Attachment and family in a child's life. School of Foster Parents What can be done
Information provided by Associate Professor of the Department of Psychotherapy and Medical Psychology of BelMAPO, Candidate of Medical Sciences, Doctor of the Highest Qualification Category Elena Vladimirovna Tarasevich
Emotional disorders in children - what is it?
A change in emotional background may be the first sign of mental illness. Various brain structures are involved in the realization of emotions, and in young children they are less differentiated. As a result, their manifestations of experiences affect different areas, including: motor activity, sleep, appetite, bowel function, temperature regulation. In children, more often than in adults, various uncharacteristic manifestations of emotional disorders occur, which in turn complicates their recognition and treatment.
A change in the emotional background may be hidden behind: behavioral disorders and a decrease in school performance, disorders of autonomic functions that imitate certain diseases (neurocirculatory dystonia, arterial hypertension).
Over the past decades, there has been an increase in negative phenomena in the health of children and adolescents. The prevalence of psycho-emotional development disorders in children: on average for all parameters is about 65%.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mood disorders rank among the top ten most significant emotional problems in children and adolescents. As experts note, from the first months of life to 3 years, almost 10% of children exhibit obvious neuropsychic pathology. At the same time, there is a negative trend towards an annual increase in this category of children by an average of 8-12%.
According to some data, among high school students the prevalence of neuropsychiatric disorders reaches 70-80%. More than 80% of children need some kind of neurological, psychotherapeutic and/or psychiatric help.
The wide prevalence of emotional disorders in children leads to their incomplete integration into the general developmental environment and problems of social and family adaptation.
Recent studies by foreign scientists indicate that infants, preschool children and schoolchildren suffer from all types of anxiety disorders and changes in mood.
According to the Institute of Developmental Physiology, about 20% of children entering school already have borderline mental health disorders, and by the end of 1st grade this figure reaches 60-70%. School stress plays a leading role in such a rapid deterioration in children's health.
Externally, stress in children passes in different ways: some children “withdraw into themselves,” some are too actively involved in school life, and some need the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist. The psyche of children is delicate and vulnerable, and they often have to experience no less stress than adults.
How to determine that a child needs the help of a psychotherapist, neurologist and/or psychologist?
Sometimes adults do not immediately notice that the child is feeling unwell, that he is experiencing severe nervous tension, anxiety, fears, his sleep is disturbed, his blood pressure is fluctuating...
Experts identify 10 main symptoms of childhood stress that can develop into emotional disorders:
It seems to the child that neither his family nor friends need him. Or he gets the persistent impression that “he is lost in the crowd”: he begins to feel awkward, a sense of guilt in the company of people with whom he previously had good relationships. As a rule, children with this symptom answer questions shyly and briefly.
2nd symptom - problems concentrating and memory impairment.
The child often forgets what he just said, he loses the “thread” of the dialogue, as if he is not at all interested in the conversation. The child has difficulty collecting his thoughts, school material “flies into one ear and flies out of the other.”
The 3rd symptom is sleep disturbances and excessive fatigue.
We can talk about the presence of such a symptom if the child constantly feels tired, but despite this, he cannot easily fall asleep or wake up in the morning.
“Consciously” waking up for the first lesson is one of the most common types of protest against school.
The 4th symptom is fear of noise and/or silence.
The child reacts painfully to any noise and shudders from sharp sounds. However, the opposite phenomenon may occur: it is unpleasant for the child to be in complete silence, so he either talks continuously, or, when alone in the room, he always turns on music or the TV.
The 5th symptom is loss of appetite.
An appetite disorder can manifest itself in a child as a loss of interest in food, a reluctance to eat even previously favorite dishes, or, conversely, a constant desire to eat - the child eats a lot and indiscriminately. 
The 6th symptom is irritability, short temper and aggressiveness.
The child loses self-control - for the most insignificant reason at any moment he can “lose his temper”, lose his temper, or respond rudely. Any remark from adults is met with hostility - aggression.
7th symptom - vigorous activity and/or passivity.
The child develops feverish activity: he fidgets all the time, fiddling with something or shifting something. In a word, he does not sit still for a minute - he makes “movement for the sake of movement.”
Often experiencing internal anxiety, a teenager plunges headlong into activities, subconsciously trying to forget and switch his attention to something else. However, it is worth noting that stress can also manifest itself in the opposite way: a child may shy away from important matters and engage in some pointless activities.
8th symptom - mood swings.
Periods of good mood are abruptly replaced by anger or a tearful mood... And this can happen several times a day: the child is either happy and carefree, or begins to be capricious and angry.
The 9th symptom is the absence or excessive attention to one’s appearance.
A child stops being interested in his appearance or twirls in front of the mirror for a very long time, changes clothes many times, limits himself in food in order to lose weight (the danger of developing anorexia) - this can also be caused by stress.
The 10th symptom is isolation and reluctance to communicate, as well as suicidal thoughts or attempts.
The child's interest in peers disappears. Attention from others makes him irritated. When he receives a phone call, he thinks about whether to answer the call and often asks him to tell the caller that he is not at home. The appearance of suicidal thoughts and threats.
Emotional disorders in children are quite common and are the result of stress. Emotional disorders in children, both very young and older, are more often caused by an unfavorable situation, but in rare cases they can occur spontaneously (at least, the reasons for the changed state are not observed). Apparently, the genetic predisposition to fluctuations in the emotional background plays a great role in the tendency to such disorders. Conflicts in the family and school also cause the development of emotional disorders in children.
Risk factors - long-term dysfunctional family situation: scandals, parental cruelty, divorce, death of parents...
In this state, the child may be susceptible to alcoholism, drug addiction, and substance abuse.
Manifestations of emotional disorders in children
With emotional disturbances in children, the following may occur:
Treatment of emotional disorders
Emotional disorders in children are treated in the same way as in adults: a combination of individual, family psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy gives the best effect.
Basic rules for prescribing medications in children and adolescents:
- any prescription must balance possible side effects and clinical need;
- a person responsible for taking the child’s medications is selected from among the relatives;
- Family members are advised to be attentive to changes in the child's behavior.
Timely diagnosis of psycho-emotional disorders in childhood and adolescence and adequate treatment is a priority task for psychotherapists, neurologists, psychiatrists and doctors of other specialties.
Having decided to take an adopted child into the family, future parents are faced with a large number of fears and concerns. We are afraid that adopted children may grow up to be cruel and insensitive, that they will lie, steal, run away from home, and use alcohol and drugs. Public opinion tends to attribute these difficulties to adopted children due to “bad heredity.” In fact, most of the differences in their behavior are explained by the fact that they have been affected by attachment trauma to one degree or another.
Without being around or having at some point lost a close adult who would be responsible for them, care for them and love them, these children are deprived of the opportunity to form trust in the world, in people, and learn to love other people and themselves.
In Russia, very young children are most often taken into families between the ages of birth and three years - at this age it is quite difficult to assess the child’s psychological state based on the child’s behavior. In this article, I Am a Parent will tell you how to tell if your adopted child has attachment trauma and what you can do to heal it.
What is attachment trauma and why does it occur?
Psychologists understand attachment as a special relationship of intimacy, an emotional connection that develops between a child and the adult caring for him. This does not have to be your own mother - such an adult can be one of the other relatives, a foster parent, or even a nanny. The main thing is that from the first days of life, “his own” adult is attached to the child. Someone who is responsible for his safety and development, who he can rely on. If a child did not have the opportunity to form such relationships in early childhood, then psychologists talk about attachment trauma.
Institutions that take care of children often employ educators who truly love their children. But there is only one teacher for every thirty children. And he will not be able to become his “own” adult for any of them. Therefore, the development of attachment trauma in children from orphanages is inevitable to one degree or another.
Why is attachment trauma dangerous?
1. Lost ability to get close to people
An attachment relationship with a caring adult shapes the child's ability to become close to people in the future and experience warm feelings towards them. Children with attachment trauma do not know how to love and open up. They say about such children that they literally grow up indifferent to the whole world.
2. Lacks empathy for people
One of the consequences of failing to love is a lack of empathy for others. Children with attachment trauma do not develop empathy; they do not understand that their actions or words can hurt others. Hence their increased cruelty and unformed sense of guilt. Their behavior may leave a feeling that the child “has no conscience.”
3. There is no cause-and-effect relationship and understanding of boundaries.
In the first year of life, thanks to attachment relationships, the child develops the ability to establish cause-and-effect relationships. He understands that if he cries, they will come to his aid. In children with attachment trauma, the formation of cause-and-effect relationships is disrupted, since there was no adult nearby who would react to their crying, and in the second year of life, when children begin to master the world, who would set boundaries. Therefore, they may find themselves in life-threatening situations.
4. Lack of trust in people
A child with attachment trauma has no trust - neither in other people, nor in the world as a whole. He feels personally responsible for his safety and does not allow anyone to control him. Hence the problems arising with compliance with the rules of behavior.
7 Rules for Forming Attachment in an Adopted Child
According to the observations of psychologists, the formation of attachment to adoptive parents takes from six months to two years, depending on the severity of the case.
In addition, the stages of development of attachment are such that until a child reaches the age of three years, separation from “his adult” is fraught with psychological trauma for him. Therefore, for a period of six months (until the baby is three years old), the child will need your undivided attention.
1. Do not be separated from your child for more than 4 hours
During this period, the mother should not be separated from the child for more than four hours. If you are away for a longer period of time, hire a permanent nanny for your child or choose someone from your family who will constantly replace you so that the child can form an attachment with him too.
2. Restore the child’s physical contact with an adult
Attachment relationships are largely formed through skin-to-skin contact and eye contact. Therefore, try to let your child spend as much time as possible in your arms.
3. Don’t let other adults hold your baby for long periods of time.
Only mom and dad can hold a baby in their arms for a long time. This is necessary for the child to “single out” parental figures from all the adults with whom he comes into contact, and learn to separate “us” and “strangers”.
4. Give your baby a massage
Give your baby a massage every day. During the massage, comment on your actions, smile and interact with him.
