Why do people appreciate kindness. Why Men Don't Value Good Relationships. A good girl strives to find a partner for life, to create a strong relationship. She is looking forward to meeting the man who will become her best friend.
It is impossible to do a good deed too soon, because it is impossible to know when it will be too late.
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To be fair, you must first be kind. And to be kind means to understand that all people make mistakes.
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What a pity that not all smart people are kind ...
What a pity that not all kind people- rich...
What a pity that not all rich people are smart ...
What a pity …
Kindness cannot be given away forever - it always returns.
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The truly kind is the one who is happy when dreams come true. Other's.
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The emptiness of the soul ... that's what you need to be afraid of, and not an empty wallet ...
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Beauty attracts attention, and kindness wins the heart! But if your kindness does not attract attention… beauty will not win the heart!!!
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Good intentions are nothing if they are not translated into good deeds.
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Many have to be respected not because they do good, but because they do not bring evil.
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There are people like comets -
The brightest light of kindness
Leave a mark on life
Their souls of wondrous beauty...
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If you want to try everything in this life, try to be kind and honest.
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Be kinder whenever possible. And this is always possible.
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To help another person, it is not necessary to be strong and rich, it is enough to be kind.
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Human life is fragile glass
Evil is ready to be destroyed at any moment.
hurry up good deeds to excel -
Give warmth to your neighbor!
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Some people need only a drop of happiness to become kinder.
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The kindness of the human soul is like a river, because no matter how much you draw from it, it does not become smaller because of this.
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Why are there so many evil people?
Perhaps because it is much more difficult to be kind ...
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Kindness is what the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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Most The best way cheer yourself up is to cheer someone up.
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If you consider yourself kind and good or good and kind, first take a piece of paper and write down all the good deeds that you have done in your life ...
Show it to your friends if you can.
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I know no other sign of superiority other than kindness...
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Kindness and naivety quickly and unmistakably expose malice, self-interest and meanness.
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Let kindness rule people -
Here is my old dream!
Appearance is not a measure
Beauty is in the soul, not in the body!
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You will find only stop looking. You will receive only by learning to give. You can only see when you close your eyes and open your heart.
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No person in the world attracts more than a person with a good heart and a "pure" language.
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Don’t be afraid if a black cat crosses your path… an optimist sees a beautiful kitten, a pessimist sees everything is bad even without a cat… The main thing is that there is no blackness in your soul…
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Whoever stints on good feelings in life will not enjoy this life forever.
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Kindness will always prevail over beauty.
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Life is measured not only by length, but also by breadth.
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Do not speculate on human kindness.
It's getting smaller, this heart hurts.
The world will come out with universal longing,
If kindness suddenly becomes smuggling.
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Smile, even if offended!!! Let them realize their weakness before kindness
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How much kindness is in a person, so much life is in him.
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When you do a good deed, never think about whether others will appreciate it, the main thing to know is that the Almighty sees everything ...!
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Kindness in words breeds trust. Kindness in thought improves relationships. Kindness in deeds gives birth to love.
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Be kind to those who depend on you.
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People who do not believe in human kindness rarely encounter its manifestations.
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Of all the possible solutions, choose the kindest - it will most likely turn out to be the most correct.
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A GOOD AND OPEN face even decorates wrinkles.
Cheerful rays from bright smiles are especially wonderful.
And the EVIL and eternally DISSATISFIED face ... be it at least three times
young and smooth, like a peach, unpleasantly pushes away from you ...
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In an effort to understand the essence of our whole life, you need to remember a simple truth ... That beauty will please a little bit ... And kindness ... heals our whole life!
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Kindness is not an act, it is a process.
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When we are happy, we are always kind; but when we are kind, we are not always happy.
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In the relationship of developing a sense of goodness, it is most difficult to create any rules.
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A good deed, if it's really good, is worth more than a million kind words. But sometimes the word is the deed, and then it is worth a lot. Statuses for optimists
Why men do not appreciate kind and caring women. How many times have I noticed this ... 🤔. Is this really a disadvantage? If a woman has a good heart, this does not mean that she is stupid or naive. She has everything - a career, leisure, hobbies, she is her own mistress. Such girls at some point come to the conclusion that they no longer want to change their lives.
A good girl strives to find a partner for life, to create a strong relationship. She is looking forward to meeting the man who will become her best friend.
