What dad should know about pregnancy. Dad during pregnancy, pregnancy for future fathers. What should a future father do?

Fatherhood is no less amazing a state than motherhood. At the same time, it surprises not only with cute family moments, but also with some circumstances for which it is better to prepare in advance. Let's be honest, women more often attend special courses, mothers' schools and, in general, are more responsible in matters of planning. We, men, if we attend such classes, we either sit there and “nod our noses”, or make fun of the video sequence shown by the obstetrician teacher. After all, what should we prepare for? We are breadwinners, our goal is to feed our family and that’s it. But no! There are some things to consider.

1. You are a second mommy

First, the future dad needs to understand one thing - we are not living in an American TV series from the 50s. Yes, you can go to work, leaving the housework to your wife, but this does not mean that she is able to do household chores around the clock.

When you arrive home, don’t rush to familiarly take off your shoes and fall on the sofa, because you have a whole list of all sorts of activities ahead of you, from bathing to changing diapers and the fatherly sport that involves carrying your child in your arms for many hours. And don’t even think about being indignant! After all, today it’s not you who are truly tired, but your missus.

The fact is that while you were “earning bread,” she also did not sit idly by, but did much more difficult work - she looked after the child. And if most employers allow employees to go away for lunch or a smoke break, then the child does not know such a thing as labor standards.

Therefore, when you return from work, your wife will give you the child with a relieved smile and go to satisfy her basic needs: have a quiet dinner, take a bath and simply relax. Don't think she doesn't understand how tired you are. It's more likely that you don't understand her.

Therefore, humbly accept your child from the hands of your beloved woman and allow her to sit down for a while.

2. Bachelor life in a new version

This interesting feature The life of a new father partially follows from the previous one and is formed when the wife is not at all against being with the child around the clock. In this case, you will have to take care of yourself. It's time to wean ourselves from pots full of borscht, ironed shirts in the wardrobe and other delights of patriarchy. Now you're on your own.

Make a list, set timers on your phone for certain hours, learn the secret of time management, do anything, but be prepared to do absolutely everything.

Do you remember how in your student years you were able to cook 1000 and 1 dish from instant noodles? So, this knowledge in the first months of fatherhood is much more vital than your diploma.

It won't last forever, don't worry. In a couple of months, the wife will recover from childbirth, get used to the child, and then, realizing that maternity leave is a bit boring, she will begin to pamper you with culinary delights and perfect cleanliness.

Before this, you will have to undergo a forced “young fighter” course, struggling with hunger and unwashed dishes.

However, you will have time to prepare, because in the last months of pregnancy your wife will also have no time for household chores. During this period, you can understand her by tying a five-liter bottle of water to your stomach and trying to wipe the dust on the closet. No matter the dust, just walk with this burden for a couple of days.

3. Nothing personal

It's time to talk about the question that many representatives of the stronger sex put into search engines. “When will I finally be able to have sex with my wife?” And in fact, there is simply no exact answer.

The fact is that, according to some doctors, a woman’s body recovers after 40 days. Others claim that it takes her two months. But will she want to make love after giving birth?

No, no one will accept celibacy. But you shouldn’t try to insist on fulfilling your marital duty immediately after 6 weeks.

Think about it, would you want sex after, say, surgery or a car accident? Your wife may simply be afraid of this after the pain she experienced in the maternity hospital. You may not like yourself or simply be too tired.

4. Your child is you

After 2-3 months of living with your child, you will understand that he is you. Not because he looks similar, but because he is already copying your habits and behavior. Here he lies in the same position as his mother sleeping next to him, now he makes a facial expression similar to yours, and now he completely repeats some of your movements, which are unconscious even to you.

At such moments, you understand that the common phrase that “education must begin from birth” is not just big words. The child really copies his parents.

Not yet able to speak or even walk, he already strives to be like those who are dearer to him than anyone else in the world - you and your wife.

The best education - personal example. This is another truism. It is impossible to tell your child about the dangers of alcohol or smoking while taking a drag from a cigarette and drinking strong drinks. Some couples to file good example child, take him with them to sports training to instill in him healthy image life. Yes, at first, when the baby cannot even sit, attending such classes together is impossible. But it’s worth monitoring your behavior and speech.

After all, becoming a worthy role model is a great incentive to give up bad habits and self-development in general.

5. You won't get used to it

When you don't have a child, it seems to you that there is nothing surprising about the growth of children. But when your own son begins to transform from a small lump into a plump man, acquires new skills and habits, you sometimes cannot close your mouth in surprise.

And here it’s worth getting used to one simple thought: getting used to it, adapting, finding ideal approaches for all occasions will not work.