5. Take your baby to sleep with you or next to you
At night, your child should sleep in the same bed with you or very close to you. Organize a place for him to sleep so that the child cannot fall on the floor. Before bed, rock and lull your baby to sleep. You can come up with your own special bedtime ritual, bedtime ritual, and repeat it every evening.
6. Help your baby with feeding
For children who have already left infancy, help them with the feeding process at first so that they feel your support.
7. Don't leave a crying child alone
Respond to any call from your baby, especially crying. An attachment trauma was formed in a child precisely because his crying, his needs, his fear, his desire to be loved were ignored. The best thing to do is to respond to his need for protection and intimacy as often and for as long as it takes to catch up.
Are you ready to become foster parents?
Anna Kolchugina
In the 80s last century in the USA and Canada, among those involved in the problems of placing orphaned children in families, the term “attachment disorder (attachment disorder)” became quite popular. This term comes from the so-called psychology of attachment - a direction developed by Mary Eisworth and John Bowlby in the middle of the last century.
With this phenomenon, scientists explained many of the difficulties that arise in families that have adopted or taken in children over 3 years of age. The most radical psychoanalysts and psychologists believe that if a child does not develop a sense of attachment at an early age, then it is impossible to achieve from him either reciprocal love or a normal level of intellectual and emotional development. The position of other representatives, which includes many Russian psychologists, is different from radical. What prevails here is optimism and faith in the potential capabilities of a growing organism, faith in the power of upbringing and learning, the belief that purposeful work and love for the child will help achieve mutual affection and avoid negative consequences in the development of the child’s personality.
We hope that this material will help future and existing adoptive parents understand this problem.
So what is attachment? To understand this, here is the most typical complaint. The parents of a girl adopted from an orphanage initially decided that the eight-year-old girl adapted to her new life quite easily. She was nice to all members of the new family, affectionately kissed relatives when they met and hugged them when parting. However, the adoptive parents soon realized that she behaved in exactly the same way with strangers. They were disturbed by this discovery and very offended that their daughter showed the same attentions to them, her adoptive parents, and complete strangers. Another unpleasant moment for them was that the girl is not at all upset when her parents leave, and can easily stay with any person she doesn’t know well. During a consultation with a psychologist, they learned that the child did not have a developed sense of attachment.
Why are adults so scared when a child does not differentiate between friends and foes and happily calls any woman mom? Does he willingly give his hand to any stranger on the street and is ready to go with him anywhere? What does this mean for a child - a feeling of attachment?
All these issues become especially important during adoption or guardianship, when we have, on the one hand, adults who present a certain idealized picture of the relationship between children and parents, and, of course, they want to achieve it right now. And, on the other hand, we have a child with previous life experiences that leave a certain imprint on his current behavior, feelings, emotions, and relationships with adults. And this is alarming.
Attachment is a mutual process of forming an emotional connection between people, which lasts indefinitely, even if these people are separated.Adults like to feel affection, but they can live without it. Children need to feel a sense of affection. They cannot fully develop without a feeling of attachment to an adult, because... their sense of security, their perception of the world, their development depends on this. A healthy attachment helps a child develop a conscience, logical thinking, the ability to control emotional outbursts, self-esteem, the ability to understand their own feelings and the feelings of others, and also helps to find a common language with other people. Positive attachment also helps reduce the risk of developmental delays.
Attachment disorders can have an impact not only on the child's social contacts - the development of conscience, self-esteem, the ability to empathy (that is, the ability to understand the feelings of other people, sympathize with others), but can also contribute to the delay of emotional, social, physical and mental child development.
The feeling of attachment is an important part of the life of a foster family. Developing this sense can help children or adolescents build or restore relationships with their birth family (parents, siblings, grandparents, in-laws), which is important for reconnecting with them. If it is known that the birth family cannot or will not care for the child and the child must be adopted, it is important to develop a sense of healthy attachment in order to, firstly, successfully cope with the consequences of separation from the birth family, and, secondly, to childhood was as happy as possible.
Formation of attachment in children
The feeling of affection is not innate, it is an acquired quality and it is not limited to humans. In relation to the animal world, this property is called “imprinting” - imprinting. You've probably heard that chickens consider their mother the duck that hatched them and whom they saw first, or puppies consider their mother the cat who first fed them her own milk. Since in a baby who was abandoned by his own mother, she was not imprinted in the brain, and completely different people fed him, without even holding him in their arms, he does not establish a constant connection with a specific person, which is why they say that such children have impaired formation feelings of attachment (attachment disorder).
The formation of attachment within normal limits can be simplistically described using the following mechanism: when an infant feels hungry, he begins to cry, because this causes him discomfort and sometimes physical pain, the parents understand that the child is most likely hungry and feed him. In the same way, other needs of the child are satisfied: dry diapers, warmth, communication. As the child's needs are met, the child develops trust in the person who cares for him. This is how attachment is formed.
The beginnings of attachment are laid as the child develops reactions to the people around him. So, at about 3 months, the child develops a “revival complex” (he begins to smile at the sight of an adult, actively move his arms and legs, express joy with sounds, and reach out to the adult). At about 6-8 months, the child begins to confidently distinguish family members whom he sees often from strangers. At this age, he is strongly attached to his mother, and may not recognize his grandparents if he rarely sees them. Learns to show parents in response to the questions “Where is mom?”, “Where is dad?” At 10-12 months, speech formation begins - first, individual words, then phrasal speech is formed. As a rule, at this age the child begins to speak with the words “mom”, “dad”, and learns to say his name. Then significant verbs “drink”, “give”, “play”, etc. are added to them. At about the age of 1.5 years, fear of strangers arises for the second time.
Formation of child-parent attachment, stages of development
The stage of undifferentiated attachments (1.5 - 6 months) - when babies are isolated from their mother, but calm down if they are picked up by another adult. This stage is also called the stage of initial orientation and non-selective addressing of signals to any person - the child follows with his eyes, clings and smiles to any person.
Stage of specific attachments (7 – 9 months) – this stage is characterized by the formation and consolidation of the formed primary attachment to the mother (the child protests if he is separated from the mother, behaves restlessly in the presence of unfamiliar persons).
The stage of multiple attachments (11 – 18 months) - when the child, based on primary attachment to the mother, begins to show selective attachment in relation to other close people, but uses the mother as a “reliable base” for his research activities. This is very noticeable when the child begins to walk or crawl, i.e. becomes capable of independent movement. If you observe the child’s behavior at this moment, it is important that his movement occurs along a rather complex trajectory, he constantly returns to his mother, and if someone obscures his mother, he necessarily moves so as to see her.
The figure shows the child's movement pattern when he gradually moves further and further away from his mother, constantly returning to her, thus trying to get to the object that interests him (1). Then, having reached the toy, the child plays (2), but as soon as someone or something blocks the mother from him, he moves so that he can see her (3).
By the age of 2, a child, as a rule, clearly differentiates between friends and strangers. Recognizes relatives in photos, even if he has not seen them for some time. With the proper level of speech development, it can tell who is who in the family.
With adequate development and a normal family environment, he is ready to communicate with the outside world and is open to new acquaintances. He enjoys meeting children on the playground and trying to play with them.
How can knowledge of these age norms and characteristics help parents? When getting acquainted with the life history of a child, it is important to compare the age at which the child enters a child care institution with the given standards. For example, if the child is about 9 months old and before that the child lived in more or less favorable conditions and did not experience emotional rejection from the mother, then it is very likely that ending up in an orphanage will be a severe trauma for him, and the formation of new attachments will be difficult. On the other hand, if a child enters a children's institution at the age of 1.5 - 2 months and a permanent nanny or teacher communicates with him there, who satisfies the child's basic needs for emotional contact, then when he is adopted at the age of 5-6 months, his transition to an adoptive family will be quite simple and the formation of attachments will probably not be significantly complicated.
It is clear that these examples are conditional, and in reality, the formation of a child’s attachment is influenced by the age of the child, and the time of his placement in a child care institution, and the conditions of detention in the orphanage, and the characteristics of the family situation (if he lived in a family), and the characteristics the child’s temperament, and the presence of any organic disorders.
Psychological manifestations and consequences of attachment disorders
Manifestations of attachment disorders can be identified by a number of signs.
Firstly- persistent reluctance of the child to come into contact with surrounding adults. The child does not make contact with adults, is alienated, avoids them; When trying to stroke it, he pushes his hand away; does not make eye contact, avoids eye to eye contact; is not included in the proposed game, however, the child, nevertheless, pays attention to the adult, as if “imperceptibly” glancing at him.
Secondly- an apathetic or depressed mood background with fearfulness, or wariness, or tearfulness predominates.
Third– children aged 3-5 years may exhibit auto-aggression (aggression towards themselves - children can “bang” their heads against the wall or floor, the sides of the bed, scratch themselves, etc.). At the same time, aggression and self-aggression can also be a consequence of violence against a child (see below), as well as the lack of positive experience in building relationships with other people.
If a child has been in a situation for a long time in which adults paid attention to him only when he began to behave badly, and this attention was expressed in the aggressive behavior of surrounding adults (shouting, threats, spanking), he learns this model of behavior and tries to introduce it in communication with adoptive parents. The desire to attract the attention of an adult in this way (i.e., bad behavior) is also one of the manifestations of inadequate attachment. Moreover, what is interesting is that a child can provoke an adult into behavior that is, in principle, not characteristic of him, an adult. This is usually described as follows: « This child will not calm down until you yell at him or spank him. I've never used this kind of punishment on my child(ren) before, but this child just makes me want to hit his. Moreover, at the moment when I finally lose my temper and spank (yell) at the child, he stops provoking me and begins to behave normally.”
In such a situation, it is important to understand what is happening. As a rule, parents, describing what is happening, say that such aggression arises on their part as if against their will and, in principle, is not characteristic of them. At the same time, sometimes it is enough for parents to simply realize what is happening and learn to feel the moment of such provocation. Most people have some way of coping with stress, and these methods can be used in similar cases. For example: leave the room (physically leave the situation), take a time out (count to 10 or simply tell the child that you are not ready to communicate with him now and will return to this conversation a little later), it helps someone to wash themselves with cold water and etc. The main thing in this situation is to learn to recognize the moment when such a critical situation arises.
