How to overcome fears and anxiety: advice from a psychologist. How to overcome the fear of sex? List of the most important causes of fear and solutions to the problem How to get rid of fear before the first time

Today, the age at which people have their first sexual experience has dropped significantly. If 30 years ago it was equal to 17 years, now people enter into first sexual relations at 14 - 15 years old. This is very early, both physiologically and psychologically, but you can’t argue with the statistics.

The first experience is very important, because if it turns out to be negative, it can cast a “black shadow” on the entire subsequent sexual life. Therefore, the fear that many experience in the situation of deflowering is completely understandable and justified.

If you are confident in your relationship with a guy and have decided to have sexual intercourse with him for the first time, then you need to overcome your fears. The fact is that many unpleasant sensations that can occur during sex have psychological causes.

Even if you love your partner very much, think carefully about whether you should enter into an intimate relationship with him. The fact is that relationships of this kind require trust, a sensitive and caring attitude towards each other. If you are not sure that your loved one will be able to be gentle and restrained enough at a crucial moment, it is better to refuse sex with him. Why do you need extra complexes, which will later be very difficult to get rid of?

If you have decided that you can trust your partner, then arrange a meeting in a secluded place with a pleasant atmosphere, where you will not need to rush and worry that someone will catch you together.

Virgin girls adolescence often do not experience sexual desire. There is nothing abnormal about this. But young men, on the contrary, are usually hypersexual, and cannot even wait for the moment when their girlfriend is completely ready for intimacy.

Try to organize an intimate meeting in a calm and stimulating atmosphere, where you can both relax and overcome the shyness and fear that are natural in such situations. Most of the responsibility falls on the man. The girl can only rely on his sensitivity and experience. If this is also the first time for him, as well as for you, then there will be nothing wrong if you ask him to take his time and be patient.

Drinking a glass of champagne will help relieve tension. However, you should not overdo it with alcohol: there is a high risk that you will feel and understand little. In addition, while intoxicated, your partner may experience erection problems.

Beautiful music will help you relax. Constantly maintain tactile contact with each other, enjoy gentle touches. Then go to erotic massage: This will be a great excuse to get naked. Don't think about sex, just enjoy the contact with your loved one, his kisses and strokes. Believe me, everything will work out on its own, because sex is a completely natural thing, one of the important needs of any person.

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This article will be useful to anyone who has encountered fears in intimate relationships and wants to overcome them.

Fears in the sexual sphere can lead to anorgasmia, premature ejaculation, inability to enter into relationships, loneliness, depression and even suicide attempts.

The most common fears are:

fear of not conforming to cultural or social norms
fear of rejection
fear of violence
fear of the unknown
fear of having sex and not meeting the other's expectations

Fear of cultural inadequacy

A client who professed Islam approached me. She complained of depressed mood and anxiety. The client studied at the university, was successful, worked, supported a good relationship with parents.

I worked with her feelings and beliefs using cognitive behavioral and art therapy approaches, which can quickly bring about improvement in situations like this. There was no result.

I was already thinking about recommending medication help when the client admitted that she had fallen in love with young man of a different religion, experiences strong sexual attraction, but suppresses it within himself, is ashamed and afraid. She felt confused because she did not want to give up her faith and was sure that the young man would not accept her religion. She didn't know what to do.

We carefully analyzed the internal conflict, talked for a long time about her personality, values, and ideas about happiness. This helped her make a decision.

Fear of sex - fear of not conforming to social stereotypes

The Internet and popular culture offer countless stereotypes that have nothing to do with reality:

“sex should last thirty minutes - no more and no less”
“my body should be 90-60-90 to be attractive”
“many sexual partners are the key to one’s own attractiveness”

In the recent film “I'm Losing Weight,” a young man breaks off a relationship because of a girl's appearance, finds the “ideal of sexuality,” but ultimately loses love. And the heroine, through working on her body, comes to her real self, to the feelings that were hidden in the depths. She meets her fears and ultimately becomes herself, free from the opinions of others.

Fear of Rejection

Fear of pain. I will open up, but the other one will not. I will love, and the other will devalue, take advantage of, not notice, offend, reject, insult, not feel, will not hear, deceive, manipulate.

How to overcome fear of sex? Love anyway, take the initiative, take risks - this is a strong position. The pain of rejection teaches you to value yourself.

Fear of violence

A client who experienced sexual abuse many years ago was unable to open up and trust the partner she had fallen in love with. She couldn’t find the strength to talk about it, because there was pain and unshed tears inside. She was unconsciously afraid of repetition.

