How should we treat our mothers. Respect for parents. Children should not speak in front of their parents in a raised tone.

A series of lectures by psychologist Archpriest Andrey Lorgus continues at the Pokrovsky Gate cultural center. We bring to the attention of readers a lecture on the fulfillment of the fifth commandment.

Andrey Lorgus

Should grown children obey their parents? What is the difference between reverence and submission? How did the biblical forefathers treat their parents? How to relate to the parents of a child who grew up in a foster family?

That the fulfillment of the fifth commandment causes modern man the hosts of the evenings, practical, know certain problems from their professional experience, and Archpriest Andrei Lorgus also knows from pastoral experience. It is with these problems that people often come for a consultation with a psychologist and ask questions to the priest at confession and in personal conversations.

In the auditorium of the cultural center "Pokrovsky Gates" many questions on the topic of parent-child relations also accumulated, and at the end of the evening there was an opportunity to ask them. “Do I have to obey my mother in everything in order to be good son? - asked the psychologists a man of about forty, and this question was hard-won.

What should we do with parents?

Problems arise not with the understanding of the fifth commandment, but with its fulfillment. Of course, I love my parents, they are my dearest people. But what is it that the Church tells me to do in relation to them? Reverence - is it something sublime, something important? It seems that veneration is a very complex and difficult thing to accomplish.

On the other hand, it is not easy to embody the ideal of love for parents that one would like in life. Often we, adult children, have to hear reproaches from our mothers. So our relationship is imperfect?

Since psychology became popular, the relationship of a person with parents has become a byword. The thesis that the family in which he grew up is to blame for all the problems of a person, as they say, "went to the people", and the parents were to blame for everything - from childhood injuries to the notorious Oedipus complex, which even grandmothers on the bench are now talking about. There are indeed problems, but what does all this have to do with the fulfillment of the fifth commandment? With this we will try to figure it out.

The main problem is that our subjective attitude towards parents, which began to take shape from the first months of our life, and even earlier, before our birth, and the modern idea of ​​how we should relate to them, to put it mildly, do not match. The way we should treat our father and mother, and the way we really treat them, turns out to be very different things. Why is that?

The forefathers were not "daddy's sons"

What does the Church mean by honoring parents? This norm is taken from the ten commandments given to Moses, and it says very important things that are worth paying attention to. "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God is giving you." That is, honor your parents and it will be good for you on earth, you will be long-lived on it.

There is a definite benefit here. This commandment does not sound like an obligation to honor your parents, but essentially offers a pragmatic approach: if you honor your parents, you will feel good, and, in addition, you will also gain longevity.

Why? After all, all examples from modern life tell us the opposite. Is it good for children who are dependent on their parents? Sissy without an opinion, and adult daughter, who spent her whole life sitting near her mother's skirt - do we see them happy and long-term?

All our modern experience suggests that children who are dependent on their parents suffer disaster in their lives. They cannot fix their family life, are unsuccessful in the profession, and psychologically they are destroyed, or simply did not take place as individuals. Is this what is meant by obedience, such dependence, such attachment? Of course not!

Pay attention to the heroes of the most famous biblical stories about honoring parents. How do Sim or Isaac behave, who also became famous as patriarchs, forefathers? These people at one time showed absolutely phenomenal obedience, but it did not prevent them from acting independently all their lives, making decisions on their own. The love for their parents that they showed did not prevent them from doing bold, unusual and rather unexpected deeds, they themselves determined their life path.

That's for sure Isaac is not a "daddy's boy"! He is a completely different person, powerful, courageous, majestic. When Abraham was about to sacrifice him, he was about 14 years old, and the obedience shown by him at this age did not in the least prevent him from becoming great, just as the virtue shown in honoring his father did not prevent Shem from becoming great.

There are many other stories in the Bible that confirm to us the biblical commandment to honor parents. But honoring parents does not negate generational freedom, creativity, risk, independence.

Old Testament - anatomy of kinship

If we look at the Old Testament, we see a very important pattern. Before us is the book of offspring, the book of childbirth. The Old Testament could not have taken place if there were no coherence and deep ties in relations between generations. Moreover, these are not things related to spiritual achievement, but a kind of anthropology, the anatomy of kinship, the anatomy of the well-being of a family, a person, a clan. And at the basis of this well-being lies the veneration of parents. This is a reverence that does not in the least deprive the next generation of its freedom, creativity, risk. This is the biblical ideal of honoring parents.