She is looking for someone who will accept all her flaws and shortcomings, surround her with love and care. Such a girl does not consider relationships as a game, does not manipulate guys.
A good heart does not make her weak, it helps her forgive and give people a second chance.
She sees only the good in those around her. Everyone has the right to make a mistake - so she believes. We all did what we later bitterly regretted, the main thing is that we learned a lesson from this. Anyone has the right to start life from scratch.
Good girl guided not by rules, but by intuition. She will not let a man tell her how to live, she loves herself the way nature created her. She considers her kindness to be a blessing from above.
She knows that kindness sometimes brings more problems and worries than happiness, but does not change her attitude towards people.
She knows that others seem strange, as if not from this world, but she doesn’t care, she is always one step ahead.
Her path is the path of spirituality. She trusts the universe and sees the blessing of heaven in every moment. In the most difficult situations, she remains true to herself and her views.
Even if she is mocked, she will not repay evil for evil. Kindness is her weapon. How do you feel about girls who seem good to others, but never find a mate?
Time passes, but one thing remains the same: people do not appreciate good relationship. It is worth once to come to someone's aid, as a person will have to do it all the time: refusals are not accepted. Although gratitude for a good attitude sometimes happens, but this is the exception rather than the rule. Surely everyone is familiar with the gospel story about how Jesus healed 10 sick people, but only one thanked him. And this is far from the first evidence of human ingratitude.
An innate property of higher animals
The question of why people do not value a good relationship has been answered not only by psychologists, moralists and researchers of ethical sciences, but also by ordinary scientists, in particular, zoologists. So, Konrad Lorenz, an Austrian zoologist and animal psychologist, shed some light on the cause of human ingratitude. He studied the behavior of animals for a long time and came to the conclusion that aggression is an innate quality of higher animals.
There is also intraspecific aggression, when members of the same species attack their own kind when they enter their territory. This behavior helps to survive in the wild.
Invasion and Morality
Even without a scientific basis, it is easy to determine that intraspecific aggression is also characteristic of people, they just call it differently - competitive struggle. For example, in one city there are two photo studios. They are located in different parts of the city, and the owners are even friends. But if one of them opens his studio next to a competitor, then a fierce struggle and poaching of customers will begin, because such an act is an encroachment on someone else's territory.
A simple conclusion suggests itself from this: by nature, a person is evil, but at the same time a social being. To survive, he needs to learn to exist with his own kind, so there is morality, rules of conduct and other laws in society. To reduce someone's aggression, people try to express submissiveness. And the conclusion that suggests itself: gratitude and a good attitude are perceived as weakness. Everyone expects to be treated well, but no one wants to do it in return.
A person, doing good to someone, transcends his natural egoism and wants this “sacrifice” to be appreciated. If someone sees a good attitude towards himself, he feels his superiority. And it feeds the ego. That's why people don't appreciate a good relationship.
How to respond to ingratitude?
It has long been known that people do not value a good relationship. And during this time, a lot of sayings have accumulated. they say that it is impossible to provide services where they are not asked.
Treat others the way they treat you.
Don't do favors that you're not asked for.
Do good and throw it into the water.
Praises, like gold and diamonds, are valuable only when they are rare.
Do not look for scoundrels, meanness is committed by good people.
Despite the fact that a person is a rational being and must act rationally, most human actions are performed under the influence of instincts, and not reason. Since everyone has instincts, but fate has deprived someone of upbringing and prudence.
From Shakespeare
Well, with science and instincts figured out, it's time to move on to philosophy, ethics and aesthetics. Let's start with Shakespeare. Another famous playwright of the past asked the question:
Is there anything more monstrous than the ingratitude of man?
Unfortunately, he was never able to answer it. People did not appreciate and do not appreciate a good attitude, neither then nor now. It is worth helping someone disinterestedly, as instead of gratitude, a person is obliged to help constantly. No wonder they say that if you help someone a couple of times, someone's legs immediately begin to hang from their necks. People take kindness for granted and get very offended when they have to be rejected.
Goethe once said that ingratitude is a common weakness. Outstanding people will never allow themselves to be ungrateful. In any case, they will find a way to thank the one who helped them, and they will never forget the service rendered to them.
No fool and life is bad
There are many aphorisms about when people do not appreciate a good attitude. One of them is worth highlighting:
There must always be fools in the world who sacrifice their personal interests in the name of the public, receiving reproach and ingratitude in return (Alexander Hamilton).