How to overcome your fear of sex? In such a situation, a soft, delicate conversation, psychotherapy, and work with psychological trauma and its consequences are useful. A person must form the position “you can’t do this with me”, “I can protect myself” - allow yourself to get angry, express emotions, recognize your own value, realize your own psychological resources.

Fear of trying new things

In couples with experience, sex becomes less frequent and sensations become dull. Take a closer look - do you know everything about your partner? It is important to experiment, imagine and implement. Couples who live together new experience(travel, meet new people, engage in creativity), and are more satisfied with their life together.

Fear of not living up to another's expectations (expectation of sexual failure syndrome)

A young woman came to the reception married couple. They complained about misunderstandings, conflicts, and dissatisfaction with sex.

It turned out that each of the partners is focused on perfect image another who lives in his head. He more often mentally communicates with a virtual copy of his partner than with him himself, and answers questions for him as he imagines. The woman wanted more stimulation of the clitoris and did not like the taste of sperm during oral sex, but she was afraid to say so, so as not to offend the man. The man sought to ensure “dynamics”, not really feeling what he wanted.

Don’t be afraid to be “uncomfortable” for others, that’s the only way you will become yourself.

How to get rid of fear of sex

Discuss fears openly with your partner.
If you're hesitant to discuss it with your partner, talk to a close friend or counselor first.
Love and accept your body. Masturbation is normal!
Study your body. How can my partner guess what I like in sex if I don’t know it myself?
Find out the other person's feelings about sex and share yours. Your partner won’t be able to get into your head, and you won’t be able to get into his.
Share your sexual fantasies with each other.
Adjust your beliefs, be flexible. Sex is normal, necessary, beautiful and healthy.
Accept your aggression, the desire to possess others.
Be yourself. Explore yourself, trust yourself. Respect the rules and norms of society and choose what makes you happy.

Naomi Wolf "Vagina" New story female sexuality."
Morgenthaler A. “Men and sex. Unexpected truth."

It is almost impossible to forget the first kiss. Although in fact, what is most remembered is the awkwardness, the worry about possible failure. Why are people so worried before this event? How to overcome your inhibitions and decide to take such a step? And most importantly, how to learn to kiss?

How to learn to kiss for the first time

The main reason for fear is the possibility of doing something wrong. However, every reason for fear also has its original basis. Most often it is associated with the largest complexes. A person fears failure because of such thoughts:

“I can be abandoned, rejected, left alone”(fear of loneliness, painful attachment);
“He/she will tell everyone that I didn’t succeed.”(dependence on public opinion);
“He/she finds out that I’m stupid and starts laughing at me.”(low self-esteem);
“I can't do everything right. There will be inaccuracies and mistakes in my movements. I still don’t have much experience.”(excessive perfectionism);
“No one will want to kiss me later”(fear of the future, exaggeration, unhealthy maximalism);
“I will start laughing, crying, or acting weird or disgusting.”(rejection of your emotions, their suppression, instead of control).

To solve underlying problems, it is better to consult a psychologist. However, it is still possible to reduce worries so that they do not interfere with enjoying the process and feelings without the help of a specialist.

How to overcome your fear

Conventionally, two methods of dealing with fear can be distinguished. Each of them is effective alone, but in combination they work even better. Below are the basic principles of these methods.

Physical

Concentration on breathing. In a stressful environment, a person begins to breathe intermittently, shallowly. If he tries to restore deep, measured breathing, he will feel better.
Removing the block. Nervousness causes the abdominal muscles to tense and cause spasms. Because of this, unpleasant sensations arise (“sucking in the pit of the stomach,” nausea, stomach rumbling, bloating). To avoid them, just relax the point in the center under the ribs.
Reducing tremor. Trembling and/or sweaty palms are a common sign of anxiety. To reduce the level of this phenomenon, you can tense your hands and fingers as much as possible for a few seconds, and then sharply relax them.
Fighting stuttering. You don’t want to mumble, mutter something out of place, stammer or stammer in front of your passion. Therefore, it is better to wait one and a half to two seconds before each answer. This will be enough for the brain to group information and form an adequate response.