But there are things that are connected with the will of the parents. One of such things that can be traced quite rigidly in the life of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob is the attitude towards God, the second is the blessing for marriage. These are fundamental points that the fathers followed very strictly.

The New Testament attitude toward honoring parents is somewhat broader. The novelty here is such - the Lord says to the apostles: "Give up everything and follow me." Did the apostles ask their parents for blessings in order to follow Christ? Probably not. Most likely, it was a rather bold and unexpected act.

From idealization to acceptance, from submission to veneration

Looking at healthy child who grows up in a complete family, we can find the following stages in the development of relationships with parents.

Children 6–9 years old (for girls this is a period from 6 to 8 years, for boys - from 7 to 9) idealize their parents, treat them completely uncritically: “Dad can do anything”, “Mom is the most beautiful”. At the same time, children do not really know their parents, rather, they perceive them as some kind of omnipotent and omniscient beings. A child's attachment to his parents, both emotional and physical, dependence is complete. We used to say that the child of the parent obeys. In fact, it is about submission and obedience.

Obedience as a spiritual virtue is not for children. It's just that we're used to using the word. Why does the child obey and obey? Because the child does not yet have his own will, it is only being formed, the child still does not control himself well and is not yet responsible for himself. The child will gradually master his will and get used to responsibility. During this period, it is very important for parents not to overload him, but on the other hand, to give him the opportunity to learn responsibility.

AT adolescence everything is changing. One woman said: "When I came to the first grade, I was terribly disappointed - I saw that my mother was not the most beautiful." At school age, the child begins to compare parents, parents have a competitor - the first teacher. At the peak of adolescence, relationships with parents undergo very serious changes, there is a depreciation of parental figures. If a teenager says: “I will never be as stupid as my mom”, or “as stupid as my dad” - this is a healthy teenager.

Why should parents be devalued? Why show independence and defiance? A teenager needs to feel like a separate person, different, not like his parents. After all, he would then have to live alone! If he remains in this idealization, then it will be impossible for him to go into his own life. During this period, children do not want to be like their parents in anything. This is normal, or rather, it is a normal stage in the development of a person. Otherwise, it will be difficult to break away from the parent nest.

An adult normally perceives his parents realistically. He sees both their strengths and their weaknesses. At the same time, an adult person accepts and appreciates his parents. And at this stage, having freedom, independence, will and responsibility, an adult can show reverence towards his parents. Honor is a conscious choice. The child cannot read, he can only obey.

An adult getting stuck in childhood (idealization of parents) or in adolescence (devaluation of parental figures) leads to a distortion in the relationship of adult children with their parents, to the infantilization of relationships.

When parents, appealing to the fact that they should be honored, demand obedience and submission from adults already people, this does not apply to the commandment of veneration, but to the younger school age. From adults who have their own will and responsibility, to demand complete submission and obedience means to return them to childhood, to infantilize, and this can be equated with cruel treatment.

Commandments are not for children!

Only an adult can fulfill the commandments, and not just an adult in age, but a spiritually mature one. If a person is infantile, he cannot fulfill any commandments.

We can observe how people get stuck at one stage or another in their relationship with their parents. For example, you can hear from an adult man that his mother - best woman in his life. Attitude towards parents as saints, the best in the world, indeed, is similar to idealization. Each of us has weaknesses and shortcomings, idealizing his parents, a person becomes blind and involuntarily repeats parental mistakes. Is it easy for a person for whom better than dad and mom is no one, find a mate? Often such people remain in parental families without finding a pair. Healthy criticality in communication for adults is necessary.

Parents are not perfect, but they are usually not monsters either. But, nevertheless, a significant part of people get stuck precisely in adolescence. Recognizing a father or mother in himself, a person begins to fight with himself. People spend significant efforts not to find their own way, but to “not repeat the path of their parents.” It doesn't lead to anything good.

But we looked at how relationships develop in a healthy, ideal situation. But there are situations when in childhood it is very difficult for a child to idealize his parents, when their behavior not only does not give rise to idealization, but also causes fear and anxiety in the child.

Then idealization, the dream of a good parent, will live in a person's heart. This is dangerous. Because with this dream of an ideal parent, it is not only difficult to accept a real parent, but often it is impossible to build normal marital relations, because they will play the child-parent model. Choosing a spouse, such a person either looks for a parent or "adopts" a partner.

