Why does the child not want to go to school. Problems of our children: lack of interest in learning, bad habits, speech development difficulties: parents ask
It is possible to single out a group of questions concerning the motivation of the child. Both parents and teachers are interested in the question of how to form the motivation to study, how to develop the child's desire to study as best as possible, how to explain to the student why they need to study.
What is motivation and why is it so important? If we turn to dictionaries, we will find the definition of " motivation - it is a set of internal and external driving forces that impel a person to act in a specific, purposeful way.
Why is it so important to develop motivation for learning? There is a famous phrase, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." So it is in education. We can bring the child to school, we can give him everything he needs, but we cannot force him to do it.
A person performs any action when there is a need for it, when there is a motive, desire, need to get something. So it is in education. Only when the child needs to learn will he learn. That's what it is - the desire to learn. And it occurs when the child has a need. Moreover, this need can be both internal and external.
Unfortunately, today many children have no desire to learn. The child does not have developed cognitive interests, therefore, there is no need to study. Why is it so?
Think about how many toys your child has. This is a lot of cars, designers for boys or a variety of dolls, doll houses, strollers for girls. Toys have nowhere to put, and we buy more and more new ones. What is wrong with this and what is the motivation here? It seems that there is no direct relationship, but in fact the child is used to getting everything ready-made and he did not have to invent something, do it himself.
Now many grandmothers say that there were no developmental courses before, but the children studied with interest. But after all, there were not so many toys.
Some toys were bought for children, and what they did not have, they invented themselves. It was possible to make a gun from a broken branch, dolls from a flower or cardboard, we drew clothes for a doll and cut them out of paper. There was a need to invent and do something on their own. Now this is not. Even when assembling the constructor, many children do it strictly according to the scheme, as it is drawn and the thought of changing something and doing it differently does not even appear to them.
Initially, we teach the child to receive everything ready-made, which does not contribute in any way. After all, in the process of studying, one must not only gain knowledge, but also independently seek answers to questions, develop certain skills, and work.
There is another side. We can teach a child certain skills using some special exercises. Any musician begins with playing scales and etudes. An athlete develops his abilities through training. Unfortunately, there are simply no special exercises that would form motivation for learning. Many psychologists have worked and continue to work on this problem, but there is still a lot of unknown in the formation of learning motivation. Perhaps in the near future, scientists will find answers to their questions, but we need it now. We want our children to want to learn and learn as best they can. How to achieve this?
There is no pill that would develop learning motivation. There are no exercises that form motivation for learning. But there are conditions under which school motivation will begin to take shape. If parents in the family adhere to certain rules, take these conditions into account, then learning motivation will gradually form and the child will understand why he is studying. And then the question "Why do I need this?" will fall off by itself. Here are the conditions.
- Give your child enough independence. Help only when the child asks for help. It is important to note that independence is manifested in the ability to set life tasks and solve them. And you can successfully solve the problem if you correctly draw up a work plan and follow it. Therefore, we need to teach the child to plan his actions and follow this plan. A simple example. Make an execution plan homework and watch your child do it. First, it is better to hang the plan in a prominent place so that the child does not forget the stages of work, and then remove it. And drawing up a work plan is useful not only in learning activities. Before you start cleaning the room, plan out what and how you will do, and only then get to work. This can be done with preschoolers as well.
- Be interested not in the child's grades, but in what they studied at school. Try to show the practical application of this knowledge. Encourage your child to think and discuss as often as possible. Why does the shirt get wet, but the jacket does not? Why does the snow creak, but the asphalt does not? Does the driver need to know how to calculate speed or distance? Set challenging tasks for your child. Children say that you do not need to know the multiplication table, because. there is a calculator. And if the electricity goes out, how will you count? And if you go to the market where there are no calculators, how do you calculate how much you have to pay? When a child understands what he is learning and why, then learning is easier.
- Praise for mistakes and teach them to look for ways to correct them. In pursuit of good grades, we, without knowing it, form in children the fear of making mistakes. And often a little schoolboy does not do the work precisely because he is afraid of doing something wrong. To prevent this from happening, we need to make it clear to the child that the one who does nothing is not mistaken. And do not scold for mistakes, but teach them to correct. My son made a lot of mistakes in his math notebook. From the fact that we will scold him, we will punish him, we will not let him walk, mistakes will not decrease. But if we analyze these mistakes, work on them, then next time the work will be much better. The child brought mistakes - well, let's think about what to do to fix them.
