is “actively searching,” then this option is possible. Well, if not, proceed to more decisive actions.

It’s not for nothing that they say that the beginning is half the battle. The hardest thing is to take the first step.

To understand how a guy will react, put yourself in his shoes.

How often do you receive messages like “Hi! How are you?" from strangers? Surely this happens at least regularly. An unwavering hand sends such messages to spam/blacklist/trash bin (underline as appropriate). And you’re not always in the mood to chat with yet another person bored on the Internet. How to be not just another obsessive fan, but an interesting interlocutor who will at least want to respond?

Start with something non-trivial. No, this does not mean at all that you need to describe the color of your underwear or start a conversation as if you had been communicating for half your life. First, think about what unites you. Perhaps it’s travel, some favorite places, hobbies, outlook on life? Then you can start like this:

Or the simplest:

"Hello! Judging by the photo, you really like to walk in the park. Me too! Let's exchange information about our favorite places?

The main thing is that you shouldn’t lie, except maybe be a little disingenuous. If you write about common interests, they must exist, otherwise you simply will not be able to carry on a conversation. Genuine interest or a polite request for help will be understood and will guarantee a response. The first bridge will be thrown, and then you can develop any topics you like. The main thing is not to focus on just one of them and move the conversation forward.

What if SMS?

Dating is possible not only on the Internet, Cell phones give us no less range of possibilities.

Calling a stranger without doing anything is unsightly - after all, he may be busy, or perhaps simply not interested in the conversation. In this case, the solution is SMS.

To make acquaintances through text messaging, and most importantly, to get the guy to answer you, you can choose one of these strategies.

“I'm on business!” If you have already decided to take the initiative, then show it to the bitter end, that is, until the desired call and date with the guy. Making an appointment is actually easier than you think! You can start the conversation with a purely business question. For example, like this:

“Rita Derzhavina said that you can help me with the dog. When can I call you?" At first glance, it’s not clear, but the SMS was sent on business - you need help, he doesn’t understand what exactly, but your mutual friend Rita (Masha, Valya, Petya - the main thing is that this person really exists and really is your mutual friend) I exiled him, which means I can’t do without him! He will at least answer to find out who you are and what’s wrong. And if it turns out later that you need help walking huge dog, whom the neighbors left for the weekend, he will most likely agree.

By the way, walking dogs is much more interesting than repairing other people's computers or screwing in light bulbs - so choose the most attractive prospect for him. By the way, the dog should be as real as Rita.

"Random error". Playing the mistake is an option with a guarantee of success, because a correctly formulated SMS can both intrigue and alert you - the guy will at least answer, and maybe call back.

You can send a message like: “So today at 6 in the park - everything is in force?” or “Can you do what we talked about tomorrow?” If there is no answer for a long time, you can try again (but only once!) by writing a clarification: “Clarify, yes - or have your plans changed?”, “Please answer, I need to know today.” A polite person will at least call back to clarify the situation and report any confusion. Well, starting a conversation after an apology and the phrase “I think I know your voice, is your name Andrei by any chance?” will be as easy as shelling pears.

Typical mistakes. How not to spoil the whole effect?

Often we ourselves spoil everything that we have achieved with such difficulty, and even fragile relationships of a fresh acquaintance can be destroyed due to a ridiculous mistake. How to maintain contact and not do anything stupid? What can and cannot be discussed in correspondence?

It’s easy to avoid mistakes if you always follow certain rules of communication.

Don't be shy and don't withdraw into yourself. Being modest is, of course, good, but it works mainly in personal communication. During correspondence, do not hesitate to resume the dialogue and keep the conversation going with questions. If you don’t do this, the guy will think that your interest has exhausted, and it will also become unclear why you started the dialogue in the first place. It is very easy to get misunderstanding instead of the desired effect.
Don't scold him for late answers. People have and real life, perhaps there is something more important in it than idle chatter on the Internet. In addition to loved ones, there is also work, household chores, and leisure. A person cannot spend 24 hours a day online, so don’t be embarrassed by the fact that he responds with some delay. The main thing is that he answers.
Be polite. Saying hello, thanking you for the time spent together (even virtually) or for your frankness is also an art. You probably don't want to interact with a boor, so behave yourself.
Do not worry. If he doesn’t answer you for a whole thirty minutes, but at the same time he’s online and read your message, this doesn’t mean that the world has collapsed and he doesn’t like you! Perhaps he was distracted, perhaps he simply did not notice the message or is thinking about a response. Don’t be scared and don’t give him “sheets” of text. Wait until he breaks this pause himself.
Don't use swear words. Firstly, it doesn’t suit girls, and secondly, they indicate the general level of your culture. No one is saying that it is necessary to impose a lifelong taboo on strong words - but there is no point in demonstrating vulgar language and bad upbringing.
Write correctly. Reading a text with a bunch of errors is not only unpleasant, but also difficult. Do you remember the famous phrase “Execution cannot be pardoned”? After all, the interlocutor does not hear your intonation, does not see your eyes, all he has is the text, and from it he will not be able to understand what you meant. Moreover, even the most profound thoughts expressed with spelling errors cannot be taken seriously. If the author is so stupid that he has not mastered spelling, is it worth listening to him? Do not overuse exclamation marks and ellipses. They won't talk about what a sensual and emotional girl you are. Usually they only mean that the author could not master the rules of punctuation. A competent text is both a pleasant impression and respect for the interlocutor. Try to put your emotions into words, not emoticons, and re-read messages before sending. The word is not a sparrow, especially the printed word.

