How to live happily and enjoy life - advice from a psychologist. Love and gratitude or how to learn to live happily How to live a life of happiness to be

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How to live happily and enjoy life? Agree, only an absolutely happy person can give the correct answer to this question. But most people are now overwhelmed, overwhelmed with an unimaginable number of tasks and problems! I started thinking where can you find a truly happy person?! To ask him: how to live happily and enjoy life?

I noticed that you just have to ask something mentally, and the answer will not be long in coming.

I found an absolutely happy, in my opinion, person. His name is Jon Jandai. I came across a video of his speech at the TEDx conference. For some reason it doesn't surprise me that he comes from Thailand! Many people comment that Thais seem much happier than us.

His secret of happiness captured my imagination. Below is a short summary of the speech. Right now and right on the website at the end of the article you can watch Jon Jandai’s full TED speech in Russian. And get ready to change your outlook on life.

The secret of Thai happiness. TEDx talk

Here's my story. I was born in a remote, poor village where people worked only 2 months a year - 1 month when they planted rice and 1 month when they harvested. For a whole year we lived cheerfully and joyfully, we didn’t have to work hard. This is why we have so many festivals and holidays in Thailand.

How to earn more money?

But when televisions appeared in our village, we saw that people in cities live differently. They told us - you are poor. And to become rich, you need to go to Bangkok. And so I went. I started working 8 hours a day. But with the money I earned I could only buy a bowl of noodles a day and lived in a small room with workers like me. I wondered why I work hard but am still poor?

And I decided to go to university. But studying did not bring me joy. After all, I realized that at university they teach destructive things. If you study to be an architect, you will end up rolling the Earth into concrete. If you study to be an agronomist, you will be taught how to poison the Earth.

Then I decided to return home. And what did I find? It turns out you don't have to work hard to have enough food. I work only 2 months a year and grow 4 tons of rice. At the same time, my family needs less than half a ton per year. We sell the surplus. I tend a garden of 30 types of vegetables in just 15 minutes a day. But we don’t need as many vegetables as the garden provides. And we also sell the surplus. It turns out I was deceived. It's not true that you have to work hard.

How to build your own house?

Then I thought that I need my own home. But I remembered the thought that was instilled in me: “A poor man like you cannot have his own home. To build a house, you need to have a good job and pay off the loan on the house for 30 years!”

But I didn’t have a “good” job and decided to build a house myself. I worked for 3 months, 4 hours a day, and built a house. A friend of mine also built a house in 3 months, but with the hands of builders. However, he now has to pay off the mortgage for 30 years. And I am free for the next 29 years!

And I thought. I was deceived again. Building a house is easy. You too can build your own house. Even 13 and 14 year old children recently built a library in their village with their own hands. I started building a house a year. And now I have one problem, to decide in which house I will spend the night today)))).

How to dress fashionably and stylishly?

I started thinking about clothes and remembered how hard I worked in Bangkok for a month to buy just one pair of fashionable jeans. But no matter how fashionable and beautiful the clothes are, they cannot change me. I remain the same in it. And then I realized that clothes don’t have to be fashionable. This is again a deception. After all, we can’t keep up with fashion. No matter how hard we try, we will still fall behind.

What to do if you get sick?

Then I wondered what to do if you get sick. And I realized that we are in vain to be afraid of the disease. After all, illness is a hint from our soul that we are lost and going in the wrong direction. If it's a simple cold, then it's just the soul whispering to us that something is wrong. And if there is a serious illness, then it already screams that we are in danger. I stopped being afraid of illness. And I learned to use the knowledge of previous generations to heal.

Summary: the secret of happiness

Life is really simple and we needlessly complicate it. This It's not true that you have to work hard to acquire a lot of material assets.

Firstly, material values ​​will not ensure complete happiness and joy. Secondly, in exchange for material values, you you give your life to your employer. And you simply don’t have time for happiness.

When, in a simple life, do you there is a lot of time, you can be alone with yourself. At this time you can understand yourself. I if you If you understand yourself, you begin to understand others. And this makes it easy for you to find a common language with everyone. You get joy from communicating with people.

When you have a lot of free time, you notice the beauty of nature around you and begin to transfer it to surrounding objects in the form of carvings on the handle of a knife or beautiful baskets. But people with complicated lives don’t have time for this and they use plastic things((((.

When you start living a simple life and thinking like me, you You stop feeling fear and worry about money, home, clothes and health. You gain balance of soul. You gain confidence that you can do anything.

We've been around for a long time taught separation from their neighbors for the sake of their independence. Let's now learn to live together and don't rely on money, but rely on each other's help.