Yes, the period when “you don’t understand me, I want a tattoo on my eyelid and pierced my toes” is still far away, but misunderstanding can arise from the very first years.

At first, the child will change purely physiologically, which will cause a large number of hassle. Today he may have one thing hurting, and tomorrow something completely different, because, as it turns out, he has completely rebuilt one or another system in his body.

You will always be a little confused about what your child wants. Always be sincerely happy when you guess his wish or figure out what hurts him. It's like a constant race in which you don't have time to get ahead. The main thing to remember is that you are running not for the sake of finishing it as quickly as possible, but for the sake of the process.

What a young father should know about a newborn baby, and what he needs to learn to do in order to help the child’s mother, read the website

The primary task of new parents is to obtain the necessary knowledge about the characteristics of newborns and master the technique of careful examination.

While mothers find out everything almost immediately and easily learn to change diapers, rock them to sleep, and bathe the baby, many fathers have difficulty understanding what to do with the child. And not because dads are less capable than mothers, but because dads usually spend less time with their children.

Busy is busy, but it’s still worth learning more about it and learning how to care for it. The father must communicate with the baby from the first days; communication between the child and the father during the newborn period is the foundation for their future good relations and mutual understanding.

Also, the father’s knowledge about the child and the ability to handle him can be useful if an unexpected situation suddenly occurs in the family (an illness of the mother or baby, which requires urgent hospitalization, an urgent departure of the mother for 1-2 days) or simply to give the mother a break from the hassle of few hours. Do not forget that the child is common and both parents must be able to care for him.

So, let's figure out what a young dad should know about his newborn baby and what aspects he should master as soon as possible in caring for his child.

What should a dad know about a newborn?

To learn more about a newborn baby, learn how to care for him, it is advisable that the father has the opportunity to stay at home for 3-5 days after the child and mother return from the maternity hospital, and only then go to work. It is also very desirable for the father to have daily participation in caring for the baby; on weekdays, the father can bathe the child in the evening, and on weekends he can perform almost all the functions of caring for the baby.

So, what every dad should know about a newborn baby.

The skin of a newborn may peel, pimples may appear on it, it may turn yellow; all these manifestations are associated with the baby’s body adapting to life in a new environment. Read more about what can happen to a child's skin.

The baby's mammary glands may swell slightly, and girls may experience bloody discharge from the genitals. All this is quite natural and is associated with the influence of the mother’s hormones on the child’s body.

In the first days of life there may be dark green, and dark yellow urine is normal.

You need to put your baby to sleep on his back, turning his head to the side in case he burps. A little later, you can put the baby on his tummy. AThe baby must sleep without a pillow.

The air temperature in the child's room should be no more than 22 degrees, and humidity from 50 to 70%. It is important for dad not only to know that it should be this way, but also to make every effort to ensure that it is so - buy a thermometer and a hygrometer, install air conditioning, battery-operated taps.

All children have a lot and your baby is no exception.

What should the father of a newborn be able to do?

In case of unforeseen situations, dad should be able to:

• dilute the mixture and feed the baby from a bottle;
• prepare a bath for the child and him;
• rock the baby to sleep, put him to sleep;
• change the diaper and wash the baby;
• change the baby's clothes;
• remember where children's clothing and hygiene products are stored;
• know where the child’s birth certificate is;
• remember the date and time of birth of the child, weight and height at birth, whether there were congenital defects or diseases;
• know if the child has allergies;
• remember where the first aid kit for the child is located;
• know the telephone number of a pediatrician, the telephone number of a children's clinic.

Irina Kolpakova, pediatrician, homeopath - Homeopathic Center named after. Demyana Popova: “A new dad must understand that his wife now, more than ever, needs his help and support. Who, if not him? Dear dads, do not be shy to show your feelings for the child: hug, kiss, carry in your arms, sing songs, read fairy tales. Your son will grow up to be your friend and helper. Your daughter will flirt with you and practice her feminine tricks on you. Both children in adulthood will rely on your type of behavior: the son will imitate, and the daughter will look for a person similar to you as a wife.”

Mom and dad are the two closest people to a child, so it is logical and natural that they should share the responsibilities of caring for a newborn. Shared child care will provide the baby with harmonious development, will help mom cope faster postpartum depression, will give dad the opportunity to really feel like a father, needed and important person for the baby.

It is very easy to become a father, but it is very difficult to be a father. The traditional family setup says: the man provides for the family, and the woman raises the children. Therefore, children from the very early age divided in this way: girls should play with dolls, and boys should love balls, cars and weapons. And if a boy suddenly starts pushing the stroller of his sister or young girlfriend, then he is reproachfully told that this is not a man’s business.