It is possible that if everyone was engaged exclusively in their own affairs, then there would be no society as such. Perhaps anarchy would reign everywhere, people would look at each other like a wolf and would see their enemy in everyone they met. Only due to the fact that there are people who will not spare themselves for the benefit of others, society somehow resembles a civilized society. But even here there are many unpleasant situations that cannot be dealt with.
When they don't appreciate
People don't appreciate a good relationship. Quotations on this occasion can be given not one or two. The most unpleasant thing is when for the sake of another person you have to do unseemly, sometimes even illegal actions.
Ingratitude never hurts the human heart more than when it comes from people for whose sake we have decided on an unseemly act (Henry Fielding, "The Story of Tom Jones").
It is said that the victors do not tend to remember those who cleared the path to the throne for them with swords. This truth is as old as the world, but not a single ruler has yet disdained it.
A demonstrative gratitude, a few words, a diploma, a medal or a posthumous speech are formalities, not gratitude. Indeed, the game will go on until the king falls, no matter how many pawns lie at his throne. But one day fate will begin to take revenge, and then the one who did not know how to appreciate a good attitude towards himself will be in the place of the one whom he offended. Life is impossibly wise, so do not get hung up on the bad, one day everything will fall into place, the mosaic will work out and everything will be as it should be. The main thing is not to forget to thank fate for this.
Why don't people appreciate the good you do them?
The question is certainly interesting. On the one hand, they, such radishes, just get used to it and begin to take this goodness for granted. On the other hand, is it really good if we begin to expect gratitude in return? Ideally, those who receive should be grateful, and those who give should be disinterested. But life is generally unfair. There are different options here. Become Mother Teresa and do good to everyone just like that. Or become a complete egoist and generally do nothing to anyone. Or become a mercantile pragmatist and do good only to those who give something in return. Or even more mercantile - to do good only in response to good. I myself look at the circumstances - give or take. And I don't worry too much about people. Whatever it is, no one is perfect.
When a person does good, he first thinks with his heart, because it is very pitiful and something needs to be done, and then over time, when the person to whom he did good becomes obsessive and arrogant, then he thinks with his head, but fortunately there are few ungrateful people. And no one forces us to do good, we just do it ourselves, so that we don’t have to worry later, we could help and didn’t help.
Well, as they say: You did good, move a distance so that you don’t get caught by a wave of gratitude quot ;. People are basically ungrateful. Let me give you an example: my uncle was kicked out of the house empty-handed, his daughters immediately said that they did not need him to have their families, and we thought and decided that it was impossible to leave a person in trouble. They gave him a room, bought clothes, helped with work. What have we achieved? Every day he comes drunk and throws scandals at us, plus he once raised his hand, but there is nowhere to kick him out. Conclusion: where is the banal gratitude? In such a situation, you do not expect it, but you expect that a person will behave like a human being. The same as: The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Help for the soul is better when you help children from the orphanage, or people affected by the fire - we do it disinterestedly and do not expect anything in return, but it's so nice to know that these people are praying for you and your children. And more is not needed. Therefore, not everyone is ungrateful, but unfortunately the majority.
Those who are not accustomed to thank do not appreciate kindness. Everything comes from childhood. Another person even has thank you tongue does not turn to say. People for the most part take good deeds and deeds for granted. But still, the expression do good does not mean the same kindness in return. A person should not expect to be rewarded for his good deeds. In this case, commodity relations arise, called. Good is not sought from good.