To become happy, you need to reconnect with yourself, and then with other people. Life is really simple and it’s easy to be happy and carefree in such a life.

It is not true that achieving success and happiness is difficult and difficult. We have been told this since childhood. Nowadays people get everything with great difficulty. Is this civilization? This doesn't look like civilization. So many universities, so many educated people. And life becomes more and more difficult.

Why are they making our lives so difficult? For whom do people work so hard now? This is wrong and unnatural. Just we need to return to natural life. After all, it is actually light, simple and joyful!

John Janday's full TED talk in Russian (15 minutes):

This performance made an indelible impression on me. I think many people have received an answer not only to the question “How to live happily and enjoy life?”, but also to the questions “How to live further if there is no money”, “How to live economically (tricks)?” and even to the question “How to live on if no one needs you?” John Janday says that when you live a simple life, there is time to be alone with yourself and begin to understand yourself. And when you understand yourself, you begin to understand others better.

Friends, I wish everyone joy and optimism, I wish us all to learn to enjoy even simple things - bread and rain!

In response to a seemingly simple question: “Are you a happy person?”, few people can give an intelligible answer. Most often it will be negative, and if it is positive, it will be characterized by great uncertainty and blurriness. It all comes down to the fact that people, oddly enough, simply don’t know what it’s like to be happy.

Everyone says that a person should strive to achieve happiness, but no one can unambiguously explain what exactly is meant: a state of mind or some set of physical goods?
How to learn to live happily? What does that require? What can become an obstacle to happiness?
One of these obstacles may be the upbringing laid down in a person in early childhood, as well as the culture instilled in our society. A certain responsibility lies with literature and cinema. Agree, it is unlikely that anyone will want to read books or watch films in which the main characters are initially happy and do not have to suffer, go through trials and difficulties.

In Western culture, people do not hesitate to talk about whether they are happy or not, whether things are going well or not. In the vastness of the washed-up Soviet Union, everything is exactly the opposite. We, fearing the evil eye or envy, prefer not to answer the question “How are you?” If everything is going well for us, we don’t enjoy life, but begin to analyze what’s the catch?
It is these features of our character and upbringing that become obstacles on the path to happiness.

Another obstacle for those who are thinking about how to learn to live happily can be our tendency to compare ourselves with other people. This path is always a dead end, since there will always be someone who will be more successful.

The biggest obstacle to a happy life is living for the future, when a person is confident that he can become happy only in the future, when he reaches a certain position or circumstances develop in a certain way.

Having dealt with what interferes with our happiness, let's try to find out how to learn to live happily and what can make a person happy?
The feeling of happiness is influenced by what kind of character and temperament a person has. For example, an extrovert with strong self-esteem and a family will always be happier than an introvert who experiences constant health problems and lives alone.

In addition, a person can feel happy by doing his favorite things, such as sports, watching movies and reading books, having sex, simply communicating with pleasant people, etc.

Someone will definitely notice that an integral attribute of a happy life is material security and financial well-being. However, researchers say that money is not a determining factor in happiness.

Answering the question of how to learn to live happily, we can give several recommendations.

A person's life lies in his daily activities, so start living happily now without putting it off for the future.

Cultivate the habit of happiness. Try to imagine exactly how you should feel experiencing it. Remember this state and try it from time to time.

Be happy with everything you have now.

By learning to concentrate on the positive aspects of life, you can achieve that you will actually become happy, because, as you know, our innermost desires and thoughts are capable of materialization.

How we achieve happiness may be different for each of us. Our passions, expectations, life experiences, and even our personalities influence the level of happiness we experience in our lives. Some people find happiness in their careers, while others prefer to find happiness in marriage or other intimate relationships.

No matter how you define happiness for yourself, there are certain universal, time-tested strategies for bringing and maintaining more happiness in your life. The following 14 ways to live a happy life can be adapted and even customized to suit your needs. Over time, these strategies will become constructive and lifestyle-changing habits that will undoubtedly begin to bring more happiness and joy into your life.

1. Notice what you need to notice

Some of us see the glass as half full, others see the same glass as half empty. The next time you're stuck in traffic, start thinking about how good it is that you have a moment to reflect on today, focus on the problem you're trying to solve, or think hard about your next big idea. Accept all such life situations from the perspective of what can be learned from a particular situation. At the end of the day you will be more satisfied, calm and happy. Start noticing what you need and you will see the world begin to change before your eyes.

2. Be grateful

How often do you say the word “thank you” during the day? How often do you hear this word? Learn to be grateful and you will be open to receiving an abundance of joy and happiness.