Psychological

The interlocutor's thoughts. If this is the first kiss, then it is also exciting for the partner. And even for a person experienced in this matter. It is enough to realize the fact that the couple is also experiencing some confusion and worry, and it will become easier.
Acceptance of any outcome. Often the fears in the head turn out to be much larger and more terrifying than they really are. You can think over your fears and make sure that they are not fatal, and that time does not stop running because of them.
Confession. Short phrase“I’m a little worried” will help relieve tension, for both lovers. Many people find this kind of frankness quite endearing. This same sincerity forces others to open up, show trust, and generally become closer.
Confidence. The most difficult, but the most effective method- increased self-esteem. Loving yourself means responding to stress more easily. The path to adequate self-perception is long and thorny. However, even attempts, small steps in this direction will be noticeable.

Where fears come from and how to deal with them is already clear. However, how to learn the technique of kissing? Explanations in words are not always clear. Moreover, sometimes they are even more confusing. Then in what ways can one comprehend this art?

How to learn to kiss correctly

Watch videos

It is rightfully considered a storehouse of knowledge in this matter. YouTube. All you have to do is type in the query “how to kiss correctly” - and the site will give you thousands of video tips. Plus This method is in its clarity, because in the videos the kiss is shown up close, almost in cross-section. Although such rendered 3D graphic clips probably also exist.

Main minus- lack of practice, tactile sensation. But this can be easily dealt with by using the following recommendations.

Ask experienced friends for help

Older brothers, sisters, and already “experienced” friends can come to the rescue. It is enough to ask them to demonstrate in detail the kiss with their couples. Or at least just show the basic movements of the lips and tongue, if the “teachers” are not in a relationship with anyone.

Better don't ask demonstrate the technique on yourself. This, of course, will add to the experience, but, firstly, all the charm of the first time will disappear, and, secondly, awkwardness will appear and then it will be difficult to look into the eyes of an acquaintance or acquaintance.

Use your fingers

This technique is quite simple, practical, but very effective. Procedure:

leave the index and middle fingers straight and bend the rest towards the palm;
spread your straightened fingers slightly to the sides - just a little, so that there is a small gap between them, equating to slightly parted lips;
practice light kissing and biting. Try to gently lick the skin, checking whether too much saliva remains on it;
try to gently close your lip with your fingers, imitating your partner’s movements;
barely stick the pad of your thumb between two straight lines - this is a “model” of the tip of the tongue on which you can practice;
if this is not enough, you can bend the little finger of the other hand and use it instead of the thumb, adjusting the degree of bend so that it imitates the width of the tongue.

The good thing about this method is that it includes theory and practice, is carried out on your own, and does not require an abstruse approach. A little imagination, a pinch of effort - and everything will work out.

Use the right products

The most common, still “old-fashioned” method is especially respected tomatoes. However, the skin of this fruit do not like on the lips. It is smooth, while the lips can be rough. The skin easily glides over the tomato, but with real contact, the lips rub, and if you don’t lick them, they can stick to each other.

Based on this, it is better to use ripe, juicy peach. It is rough, softer on the outside and inside, vulnerable to rough movements, and also does not contain small seeds or seeds. It is enough to bite off a small piece, forming a small recess, similar to an open mouth.

Main- do not overdo it and do not develop an allergy.

Practice in front of the mirror

Kissing requires close enough contact that the partner will not be able to see the whole picture of the action. However, he will notice jaw movements, head tilts, facial expressions in general.

So that the facial expression says “ I am the most kissable person in the world!", but not " What a horror this first time is! I'm going to faint now!”, you can practice in front of a mirror.

First, the skill is honed with with open eyes so you can keep track of everything. Then, when the actions become more or less automatic, the eyes are closed, and all the steps taken are reproduced “blindly”.

Rely on nature

Sometimes it's simple enough let go of the situation and let the event happen on its own. Reflexes will prompt the base, and then all that remains is to adapt to the movements of the couple or simply start mirroring them.

If this step seems too hard, perhaps a first kiss would be better. postpone. And time can be spent getting closer to your partner, overcoming a period of acute awkwardness. After crossing such a milestone, it will be much easier to decide on such an important romantic step.

What to do if the first attempt fails

Realize that life is not over, the sun still rises and sets, and the Earth rotates in the same direction. However, it will be easier to endure unpleasant emotions in solitude or with a close friend/relative/dog.
Don't swear regarding retries. Perhaps not right away and not even with the same person, but everything will work out. And in a year, if not much earlier, the memory of this incident will only bring a smile.
Analyze, something went wrong. Maybe it's a matter of inexperience or carelessness. And sometimes the reason for failure is the partner’s lack of the same experience.
Remember the reaction couples. If a person openly began to ridicule, then most likely he tried to cover up his own complexes with this laughter. If the partner encouraged, reassured, or continued to try to kiss, then everything is not so bad. Finding the courage to meet him again is the best solution.