Pregnancy territory for dad.

Since childhood, men have retained the feeling that the territory of pregnancy, childbirth and the first months of a child’s life is forbidden to them. Many expectant fathers are even a little afraid of pregnant women; they begin to imagine the process of childbirth with horror, and try to stay as far away from the newborn as possible until the baby begins to talk and walk. Because of this wariness, expectant fathers may become emotionally distant from the woman.

Traditionally, many believe that the role of the father becomes important when the child has already grown up and entered kindergarten, getting ready for school. Undoubtedly, at this stage the child really needs the presence of the father, but even before this moment both the wife and the baby need him. It is no coincidence that while expecting a child, perinatal therapy is carried out with the participation of the baby as an equal member of his family. And the courses themselves to prepare for future births assume that both parents will take part in this process.

Paternal and maternal care.

A. Grames said that for the development of personality, both maternal and paternal care are necessary. Maternal care will provide the opportunity for acceptance, and paternal care will encourage giving.

So it is, in fact, the father begins to influence his life long before the birth of his baby. Also, in the first months of a child’s life, there is no need to distance yourself from him, because the baby is settling into a new world, incomprehensible and unfamiliar, and for this he needs a sense of confidence and support.

Today, when the social roles of women and men are not defined as strictly as before, the woman can be the breadwinner in the family, and the father can take care of the child. And thanks to the opportunities modern life when possible and breast milk keep it in the refrigerator and feed the baby with special formulas; fathers can take care of their children just as well as mothers.

In addition, if both parents show equal interest in the child’s life, the baby will feel calm and more confident.

It has been established that if future dad withdraws from the process of pregnancy, the birth itself and the first months of the child’s life, then later it is much more difficult for him to find a relationship with his baby mutual language. And those fathers who actively took part during pregnancy and were also present at childbirth experienced greater emotional attachment to their child and established contact with him more easily. In life, those children turn out to be more active, physically and mentally developed, who from the first days communicated very closely with both mom and dad.

The father and his behavior largely determine what path the child will choose in life. Will the child be fearful and timid or, on the contrary, will he confidently defend his interests? Caring for the baby, his interests, needs, conversations and hugs, generosity in praise for the development of the child’s personality will be much more important than an expensive toy purchased. And much more important, complete indifference to the fate of your child.

Family models.

The father's role may be different. He may have the role of a breadwinner who provides for his family, creates stability and security for it. Under such protection, a woman can completely immerse herself in pregnancy and her unborn child. And when the baby grows up, the father will be such an important and status figure for him.

Maybe a different family model. For example, when a man helps his wife and is involved in the process of raising his child. In this case, he acts as a protective figure.

There is another family model in which the man shares all maternal functions equally with his wife. He can play and change clothes.

There are no good or bad roles, no hard and fast rules, as long as there is a male figure in principle. It is necessary that the role of the father suits both husband and wife.

The husband should have a certain role during his wife's pregnancy. The fact is that a woman, during pregnancy, goes through an interesting cycle from a childish position to an adult position. In the first trimester, a woman is in a childish position, and she transfers her “childish” state to her husband, for her he becomes a parental figure. A woman has a great need for care and support. And, unfortunately, a man is not always ready for this.

During the second trimester, it is important for a woman to feel in her husband the father of her child and his interest in him. Sometimes she may be offended not by the way he treats her, but by his lack of interest in his child. Closer to the birth, she may begin to worry about the birth itself, and therefore she needs support and help. Sometimes the problem is that the husband cannot provide the necessary support to his wife, not because he does not want to, but because he himself experiences anxiety and a lot of anxiety. This may be due to the fact that the entire system of relationships begins to change. In addition, the husband also cannot provide proper support to his wife, because she has no time for her husband, as she is immersed in her condition. Or it may also be due to the fact that the husband is experiencing a feeling of jealousy... During this difficult period, a psychologist can help, who will help you understand your situation and improve your relationship.

Dad's participation in childbirth.

There are a lot of opinions on this matter. But this issue again needs to be approached individually. Does this couple really need it? Does dad himself need this? What will dad do - support his wife or control the doctors? One thing is for sure: the meeting between dad and newborn is, in most cases, extremely favorable. This does not mean at all that the father should participate in the birth, but it is very important for the father to see and hold the child in his arms in the first hour and a half, because it is at this moment that the newborn child exhibits many characteristics that are no longer evident later. In the future, dad will be much more involved and interested in the baby.

Further development of the child.