- Use "gingerbread" more often. The main method of education is the "carrot and stick method". We punish if something is bad and praise if everything is good. Unfortunately, at the learning stage, more often than not something is not good enough and, accordingly, the "stick" is used more than the "carrot". And why should a child try if they will scold again? But if you praise the child even for the smallest thing, then he will have a desire to do even better. Therefore, more often look for the good, something for which you can praise.
Observing these conditions in your family, you will help the child, form his learning motivation. And this must begin even before school, because the formation of motivation is a long process. In addition, according to Doctor of Psychology Katerina Polivanova, educational motivation is formed in elementary school, but in middle and high school, other motives work.
How to arouse children's interest in learning, get rid of bad habits and about the development of speech in children - the psychologist-defectologist of the children's clinical diagnostic center MEDSI II Yulia Borisovna Zhikhareva answers your questions
Learning and interest in learning
1. The child is 8 years old. No desire to learn. How to overcome it?
As a rule, the child has no desire to learn if it is difficult and difficult for him. First of all, we must try to solve the difficulties of teaching in certain subjects. If persistent difficulties with the Russian language, you need to contact a speech therapist to test for dysgraphia. On the other hand, we must try to turn the completion of the lessons into a pleasant and easier activity, to increase interest in educational matters, it is useful to think and come up with a funny and pleasant environment for studying (interesting, beautiful eraser pens, chic sneakers / shoes to school, etc. ). Watch your reactions in relation to the lessons - not: "Well, what did they ask you there?", But "What interesting things await us there?"
2. How to instill in a child (13 years old) a love of reading. Absolutely no interest in books. Only computer. How to get interested?
Lead by example effectively. If the child sees with what pleasure and interest you read, he may also want to. You can think about something else: is it too late to teach reading at the age of 13? He begins the age of self-determination, when there is an active resistance to any habituation. "The new generation chooses..."
3. Is it necessary to force a child to go to sections and circles, if at first he "lights up", looks like a little and doesn't want to anymore?
This depends on the age of the child. Up to 10-12 years old, such behavior of "enumeration" of options, I think, is acceptable. But it is worth orienting the child to 1 permanent section / studio for 1 academic year.
4. The child is restless, overly emotional, infantile, studies suffer. Is there any point in home schooling or correction?
If you mean transferring a child to home schooling, then a very serious reason is needed for such a transfer - a complete impossibility to receive and assimilate knowledge in the classroom. When this impossibility is incomplete, then they talk about a partial transfer to home schooling, so as not to completely protect the child from children's society (the child attends part of the lessons at school on some days, part of the lessons takes place at home). Correction of any mental difficulties is needed in any case.
5. Daughters 9 years old. The memory is good, but there is no perseverance - because of this, there are problems at school. What to do?
If perseverance is not enough at home when doing homework, then some rules will help:
Start doing homework after a period of rest from school,
Start with an easy one, then a difficult one, then an easier one again,
Take short breaks every 15-20 minutes
Help with difficult lessons
Maintain a positive emotional atmosphere during the lessons: be sure to praise (not even for the result, but for diligence, attentiveness and perseverance).
If you have problems with perseverance at school, then here you can only try to talk with the teacher in order to develop an individual approach and help your daughter.
6. The child is 6.5 years old, goes to the 1st grade, but does not want to study. Maybe he's not ready for school yet?
Indeed, readiness for school includes motivational readiness, i.e. desire to learn, knowledge of what it is for. The child must "win back", because games develop a lot of useful things: attention and perseverance, the ability to interact with others, all mental properties. I do not support the desire of parents to send their child to grade 1 at 6 years old. It is early, and, indeed, "not ripe." But we will not return to kindergarten, so we develop further: turn the lessons into interesting activity and the game, interest the child, continue to play games with him in your free time (games by the rules are especially good: lotto, dominoes, checkers, even "Cossack robbers"!).
7. What should be done to make the child want to study? We are 10 years old - 4th grade, did not want to go to school from the 1st grade, and now even more so do not want to. I explain every morning that this is important for every person. The son says that he is not interested there, it's boring and he doesn't need it at all. What is needed, he does not know. She has been going to music school for 2 years now and wants to quit, I try to persuade her every day that she needs it, it will come in handy later. In general, he never brings the matter to the end, quits when difficulties arise.