This article describes how to learn to kiss and what to do in nervous situations. However, stories about the first kiss are numerous and different. Some people spend weeks on end learning this art and still end up in trouble. And some people don’t bother at all about this and simply enjoy the pleasant excitement that arises before one of the most romantic events of their life. The main thing is not the technique, but the live emotions between lovers.

Paralyzing fear, coming from somewhere inside and always manifesting itself at the wrong time, breaks the plans created. It would seem that you have found the one you were looking for, here she is standing right in front of you, but uncertainty in words and timidity in the body ruin any chance of achieving female attention.

Fear of meeting a girl is a common disease characteristic of any age categories and what is most dangerous if not identified main reason occurrence, then there is a very high probability that it will remain for life.

We will analyze the main reasons for the emergence and manifestation of “fear of approach” in order to save you from this illness and give you free communication in any situation!

What is “Fear of Approach?”

"Fear of Approach"– complex and individual feature causing fear of communication with the opposite sex. There is only one way to get rid of it once and for all, one, but guaranteed effective method.

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Any fear, not just the fear of girls, is the result of negative experiences in the past. The same experience that brought physical or mental discomfort.

When, showing initiative and courage in anything, you came across “sharp rocks”, an unpleasant imprint remained in your memory, which is then imposed on all subsequent attempts to change the situation.

The reason for its occurrence could be not so much you yourself as the environment, namely: An unpleasant interlocutor who greatly insulted or offended you, a pretty girl who rudely told you off, or a friend who laughed at your idea, which you have since been afraid to implement.

If we strain our memory, then each of us will find in the secluded corners of our consciousness those very “dark” days through the prism of which we perceive the present and even future life.

But how can this be, if everyone has such memories, but fear of acquaintance, although many, but not everyone? This is an individual matter, depending on willpower, character traits and temperament. You can even strengthen this disease by saying that it is initially inherent in everyone, and overcoming it is your personal duty! But let's not make things worse dark paint, this is not true, but everything is exactly like that in relation to you!

How so? It's simple! A woman is mysterious and unclear, and the unknown always causes fear, that’s why there is a mystery, so that it can be solved!

Hearing the burning “No” once again means adding plus one memory to the piggy bank that you really want to get rid of. Vicious circle? Before trying to open it, you need to get rid of existing complexes and prevent the emergence of new ones. It's like trying to solve a math problem without going through the topic, and convincing yourself of your stupidity every time you get the wrong answer! It’s funny and naive, but this is exactly how it happens when communicating with girls.

Fear is not a physical phenomenon, but a defense mechanism of the body that makes itself felt every time you strive to conquer the unknown! In our case, the identification of universal mystery is a beautiful girl!

A guy who is ashamed of himself asks the question, how to meet a girl? - instead of asking - What do you need to get rid of the garbage in your head?

How to overcome the fear of dating?

The actual treatment process follows a very simple, but time-consuming formula: To get rid of bad experiences in the past, you need positive result, at least once, that will be more than enough!

But how can you achieve success in something where you have been plagued by failure for many years? The next time the opportunity presents itself, when the beautiful lady you already have your eye on appears again, you need to “turn off your brain”! It sounds crazy, but now you will understand everything!

When the same or similar situation is repeated, the event or several events that caused your panic complex and fear of opening your mouth, the brain automatically reproduces “unsuccessful takes” in the subconscious. It’s a self-preservation lever that you can’t get rid of, but you have to learn to control. You remember the past, which stops you in the present, again I will hear “No”, again they will not support me, like last time, they will laugh at me again, and so on.

“Turning off the brain” means not thinking about it, just forgetting and forgetting about what once was. Relax, this time everything is new. Another woman, another time and perhaps even a different you, just don’t think about the bad experiences. It sounds easy, of course, but in reality it is not enough.

Until you get it into your head that new girl- a blank slate, nothing will help. On this sheet you have the opportunity to draw and portray yourself in any way you want, to do and say whatever you want, of course, this is a metaphor, but the essence is clear.

If you don’t stress yourself out too much, don’t think about your own, most often imaginary, complexes, then everything will go exactly as you imagine. For healing, one successful time is enough, and a long list of failures will fade into the background in comparison with the long-awaited success.