It would seem that a person who has a certain ideal parent in his heart should himself be a parent, at least a good one. But this, unfortunately, is not the case. Such people, as a rule, either make excessive demands on their parenthood, putting the ideal into practice with all their might, or completely refuse to raise children, delegating them to someone, becoming “vicious mothers” according to the principle: “why try, if the ideal I still can’t be a parent?”

What should an adult's attitude towards his parents look like? Ideally, it should consist of 4 components: recognition, acceptance, respect and gratitude. Note that there is no submission, no acceptance of parental values, no agreement. In order to fulfill the fifth commandment, one does not need to obey one's parents, one does not need to ask their permission, one does not need to coordinate one's actions and one's free choices with their will. All this is not included in the veneration of parents.

Thank you for giving birth!

What is recognition? It would seem, what problems - my father - my father, my mother - my mother. But often there are attempts to refuse, not to accept parents: “You are not my father!”, “You are not my mother” - sometimes these are phrases thrown in the heat of a quarrel, and sometimes - evil teenage dreams borne in the heart. This is the grave sin of not honoring - not recognizing one's parents as parents.

Acceptance means that I accept the parent as part of myself, part of my nature. This acceptance is carried out not by the mind, but by the heart, it is a certain determination of a person to accept his parents.

But what if the parents are alcoholics? And if they abandoned the baby in the hospital? We may have reasons for not accepting our parents. But the commandment insists on acceptance. It does not say: "Honor your father and mother for what they have done for you" - there are no conditions at all. Honor your parents - you will live long.

Respect for parents should not depend on their qualities and actions, it should not be for their virtues, but already by the very fact of birth (unconditional respect).

Gratitude to parents is an act of accepting the gift that they gave us. From them, we accepted the greatest gift, our life. After all, you can do different things with a gift, for example, tell the giver: “Thank you, but I don’t need it,” or “Take it, I didn’t want it!” Not honoring parents, disrespect for them deprives a person of strength. Moreover, we deprive not only ourselves, but also our children, we tear ourselves out of the family.

Like, there is a state with a system of education and healthcare - so let it be engaged in educating a useful member of society.

As a rule, this approach is found in parents who themselves were brought up in similar conditions.- with the wording "well, we grew up like that - and nothing, we grew up with people." Yes, they have grown up. The question is how happy people are?

Why do we so easily forget our childhood desire to see mom around, listen to a bedtime story, or dream of spending the day off in the park with dad? Or is it a kind of revenge - not specifically for your child, but for life in general: I didn’t have it - and you won’t have it, and nothing will happen to you?

Or maybe it's a desire to instill in a child an understanding that nothing in life is given just like that, that everything needs to be earned?

Spartan living conditions educate character, do not allow to turn into a pampered and capricious creature - this is true. But how far are we willing to go in such parenting methods? Where is the line between reasonable restrictions and deprivation?

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Another extreme that people deprived of attention in childhood can fall into is the desire to participate as much as possible in the life of a child, to anticipate all his dreams and desires, to surround him with all the necessary and unnecessary things that the parent himself lacked in childhood.

How to raise an egoist?

Often, such parents do not want to have a second child, so as not to deprive the first one - after all, he should have all the very best. And the fact that, with this approach, an uninitiated, selfish vegetable grows out of a child is somehow overlooked.

Probably, it seems to parents that the child will appreciate their efforts to ensure an absolutely problem-free existence for themselves. However, disappointment will not keep you waiting - the child will not appreciate the hundredth typewriter or fancy computer.

He simply, due to his age, cannot yet evaluate things and does not know how to determine the amount of effort expended by his parents on the acquisition.

And if the parents keep saying that they are great - they don’t regret anything for the blood, then the child will simply grow up with the realization that he is overvalued in himself, simply because he is.

And in the future he will expect the same attitude from life and those around him - and this is where the most severe disappointment and resentment awaits him - the world is not ready to give him the throne! The throne must be earned, it turns out, or earned - but he does not know how. Not accustomed. Never saw the point in it before.

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That he must, it turns out, deserve something that he did not know refusal from birth? How, in this case, can one condemn 35-year-old foreheads who live on their parents' pension and do not want to bother themselves, if their parents themselves, with their own hands, led them to this and brought them up?