Your son has no educational motivation. Your persuasion does not form it. I can assume that you are a very active person, and then this activity can extinguish the child's own activity.
At the end of the school year it is difficult, but next year try to find a section or studio that is INTERESTING FOR HIM, because any interesting activity will stimulate interest in another, in school.
Talk about professions that do not require education, look at people, how they work and look. Get to know your work. Treat new tasks and lessons as something new and interesting. Try to make doing homework and going to school more interesting and enjoyable: buy spectacular accessories, sweeten with candy, praise and rejoice at any achievement and especially effort (it’s okay if you exaggerate a little). Develop perseverance and arbitrariness of behavior in games by the rules (checkers, lotto, etc.).
Speech development
1. My daughter is 3 years old, she speaks very badly. Should I start taking her to a speech therapist?
Yes! It is necessary, first of all, to come for a consultation with a speech therapist, who will make a conclusion: what and why? After that, you will discuss with the speech pathologist the question of the need for speech therapy classes.
2. My daughter is 4.5 years old. He constantly says: "I did, I walked", in short, he confuses the feminine and masculine.
Your daughter has not formed the agreement of words in gender and case. Perhaps this is one of the symptoms of another holistic picture. Consult with a speech therapist. You will probably need speech therapy. At home, every time you hear an incorrect agreement of words, immediately give the correct option. Children often automatically repeat correctly, if not, it’s worth hinting that you really want to hear.
3. My daughter is five years old. She pronounces the sound "r" only at the beginning of the word. This is fine? If not, what to do?
I think that my daughter began to master the pronunciation of the sound R (at the age of 5 this is normal) - this is easier to do at the beginning of words. Help her move on and start pronouncing the words syllable by syllable, where the R sound is at the end of the word, in the middle. Special speech therapy notebooks for the sound R can help you, study them with your daughter.
4. The girl is 7 months old, does not want to pronounce syllables. How to help her?
Watch yourself and your behavior: if a girl stays alone in a crib or playpen for a long time, if you are taciturn and speak little, then this may well be without speech pathology, with the possibilities of normal development. Then: carry the child around with you all the time so that he is in your company and constantly “talk” with him, saying aloud everything that you do, naming all the objects that fall into the field of view of the child. Sing songs, tell and make "amusements", such as "Ladushki" and "Goat", seeking an emotional response from the child (she should look and smile in response, complete some movements herself). If there is no response, go for a consultation with a pediatric neurologist.
5. My daughter will be 5 years old in June. Does not pronounce r, w, sometimes z. Is it time for a speech pathologist?
Usually, classes in the correction of sound pronunciation begin at the age of 5, and by the age of 7 the work should be completed. Strictly speaking, you still have time. I think it is quite possible to start studying from the beginning of the school year.
6. My son is 11 years old. How to teach him to write correctly?
If the mistakes are very awkward "from inattention", then testing by a speech therapist is mandatory. This may be dysgraphia and a long-term and competent correction should be carried out. If this is ignorance of the rules, a Russian language teacher will help.
7. My son is 2 years old, he only says “mom”, “dad” and a few more words. Is it normal?
For about 2 years, as a speech therapist, I expect to hear the beginnings of phrasal speech appear (at least the simplest ones: "Mom, pip. Give me a drink", and the presence of at least a few words of a 2-complex syllabic structure (2 different syllables: words like aunt, aba - apple, fell) If this is not the case, then the quality of communication during the examination of a speech therapist, you can diagnose a delay speech development or a delay in the rate of speech development.
Bad habits
1. It's been a year since I noticed that my son (7 years old) is engaged in masturbation. I scolded him and scared him. And now the teacher noticed in the kindergarten, she told me, it was so embarrassing! But what to do? Who to contact? Please tell me!
You are correct to have consulted a psychologist. Masturbation refers to pathologically habitual actions. Scolding and scaring is really useless. One can only try to work out this issue - there should be an integrated approach to it: treatment by a psychiatrist and help from a psychologist.
From the point of view of psychology, it is impossible to stop this phenomenon by repressive methods, you can try to replace this negative stereotype with another, positive one:
Because the child already knows that doing this is bad, you need to agree with him that you will help him get rid of this habit, and he will help you with this.