3. Think back to when you were a child.

Do you remember how to play? This does not mean playing golf or tennis. We are talking about how you played as children - tag, hide and seek, football, where two bricks served as a goal. As one of the ways to find or maintain your happiness, remember yourself as a child and play the same way you did then.

4. Be kind

There is no doubt that even simply observing acts of kindness greatly lifts our spirits and increases our desire to do good deeds. Kindness is, indeed, contagious, and when we commit to being kind to ourselves and others, we can experience new heights of joy, pleasure, happiness and enthusiasm in our lives.

5. Spend time with your friends

Although a rich social and personal life does not automatically guarantee joy, it still has a huge impact on our happiness. Learn to spend time with your friends and make friendship a priority in your life.

6. Enjoy every moment

Very often we think about the future and look into the future in search of the next event or circumstance in our lives, while absolutely not appreciating the “here and now”. When we enjoy every moment, we enjoy happiness in our life.

7. Rest

There are situations when we need time to relax, relieve tension, and simply “cool down.” For each of us, life sometimes becomes too hard and fast. At the same time, time continues to move forward at its natural pace, which does not always coincide with the pace that we choose. Fatigue, stress and exhaustion can set in before we even think or notice. The best remedy for this is, of course, rest.

8. Move

It is an undeniable fact that working out or any physical activity lifts your mood and increases your positive attitude, while also helping to increase your self-esteem and confidence. Indeed, one way to increase your happiness is to move.

9. Put on a happy face

This doesn't mean that we won't be honest, correct or real, but sometimes we just need to put on a happy face and keep moving forward. Research has shown that smiling and maintaining a happy image actually makes us happier. Further research has shown that if we act with the thought that we are already happy, then we can experience greater joy and happiness in our lives.

10. Follow your goals

Not having goals in your life or avoiding them makes you feel useless and unsuccessful. Following your goals in life, personal relationships, career makes the big difference between a mediocre life and a life full of passion and enthusiasm. Follow your goals and watch your happiness grow.

11. Find your passion

Some find meaning in religion or spirituality, while others find purpose in their work or relationships. Finding your calling can be much more than following one simple strategy to increase your happiness, but feeling your purpose, feeling like you're living for a reason, can help you experience perhaps the greatest joy in life.

12. Login within

Flow is a form of joy, exhilaration and happiness that occurs when we are so engrossed in an activity we love that we can free ourselves and time will seem to stand still. The flow makes each of us unique. In order to find and strengthen true happiness in our lives, we must go beyond and get into our flow.

13. Play to your strengths

One of the ways to get in the flow is to understand and recognize your strengths and core values, which you then need to start using every day. When we become aware of our strengths, and when we begin to use them, we can best incorporate them into all aspects of our lives.

14. Don't go too far with it

What brought you joy and happiness once may not work the second time. Too many good things can start to not seem good if “things” start to feel like a routine or an expectation. In this case, set healthy and reasonable boundaries for yourself and do not cross them.

Research groups of scientists from Harvard and the University of California believe that happiness is a virus that lives according to all the laws of an infectious disease. According to them, if a person is surrounded by friendly and smiling people, then this attitude is transmitted to him. In particular, a person's chance of being happy increases by 25% if his best friend is happy.

But physiologists believe that happiness depends on hormones - endorphin, serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin eliminates depression, improves mental abilities, is beneficial for internal organs, and improves the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract. But serotonin works closely with dopamine, the pleasure hormone, and GABA, which is responsible for the relaxation process.

The lack of even one of these substances affects the mood, depriving a person of a feeling of happiness. To prevent this from happening, you can make small adjustments to your diet by increasing the doses of certain foods:

• Serotonin— found in eggs, low-fat cheeses, poultry, and avocados.
• Dopamine- Found in fruits and vegetables with vitamin C.
• GABA- found in eggs, dark green vegetables, seeds, nuts, potatoes and bananas.

But happiness is not only in tasty and healthy food, but also in a good mood, a positive outlook, the absence of stress, anxiety and worry, as well as psychological and physical health.

How to learn to be happy?