Parents, do you really want a child raised in greenhouse and super-sufficient conditions to be beaten on the head by life with a sledgehammer? So that he feels in his own skin that everything you convinced him of - his exclusivity, super-value - is a lie?

So what do we owe our children? And should we - or is it our free will, our desire?

I have asked this question to many people. Nobody, not a single person could give a clear answer. Someone jumped up: “Nothing!!! I'm all on my own - and he let himself! Someone began to talk for a long time about succession, about our duty to our parents ... Someone tried to turn everything into a joke ... But no one has a clear answer.

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For myself I think like this:

• We owe our children, if we planned them (or did not plan them) and gave birth to healthy parents.

We are obliged to take care of ourselves so that our children do not see before them an example of a disregard for the most important person - themselves. We must be healthy so as not to become a burden to our children sooner or later. Yes, no one is immune from diseases, but we must prevent them as much as possible.

Healthy parents teach their children to be healthy. The health of our children is our duty. This includes both medical issues and clothes adequate for the season, food, rest ... This is the first ..

• We owe our children love

We must show them that love overcomes everything - and poverty, and quarrels, and illnesses, and misunderstandings. Love is not even specifically for children, but all-encompassing love - embracing the family, close people, and birds with butterflies.

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Gratitude for every day you live is also love. Our children need to know that they are loved - and loved by loving parents. This is the second.

• Any knowledge that we share with a child can one day save his life - in a global sense or in a particular one. Knowledge can keep you on the edge, prevent someone from repeating a mistake. We owe our children knowledge.

Knowledge can give an impetus and change life forever. Education is just a small part of the Knowledge that we can give to our children. Small, but important.

• We owe US ​​to our children

We just have to be with them - that's all. Let the children know that no matter how life turns to them, no matter how difficult it is, there is a place where they are always needed. We are always waiting for our children - BEFORE they are born, and after - from school, from the army, from work ...

We are waiting for them. And they should know it - so there is no need to be shy to talk about it ... even without words. Eyes and actions...

And what do you choose: stars from the sky or a living wage?

Honoring parents in Orthodoxy

Honoring parents is the first duty of children. Even in pre-Christian times, it was an unshakable rule among all peoples that the younger ones always revered and respected the elders. Especially the children of their parents.

Honoring parents requires, first of all, nature itself: after all, thanks to parents, we are called to life. And for this alone, mother and father should be valued. And not only for that. Our parents brought us up, educated us, looked after us, vigilantly watched every step, helped when we needed outside help. They endured the greatest sorrows, difficulties, illnesses, failures in their hearts. And, of course, all this teaches children to honor and respect their parents.

There are many examples of the love of parents for their children in the Scriptures. And even the vices of children, their wrong actions, maternal and paternal love can forgive them. Therefore, children should remember this and try to be grateful to their parents. Absalom severely offended his father, the king and prophet David, rebelling against him with his worthless subjects. But listen to what David says to his commanders: save the boy Absalom for me (2 Sam. 18:5), and when Absalom died, David deeply mourned, wept, sobbed and said: “My son, my son Absalom! Oh, who would let me die instead of you... (2 Kings 18:33). Let us also recall from the New Testament story what spiritual grief filled the appeal of the Canaanite woman to the Savior: “Have mercy on me, Lord, son of David, my daughter is violently mad” (Matt. 15, 22). The daughter suffers, but the mother suffers doubly. So she says: have mercy on me, Lord! Such is the tender love of parents towards their children. And children should not forget this. To this parental love, children must also reciprocate, tender love to them.

“Honor your father and your mother, may it be good for you, may you live long on earth,” says the fifth Commandment of God (Exodus 20:12). It is noteworthy that this commandment follows immediately after the commandments about loving God. Then they go: “Thou shalt not kill,” “Thou shalt not steal,” and all the rest. Already from this we can conclude what significance the Lord God Himself attaches to the fulfillment of His will to honor parents. In addition, this commandment is unique for one more reason: it is the only one in which the Lord promises something to a person, namely, a great reward for the fulfillment of this commandment already in current life. Think about it: "May it be good for you, may you live long on earth." The time of our earthly life and the well-being of a person are directly related to the fulfillment of the commandment to honor parents. And it is also said: whoever curses his father or mother, let him die the death (Mt. 15:4). And there are many such examples when a parent's blessing brought down grace on the souls of their children. And vice versa - the parental curse subjected the recalcitrant children to terrible suffering, torment.