Strengthen control and try not to give time and opportunity to do this,
Teach your son to put his hands and take his hands as "needed": put them in a "lock" when watching TV, put them under the cheek, under the pillow or on the blanket when falling asleep, take their hands with toys, safe food (it is useful to gnaw fruit and vegetables).
Remind your son not about what not to do, but about what you need to do: fold, hold, etc.
Increase emotional contact with your son, often express praise and approval to him.
2. What should I do if my child is tearing his hair? What are the reasons?
The age of the child is important, how much he can or cannot control himself, what emotions are observed at the same time. The reasons may be: the manifestation of obsessive actions, self-punishment in case of psychological or emotional distress. A psychologist or psychiatrist will help you understand this. If these are obsessive actions, then treatment by a psychiatrist and counseling by a psychologist on the topic "getting rid of the pathologically habitual actions of the child" is required. If this is self-punishment, then the psychologist should work not only with one child, but also with the parents to improve the psychological situation in the family.
3. My 4.5 year old son sleeps only with me or with his dad. How to wean?
This is what excitable or sensitive children do. At this age, the child may sleep alone, but then you will have to sit for some time when he falls asleep, so that your presence will help him calm down and relax. At the same time, he should have a pleasant and comfortable place for him to sleep. It is desirable that the son helps you in his arrangement, so that he himself makes himself an "adult" place to sleep, which he would like.
If it is categorically impossible now to teach a child to sleep alone, it means that he is not yet psychologically ready for this, he has not gained the confidence in himself and in those around him that a child needs for independent sleep. Then try to wait and after 2-3 months try again to accustom him to independent sleep.
4. How to wean a child from biting his nails (16 years old), started recently.
If the habit has appeared recently, then, for sure, now there is still an acute moment, and the cause of this obsession is still strong. Therefore, I recommend contacting a psychiatrist. Think about what provoked the occurrence of obsession, and try to eliminate the causes. It is necessary to agree with the girl that you will work TOGETHER and eradicate a bad habit, her desire and consent are required. Then discuss with your daughter how to prevent or replace nail biting: gnaw on something tasty and healthy (fruits, vegetables, seeds, etc.), if necessary, remind her of what SHOULD be done, without saying or reproaching that DO NOT.
In Russia, and throughout the world, parents often complain that the child does not want to study. Psychologist's advice on resolving this situation can help correct the situation. But only not every parent is ready to follow certain instructions. Most often, in practice, children are simply forced to learn in all ways, sometimes not entirely humane. It's clearly not worth it to do so. After all, each child needs to find an individual approach. And then it will be possible to achieve success in any endeavors. Teaching is no exception. So what if the children refuse and do not want to learn?
Emotionless
In fact, there is no clear answer. And you can't give it. Each child is an individual. Accordingly, in one case or another, the phenomenon under study will have its own motives. Hidden or obvious - it is not so important. The main thing is their presence.
What if the child does not want to study? The first piece of advice any psychologist will give is to stay calm. And assess the situation, analyze what is happening and the behavior of children without unnecessary emotions.
Often, the topic of study is perceived painfully by parents. You can hear exclamations: "How so, does not want to study? Yes, I told him ...". Further, as a rule, punishment or any other method of forcing the child to sit down for textbooks follows. It is noted that such behavior will not benefit. On the contrary, it will only hurt. For both parent and student.
Collection of information
Does your child not want to study? Psychologist's advice regarding this situation is often directed specifically to parents. Their behavior often determines how much children strive to acquire new knowledge.
Before sounding the alarm, as well as coming up with ways that could interest or force a minor to a more attentive and responsible attitude to learning, it is recommended to collect as much as possible more information about the life of a student. Even if parents think they already know everything. In practice, it usually turns out that this is not the case.
Why don't kids want to learn? The reasons may be different. And the more the parent learns about the child's life at school, about his feelings and experiences, the faster it will be possible to resolve the situation.
Difficulties
Now a little about the most common scenarios. Every action, as already mentioned, has its own motive or reason. That's what psychology says. Does your child not want to study?
The first reason why this happens is because of difficulties. Studying is a children's analogue of work. And the student often has a hard time. Sometimes the learning difficulties faced by a child exceed the workdays of adults. And taking into account the fact that children still do not know how to fight and do not have a special resistance to stress, the scale of the problem becomes enormous.