A person, making any decision, is guided by a rational approach or an ethical one. These approaches are opposed to each other. In nature, everything happens cruelly, but rationally. Man, due to his development relative to other species, has complicated everything so much that he has come up with all sorts of ethical concepts such as goodness and justice. Rationality, in my understanding, is when a person receives something in return for his actions. Ethics - when a person consciously does not receive benefits, this is a refusal to fight. By sacrificing something, everyone thereby violates the natural laws of nature ( slows downquot ;, maybe breaks the chain of cause and effect conceived by nature with his fabrications) and if you put all these sacrifices together, then this will be the force that holds the human society from self-destruction. When a group of people acts rationally more often, it eventually gets more opportunities, more influence, uses the colossal forces of nature and acts in unison with them. But at the same time, they themselves become hostages of the structure that they have created. For example, oligarchs are victims of capital. Victims in the sense that their whole essence is aimed at replicating pieces of paper. It is unlikely that any of them will become a scientist or a person of art. Many of the criminals believe that they understood life - but in fact, only one of possible ways is to live. It turns out that our life is a flow of energy (the sun->plants->animals->people->the meaning of people's lives?). Once it began, one day it will end. (The sun arose as a result of cosmic processes unimaginable in scale, and only a relative lull in our solar system created the conditions for the development of complex structures, such as carbon-based life forms) A rational approach accelerates this flow, and it becomes destructive - it can demolish everything in its path if it is not stopped (like a nuclear reaction). People call it Evil. An ethical approach slows down this flow and it is customary to call it Good. (slow nuclear reaction - nuclear power plant, science, art, music) For example, in a military conflict, everyone acts rationally, assessing the risks, calculating the enemy’s steps in advance, but in the end they suffer huge losses, often comparable to the benefits of winning. And only a compromise, when both sides sacrifice part of their interests, leads to a quiet resolution of the situation (a calm flow of energy). This almost never occurs in the animal world (a hungry predator will not allow the victim to continue to exist ethically dooming himself to death. He acts according to his instincts, according to nature. And people have cases of cannibalism in a hopeless situation - this is a completely rational approach).
Returning to the question ... When we do In fact, we often act rationally. We get something for this: recognition by society, awareness of our holiness, expectation of reciprocal help (in the future) from this person. It can just be intangible things or investmentsquot ;, which will create the appearance of gratuitousness. Please do not be offended, but if you think that your kindness is not appreciated, then this is similar to the situation when you did not discuss the terms of the contract and did not come to a mutual agreement regarding it)) You have done your part, and the partner may not know what you are waiting for instead. You need to communicate more in such cases, explain your position, because many things are transmitted non-verbally (even if they are not clearly pronounced). Only holy people are capable of real (gratuitous) Goodness. It sounds paradoxical, but for real Good they receive suffering (due to the fact that they go against the laws of the universe) and the energy that they suspend, as it were, beats them.
So, if you are doing good, and you feel that people do not appreciate you, there is nothing wrong with explaining to a person the essence of your actions and expectations. If it doesn’t matter to you that the person didn’t thank you ( do good and throw him into the water), while all the troubles of the world fall on you, then it’s possible that you are walking the path of a saint and, I wouldn’t want to upset, but with this approach your business will only get worse)
this is the law of meanness. do not do good to a person - you will not get evil
Kindness implies disinterestedness, sincerity, but people either do not trust, or look for a catch everywhere, or simply do not understand the meaning of actions, and pay with ingratitude and evil. The fact is that help spoils people, discourages them, gives the feeling that this is how it should be, that it goes without saying, so why appreciate a person if he is so stupid, let me do something nasty to him.
People can be ungrateful in themselves, with a wormhole, therefore they are angry at the whole world, incapable of doing good.
It seems to me that you idealize people and at the same time suffer from the fact that your thoughts about people's behavior do not coincide with their real way of acting. Yes, unfortunately people often behave not only ignoble, but also tactless, shameless, impudent, cynical. If you are inclined to sincerely help people, then you should not be worried about their response, let it remain on their conscience. And if you are offended by the fact that you are being paid with black ingratitude, then no nerves will be enough. One should accept human weaknesses and shortcomings as a given and continue to do good deeds to the best of one's ability.
You know, and you start doing something because you yourself sincerely want to help, and not in order to be told thank you and began to appreciate. Don't expect this from people. There are people who are not grateful, so be it. It is their conscience, and you live according to your conscience.
Because they are like that, their stage of life will not pass yet, which would teach them to appreciate the good that another person gives him free of charge. But do not worry about these people, life will surely teach them sooner or later. First on frivolous events, then on more serious ones. Because one should be grateful.
Good afternoon Maria! I really enjoy watching your channel. My situation is this: I (28 years old) 3 years ago I experienced the strongest mobbing at work from the whole office, including the bosses. Before that, I was quite a sociable girl, but preferring to be alone more than surrounded by people. A year after this situation, I lived in constant apathy and depression, but I was able to step over it by mentally forgiving all the offenders and taking the blame on myself, making it a life experience to extract my own mistakes, but still it left a huge imprint on my psyche. I began to work as a freelancer, because I don’t want to be in a team, I’m scared that they can do this to me again. I also began to beware of all new people, in everything I look for a catch that on their part can hurt me again. Many people are offended by me because I distance myself. People reach out to me and I push them away and I myself am anxious about this. I struggle with the feeling of protecting myself and the notion that it is impossible to do this, you cannot hide from people all your life. And now I live in another country where I need to learn new language and, accordingly, to communicate with foreigners, which makes me even more anxious and this prevents me from making progress on the path to a new life. I do not know how to get out of this situation, please advise what can be done?