It is important to teach the child to recognize, pronounce and adequately express his feelings; the use of “I-statements” by the parent is useful in such a situation (see below).
Fourth- “diffuse sociability”, which manifests itself in the absence of a sense of distance from adults, in the desire to attract attention by all means. This behavior is often called “clingy behavior”, and it is observed in the majority of children of preschool and primary school age - residents of boarding schools. They rush to any new adult, climb into their arms, hug, and call them mom (or dad).
In addition, a consequence of attachment disorders in children can be somatic (bodily) symptoms in the form of weight loss and weakness of muscle tone. It is no secret that children raised in children's institutions most often lag behind their peers from families not only in development, but also in height and weight. Moreover, if earlier researchers only suggested improving nutrition and child care, now it is becoming obvious that this is not the only issue. Very often, children who come into the family, after some time, having gone through the process of adaptation, begin to unexpectedly quickly gain weight and height, which is most likely not only a consequence of good nutrition, but also an improvement in the psychological situation. Of course, it is not only attachment that is the cause of such violations, although it would be wrong to deny its significance in this case.
We especially note that the above manifestations of attachment disorders are reversible and are not accompanied by significant intellectual impairments.
Let us dwell on the causes of disturbances in the formation of attachment in children from orphanages and orphanages.
Almost all psychologists name the main reason deprivation in young years. In psychological literature, the concept of deprivation (from the late Latin deprivatio - deprivation) is understood as a mental state that arises as a result of a long-term restriction of a person’s ability to sufficiently satisfy his basic mental needs; characterized by pronounced deviations in emotional and intellectual development, disruption of social contacts.
The following conditions are identified, which we have divided into groups, necessary for the normal development of a child, and, accordingly, the types of deprivation that arise in their absence:
Completeness of information about the surrounding world, received through different channels: vision, hearing, touch (touch), smell - its lack causes sensory (feeling) deprivation . This type of deprivation is characteristic of children who, from birth, end up in children's institutions, where they are actually deprived of the stimuli necessary for development - sounds, sensations.
The lack of satisfactory conditions for learning and acquiring various skills - a situation that does not allow us to understand, anticipate and regulate what is happening around us, causes cognitive (cognitive) deprivation .
Emotional contacts with adults, and above all the mother, ensuring the formation of personality - their insufficiency leads to emotional deprivation .
Limitation of the possibility of mastering social roles, becoming familiar with the norms and rules of society causes social deprivation .
The consequence of deprivation is almost always a more or less pronounced delay in the development of speech, the development of social and hygienic skills, and the development of fine motor skills. Fine motor skills - the ability to perform small, precise movements, play with small objects, mosaics, drawing small objects, writing. Delays in the development of fine movements are significant not only because they can prevent a child from mastering the process of writing and, accordingly, make it difficult for him to learn at school, but there is also a large amount of evidence confirming the connection between the development of fine motor skills and speech. To eliminate the consequences of deprivation, it is necessary not only to eliminate the situation of deprivation itself, but special work to correct the problems that have already arisen because of it.
Children livingin children's institutions, especially those who end up in an orphanage from a very early age, face all types of deprivations described. At an early age, they receive a clearly insufficient amount of information necessary for development. For example, there is not a sufficient number of visual (toys of different colors and shapes), kinesthetic (toys of different textures), auditory (toys of different sounds) stimuli. In a relatively prosperous family, even with a lack of toys, a child has the opportunity to see various objects from different points of view (when he is picked up, carried around the apartment, taken outside), hears various sounds - not only toys, but also dishes, TV, conversations of adults, speech addressed to him. Has the opportunity to get acquainted with various materials, touching not only toys, but also adult clothes and various objects in the apartment. The child becomes familiar with the appearance of a human face because even with minimal contact between the mother and the child in the family, the mother and other adults more often take him in their arms and speak to him.
Cognitive (intellectual) deprivation occurs due to the fact that the child cannot in any way influence what is happening to him, nothing depends on him - it does not matter whether he wants to eat, sleep, etc. A child raised in a family (here and throughout the article, when describing the upbringing of a child in a family, extreme cases of neglect and violence against children are not taken into account, since this is a completely separate topic) can protest - refuse (by shouting) to eat if he is not hungry, refuse dress or, conversely, refuse to undress. And in most cases, parents take into account the child’s reaction, whereas in a child care facility, even the best, it is simply physically impossible to feed children only when they are hungry and do not refuse to eat. That is why these children initially get used to the fact that nothing depends on them, and this manifests itself not only at the everyday level - very often they cannot even answer the question of whether they want to eat, which subsequently leads to the fact that their self-determination in more important matters it is very difficult. To the questions “who do you want to be” or “where do you want to study next,” they often answer “I don’t know” or “where they will tell you.” It is clear that in reality they often do not have the opportunity to choose, however, very often they cannot make this choice, even having such an opportunity.
Emotional deprivation occurs due to insufficient emotionality of adults communicating with the child. He does not experience an emotional response to his behavior - joy when meeting, dissatisfaction if he does something wrong. Thus, the child does not get the opportunity to learn to regulate behavior, he stops trusting his feelings, and the child begins to avoid eye contact. And it is precisely this type of deprivation that significantly complicates the adaptation of a child taken into a family.
Social deprivation occurs due to the fact that children do not have the opportunity to learn, understand the practical meaning and try various social roles in the game - father, mother, grandmother, grandfather, kindergarten teacher, store salesperson, other adults. Additional complexity is introduced by the closed nature of the child care facility system. Children know much less about the world around them than those living in a family.
The next reason could be disruption of family relationships(if the child lived in the family for some time). It is very important in what conditions the child lived in the family, how his relationship with his parents was built, whether there was an emotional attachment in the family, or whether there was rejection or rejection of the child by the parents. Whether the child was wanted or not. A paradoxical fact at first glance is that for the formation of a new attachment, the situation is much more favorable when the child grew up in a family where there was an attachment between parent and child. Conversely, a child who grew up without knowing attachment has great difficulty in becoming attached to new parents. The child’s experience plays an important role here: if a child has had a favorable experience of building a relationship with an adult, it is more difficult for him to experience the moment of breakup, but in the future it is easier for him to build a normal relationship with another significant adult.
Another reason may be violence experienced by children(physical, sexual or psychological). Children who have experienced domestic violence may nonetheless be very attached to their abusive parents. This is explained primarily by the fact that for most children growing up in families where violence is the norm, until a certain age (usually early adolescence), such relationships are the only known ones. Children who have been abused for many years and from an early age may expect the same or similar mistreatment in a new relationship and may exhibit some of the already learned strategies for coping.
The fact is that most children experiencing family violence, as a rule, on the one hand, become so withdrawn into themselves that they do not go to visit and do not see other models of family relationships. On the other hand, they are forced to unconsciously maintain the illusion of the normality of such family relationships in order to preserve their psyche. However, many of them are characterized by attracting the negative attitude of their parents. This is another way to attract attention - negative attention, for many this is the only attention they can get from their parents. Therefore, lying, aggression (including auto-aggression), theft, and demonstrative violation of the rules accepted in the house are typical for them. Self-injury can also be a way for a child to “return” himself to reality - in this way he “brings” himself to reality in those situations when something (place, sound, smell, touch) “returns” him to a situation of violence.
Psychological violence is humiliation, insult, bullying and ridicule of a child that is constant in a given family. This is the most difficult form of violence to identify and evaluate, since the boundaries of violence and nonviolence in this case are quite speculative. However, the practice of psychological counseling shows that most children and adolescents are quite capable of separating irony and ridicule, reproaches and lectures from bullying and humiliation. Psychological violence is also dangerous because it is not one-time violence, but an established pattern of behavior, i.e. This is a way of relationships in the family. A child who was subjected to psychological violence (ridiculed, humiliated) in the family was not only the object of such a model of behavior, but also a witness to such relationships in the family. As a rule, this violence is directed not only at the child, but also at the married partner.
Neglect (not meeting physical or emotional needs child) can also cause attachment disorders. Neglect is the chronic failure of a parent or caregiver to provide for the child's basic needs for food, clothing, shelter, medical care, education, protection and supervision. (care means satisfying not only physical but also emotional needs). Neglect also includes inconsistent or improper care for a child at home or in an institution.
For example, two children, 8 and 12 years old, ended up in a shelter (Tomilino) because their mother went to stay with relatives and left them at home. The children were forced to survive on their own. They got food themselves, since their mother did not leave any food for them at home, they stole and begged. They themselves took care of their health as best they could and did not go to school.
It is quite common for children to be “forgotten” to be picked up from kindergarten or hospital. An equally common situation is when a child, even from a seemingly prosperous family, is deliberately admitted to the hospital for holidays or vacations (we are not talking about emergency operations). Moreover, parents may insist that the child be admitted for the New Year, and even kept in the hospital longer, some openly say: “So that we can rest.”
Has a strong influence on the formation of attachment sudden or painful separation from a parent(due to his death, illness or hospitalization, etc.). The situation of unexpected separation is very painful for a child at any age. At the same time, the most difficult situation for a child is the death of a parent or person caring for the child, especially violent death. When any person, and especially a child, is faced with the death of a loved one, it appears to him from two sides: on the one hand, a person witnesses the death of a loved one, and on the other, he realizes that he himself is mortal.
Special attention should be paid to situations where a child witnesses violence by another person against a relative or person close to the child (violence, murder, suicide). These situations are the most traumatic for children. In addition to such traumatic factors as an immediate threat to the health or life of a loved one and the child himself, a traumatic circumstance is the child’s feeling of helplessness. Children who have suffered such trauma in most cases are characterized by the manifestation of a number of symptoms. The child cannot get rid of the memories of what happened, he has dreams about what happened - obsessive replay. The child “with all his might” (subconsciously) avoids anything that could remind him of the unpleasant event - people, places, conversations - avoidance. Impaired functioning - difficulties in establishing social contacts and studying.