A woman can smell complexes, phobias, timidity of words, as well as bodies, from a kilometer away, remember this! To hear “Yes” from the desired lady, you will have to practice on your appearance, manner of speaking and behavior in society.

Fear of girls not only limits your communication, but also reinforces the false idea of personal inferiority. I don’t think it’s worth telling what consequences this might have. No need, they are afraid. You are not going to tame a wild animal that can tear you to shreds. And this is much more dangerous.

As soon as yours spiritual world will find the right and expedient direction, the body will cease to show signs of fear and uncertainty, since the fear of women simply will not be in you.

It all starts with the head, and while there is chaos and confusion in it, there is no point in playing sports in the hope of attracting attention with the body. Even an athletic physique and good looks will not give you confidence, because The reason for the “fear of approach” does not lie in a physical disability, they say, you are too ugly for her, but deep in the subconscious.

Think over your line, which you will say after the words of introduction. A well-thought-out beginning of a dialogue gives confidence and a state of peace.
Give a mental countdown from 3 seconds. And then just take it and come over. The brain switches itself off after such a sharp shock and no longer burdens you with unnecessary doubts.
Have a fight with a friend that you can meet a girl. You will either achieve your goal or lose respect for yourself, which is very unpleasant. You can also make a monetary bet for motivation, so that the desire to retreat from the goal will finally disappear, and victory will also bring money!

Additional techniques: how to tune yourself to the desired wavelength, from a professional pickup artist:

Psychology of communication with girls

To make a conversation with a lady as easy and pleasant as possible, you need to know and understand the peculiarities of their psychology. Learning interesting communication is not difficult, only if you have a goal and desire.

You need to be able to take the right position in any dialogue, namely to be not only a silent listener, but also to complement the girl, clarify and ask appropriate questions. This is similar to communicating with a friend, the principle is similar, but has its differences. At a minimum the fact that Unlike a friend who can understand your isolation or silence, a girl is not capable of this. Here you yourself will have to set the tone and vector of development of the dialogue, make it interesting and fun.

Here are some tips that you not only can, but must follow if you want to learn how to attract female attention in communication:

Don't complain. Never dump your problems and difficulties on her; no one cares about them except you. Everyone has personal concerns, and that’s why they are personal, since they require independent solutions, and not public discussion.
Develop your horizons. Be well-read and erudite than more information you own, the easier it is to win over those around you. First of all, you need to do this for yourself. As soon as your personal growth begins to differ from what it was yesterday, life will sparkle with new colors. Information owns the world, it is the most valuable resource, being a source of knowledge is always useful and profitable.
The conversation must be active. You should sound confident, clear and, most importantly, lively! Nobody wants to listen to mumble, while a good speaker can interest even a boring topic. Having mastered this skill even a little, the attitude and respect towards you will only go uphill!
Know how to not only tell an interesting story, but also listen convincingly. The girl should see your interest in her words, understand that she is interesting.
always pleasant to everyone. Don’t be shy to talk about the beauty of her figure or hairstyle, a well-chosen accessory and the smell of perfume. This way you will also emphasize your attentiveness.
A man must remain a man under any circumstances. It is necessary, if possible, to strengthen your authority with courageous and good deeds, to arouse some admiration for your person.
Learn to surprise. This good way show your non-standard and originality. Nice gifts and interesting tricks are what you need!
Don't run after a woman, show your independence. Why does she need another errand boy? Be as imperturbable as you are, someone who needs to be conquered. Let her know that you are interested in her, but not by courting her, but by not joining her Fan Club!

General topics for conversation with a girl

In fact, you can talk about anything, as much as you want, anywhere! The question is how to achieve this result? In addition to good and close relationships, you need mutual trust and understanding of each other. You can overcome the barrier of permitted topics only by gradually getting closer to your interlocutor, and then the boundaries will be erased.

If during the meeting you couldn’t even put two words together, then, ultimately, you can spend hours discussing absolutely everything that surrounds you. However, you can start your first live dialogue with the topics given below. They will help you open up emotionally, express your thoughts and establish regular communication.

Examples:

Cloth. Find out what famous brands she likes what clothes she prefers and, of course, compliment her taste.
Almost everyone has pets. Short story about your pet, be it a cat or a fish and why exactly them?
If your relationship is close enough, you can bring up the topic of sex. Discuss familiar couples, are they really suitable for each other?
Religion. One of the topics that you can talk about forever and still not move. You will learn well about the views, philosophy and method of life of the interlocutor, in addition, it is very easy to switch to ghosts, spirits and other supernatural phenomena.
Movie. Talking about films is perhaps one of my favorite topics when dating. We ask what genres she likes, express our opinion and say what we like, explain why, and then invite her to go to the movies. The topic is very broad, you can touch on the actors and argue in the same way which of them are the most significant.