Maybe the child just does not learn the material well, does not cope with the tasks. Hence the reluctance to learn. This does not mean that the child is bad. And every parent should remember this truth.
Often a similar problem arises when transferring from one school to another. This is due to the difference in school programs, as well as in teachers. Does your child not want to study? Psychologist advice often emphasizes the need for children to be helped to cope with learning difficulties.
How exactly? Can:
- change school;
- change teachers;
- hire a tutor;
- independently deal with the child (but without unnecessary emotions, this is important).
Sometimes the best solution is to wait. As soon as the child gets used to school, can cope with tasks and difficulties, he will have a desire to acquire new knowledge.
Boredom
What if the child does not want to study? Do not panic and do not get emotional - this is the main thing. The rest of the situation is quite resolvable. Especially when it comes to younger students.
In general, studying is a very boring process. Parents who are faced with the unwillingness of children to learn often complain: "It's so interesting!". As a rule, such people simply forget themselves at school age.
As already mentioned, study is an analogue of work. Maybe the child is just bored in the classroom? For example, in view of more knowledge. Or, on the contrary, children are lagging behind in the program, which is why they cannot understand anything in the classroom. This is where boredom comes in. This is normal.
There are several ways to deal with the situation:
- school change;
- transfer of the child to a "stronger" class;
- tutoring and private lessons.
As soon as the child becomes interested in learning, he will do it with pleasure. This is how the human body works. Always remember that children are not adults. Their concept of "should" is not yet fully formed. Therefore, the school should be interesting.
Conflicts
Does your child not want to study? How to help him? Everything depends on the situation. As already mentioned, it is important to identify the cause of the problem under study. And there are a lot of them.
Often the desire to learn and go to school is beaten off by conflicts. For example, with classmates or teachers. In the first case, everything is more difficult than it seems. Conflicts with classmates are sometimes resolved quickly and independently. And in some cases, they confuse even psychologists. Therefore, often, if a child has protracted problems with "colleagues" in the class, one has to either transfer the baby to another class, or even change the school.
But in conflicts with teachers, you can correct the situation. And parents should do it. It is important to find out the cause of the "quarrel", and then take any action. Usually people just change teachers. But sometimes you can just talk to the teacher and influence him. It also happens that the students and the teacher "did not agree on the characters." This option confuses psychologists, parents, and school management. As already mentioned, usually a decision is simply made to change the teacher.
Needs
Modern children do not want to learn - this fact is cited by many experts. And the problem extends to children. different ages. Increasingly, there is a lack of interest in new knowledge among preschoolers.
Everything has its own explanation. Why does the child not want to study? The reasons, as you can see, are varied. Speaking specifically about modern generation, then, most likely, they simply do not need new knowledge.
But the origins of this phenomenon are progress in the field modern technologies. Children of all ages are becoming addicted to gadgets. Technique and games - that's what even preschoolers want. They simply have no desire to study, only to create.
In general, dependence on gadgets deprives children of curiosity. If a child does not want to learn to write, as well as just go to school, get new knowledge - this is the fault of modern parents. The only advice that psychologists give is to avoid addiction to gadgets and modern technology, do not accustom children to smartphones and tablets from the cradle. And if the addiction is already there, you have to fight it. But it is impossible to immediately deprive a child of a computer, TV, tablet, phone and other "charms" of modern technologies. This will only make the situation worse. It is important to carefully limit the time children spend with gadgets.
Health
In fact, if a child does not want to study (first grade or any other - this is not so important), problems can hide in less obvious nuances of a person's life.
Does a kid or teenager get tired quickly even from simple tasks? He gets very tired without applying special efforts to one thing or another? It is possible that parents will have to sound the alarm. After all, this behavior is a consequence of health problems. This is the reason why parents tend to forget.
Accordingly, as soon as the child is 100% healthy, the desire and need for new knowledge will appear. But this is only in the case when there are no other causes of the problem under study.
Load
School program- "value" is not constant. She changes all the time. Just like the pressure at school. This fact should be taken into account by every parent. School program in modern schools significantly different from what it was in Soviet times.
Does your child not want to study at all? This behavior is often a clear sign of fatigue. Sooner or later every tired person "burns out". He needs rest. Only in this case will it be possible to return the desire for learning and new knowledge.