St. Nicholas of Serbia writes that honoring parents means that: “Before you knew anything about the Lord God, your parents knew about it. And this is enough to bow to them and give praise and reverence. Bow down and reverently thank everyone who has known the Highest Good in this world before you.” In support of his thought, he gives an example: “One rich Indian youth traveled with his retinue through the valley of the Hindu Kush. In the valley he met an old man tending goats. The beggar old man bowed his head in respect and bowed deeply to the rich young man. The young man, quickly jumping off his elephant, prostrated himself before the old man on the ground. The old man was surprised at such an act of the young man, and all his servants were surprised. The young man said this: “I bow to your eyes, which before mine saw this light, the work of the hands of the Most High, I bow to your lips, which before mine pronounced His holy name, and I bow to your heart, which trembled before mine from the joyful discovery of the Father of all people on earth - the King of Heaven and the Lord of all.

What is the right way to honor your father and mother? Of course, first of all, love them, be sincerely grateful to them, obey them in everything that does not contradict the will of God, do not judge their actions, be patient with their infirmities, take care of them until their death, and after they depart from this peace, earnestly pray for their repose. All this is our sacred duty before God, before the parents themselves, before our children, who are brought up, first of all, not in words, but in our deeds. And, undoubtedly, a duty to ourselves, if we want good for ourselves in life, as it is said in the commandment.

“Day and night, exercise, son, to honor your mother, for in this way you will learn to honor all other mothers on earth,” says St. Nicholas of Serbia. - Verily, children, it is wrong to honor only your father and mother, and not to notice other fathers and mothers. Your reverence for your parents is necessary for you as a school of respect for all people and all women who give birth in agony and raise their children in labor and suffering. Remember this and live according to this commandment so that God will bless you on earth.”

Yes, you should always remember your responsibilities towards your parents. Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk says about this:
“Always pay tribute to those who gave birth to you, and you will be greatly blessed for this. Remember that your parents are your greatest benefactors. Remember all their sorrows, labors, experiences that they raised during your upbringing. And, remembering this, always thank them worthily for this. Do not offend them, show them obedience in everything. But this obedience must be reasonable. Obedience must be in accordance with the word of God and not contrary to the will of God. Do not do or undertake anything without the advice and blessing of your parents. If your parents punish you, if you consider this punishment just, if you really are guilty, then endure this punishment with meekness. Because your parents punish you for a good purpose, to correct you, to be kinder. If you think that this punishment is unfair, you are not guilty, then tell them about it, because you are their child. Do not leave your parents in need, help them, especially in their old age. If you notice any infirmities, weaknesses of your parents, then be afraid to condemn them, all the more so to disclose it to others. Do not imitate Ham, the son of Noah, who, seeing the nakedness of his father, informed the brothers about it. And if in any way you offend your parents, then by all means ask them for forgiveness as soon as possible. The Word of God commands us to ask for forgiveness from every neighbor offended by us, even more so from our parents, whom we must love and honor more than other people.

Children who disrespect their parents lose the blessing of God. They lose the grace of God. Holy Scripture, numerous examples from our lives teach us how we should treat our parents. After all, in our early childhood, our parents, as it were, replaced God with themselves. All power is based on the power of God, approved by the Lord. Moreover, parental authority is approved by the Lord. Therefore, the Lord fulfills the will of the parents in this case. Let us try to fulfill this commandment of God in our lives.

Copyright © 2015 Unconditional Love

Question to a psychologist

Hello. I don't even know where to start. I'm already adult woman I'm 26 years old, and I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I am ashamed, I am guilty before my mother. I divorced my husband and have been living with my son in my parents' house for more than a year. We used to have a relationship a la "mom is always right" and there were no disputes. But when I moved, everything changed. I work, I cook for everyone and for everyone, I buy food with my own money, and besides me and my son, dad, mom, grandmother, dad and mom do not work, paying expenses from my grandmother's pension. But that's not the point, somehow I broke down that why I constantly cook, maybe we can somehow distribute this responsibility, I'm tired of doing it for everyone. and my mother was offended, now at every opportunity, especially if I buy something expensive, she does not eat and sets up dad. and does everything as if I cooked, but did not offer, although I was busy with the child and she could serve everything to the table herself. In short, it's my fault. And now, I bought an apartment, we are doing repairs, my parents volunteered to help, my mother said, “we are relatives.” We went to buy everything for repairs to the store, and my mother immediately went to the jewelry store and bought myself a cross with a silver chain for my money and I said I will return it to you. And then she told dad that, like, the daughter could say, leave mom to herself, that it seems like they once gave me money and didn’t take it back. And this is so all the time, I constantly give money to her and dad for something, but I’m not rubber, why if they are parents, they have the right to infringe on the fact that we are their children and owe them something. Sorry for the confusion, oh after such skirmishes I feel guilty. And although I love my mother, I understand that at any moment she is ready to infringe, to remind me of something that I did wrong. She only thinks she's right. How can I build a relationship with her? Honestly, it's terribly disgusting that I had to come to my parents' house, that I was unlucky with my husband. From some mother's reproaches it becomes uncomfortable. thanks for the answer.