Frequent moves or relocation of the child may also affect the formation of attachment. For almost all children, moving is a very difficult period in life. However, this period is most difficult for children over 5-6 years old. It is difficult for them to imagine that they need to go somewhere; they do not know whether it will be good or bad there, or how their life in the new place will differ from the old one. Children may feel lost in a new place; they don't know if they will be able to find friends there.
The risk of attachment disorders increases if the listed factors occur during the first two years of a child’s life, as well as when several prerequisites are combined simultaneously.
For adoptive parentsNot You should expect that the child will immediately demonstrate a positive emotional attachment upon entering the family. At best, he will show anxiety when you are absent or try to leave the house. But this does not mean that attachment cannot be formed.
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In conclusion, I would like to note that most of the problems associated with the formation of attachment in a child taken into a family are surmountable, and overcoming them depends primarily on the parents.
Federal Agency for Education
State educational institution of higher professional education
FAR EASTERN STATE UNIVERSITY
INSTITUTE OF PSYCHOLOGY AND SOCIAL SCIENCES
Psychology faculty
Department of Applied Psychology
The influence of maternal-child attachment
on the mental development of the child
COURSE WORK
Vladivostok 2010
Introduction
1 Modern ideas about attachment
1.2 Attachment theories
1.3. Dynamics of attachment formation
2 Study of the influence of various types of maternal-child attachment on the psycho-emotional development of the child
2.1 Types of child-maternal attachment and methods for assessing them
2.2 Classification and clinical manifestations of attachment disorders
Conclusion
Bibliography
Introduction
The term “attachment”, introduced by Bowlby J. (1973), to establish the quality of this union, the connection between a child and an adult, is multifaceted. How attachment is formed and how it functions is still a poorly understood issue.
Attachment in its general form can be defined as “a close connection between two people, independent of their location and lasting over time and serving as a source of their emotional closeness.” Attachment is the desire for intimacy with another person and the attempt to maintain this closeness. Deep emotional connections with significant people serve as the basis and source of vitality for each of us. For children, they are a vital necessity in the literal sense of the word: babies left without emotional warmth can die, despite normal care, and in older children the development process is disrupted. Strong attachments to parents enable the child to develop basic trust in the world and positive self-esteem.
For the first time, interest in deviations in the mental development of young children was shown in the first half of the 20th century. Clinical and psychological studies of infants and young children originate in the psychoanalytic works of Freud Z. (1939). Psychoanalysts paid great attention to the problems of early childhood, primarily from the point of view of assessing child-mother relationships. Bowlby J. (1973), Spitz R.A. (1968) emphasized that the mother-child relationship is based on the infant’s dependence on the parent, and studied the mechanisms of infant frustration caused by disturbances in the relationship with the mother.
Lorenz K. (1952), Tinbergen N. (1956) considered a strong emotional connection in the mother-child dyad as an innate motivational system. It was precisely by disturbances in the formation of this system that they explained the emerging pathology at an early age.
In recent years, the number of works concerning the formation of maternal-child relationships in infants and their influence on the process of mental development of the child has increased (Batuev A.S. (1999), Avdeeva N.N. (1997), Smirnova E.O. (1995) ).
Object of study: the phenomenon of attachment.
Subject of study: the influence of the type of attachment of a child to his mother on his psycho-emotional development.
Goal of the work– analyze the influence of the type of attachment of a child to his mother on his psycho-emotional development.
To achieve the goal, it is necessary to solve the following tasks:
1. Consider modern ideas about attachment.
2. Investigate the influence of various types of child-maternal attachment on the psycho-emotional development of the child.
The course work is presented on 37 pages and consists of an introduction, two chapters, a conclusion and a list of references. The bibliography consists of 21 sources, of which 8 are foreign and 13 are domestic authors. The course work presents one table “External working models of oneself and other people.” The first chapter examines contemporary ideas about attachment. The second chapter analyzes the results of studies by different authors on the influence of various types of child-maternal attachment on the psycho-emotional development of the child.
1. Modern ideas about attachment
1.1 Factors influencing the formation of attachment
The relationship between mother and child at an early age depends on the interaction of a complex multicomponent system of factors, each of which plays a large role in the implementation of the child’s innate behavioral programs. In the first months of life, the baby grows and develops in conditions of psychophysiological “symbiosis” with the mother. From a physiological point of view, a mother’s attachment to a child arises due to maternal dominance, which is formed long before the birth of the child. It is based on a gestational dominant, which subsequently turns into a generic, and then lactation dominant.
In an infant, the emergence of attachment is facilitated by the innate need for connection with a person who ensures the satisfaction of his biological needs for warmth, food, physical protection, as well as psychological comfort, which forms in the child a sense of security and trust in the world around him.
Child-maternal attachment is characterized by the presence of a reliable and stable relationship between the child and the adults caring for him. Signs of a secure attachment are the following:
1) the attachment figure can calm the child better than others;
2) the child turns to the attachment figure for comfort more often than to other adults;
3) in the presence of an attachment figure, the child is less likely to experience fear.
A child’s ability to form attachment is largely determined by hereditary factors. However, it depends no less on the sensitivity of surrounding adults to the needs of the child and on the social attitudes of the parents.
Child-maternal attachment occurs in utero, based on prenatal experience. An important role in the formation of maternal feelings in pregnant women is played, according to Brutman V.I. (1997), Radionova M.S. (1997), bodily and emotional sensations that arise in the process of bearing an unborn child. These sensations are usually called the bodily-emotional complex. The latter is a complex of experiences associated with an emotionally positive assessment of the bodily changes of a pregnant woman. In the mind of the expectant mother, a bodily-sensual boundary between her body and the fetus is outlined, which contributes to the emergence of the image of the child. When carrying an unwanted pregnancy, the image of the baby, as a rule, is not integrated and is psychologically rejected. The child, in turn, already in the prenatal period is able to perceive changes in the emotional state of the mother and respond to it by changing the rhythm of movements, heartbeats, etc.
The quality of attachment depends on the motivational aspect of pregnancy. In the hierarchy of motives, the basic instinct is parental instinct. Psychosocial tendencies are of additional and significant importance - confirmation of one’s community with people through the implementation of the reproductive function. Environmental and psychological motives include: ensuring stable marital and family relationships, correcting their violations, resolving personal problems associated with rejection in the parental family, realizing a sense of empathy.
The formation of child-maternal attachment is influenced by the relationship between spouses. Parents who are unhappy in their marriage at the time of the birth of a child are, as a rule, insensitive to his needs, have an incorrect understanding of the role of adults in raising children, and are not able to establish close emotional relationships with their children. These parents are much more likely than those who are happily married to believe that their children have “difficult personalities.”
The early postnatal experience of child-mother interactions is also important for the process of attachment formation. It is possible thanks to the ethological mechanism of imprinting (instant imprinting). The first two hours after birth are a special “sensitive” period for the formation of attachment. The baby is in a state of maximum receptivity to information received from the surrounding world.
The emergence of a mother's attachment to a newborn has been confirmed by numerous experiments on the recognition of women who have just given birth to their children and the specifics of early child-mother interaction. Special studies of dyadic interaction between child and mother have shown that on average 69% of mothers are able to recognize their newly born children by touching only the dorsal surface of their palm, if they have previously spent at least one hour with the child. Children 2-6 days old in a choice situation significantly more often prefer the smell of their own mother’s milk.
The phenomenon of visual synchronization of child-maternal behavior has been revealed. It has been shown that mother and newborn have a strong tendency to simultaneously look at the same object, with the child playing the dominant role, and the mother “adjusting” to his actions. The ability of a newborn to move synchronously with the rhythm of an adult’s speech was also discovered. It is shown that when simultaneously looking into each other’s eyes, the movements of the mother’s head and the child’s head are also harmonized and outwardly resemble a “waltz.”
Such a biological preference by the mother for her child, the feeling of “mine”, “native” underlies the mother’s willingness to show positive feelings towards her child, support him and take care of him.
There are some features of the visual perception of children by adults that leave an imprint on the emotional attitude towards them and on the emergence of parents’ attachment to their children. Thus, Lorenz K. (1952) drew attention to the fact that the facial features of infants are perceived by adults as cute and pleasant. Older boys and girls also respond positively to infantile facial features. Girls' interest in babies increases sharply from the beginning of puberty. Thus, the infant's face may serve as a selective stimulus to attract adult attention, thereby promoting parent-child attachment.
The formation of infants' attachment to their parents in the first months of life is based on some instinctive forms of children's behavior, interpreted by adults as signs of communication. In the attachment theory of Bowlby J. - Ainsworth M. (1973), such forms of behavior are called “patterns of attachment.” The most important of them are crying and smiling. A smile is initially reflexive in nature and occurs in response to nonspecific influences. However, very quickly, from the age of two months, it becomes a special signal for adults, indicating a desire to communicate with them. Crying in the first months of life is a specific signal of a child’s discomfort, which is selectively addressed to those adults who care for him. In the first months of life, a baby’s crying has characteristic differences depending on the cause that caused it.
Thus, the formation of attachment in the mother-child dyad begins in the prenatal period. This depends on the formation of a bodily-emotional complex in the mother. When carrying an unwanted child, its image is not integrated into the mother’s consciousness and an unstable attachment is formed.
1.2 Attachment theories
Bowlby J. (1973), the founder of “Attachment Theory”, his follower Ainsworth M. (1979) and others (Falberg V. (1995), Spitz R.A. (1968), as well as Avdeeva N.N. (1997) , Ershova T.I. and Mikirtumov B.E. (1995)), proved the importance of attachments and interpersonal relationships between a child and parents (persons replacing them), the importance of forming a union between a child and an adult, ensuring the stability (duration) of relationships and the quality of communication between child and adult for the normal development of the child and the development of his identity.
Attachment theory has roots in the psychoanalysis of Freud Z. (1939) and the theory of stage development of Erikson E. (1950), the theory of secondary reinforcement and social learning of Dollard J. and Miller N. (1938). However, the most powerful influence is the ethological approach of Lorenz K. (1952), who extended the ideas of Lorenz K. (1952) about imprinting to humans. Bowlby J. (1973) developed these ideas and identified the increased importance for the child’s mental development of establishing long-term warm emotional relationships with the mother.