Parents should do everything to reduce the burden on the child. This does not mean that you have to do all the homework for the student. But helping and supporting your child, allowing him to relax and unwind after school is a must.
An interesting fact: sometimes the desire to learn "beats off" the burden that falls on the child after school. For example, various sections and circles, as well as housework, helping parents (say, looking after younger brothers and sisters). It is necessary to unload the child in every sense. While the student is tired, he will not have a desire to learn.
Inability to concentrate
Of course, the age of the baby is considered an important factor influencing the behavior of the child. It will have to be taken into account. And reconcile. After all, growing up is a gradual and long process. Each age has its own characteristics. They are often accompanied by problems and failures. Including at school.
Is the child 6 years old? Doesn't want to study? You should not scold a newly-made schoolboy, but you also do not need to leave the situation unattended. It is important to understand that at 6-7 years old, children simply do not know how to concentrate on anything for a long time. Except in the game. But sitting for several hours and listening to a teacher is not an easy task for a baby.
Psychologists and scientists assure that children can normally perceive information in the classroom, as well as fully learn only by the age of 12. Approximately at this age, the child develops "restraint", he learns to sit still for a long time and listen, to delve into the essence of the story. You can't ask something like this from a junior high school student.
Transitional age
Child (13 years old) does not want to study? This problem is widespread all over the world. Parents of teenagers often note that their children simply stop striving for learning and knowledge. They "move out" according to their grades, do not do their homework and even skip classes!
Unfortunately, most mothers and fathers choose not the most correct tactics of behavior, which causes even more harm. Indeed, at the age of 12-13, puberty begins, a new stage in the formation of personality. A period of rebellion and disagreement. In adolescence, learning problems are normal.
It is important for parents at this moment not to “press” on the child, but to help the student cope with difficulties. transitional age. This technique helps to maintain relationships with children, and also improves academic performance. You can hire a tutor, but without fanaticism. Children of all ages should have time to rest.
Motivation
Any process, as already mentioned, has its reasons. For children, as for adults, motivation is important. A living organism will not do anything if it does not have a need and motives for it.
Accordingly, it is important for parents to "warm up" the child's interest in learning. Very often in practice there are situations when failures are punished, and successes are taken for granted. Over time, such behavior will lead to the fact that the child does not want to study further. Psychologists also note that some mothers and fathers do not consider good grades to be an achievement or even a due phenomenon, but poor grades promise serious consequences for a student.
Yes, in any action of parents there should be strictness and seriousness, but in moderation. Psychologists advise putting yourself in the place of a child: if there is no motivation to perform certain tasks, will an adult perform them? No. And the kids are doing the same thing.
Fortunately, it is possible to motivate a child to learn. But each student needs an individual approach. For some, extra pocket money can be a good motivation, for some, just praise or a family dinner, sweets as a reward for success, and some are motivated by purchases. Particularly the big ones. But this option is good for great success. For example - if you finish a term with honors, you will receive a gaming computer of the latest model. The main thing is to always keep your word and not deceive the child.
Often, parents believe that punishment and the "belt" are the main motivation for learning. If a child is kept in fear, then he will learn even through force, succeed and make progress. In fact, such behavior will lead to the destruction of contact with the student, sometimes even for life. Therefore, you should not choose such tactics of behavior.
Control
The latter scenario is also very common. Does your child not want to study? The psychologist's advice indicates that it is important for children to rest, to motivate them to study without intimidation and intimidation, without neglect. But along with this, it is important to remember one truth - less control.
The thing is that excessive control over the progress of the child leads to the fact that children do not want to learn. Especially if everything "revolves" around study and the educational process. The child begins to think that only education is important for parents. And all other spheres of life, feelings and experiences of children are a trifle. Therefore, the desire to learn disappears altogether. Sometimes it takes decades to restore it.
Sometimes parents completely control every step of the student, thereby assuming responsibility for all the actions of the child. It is not right. Such behavior only discourages the desire to study and acquire new knowledge. From now on, it is clear what to do if the child does not want to study. The main thing to remember is that punishment and abuse are not at all what will help correct the situation in most cases.
Now you understand why children do not want to learn? The reasons are so varied and depend on so much huge amount factors that you can never say for sure that you have a "boldhead" growing.