So, contact has been established, messages are flowing like a river, and you have already gotten to know each other better. Are you still waiting for him to ask you out? Why not do it first? After all, it was you who initiated the acquaintance, and the guy wants to find out from you what you were striving for. Was it light flirting on the Internet or did you have no one to talk to heart to heart? Or did you really like this person, and after communicating with him you began to understand this more clearly? If you choose the last point, who take a step forward.

How to invite a pen pal on a date?

By text. In the most direct text possible. Write that you want to meet and tell us why. Perhaps you can come up with a suitable reason? Should we go to a play or a skating rink together, play football or take a walk in the autumn park that you both love so much? If it’s still too scary to signal a date, and you’re not sure of success, don’t talk about the meeting as a date. Say that you are looking for company, and since you both love to do this and that, why don’t you join forces? We are sure that he will appreciate this step and virtual acquaintance will very soon become real.

The modern world is a world of new technologies, the Internet and virtual life. Young people and others spend almost all their free time in front of computer monitors, studying, self-development and, of course, communicating with friends and new people.

Learning to communicate with a guy on the Internet

Almost any person in modern society cannot imagine their life without technical innovations. Thanks to the World Wide Web, young people are opening up new horizons of knowledge, so how can they do without communication? Finding old friends who live thousands of kilometers away is not a problem now, but finding new ones based on your interests and more is even easier.

It is not surprising that girls who want to find a soul mate ask questions similar to “how to please a pen pal on the Internet?” or “how to please a pen pal on VKontakte?” Popular social networks and dating sites only help you find each other, but you have to do everything else yourself.

Here are some basic tips for young ladies who want to know how to please a guy on the Internet:

You shouldn't wear a mask. It’s better to immediately show yourself as you are. This will at least be fair to the young man. It’s better that he falls in love with a real Internet interlocutor than with a person she made up.

You need to take the first step! It is worth discarding all stereotypes that claim that a man should make the first step. In a world of gender equality, the stronger half also wants to relax and surrender to the hands of a woman. Especially when virtual acquaintance is already complete. Writing a few words to the guy you like and asking how he is doing is not at all difficult, but this way he will know that they are interested in him, and this will flatter him. Otherwise, how will a pen pal on VK like his interlocutor if she does not show the slightest initiative?

It’s better to forget about long pauses during correspondence. You should not take long breaks while communicating online. If you need to go somewhere, for example, to eat or go to the shower, it is better to warn young man so that he does not wait an hour for an answer, looking at the monitor screen. This is how respect is shown. Also, do not hesitate to answer for more than a few minutes. It may seem to the interlocutor that the girl is simply not interested in talking to him.

A girl, following these rules, can go on a date with a young man, as the guy will like him on the Internet and will simply charm him with her openness and unobtrusiveness.

Advice for girls who want to know how to please a guy via correspondence on VK or another social network is the saying: the word is not a sparrow, if it flies out, you won’t catch it. Therefore, once a message is written and the “send” button is pressed, there is no turning back. What is written will definitely reach the addressee.

Virtual Communication Etiquette

Virtual communication is very addictive, but it also adds hassle when a girl pursues the goal of pleasing her chosen one. After all, from a photograph you won’t look into his eyes, you won’t give him a smile, and even more so you won’t accidentally touch his hand.

Internet etiquette is necessary to know, especially since it is not at all complicated.

So, you should pay attention to your literacy. If she is noticeably lame, then it is better to double-check your messages for errors. But usually the system automatically does this itself and highlights incorrectly written words with a red line. It's worth paying attention to this.

It is also better to avoid profanity and various “words” that are not appropriate for a girl. Don't look uncultured and rude. This rule should not be forgotten during real communication, if it occurs.

As for questions to a young man, you should ask them carefully. If he doesn’t want to talk about a certain topic, then you shouldn’t put pressure on him. Of course, you want to know everything about him, but it’s better not to show it. If you are interested in his opinion about something specific, then you can tell a story about your friends or just make it up, and at the end ask what he thinks about it or just wait for him to “comment.” You should be especially careful when asking questions about it. former relationship. A girl who wants to know how to please a guy via correspondence on VK or another communication site should also not talk about her personal past. If the topic comes up, then it’s better to unsubscribe about your ex-boyfriend as indifferently as possible, without criticizing him (even though in your heart you want to pour a bucket of dirt on such a goat!), if the Internet interlocutor is not stupid, he himself will figure out who is right, but who is guilty.

And of course, you need to be polite, don’t skimp on words like “thank you,” “please,” and so on. You should also accept his compliments with dignity and not be complex, and also not seem smarter than him, even if this is the case! Otherwise, how will a guy like this or that girl on VK? You just have to follow all these rules, and then the young man’s choice will become obvious.

Everyone knows that guys love with their eyes. So a few good photos won't hurt. Only without vulgar and revealing poses and outfits! It is also better to delete photographs of yourself smoking or drinking a bottle of beer, even if such habits occur in life. It is better to present all negative aspects about yourself gradually, focusing on your merits.

You should not impose your communication. If a young man has disappeared, there is no need to bombard him with messages about what happened. Perhaps he has problems at work or he had to leave urgently. Or maybe he just decided to take a break from the virtual world. If all the listed rules and tips are followed, then sooner or later he will appear on the Internet horizon.