Observational and clinical data have shown that the absence or rupture of such relationships leads to serious distress and problems associated with the mental development and behavior of the child. Bowlby J. (1973) was the first researcher to link the development of attachment to child adaptation and survival.
Within the framework of ethology, hormonal changes in the postpartum period in the mother are considered as attachment mechanisms (Klaus M., Quennell J. (1976)), which determines the presence of a sensitive period of early attachment between the child and the mother, affecting further relationships in the dyad. The term bonding was coined to describe this relationship. Subsequent work examined the influence on the formation of attachments not only of the mother’s satisfaction of the child’s basic needs, but also of higher needs, such as the formation of certain relationships, the result of which is attachment (Bowlby J. (1973), Crittenden P. (1992), Ainsworth M. (1979)).
One of the most famous is currently considered the theory of Bowlby J. - Ainsworth M. (1973), which has been actively developed over the past 30-40 years. This theory arose at the intersection of psychoanalysis and ethology and assimilated many other developmental concepts - behavioral learning theory, representative models of Piaget J. (1926), etc.
The theory of attachment is based on the proposition that any person’s relationship to the world around him and to himself is initially mediated by the relationship between two people, which subsequently determine the entire mental make-up of the individual. The central concept of attachment theory is the “object of attachment.” For most children, the primary attachment figure is the mother, but genetic relatedness does not play a decisive role in this case. If the primary attachment figure provides the child with security, reliability and confidence in protection, then the child will be able to establish relationships with other people in the future.
However, until the basic need for a primary attachment figure is satisfied, a person will not be able to establish a secondary attachment with other people - peers, teachers, people of the opposite sex. The attachment system includes two opposing tendencies in a child’s behavior - the desire for something new and the search for support. The attachment system is activated when the child is faced with the unknown, and almost does not work in a familiar, safe environment.
Bowlby J.'s (1973) attachment theory has evoked a lot of responses from researchers and practical psychologists to this day. Some of them follow the path of development and differentiation of the classical concept of attachment, others look for points of contact between attachment theory and other areas of psychology, and others study the physiological basis of attachment behavior in the framework of interdisciplinary research.
Head D. and Like B. (1997, 2001) based on Bowlby’s attachment theory, created their development, calling it the theory of the dynamics of attachment and joint interest. “Shared interest” here refers to a wide range of phenomena - from the “joint attention” of mother and infant to shared values among adolescents and adults. This theory is applicable to the practice of working with children who have serious disturbances in attachment and interpersonal relationships with family or caregivers.
Attachment theory has often been criticized for its comparative narrowness, its inability to explain complex inter- and intrapersonal phenomena such as creativity or sexuality. From the works of Bowlby J. (1973) it is not entirely clear the place of the child’s broad social relationships - with the extended family, with peers, with society - in the development of attachment, so Head D. and Like B. (1997, 2001) tried to fill these gaps by describing five interrelated behavioral systems. All these systems are instinctive, internally motivated, activated by certain stimuli and unfold in the sphere of interpersonal relationships:
1) parental system, including Bowlby's views on caring behavior. Head D. and Lyke B. (1997, 2001) expanded it to include a subsystem that encourages parents to gradually reinforce and develop the child's autonomy and exploration, and called it the growth and development component (the teaching aspect of care);
2) the system of need for an attachment figure according to Bowlby J. (1973);
3) a research system that includes, in addition to those caring for the child, common interests with peers, both in childhood and in adulthood;
4) affective (sexual) system, developing in communication with peers;
5) the self-defense system, which is activated when fear of rejection, shame or harsh treatment arises or when the attachment figure appears insufficiently caring and protective.
For example, if the parent himself has experience of insecure attachment, he has increased activity of the self-defense system while low activity of the exploratory system. Therefore, the child's need for him as an attachment figure may be mistakenly perceived as a threat to the well-being of the parent, which leads to even greater self-protection and oppression of the parental system (Head D. and Lyke B., 1999). This model explains the transmission of patterns of child abuse and neglect from generation to generation.
According to Bowlby J. (1973), psychotherapeutic work with adults should be structured so that a new healthy relationship with the therapist has a positive impact on the attachment patterns that the client has learned from past experiences. From the point of view of Head D. and Lyke B., (1999), the goal of psychotherapy is to restore the harmonious and coordinated functioning of all five systems.
Attachment Theory and Systemic Family Therapy Erdam P. and Caferri T. (2003) argue that “for those of us in full-time practice, attachments point to the origins of all relationships. Family systems theory describes the structure of relationships in which we become involved later in life." The key point of both theories is “the concept of connection, which itself requires the interaction of at least two partners who encourage and stop each other in an intricate “dance”, gradually adapting to it.”
The connections have the following structure, taking into account aspects of both theories:
1) secure attachment with the ability to autonomy and an adaptive family system;
2) avoidant attachment and fragmented family system;
3) ambivalent attachment and confused family system.
The main tool of family narrative attachment theory is the stories that parents (usually adoptive parents) tell their child after undergoing special training from a therapist. Es May J. (2005) formulated 4 main types of stories that consistently help a child create a new attachment.
An affirmation story: a first-person account of what every child deserves from the moment of conception—what it feels like to be wanted, loved, cared for. This story should not replace the child's real story, but it does help develop a positive attitude towards oneself and others. Parents share feelings, thoughts and dreams about what the birth and early childhood of a child would be like if he were born into their family. The story-statement is also useful for the parents themselves: they imagine and experience the experience of caring for a helpless baby, which helps to distract from the child’s bad behavior in the present and realize the path of education that would lead to well-being in those areas that in real life turned out to be problematic. The children themselves often say: “Yes, that’s exactly what I need!”
The growth story continues the themes of love and caring introduced in the affirmation story, and also teaches the child about how children adapt to difficult situations and learn to cope with difficulties at different age stages. This helps the child realize his capabilities and learn to appreciate what he has acquired with age, rather than using regressive behavior. The affirmation story and development story are told in the first person.
The trauma story, unlike the first two, is not aimed at establishing attachment, but at overcoming the traumatic experience of the past. It is told from the third person about the hero-protagonist, who “lived a long time ago” in the same situation as the child himself. By telling it, the parent demonstrates to the child his empathic understanding of his feelings, experiences, memories and intentions. Also, a story about trauma helps a child overcome ideas of self-blame (“Mom started drinking because I behaved badly”) and separate the problem from the child himself.
Stories about a child who has overcome challenges and achieved success are told in the third person and help the child cope with everyday challenges that may seem difficult at first.
Fonagy P. et al (1996) believe that many abused children deny the opportunity to discuss the motives and intentions of their parents in order to avoid thoughts that the parents deliberately intended to harm him. In this case, reflective dialogue with adoptive parents about what thoughts and feelings cause people’s behavior helps to develop a sense of security and secure attachment. During joint storytelling, mutual “adjustment” between parent and child occurs, which is the basis for the formation of attachment.
Researcher Tsvan R.A., (1998; 1999) showed that the experiences in the process of telling a story that is significant for a person are in no way inferior to the experiences of a participant or witness of real events. To do this, the narrator must identify with the protagonist (main character) so that the content of the story unfolds for him “here and now.” This practice allows you to “travel” into the past and future. Listening to and discussing stories about his life and the lives of children like him helps a child make sense of his life experiences, even the negative aspects of them. By developing the ability to discuss his thoughts and feelings with his parents, the child gradually internalizes such complex concepts as kindness, compassion, reflection; learns decentration; takes the position of the author of his own history, for whom “it is never too late to have a happy childhood” and who is able to plan for the future.
Practice has shown that the ability of parents to help their child develop a secure attachment through stories is not associated with the intelligence and education of the parents, as well as with their positive childhood experiences. Success depended on the parent's ability to accept that the child's behavior problems were rooted in difficult experiences rather than inherent, and to focus on loving, caring, and protective relationships instead of behavior problems. The therapist's recognition of the parent's own competence also plays an important role.
Although the narrative therapy of White M. and Epston D. (1990) and family narrative attachment therapy Es May J. (2005) have some common techniques and theoretical foundations, there are a number of important differences between them. For example, although family narrative attachment therapy Es May J. (2005) serves to shift the child's attention from negative patterns of relationships and behavior to resourceful ones, similar to the retelling technique in narrative therapy (White M. and Epston D. (1990)), family narrative therapy Attachment Es May J. (2005) uses stories specifically aimed at correcting the negative aspects of the child's condition, while narrative therapy sees the purpose of retelling as an open-minded joint exploration of possibilities.
The fact is that narrative therapy is a postmodern, social-constructivist practice that questions “ultimate truths” and supports the process of engaged inquiry White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). In contrast, family narrative attachment therapy Es May J. (2005) is based on the belief in the child’s unchanging innate need for attachment relationships. That is why therapy sets clearly fixed goals, derived from classical attachment theory (Bowlby J., (1973, 1980, 1982); George, Dr. and Solomon F., (1999) and research on the relationship between attachment experiences in early childhood and the characteristics of meaning of this experience in stories about it (Breferton I., (1987, 1990); Fonagy P. (1996), Steele M, Moran J., (1991); Solomon F. (1995)).
At the same time, family narrative attachment therapy Es May J. (2005) differs from most other approaches aimed at correcting attachment disorders, many of which include open reactions of shame and anger, as well as forced holding (holding the child in an embrace) ( Dozer J., 2003).
Of great importance for understanding the nature of child-maternal attachment is the position of Vygotsky L.S. (1997) that any contact of an infant with the outside world is mediated by an adult environment that is significant for the child. A child’s attitude towards the environment is inevitably refracted by his attitude towards another person; in every situation of his interaction with the world, another person is explicitly or implicitly present.
According to psychoanalytic views, a mother's relationship with her child is largely determined by her life history. For the future mother to accept the baby, the formation of its image in the woman’s imagination is of great importance. Violation of attachment can be facilitated by a woman’s reality-distorting “fantasies” regarding her child. The role of the mother for the processes of mental development of the child is, in principle, assessed ambiguously.