• Don't envy or compare yourself to others. It is very important to learn to be content with what you already have, appreciate it and enjoy it, without ceasing to strive for more. Other people's victories and blessings in life should not cause anger and irritation, but motivate and inspire. The desire to not lag behind others in anything is one of the main enemies of happiness.
• Don't stop there and constantly set new goals for yourself, let them be both global, for example, building a house or visiting an exotic country, and everyday, for example, submitting a report or starting to go to fitness. Remember that becoming a doctor, raising a child, or making soup are all goals.
• Don't regret anything. If something has already happened, it cannot be changed. Thinking about what could be changed in the past is absolutely useless; it is better to concentrate on what can be done in the present and future.
• Make your own decisions and take responsibility for them. No one knows what is best for you except you. Of course, sometimes it’s worth listening to advice, but try on your life only for yourself.
• Learn to relax, because rest and pleasure are an important component of truly happy people. Don’t sacrifice rest for the sake of work or money - there will always be plenty of the former, and little of the latter. Try to organize regular vacations with a rich program, do not forget about daily rest, which includes not only sleep and leisure, but also banal “doing nothing.”
• Learn to forgive and forget grievances. After all, keeping negative emotions to yourself is the same as drinking poison, but thinking that it will poison someone else.
• Go in for sports, fitness, do gymnastics regularly, or at least just walk a lot. It has been proven that during physical activity, the brain absorbs more oxygen, and the body produces “joy hormones” (dopamine, serotonin), which improve mood for at least 4 hours.
• Watch your health, after all, any disease means poor health and loss of strength, and it is much easier to prevent it than to waste energy, time and money on treatment.
• Eat right, try to learn to avoid unhealthy foods, such as fast food, but still enjoy the food. No diet has ever made a person happy, but a delicious dinner can quite improve your mood.
• Learn every day to love, respect and appreciate yourself, thereby balancing healthy egoism with correct self-criticism.
• Smile, even if there is no one to smile at. Physiologists call a smile a good mood button; joyful facial expressions relieve muscle tension and stimulate the parts of the brain responsible for a good mood.
• Surround yourself with positivity- positive books, films, beautiful things, such as flowers, photographs or dishes, listen to good cheerful music.

AiF.ru collected 8 statements by famous people about happiness. Try to guess

In order to be happy, many people think that they need to work hard and study. But this is absolutely not true; for this it is important to find inner harmony with yourself and the world around you. How your life will turn out depends only on you, and not on other people and circumstances. There are several tips on how to learn to live happily.

Be grateful

Often those people who are unhappy are those who do not know how to appreciate what they already have. Learn to be grateful to everyone and everything that surrounds you. After all, happiness, first of all, lies not in a beautiful house and wealth, but in the people who give it to you. Always thank fate for your parents, soul mates, children, friends and family.

Be sure to thank for everything that you have achieved in life, for success in school, work, sports and other things that are very important to you, even for very small victories. The more you thank your life, the more pleasant surprises it will give you.

Gain confidence in yourself

If a person has low self-esteem and does not feel capable, he feels wounded, weak and helpless. Such individuals cannot fully enjoy happiness. Because of their cowardice and inaction, they miss important moments in life, which may no longer exist in the future. You need to radically change yourself and your thinking. Stop comparing yourself to others, they are no better than you.

Each person has his own talents, you just need to find and reveal them. Don’t be afraid to take action, even if nothing works out, it’s not the end of the world, because every person makes mistakes, the main thing is not to dwell on them. Don’t stand still, move forward persistently, trust your intuition and then you will achieve what you dream of.

Learn to quickly get rid of nervous tension

At a certain point in life, every person faces various problems along the way, which are sometimes difficult to cope with. Troubles can be of various types, both at work and in personal life. A person gets lost and begins to get nervous, which usually leads to stress and depression. As a result of all this, problems become even greater, your moral and physical health is undermined, and various diseases appear.

To prevent this from happening, you should learn to get rid of nervous tension as quickly as possible. There are many options for this: walks in nature, going to the pool, going to the gym, going to the cinema, practicing hobbies or doing physical exercises at home. You just need to choose which method is right for you. At such moments, it is important to put aside all troubles and enjoy everything that surrounds you, and then you will be happy.

Appreciate and take care of your loyal friends

Not many people have true, devoted friends in life; of course, everyone has comrades, acquaintances and close people. You are all connected by something, with some - work, with others - common interests, with others - wives and children. But it is very important to have those people who will always support you in difficult times, will rejoice at your achievements and will not betray you in any situation. You need to take care of such people and thank fate for introducing you to them. But you also shouldn’t break ties with all your other comrades; appreciate them too, because along some path their help was and will be useful to you.

Develop yourself

Another step towards a happy life is human development. Many live ordinary days in which absolutely nothing happens; they are in their own closed world. All this affects a person and sometimes leads to degradation. Time passes, our world develops and we along with it.

Don't sit in one place, start learning something new, unknown to you. Visit those places in your city that you have never been to, watch scientific and educational films, do something that is completely new to you, travel and meet interesting people, because happiness is around us and within us. Learning to live happily is extremely necessary, because without this, all days are very similar to gray everyday life.