Hello, for a week now I have been going around the bush, thinking about whether to write to you or not. I took advantage of the boarding school, so I didn’t have my own home as such. And what does it mean good family I'll find out as I go along. My husband also had family problems. Dad played everything at cards. Mom plowed like a horse to pay her husband's debts. And my husband, including from the age of 14, helped her in her work. So, my husband and I got together when I was 19, my husband was 22. We found out that she was pregnant, and since we were in our last years, we decided to live with his mother in her house. At the same time, I always told my husband that I want to live separately. Mother-in-law is a separate issue altogether. She is a domineering woman, all the time she speaks not directly, but from under a pick, but at the same time a terrible slob. He can pass by and say that your child is not combed, or oh, you should wash the floors in the kitchen. In the beginning, as a loving daughter-in-law and living on her territory, I went and did everything, although I combed the child an hour ago, washed the floors in the morning. So over time, they just made me servants. They said you should do this, cook this, raise a child like this, go to the sea there. (The mother-in-law did nothing at all around the house). And try to say no to her, she starts to get offended (begins to act like a teenager, goes into the room and closes). At the same time, when she cools down, she behaves as if nothing had happened. It doesn't matter if she hurt someone. Sometimes she complained to her husband, but he did not react. But at the same time, I constantly told him that it was time to move. We quarreled because of this, he began to explain that he was still helping his mother. And I believed like a fool. So we lived for 10 years. In the summer, once again, I announced a conversation with my husband about moving, as usual, ended in nothing. The mother-in-law heard and let's explain that men are not arranged that way, and she knows better where and how we should live. The husband, as usual, sat and listened quietly. It got to the point that the mother-in-law leaves for work from home no sooner than dawn, and also comes. To make me feel comfortable, but again they forgot to ask my opinion. And if she is at home, then we cannot be in the same room quietly. We haven't spoken for 4 months now. My daughter sees this, which is the worst. I explain to my husband, but he, as usual, does not care. I said what she wants, but we have to move. Especially since they paid off all their debts. Now it turns out that he does not want to move (his mother has a private house, and it is located very far from all infrastructure). When asked why, one answer is "why should I leave everything here?". I'm trying to explain to him that no one is forcing him to quit everything, what is he like loving son should come to my mother and help her. That I will feel good away from his mother, that I will stop being nervous and worried. He seems to be beginning to understand what I want to convey to him, but no, after a while, he starts spinning his cassette again. What is so convenient that we have no money and all that. (We have a one-room apartment) I try to explain to him that if you do not want to live in a one-room apartment, we can sell it. Take out as much credit as you need and buy more. But that's not an option for him either. It got to the point that I gave an ultimatum either to his mother or me. I gave him a month to make a decision. Then I'll leave. Help how to be. I love him, but I can't live like this anymore. Maybe I am wrong? I'm very tired.
Hello. My son got married. Lives separately. My son is the meaning of my life. I just have a void. I try to fill it with everything I can. I am not alone - married. my husband and I are good. I hoped that the daughter-in-law would become a close and dear person. but there was a conflict - we have a complete misunderstanding. We absolutely do not understand and do not hear each other. I know that many mistakes were made by both me and her. We decided not to communicate with each other. It torments my son. He is cunning and dodges, at least in front of me, just to avoid conflict. I think that I controlled a lot in my son's life. I dictated to him what and how to do. wife got the same - trying to manage it. it is easier for him to remain silent. Just to avoid quarrels. he loves her. I've already come to terms with it. I'm tired of this situation. the son says that the wife believes that she is right in everything. I want to try to talk heart to heart. I want to start from scratch. I want peace for everyone. But the girl is capricious. ambitious. vindictive. and most importantly envies everyone a lot. a late child with a single mother who lived with her grandparents until the age of 13. everything is fine with her. We are suffering - the son and I. How can I get things right and not be rejected. ?