For example, Klein M. (1932) described the so-called “depressive position” - the phenomenon of normal child behavior at 3-5 months. This position consists in the alienation of the child from the mother, in the feeling, along with a feeling of calm and security, of weakness and dependence on her. The child is noted to be insecure about “possessing” the mother and has an ambivalent attitude towards her.
Thus, attachment theory has roots in the psychoanalysis of Freud Z. (1939) and the theory of stage development of Erikson E. (1950), the theory of secondary reinforcement and social learning of Dollard J. and Miller N. (1938). But its direct creator is J. Bowlby (1973), who developed scales to determine the type of child-maternal attachment.
1.3 Dynamics of attachment formation
There are 3 main periods of formation of child-maternal attachment in the first years of life:
1) the period up to 3 months, when infants show interest and seek emotional closeness with all adults, both familiar and unfamiliar;
2) period 3-6 months. During this period, the baby begins to distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar adults. Gradually, the child distinguishes the mother from the surrounding objects, giving her preference. The separation of the mother from the adult environment is based on the preference of her voice, face, hands and occurs the faster, the more adequately the mother reacts to the signals given by the baby;
3) period 7-8 months. A selective attachment to the nearest adult is formed. There is anxiety and fear when communicating with unfamiliar adults, as defined by Spitz R.A. (1968) - “fears of the 8th month of life.”
A child's attachment to his mother is strongest at 1-1.5 years. It decreases somewhat by 2.5-3 years, when other trends are clearly visible in the child’s behavior - the desire for independence and self-affirmation associated with the development of self-awareness.
Schaefer R. (1978) showed that child-parent attachment in the first 18 months of a child’s life goes through the following stages in its development.
1) Asocial stage (0-6 weeks). Newborns and infants one and a half months old are “asocial”, since in many situations of communication with one or more adults they have predominantly one reaction, in most cases a protest reaction. After one and a half months, babies usually prefer to interact with several adults.
2) Stage of undifferentiated attachments (6 weeks - 7 months). At this stage, babies quickly become satisfied with the presence of any adult. They calm down when they are held.
3) Stage of specific attachments (from 7-9 months of life). At this age, babies begin to protest when they are separated from a close adult, especially their mother. When they part, they get upset and often accompany their mother to the door. After the mother returns, the babies greet her very warmly. At the same time, babies are often wary in the presence of strangers. These features indicate the formation of primary attachment.
The formation of primary attachment is important for the development of a child’s exploratory behavior. The primary attachment figure is used by the child as a safe “base” for exploring the world around him.
4) Stage of multiple attachments. A few weeks after the emergence of primary attachment to the mother, the same feeling arises in relation to other close people (father, brothers, sisters, grandparents). At the age of 1.5 years, very few children are attached to only one person. Children who have multiple attachments usually develop a hierarchy of attachment objects. This or that close person is more or less preferable in a certain communication situation. Different attachment figures are used by children for different purposes. For example, most children prefer their mother's company when they are scared or upset. They often prefer fathers as play partners.
There are 4 models of multiple attachment. The first is called “monotropic”. In this case, the mother is the only object of affection. Only with it is the further socialization of the child connected.
The second model - “hierarchical” - also assumes the leading role of the mother. However, secondary attachment figures are also important. They can replace the mother in conditions of her short-term absence.
The third, the “independent” model, assumes the presence of different, equally significant attachment objects, each of which interacts with the child only when the main caregivers have been with him for a long time.
The fourth - “integrative” model - assumes the child’s independence from one or another attachment figure.
Thus, there are several classifications, according to which a child’s attachment is formed from birth to two and a half years.
2. Study of the influence of various types of maternal-child attachment on the psycho-emotional development of the child
2.1 Types of child-maternal attachment and methods for assessing them
A generally accepted method for assessing attachment and determining its type is the method of Ainsworth M. (1979). The experiment, divided into eight episodes, examines the child's behavior when separated from his mother, its impact on the infant's behavior, and the mother's ability to calm the child after her return. Particularly indicative is the change in the child’s cognitive activity upon separation from his mother. To do this, the child remains with an unfamiliar adult and a new toy. The criterion for assessing attachment is the behavior of the child after the mother leaves and returns. In a study of attachment using the method of Ainsworth M. (1979), 4 groups of children were identified (they correspond to 4 types of attachment):
1) type A - children do not object to their mother leaving and continue to play, not paying attention to her return. Children with such behavior are designated as “indifferent” or “insecurely attached.” The attachment type is called “insecure-avoidant.” It is conditionally pathological. Found in 20% of children. After separation from their mother, “insecurely attached” children are not bothered by the presence of a stranger. They avoid communication with him just as they avoid communication with their mother.
2) type B - children are not very upset after their mother leaves, but are drawn to her immediately after her return. They strive for physical contact with their mother and easily calm down next to her. This is a “secure” attachment type. This type of attachment is observed in 65% of children.
3) type C - children are very upset after their mother leaves. After her return, they initially cling to their mother, but almost immediately push her away. This type of attachment is considered pathological (“unreliable affective”, “manipulative” or “ambivalent” type of attachment). Found in 10% of children.
4) type D - after the mother returns, the children either “freeze” in one position or “run away” from the mother trying to approach. This is a “disorganized, unoriented” type of attachment (pathological). Occurs in 5-10% of children.
Children with ambivalent attachment, in most cases, have “inhibited” character traits. Their parents are often not suitable teachers by temperament. Adults react to the child’s needs depending on their own mood, either too weakly or too energetically. The baby tries to fight such an uneven attitude towards him on the part of his parents, but to no avail, and, as a result, becomes indifferent to communicating with them.
There are two types of improper child care that increase the risk of developing avoidant attachment. In the first option, mothers are impatient with their children and insensitive to their needs. Such mothers often cannot restrain their negative emotions towards their children, which leads to distance and alienation between mother and child. Ultimately, mothers simply stop holding their children, and children, in turn, do not seek close physical contact with them. Such mothers are more likely to be self-centered and rejecting of their children.
In the second variant of improper care, leading to avoidant attachment, parents are distinguished by an overly attentive and scrupulous attitude towards their children. Children are unable to accept such “excessive” care.
“Disoriented disorganized” attachment occurs when a child is afraid of physical punishment or is worried about the fear of being rejected by his parents. As a result, the child avoids communication with parents. This is a consequence of the fact that parents have an extremely contradictory attitude towards the child, and children do not know what to expect from adults at each subsequent moment.
Mothers of children with an avoidant attachment style can be characterized as “closed-formal.” They adhere to an authoritarian parenting style, trying to impose their system of demands on the child. These mothers do not so much educate as re-educate, often using book recommendations.
According to the psychological characteristics of mothers of children with ambivalent attachment, Anisimova T.I. (2008) distinguishes two groups: “ego-oriented” and “inconsistent-contradictory” mothers. The first, with high self-esteem and insufficient criticality, demonstrate high emotional lability, which leads to contradictory relationships with the child (from excessive, sometimes even unnecessary attention to ignoring).
The latter perceive their children as especially sick and requiring additional care. However, these children experience a lack of affection and attention due to the constant feeling of anxiety and internal tension in the mother. Such “free-floating anxiety” leads to inconsistency and ambivalence in communication with the child.
The formation of attachment depends to a large extent on the care and attention that the mother gives to the child. Mothers of securely attached infants are attentive and sensitive to their children's needs. When communicating with children, they often use means of emotional expression. If an adult understands the child well, the baby feels cared for, comfortable, and securely attached to the adult.
Sylvain M. (1982), Vienda M. (1986) showed that of such maternal qualities as the ability to encourage the child to play, emotional availability, stimulation of cognitive activity, flexibility in parenting style, the most important for the development of secure attachment is emotional availability. It includes the ability to share the feelings of the child as the main initiator of child-mother communication.
The personal characteristics of the mother, influencing her attitude towards the child, are considered as the main (“classical”) determinants of secure attachment. They directly or indirectly influence the formation of attachment in a child. Their direct influence is associated with the mother's sensitivity to the signals given by the baby. It manifests itself in typical interaction situations. The indirect influence of a woman’s personal characteristics is associated with her satisfaction with the role of a mother, which, in turn, largely depends on her relationship with her husband.
Marital relationships significantly influence the type of parent-child attachment. As a rule, the birth of a child leads to a change in the existing relationship between spouses. However, parents who are securely attached to their children are generally more satisfied with the quality of their marital relationships, both before and after the birth of their child, compared to parents who are insecurely attached to their children. There is a hypothesis according to which it is early marital status that is the decisive factor for the establishment of one or another type of attachment.
Indifferent insecure attachment (avoidant) is formed in a child during inconsistent, disharmonious interactions between him and his mother, especially during feeding. In this case, the mother’s inability to support the child’s initiative is combined with an increase in her own activity, to which the baby does not react in any way.
The symbiotic type of attachment is formed when the mother is unable to respond to sound signals and pre-speech vocalizations of her child. With age, these children develop more anxious reactions, since the mother reacts to them only during visual communication (to gestures made by the child). If such a child is left alone in the room, then he can no longer communicate with the mother who is in the next room.
A similar situation is observed in children with dual attachment types. Their mothers also react only to the gesture given by the child and are insensitive to the vocal reactions of the children. Children with this type of attachment often experience anxious reactions the moment they lose sight of their mother. Only visual control of the mother's presence helps them gain a sense of calm and security.
Thus, during the study of attachment using the method of Ainsworth M. (1979), 4 groups of children were identified (they correspond to 4 types of attachment):
type A - “insecurely attached.”
type B - “securely attached”
type C - “unreliable affective type of attachment”
type D - “disorganized, unoriented attachment type”
In addition to these types, we can also talk about the “symbiotic” type of attachment. In an experiment using the method of Ainsworth M. (1979), children do not let their mother go even one step. Complete separation thus becomes practically impossible.
2.2 Classification and clinical manifestations of attachment disorders
Attachment disorders are characterized by the absence or distortion of normal bonds between the child and the caregiver. Features of the development of such children are slowing or incorrect development of the emotional-volitional sphere, which has a secondary effect on the entire maturation process.