In addition, when talking about your favorite movie, your words will automatically be supported by feelings and emotions, you will enthusiastically tell what you think about this or that. An interesting and ideal topic, especially recommended by me personally!

Favorite books. Unlike films, if you express yourself harshly and carelessly, you can offend a girl. Because negative feedback about the book, is taken personally, as if speaking of bad taste. Of course, these are small things and the topic is certainly excellent. What can characterize a person better than unread books?
Hobbies. Simple and obvious. Conversation about who does what, likes and why. We ask about plans for the future and get even more interesting things.
Food. The most delicious, exotic dishes you've ever eaten. What is included in your daily diet? You can also invite you to a cafe or restaurant to try something delicious!
Favorite holidays and preferred gifts. Surely you will find out her birthday, ask what she wanted, what would be given to her. Favorite time year, month and why exactly it!

Fear of girls is, first of all, a complex that needs to be gotten rid of immediately! detailed instructions in the video:

A relationship expert teaches you how to overcome your fears. A must watch!!!

Find out how easily and simply you can help a man overcome his fear of sex and improve your intimate life!

What is important to know?

Very often, men do not have a correct understanding of their nature and when they fail, they begin to feel afraid of every opportunity to be alone with their partner.

It is said about how to eliminate sexual impotence

A man cannot always overcome his fear of sex, which turns into irritability or even hatred. And once desired and attractive sex becomes an obsessive nightmare from which a man is ready to run anywhere. What to do about it?

How to overcome fear of sex?

Who can help a man overcome fear and regain confidence in his strengths and capabilities?

Only a gentle, attentive and loving woman. Using knowledge and her art of seduction¹, she can return her former passion and, unnoticed by a man, raise his self-esteem.

There are several rules that every woman should know.

Rule one

Never start a showdown in the bedroom. Leave all grievances and complaints outside the doors of your room, and if body problems arise, they need to be solved at the body level. As psychologists say, you need to “let go” of the situation and become an outside observer.

Go to the sauna or take a hot bath, which will relax all your muscles, because it is they, and not the brain, that store grievances, stress and lead us through life.

When you feel completely relaxed and not wanting to think about anything, begin “ovarian breathing” while lying in the bathtub. Don’t be surprised if at this moment your husband looks into the bathroom himself. To do this breathing, as you inhale, imagine that air and energy are entering the ovaries, and as you exhale, it is leaving them.

Rule two

Nature works in such a way that the male body takes about three days to produce sperm, which is wasted during one ejaculation². Of course, there are various deviations, including age-related and psychological, but if your partner ejaculated, pretend that you are happy, satisfied, tired and want to sleep, do not demand that the banquet be continued.

Of course, you can continue the game, but only after very persistent advances from him, and not from you at all. Men don't like being asked to do something they can't do. They may even hate you if they suddenly succumbed to your persuasion and decided that they would succeed, but in fact they failed.

After ejaculation, the man is devastated both directly and figuratively. This is not only a loss of energy, but also a special psychological condition. Just be silent, catch his breath and breathe in unison with your partner.

Ten points to one that he himself will talk about his love.

Rule three

Before you start a love game, offer your man a massage and “warm up” his kidneys. The kidneys are an organ that stores all fears, including the fear of unsuccessful intimacy. Warm your palms, feel the warmth emanating from your palms and place them on the kidney area.

Feel your partner's kidneys and establish contact with them. Then begin to “screw” your palms towards the center, applying slight pressure. The result is a spiral movement of the palms along the spine down and up at the sides.

Having made thirty-six such spirals, place one hand on the lower back and the other on the sacrum. Moreover, the hand that gives energy should be on the sacrum, and the hand that receives energy should be on the lower back. Do it lightly, in the form of a game or meditation.

During spiral movements, begin, unnoticed by your partner, to contract and relax the vaginal muscles in time with his breathing. Be sure that you will not have time to count to thirty-six, and your partner will already have forgotten about his fears.

Now smile, hide this article, and no external initiative. Only inner feeling. No words. Complete relaxation and a smile that comes from the comfortable state of your body.

Notes and feature articles for deeper understanding of the material

² Male ejaculation is the release of seminal fluid from the urethra during sexual intercourse or forms of sexual activity replacing it (