Psychologists Answers

Hello Lena.

You are right, Lena, returning to the parental home as an adult is unpleasant. As if you are confessing your defeat in this way - an attempt to create happy relationship failed. You feel guilty about this. Although the need to create a strong marriage is a stereotype, it turns out differently for everyone, especially since it is difficult today, when the old family attitudes no longer work. So divorce is actually a bold act, a desire to live your own life. But this is also a trauma, no matter how it passes, after which time is needed for the pain and disappointment to subside. In other words, you deserve the sympathy of yourself and those around you. In such a situation, you need the support of loved ones. But it so happened that you do not get it. You really have something to be angry with your mother for. But you blame yourself for it. It seems to you that since you love her, you have no right to be angry. But we are especially angry at those we love. After all, the closer a person is to us, the more painfully he can do. So, maybe, allow yourself this anger. And if you do not fight anger and resentment, let them be when they arise, then they will take their place, and then the space will be cleared for warm feelings for your mother. It's normal not to allow yourself to be used, including by parents. Good luck to you!

How should a person treat his parents, in particular, his mother? What qualities do we appreciate in her? The problem of attitude to the mother is raised by A. Aleksin in his text.

Reflecting on this topic, the author expresses his regrets about those words that he did not have time to convey to his mother. The work begins with a list of the smallest possibilities loving parent: the author's mother really wanted to be treated well, respected, so she probably enthusiastically told "close and familiar and even not very close, what kind of son she has."

Moreover, as Aleksin notes, the mother "strived to understand everything, based on the interests of her son," she forgave him every thing that the author forgot to do, with which he was angry, saying: "I understand how busy you are!" or "I understand how tired you are!". Toward the end of his essay, Aleksin notes an important thought, arguing about the duty of a person to pay more attention to what a mother sometimes sacrifices when helping a child: "Doesn't she give away something without which a person cannot survive on earth"?

The author's position in this text is expressed clearly. Aleksin believes that each person should treat himself with care. close person in life, and asserts: "in time, during their lifetime, we must tell mothers all the good things that we can say and do for them."

I agree with the author's point of view. Often we really forget about such seemingly petty things, for example, "call at the appointed time", which in fact for a parent can be really important. We should spend more time with loved ones.

For the parents of Yevgeny Vasilyevich Bazarov, the hero of I. S. Turgenev's novel "Fathers and Sons", there is nothing in the world more precious than their son. It is understandable - this is their only descendant. Vasily Ivanovich and Arina Vlasyevna are kind to Yevgeny, even trying to do the almost impossible - to understand his nihilistic convictions. Nevertheless, young Bazarov responds to parental care and affection with relative coldness, asking relatives to restrain feelings. Only towards the end of the work can the reader confidently say that Evgeny Vasilievich still had warm feelings in relation to his parents - he simply did not want to show them. This is confirmed by his remark: "People like them cannot be found in your great light during the day with fire."

S. A. Yesenin expresses concern for the parent in the poem "Letter to Mother". The poet worries that "his old woman" is becoming uncomfortable with the news about his behavior, so he seeks to reassure his mother as gently as possible, calling the visions of the "Finnish knife under the heart" "painful delirium" and renouncing the title of "bitter drunkard" . Nevertheless, the lyrical hero asks not to return to the past ("do not wake up what was noted") and especially "to be so sad" about him - he understands that it will not be easy to come to terms with the current notoriety of the poet's mother, but still tries to calm and assure the mother of her health and order.

Thus, the problem of attitude towards parents was raised by writers and poets not only of the 18th-19th centuries: it undoubtedly remains one of the most important problems to this day.

Updated: 2017-05-16

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