Types of disturbed attachment, correlated with the classification of Ainsworth M. (1979):
1) Negative (neurotic) attachment - the child constantly “clings” to his parents, seeks “negative” attention, provoking parents to punish and trying to irritate them. Appears both as a result of neglect and overprotection.
2) Ambivalent - the child constantly demonstrates an ambivalent attitude towards a close adult: “attachment-rejection”, sometimes he is affectionate, sometimes he is rude and avoids. At the same time, differences in treatment are frequent, halftones and compromises are absent, and the child himself cannot explain his behavior and clearly suffers from it. It is typical for children whose parents were inconsistent and hysterical: they either caressed, then exploded and beat the child - doing both violently and without objective reasons, thereby depriving the child of the opportunity to understand their behavior and adapt to it.
3) Avoidant - the child is gloomy, withdrawn, does not allow trusting relationships with adults and children, although he may love animals. The main motive is “you can’t trust anyone.” This can happen if a child has experienced a very painful break in a relationship with a close adult and the grief has not passed, the child is “stuck” in it; or if the breakup is perceived as a “betrayal”, and adults are perceived as “abusing” children’s trust and their power.
4) Disorganized - these children have learned to survive by breaking all the rules and boundaries of human relationships, abandoning affection in favor of power: they do not need to be loved, they prefer to be feared. Characteristic of children who have been subjected to systematic abuse and violence and have never had attachment experience.
The criteria for attachment disorders are described in the American Classification of Mental and Behavioral Disorders - ICD-10 in section F9 "Behavioral and emotional disorders, usually beginning in childhood and adolescence." The criteria for attachment disorder according to ICD-10 are:
Age under 5 years, inadequate or altered social and family relationships as the cause of the following:
a) age up to 5 years;
b) inadequate or altered social and family relationships due to:
Lack of age-related interest of the child in contact with family members or other people;
Reactions of fear or excessive sensitivity in the presence of strangers, which do not disappear when the mother or other relatives appear;
c) indiscriminate sociability (familiarity, inquisitive questions, etc.);
d) absence of somatic pathology, mental retardation, symptoms of early childhood autism.
There are 2 types of attachment disorders - reactive and disinhibited. Reactive attachment disorder is manifested by affective disturbances in response to changes in environmental conditions, especially during the period when adults separate from the child. Characterized by fearfulness and increased vigilance (“inhibited vigilance”) in the presence of strangers, which does not disappear with consolation. Children avoid communication, including with peers. The disorder can arise as a result of direct parental neglect, abuse, or serious mistakes in upbringing. The fundamental difference between this condition and early childhood autism is that under normal conditions the child retains vivid emotional reactions and the desire to communicate. If a child is brought up in conditions of parental deprivation, then increased anxiety and fearfulness can be smoothed out with the emotional responsiveness of educators. In reactive attachment disorder, there is no pathological withdrawal characteristic of autism, as well as an intellectual defect.
Disinhibited attachment disorder manifests itself as indiscriminate clinging to adults in a child aged 2–4 years.
Disorders similar to attachment disorders can occur with intellectual retardation and early childhood autism syndrome, which makes it necessary to differentiate between these conditions and attachment disorders.
Children with reduced body weight and a lack of interest in their surroundings most often suffer from nutritional malnutrition syndrome. However, a similar eating disorder can also occur in children who lack attention from their parents.
Thus, Types of disturbed attachment, correlated with the classification of Ainsworth M. (1979):
1) Negative (neurotic) attachment
2) Ambivalent
3) Avoidant
4) Disorganized
2.3 The influence of child-maternal attachment on the mental development of the child
Early child-parent attachment, formed by imprinting and imitating the behavior of parents, significantly influences the child’s ability to adequately socialize at school and older ages and acquire correct behavioral stereotypes.
Various variants of violation of parent-child attachment significantly influence the entire subsequent development of the child, affect the nature of the child’s relationship with the outside world, determine the ability to form secondary attachment to friends, people of the opposite sex, teachers, etc.
Already at an early age, children who have been separated from their parents for a long time may experience a refusal to communicate with them and negative emotions when trying to courtship.
There is a link between early parental deprivation in infancy and deviant behavior in adolescence. In particular, boys raised from an early age without a father cannot compensate for their aggressiveness. Girls raised at an early age by an antisocial mother are often unable to maintain a home and create comfort and goodwill in the family. Children raised in closed institutions, despite state support, respond to society with aggressiveness and criminality.
It is believed that a secure attachment between a child and his mother in the first years of life lays the foundation for a future sense of trust and security in the world around him.
Children who had a secure attachment to their mother at the age of 12-18 months are quite sociable at 2 years old and show intelligence in games. During adolescence, they are more attractive as business partners than children with insecure attachment. At the same time, children whose primary attachment is characterized as “disorganized” and “unoriented” are at risk of developing hostile and aggressive behavior in preschool age and being rejected by their peers.
Children who are securely attached to their mother at 15 months of age demonstrate pronounced leadership traits among their peer group at 3.5 years. They easily initiate play activities, are quite responsive to the needs and experiences of other children, and, in general, are very popular among other children. They are inquisitive, independent and energetic. On the contrary, children who at 15 months. had an insecure attachment to their mother, in kindergarten they showed social passivity and indecisiveness in involving other children in play activities. They are less curious and inconsistent in achieving their goals.
At the age of 4-5 years, children with secure attachment are also more inquisitive, sensitive in relationships with peers, and less dependent on adults than children with insecure attachment. During prepuberty, securely attached children have smooth relationships with peers and more close friends than insecurely attached children.
It is known that a child can fully develop even if a secure attachment is formed not with his parents, but with other people. There is evidence of the positive impact of children’s secure attachment to the staff of shelters and nurseries on their mental development in preschool and early school age. It was found that such children are quite competent in communicating with peers, often spend time in contact with other children and in social games. Their secure attachment to their caregivers was also manifested in the absence of aggression, hostility, and a generally positive attitude toward games and communication.
Moreover, it has been shown that in kindergarten, children who are securely attached to their teachers, but insecurely to their mother, show more play activity than those who are securely attached to their mother and insecurely to their kindergarten teachers.
Thus, the primary attachment to others formed in the first years of life is subsequently quite stable and constant over time. Most children display characteristic attachment characteristics to other people, both in infancy and during school age. Moreover, as adults, people often exhibit the same qualities in interpersonal relationships. For example, the relationships that young people establish with people of the opposite sex, as well as relationships with parents, can be divided into secure, ambivalent and avoidant. Middle-aged people feel the same way about their elderly parents.
This allows us, with a certain degree of convention, to talk about a special “adult” attachment, which is also divided into three types. In the first type, adults do not remember their elderly parents, which apparently indicates the presence of avoidant attachment in infancy. In the second type, adults remember their parents only when they get sick. At the same time, dual attachment in early childhood is not excluded. In the third type, adults have good relationships with their parents and understand them. At the same time, a safe, secure attachment is noted in infancy.
How does attachment influence a person's behavior in the future? Bowlby J. (1973) and Breferton I. (1999) believe that in the process of forming one or another type of attachment to parents, the child develops so-called “external working models of himself and other people.” In the future, they are used to interpret current events and develop a response. An attentive and sensitive attitude towards the child reassures him that other people are reliable partners (a positive working model of others). Inadequate parental care leads the child to believe that others are unreliable and he does not trust them (negative working model of others). In addition, the child develops a “working model of himself.” The child’s future level of independence and self-respect depends on its “positivity” or “negativity.”
As shown in Table 1, infants who develop a positive working model of themselves and their parents develop secure primary attachments, self-confidence, and self-sufficiency.
Table 1 External working models of self and other people
This contributes to the establishment of reliable, trusting relationships with friends and spouses in later life.
In contrast, a positive model of self coupled with a negative model of others (a possible result of the child successfully attracting the attention of an insensitive parent) predisposes to the formation of an avoidant attachment. A negative model of self and a positive model of others (a possibility that infants are unable to get their needs attended to) may be associated with ambivalent attachment and a weakness in forming secure emotional connections. And finally, a negative working model of both oneself and others contributes to the emergence of disoriented attachment and causes fear of close contact (both physical and emotional).
Some attachment researchers place priority not on the relationship between mother and child, but on the child’s strategies for adapting to maternal behavior. Thus, according to Crittenden P. (1992), the child’s sensitivity to one or another type of information received (intellectual or emotional) depends on the conditions of interaction between the child and the mother. A specific type of attachment corresponds to certain types of information processing. Depending on the adequate or inadequate response of the adult, the child’s behavior is reinforced or denied. In the second option, the child acquires the skill of hiding his experiences. These features are typical for children with an “avoidant” attachment type.
In the case when the mother outwardly shows positive emotions, but internally does not accept the child, it becomes difficult for the child to anticipate the mother's emotional reaction. A similar situation occurs in children who demonstrate dual attachment.
Thus, in the first years of life, children with a secure type of attachment use both intellect and emotions in relationships with adults. Children with an avoidant attachment type use mainly intellectual information, getting used to organizing their behavior without using the emotional component. Children with dual attachment do not trust intellectual information and use mainly emotional information.
By preschool age, fairly clear strategies for processing information and constructing appropriate behavior are developed. In some cases, intellectual or emotional information is not simply ignored, but also falsified.
At school age, some children already openly use deception, hiding the truth behind a façade of logic and endless arguments, and manipulate parents and peers. In adolescence, behavioral disorders of “manipulating” children manifest themselves, on the one hand, in the form of demonstrative behavior, and on the other, in attempts to avoid responsibility for their actions.
Thus, the primary attachment to others formed in the first years of life is subsequently quite stable and constant over time. Most children display characteristic attachment characteristics to other people, both in infancy and during school age.
Conclusion
According to the method of Ainsworth M. (1979), 4 groups of children were identified, which correspond to 4 types of attachment: 1) type A “indifferent” or “insecurely attached”; 2) B - “secure” type of attachment, 3) C - “unreliable affective”, “manipulative” or “ambivalent” type of attachment, 4) D - “disorganized non-oriented” type of attachment (pathological). In addition to these types, we can also talk about the “symbiotic” type of attachment.