As experience shows, if the father fully joins the mother in the process of raising a child, if both parents share care for the baby, then they have a kind of partnership, a community. Such couples in most cases avoid the typical postpartum stress, the husband does not feel forgotten and abandoned, and the wife feels that she is understood and helped.

This happens to everyone who has children, but each in their own way. Two stripes mean your life is about to change. Or rather, she has already changed. Especially when it's the first time, like mine.

In fact, everything is not as scary as it seems. The wife becomes a bitch only for the first three months, and then at short intervals, and not 24/7. Of course, there are fears, and risks, and much more.

But there are also many advantages. You and your wife start eating healthy food(she can only use the most useful natural products), get out into nature (mother and baby need to breathe fresh air), you listen to classical music, because... There is an opinion about its benefits for intrauterine development.

And in general, this is a wonderful time, full of hopes, plans and reflections. In any case, that’s exactly how it was for me. In a word, romance.

However, there are some very mundane things that are worth taking care of.

Maximum patience and support for each other

It's very difficult for both of them right now. Especially if we are talking about the first child. Especially in case of any risks. It’s harder, of course, for a woman: she is bombarded with a barrage of hormones that affect both her physical condition and her emotions. In the first trimester, a woman can behave, to put it mildly, unusually, and a man needs to remember this.

In this regard, it is much easier for him: he is not pregnant, and there are no problems with hormones, and he is much better protected emotionally. That is why quite a lot depends on a man during this period (as in life in general). A woman should see care, attention and care; she now really needs confidence that everything is in order and she can relax. Therefore, from a man - maximum attention, patience and support, even if the wife has changed a little. Of course: she is carrying your child.

A man also needs attention, and a sharp switch to the child, video courses about motherhood and books on healthy eating for pregnant women should not replace the husband. Men are less emotional than women, and our society places significant restrictions on the expression of feelings. It’s not easy for him either, although he doesn’t show it. Don't lose touch with each other, talk, especially now there is one more topic!

Suitable doctor

It is important to find a gynecologist with whom you feel comfortable. One who will answer questions and give advice. There are completely different doctors, and if you are not satisfied with something at the local doctor, in some cases it makes sense to turn to a paid one. You'll have to make inquiries first, but it's worth it.

Where to give birth

Everything will be different now

Better or worse depends on you, but it’s definitely harder and different than it was. A child is an additional connection between husband and wife, but also an additional headache. It looks like for the rest of my life. Good topic for conversation.

Purchases

They should at least be planned. Yes, there is still a lot of time before the birth, but you don’t want to prepare for it on the last night, like a failed student. Despite the fact that the exam date is unknown to you. Therefore, it is better to decide right away and gradually bribe according to the occasion. In addition, some things will probably be given to you by your relatives and friends. This way you will save both time and money. I’ll tell you what and how best to buy next time.

This is how a journey of 9-10 months begins. However, the first step has already been taken.

Personal experience

Mikhail Karavaev

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3. By the way, it is also strictly contraindicated for expectant mothers to breathe toxic substances! Therefore, renovating the nursery is up to you!

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5. It's time to change your culinary tastes. There are many things that pregnant women, and especially breastfeeding women, should not do. But I really, really want to. Therefore, it is better for dads to be in solidarity with their wives and not buy/cook for themselves anything that their wife does not want to eat. There is no need to take revenge on Eve for tempting Adam with an apple! Or gobble up the goodies in private.

6. If you want your beloved to remain attractive and slim after childbirth, do not allow her to lie on the sofa in front of the TV. Moderate physical activity is necessary! Spend your free time walking together in the fresh air.

7. An earnest request to future fathers who smoke: QUIT! It would be better for the health of your heir if you quit this habit about six months to a year before conceiving a child, but if this does not happen, you still have time. How are you going to explain to your son in 7-10 years why smoking is harmful? And now you are undermining the health of your wife and your unborn child - after all, I think you know that passive smoking is more harmful than active smoking? At least don’t smoke in the apartment, on the balcony, in the entrance. Go outside!

8. In bed, listen to your spouse’s wishes. You may have to reconsider what you are used to. Pregnancy is not particularly conducive to intimacy, at least to its vigorous manifestation.

9. Take care of your loved one’s sleep. It’s already hard for her - the usual sleeping position is not always possible, and adopting a different one is problematic. If your wife's tossing and sighing irritates you, or you yourself sleep restlessly, move to another room for a while.

10. The wait, of course, is tiring, but it won’t last more than 9 months. Be patient.

And another piece of advice for both parents: do not expect a baby of the gender you want, at least until an ultrasound scan reliably determines the gender. Otherwise, you risk getting a girl with boyish manners or an overly affectionate boy.

The advice for future dads is endless, so let’s stop.