Various variants of disturbed child-parent attachment, correlated with the classification of Ainsworth M. (1979) (negative (neurotic), ambivalent, avoidant, disorganized) significantly influence the entire subsequent development of the child, affect the nature of the child’s relationship with the outside world, and determine the ability to form secondary attachment to friends, people of the opposite sex, teachers, etc.
After analyzing various sources, we came to the conclusion that:
Children who had a secure attachment to their mother at the age of 12-18 months are quite sociable at 2 years old and show intelligence in games. During adolescence, they are more attractive as business partners than insecurely attached children;
Children whose primary attachment is characterized as “disorganized” and “unoriented” are at risk of developing hostile and aggressive behavior in preschool age and being rejected by their peers;
Children who are securely attached to their mother at 15 months of age, at 3.5 years old among a group of peers demonstrate pronounced leadership traits, are inquisitive, independent and energetic;
Children who at 15 months. had an insecure attachment to their mother, showed social passivity in kindergarten, were less inquisitive and inconsistent in achieving goals;
At the age of 4-5 years, children with secure attachment are more inquisitive, sensitive in relationships with peers, and less dependent on adults than children with insecure attachment;
During prepuberty, securely attached children have smooth relationships with peers and more close friends than insecurely attached children.
It has been established that in the first years of life, children with a secure type of attachment use both intellect and emotions in relationships with adults. Children with an avoidant attachment type use mainly intellectual information, getting used to organizing their behavior without using the emotional component. Children with dual attachment do not trust intellectual information and use mainly emotional information.
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It is human nature to strive for another person, to establish close relationships, to become attached to someone who shows warmth and care. It is in the nature of a child to become attached to parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, or those who replace blood relatives in their lives.
Man is a social being, and therefore, even in conditions when parents neglect their responsibilities, not satisfying the baby’s basic needs for food, comfort, affection, in the overwhelming majority of cases he still loves a cruel mother or a hard-drinking father and does not want to be separated from them .
But it also happens differently. The difficult conditions in which a child’s early development occurs can lead to a difficult-to-treat disease.
Most often, this problem is faced by adoptive parents whose child suffered troubles in the birth family and then ended up in an orphanage. The situation is even more difficult when the child has already been taken into the family and then returned back to the children's institution.
There are, however, cases of RRP in large families where no one helps the mother and some of the children receive very little attention and care. The disorder can develop if, at an early stage, the child was separated from his parents for a long time as a result of a long hospitalization, or if the baby spent most of the time with a mother suffering from depression or another serious illness that does not allow her to properly care for the child.
What is reactive attachment disorder?
This is a condition in which the child does not form an emotional attachment to parents or persons in their stead. Symptoms of the disorder appear before the age of 5 years, often in infancy. This is lethargy, refusal to communicate, self-isolation. A small child is indifferent to toys and games, does not ask to be held, and does not seek consolation in case of physical pain. He rarely smiles, avoids eye contact, and appears sad and apathetic.
As we get older, signs of self-isolation may manifest as two seemingly opposing behaviors: disinhibited and inhibited.
With disinhibited behavior, the child seeks to attract the attention of even strangers, often seeks help, and commits acts that are inappropriate for his age (for example, coming to bed with his parents to sleep).
Misunderstanding, lack of patience, and a pronounced negative reaction to a child’s behavior on the part of a significant adult can cause irritation, anger, or an outburst of aggression on the child’s part, and if the disorder persists into adolescence, it can lead to alcohol abuse, drug addiction, and other types of antisocial behavior.
With inhibited behavior, the child avoids communication and refuses help. In some cases, he alternately exhibits both types of behavior, both disinhibited and inhibited.
Reactive attachment disorder can manifest itself in forms that sometimes cause despair in adoptive parents: the child constantly lies, steals, behaves impulsively, shows cruelty to animals and a complete lack of consciousness. He does not express regret or remorse after unacceptable behavior.
Diagnosing RRP is not easy. Some features of this disorder may appear in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety disorder, autism, and post-traumatic stress disorder. In order to accurately make a diagnosis, it is necessary to observe the child’s behavior in various situations over a period of time, analyze his biographical data, and evaluate the interaction of parents with the child.
It’s even more difficult to treat it
Sometimes psychiatrists prescribe medications for children with RAD, but in some cases they can only slightly improve the background against which the therapeutic interaction with the child will take place.
The child's parents or guardians play a key role in treatment. It is they who, with the help of doctors and psychologists, will have to create an environment in which he can experience the experience of healthy dependence, believe that he can rely on an adult, and begin to trust him.
Experts believe that the therapeutic environment includes 3 essential components: safety, stability and sensitivity.
To overcome the consequences of the events that caused the child's inability to form close and warm relationships, the adult must have enough time and patience to listen and hear the child with an open mind and without attempting to judge him.
A child needs boundaries, but they must be set in a context of understanding and empathy. Only if the child feels emotional safety, that is, he understands that his story about himself will not cause a negative assessment from an adult, he will be imbued with trust and tell his adoptive mother or psychologist about the difficult experiences of his early childhood.
The second component after security is stability. For the formation of primary attachment, the adult figure must remain the same. It takes a long time to establish trust between a significant adult and a child with RAD. Changing such a figure, moving from one foster family to another, not only slows down the process, but also aggravates the disorder.
Having gone through the painful experience of ignoring his needs, the child must relearn to be aware of them, as well as the fact that over and over again the same person can satisfy them: feed, give clean clothes, put him in a warm bed, play, listen and comfort , help with completing tasks. Such children are often afraid that their new mother will abandon them or die, and only after a long period of stability do these fears subside.
Some children need at least a year of stability to begin to trust their significant other, while others develop trust in their adoptive parents after just a few months. This depends on the child’s temperament (it is important, for example, whether he is an extrovert or an introvert), as well as on how well the child and his new parent fit each other in various parameters.
Long separations between an adopted child and his mother are undesirable: they can activate his defensive reaction, which is self-isolation.
And finally sensitivity. This is the emotional availability of an adult, his attentiveness to the needs of the child. Adoptive parents should be informed by specialists that while the mental development of a child with RAD may correspond to the age norm, his emotions often remain immature, which means that in the process of forming attachment, the need for an adult may be higher than that of a healthy child of the same person. age.
During this transitional period, parents must show great patience and be prepared for unexpected forms of behavior that are signals that the child is going through some earlier stages of development and attachment formation.
For example, a child who has been acting suspiciously and distant suddenly begins to follow his mother incessantly, constantly communicate his fears, climb on his lap or come to sleep in his parent’s bed - in short, behave as if he had suddenly become 2- 3 years younger. In this case, parents should accept the situation and meet the child’s need for greater dependence on them.
It is important for adoptive parents to understand the logic of the changes occurring with the child. Some adopted children initially seem emotionally cold because experience has taught them that it is not safe for them to express their feelings and communicate their desires. At the same time, the child gives the impression of being completely obedient, because he does not show any irritation or dissatisfaction, and does not talk about his needs.
Having felt safe, he intuitively feels that adults accept him and will not abandon him, which means it is completely safe to express his desires in any form, even whims and hysterics.
If previously the child remained indifferent to whether his mother was at home or whether she had gone somewhere, now he may burst into tears, cling to her and not let her go if she was about to leave without him. This is not easy for parents, but such behavior should be seen as a positive sign: attachment is gradually being formed, the child is overcoming the destructive consequences of his difficult early childhood.
In the case of RAD, the psychologist’s task is first of all to educate parents and support them in creating a safe and stable environment for the child at home, but classes with the child can also be useful. Play therapy and other techniques can help a child understand his own needs and build trusting relationships with a new significant adult.
At the same time, parents should be wary of proposals to work with their child using methods collectively called “attachment therapy” (in the original – Attachment Therapy).
This therapy not only has no scientific basis and documented evidence of effectiveness, but it is also not safe.
Attachment therapy combines a number of violent methods, the most famous of which are holding therapy (holding) and rebirthing (“rebirth”).
During “rebirth,” the baby’s body is wrapped in a blanket and forced to crawl through compressed pillows, simulating passage through the birth canal. It is assumed that by being “born again,” he overcomes past negative experiences and is ready for closeness with his mother. In 2000, a 10-year-old girl suffocated during such a procedure in Colorado (USA), and this therapy has since been banned in the state.
There are still many adherents of holding therapy for the treatment of autism and RAD, including very well-known psychologists in our country, Doctor of Sciences O.S. Nikolskaya and M.M. Liebling.
The essence of the therapy is that the mother forcibly holds the child in her arms and, despite his resistance, tells him how much she needs him and how much she loves him. It is assumed that after a period of resistance, when the child tries to escape, scratches and bites, relaxation occurs, during which contact is established between mother and child.
Critics of the method argue that it is unethical, as it is based on physical coercion, and can provoke regression in the child’s development. Indeed, how can a child establish trust in an adult who uses physical violence against him?
Raising a child with reactive disorder is associated with enormous emotional costs, sometimes with stress for parents who blame themselves if they do not see positive changes in the child’s condition and behavior for a long time.
If your child is diagnosed with RRP
- Remember that there are no miraculous techniques that will allow you to achieve a breakthrough in a child’s condition in a short time. There is no substitute for the therapeutic environment of home, the safety, stability, and your willingness to respond emotionally to your child's needs.
- Be sure to find an opportunity and a way to restore your own emotional balance. A child with RAD is already stressed, and your anxiety or irritability can increase this stress. To feel safe, the child must feel your calm and firmness.
- Set boundaries of what is permitted. The child must understand what behavior is unacceptable and what consequences await him if the rules are broken. It is important to explain to your child that your rejection does not apply to him, but to certain of his actions.
- After a conflict, be prepared to quickly reconnect with your child to make him feel that your dissatisfaction was caused by a specific behavior, but that you love him and value your relationship with him.
- If you were wrong about something, don't be afraid to admit your mistake. This will strengthen your bond with your child.
- Set a daily routine for your child and monitor its implementation. This will reduce the child's anxiety level.
- If possible, show your love for your baby through skin-to-skin contact such as rocking, hugging, and holding. However, keep in mind: if the child has experienced violence and trauma, he will initially resist touching, so you will have to work gradually.
