How to understand whether a man loves or not: 3 signs of male affection
The truth of life is that a man does not always love the woman he is with. He can bombard her with original gifts, drive her crazy in bed, and even introduce her to her parents... but that won't mean anything. Fiery glances, joint weekends, sex marathons on the skin of a bear - girls, stop being so naive, men are born actors! Sometimes they play so well that they believe their feelings. Of course, until the first serious problem, after which you will be thrown away like used material. How not to fall for this bait and correctly assess his motives? Read our tips.
Loves or not: how to understand how serious a man's intentions are
- Refuse him
It's sad to say this, but there are enough guys in the modern world who take pleasure in morally destroying girls who are in love with themselves. It's like a marathon of narcissism, a source of fuel for their low self-esteem - to get the most affordable one, shake emotions out of it, break their will, and then quit as unnecessary. Tired! It is easy to determine this type by saying a firm “no” to a man. Not the kind of refusal that implies consent, but an absolutely clear "fuck off." Believe me, a truly in love partner will not be able to do this, he will continue to spin around and take care of you from a distance.
- Push the future
Even if a man thinks that he is forever subdued by a woman, showing all the signs of "love insanity", inside he is perfectly aware of his actions. How to check the depth of his feelings? If you have been dating for a long time, it's time to announce your desire to become a married lady. So say: “I want to marry, are you going to call or not?” Believe me, if everything is for real, he will step over his teenage fears and make you his wife, because you are “the one” for him. Well, if falling in love is far-fetched, it turned out to be just a way to brighten up bachelor longing and ensure regular sex - the applicant will merge, only you saw him.
- Assess real actions
How easy is it to get a woman's love, essentially offering nothing but empty promises, fiery assurances of love, and long noodles on the ears? “Wait a bit and I will definitely buy you this dress, then ...” “You'll see, I'll take you to hot countries and make you a queen, if possible!” "Stop wailing, I'll change ... someday." The truth is that feeding a woman "breakfasts" is easy. Men have long figured out the female nature and brazenly use it. Do not be naive, think about what you received from all the promises? The one who loves does not throw words, he is with you in the present tense - he has already screwed the shelf, he has already bought tickets, he has already arrived with a thermometer, he has already gone on a diet and is pumping the press. It is present, not future. He is here.
- Listen to your intuition
The catch is that by asking doubts, you got your answer. Nature has awarded women with a special gift to read someone else's emotional state -. Without him, no mother would be able to raise a child, feel his pain and fear, guess the desires of the baby at some subconscious level. This gift works with men too - when the eyes do not see, but the heart feels. And if a silent question is heard in my head more and more often: “Do they love me?” Most likely, it is rhetorical. Doubt does not appear in a vacuum. Obviously, a man behaves differently than before, something has changed in his look, behavior, intonations ... but your consciousness does not want to believe the signals received, it grabs at any hope, just to delay the moment of insight and inevitable pain.
What to do if a man does not love
You can kill yourself and ignore the signals further, exacerbating the psychological neurosis, destroying your self-esteem. You can muster up the courage and cross him out of your life, starting all over with a clean slate. Or can you stop guessing on the coffee grounds and send a boomerang to your partner - change the relationship so that he is already trying to understand what you feel for him? Your move is small.
Some statistics
We are sure that most women do not understand anything about male love. So where do they get their information from? From pink melodramas like "50 Shades" or drunken conversations with divorced girlfriends who have a lot of claims to the world and a lot of complexes behind a fake neckline? The truth is not always obvious, sometimes we are ready to cling to any illusions, just to keep a man.
What do most of the authors of this topic say? Everything is lapped up, as if a carbon copy: a man in love is described by them as a devoted dog who will always be there; like a daddy that will solve any problem; finally, as an importunate fanatic who will shower you with compliments, forgive any imperfection and respect every whim. It turns out something ephemeral, a kind of miracle of nature, which is lucky to meet not everyone. But you need to believe in a fairy tale!
The problem is that the listed signs were invented by women themselves, who naively attributed their own feelings to men. They forgot, the male is not a woman, he understands the world in his own way, and it is stupid to be offended by him for this. How to find out what a man is really experiencing? We'll discuss below.
What is a man's love
The main indicator of the depth of his feelings is not expensive gifts or coffee in bed. It's not moonlight hugs, scented compliments, or willingness to compromise, no. The love of a man is expressed in the desire to take responsibility for his partner in order to secure her existence as much as possible. This is the natural instinct of a man, who has the following characteristics.
3 signs of a man's true love
Desire to protect partner from danger
This category includes several points at once for the safety of your beloved - give her a roof over her head, earn money for food, and also eliminate other dangerous competitors from the radar of companions. It turns out that a man who loves will definitely be jealous of his woman if she gives a reason, such is the instinct! He will do everything possible to provide his family with housing, at least put this task as a priority for the near future. And he will never skimp on the basic needs of his partner. That is, his money is her money too, no matter what weak men say, covering their carcass with stories about henpecked men who are on a leash with their wife. If he does not want to invest in a woman, if he hides his salary or keeps a secret stash, most likely he does not love.
Responsibility for her health and beauty
A loving man will take care of the health of his woman and her appearance. He will never save on her, saying, “this dress is too expensive, you look like an old one” or “everyone walks in holey boots, you will survive.” A truly loving man will adorn a woman so that she is even more attractive and glows with happiness. Need a hair gel? "OK, buy it." Special shoes? “I don’t understand anything about this, go and take it.” But the most important point: a man who loves will never allow a woman to ruin her health with cigarettes, alcohol or the habit of trampling food at night.
His priority is her well-being, the health of their future children, the quality of sex, and indeed the lifestyle in general, directly depend on this. A real man will drag a woman to the gym, teach her to follow her diet by personal example, and instead of cakes and chocolate, he will bring flowers or tickets to the theater. If a partner does not care what she eats, how she spoils her nerves at an unloved job, ruins her health by carrying bags of cement for his garage, or degrades at a computer monitor, because he is too lazy to take her attention with interesting things ... this is not love.
Desire to conceive a child with her
When a man finds that same woman, even if he never thought about offspring, an insight suddenly clicks inside him: “In the future, I only want children from her.” This feeling is inherent in evolution itself - to finally mark the female as his own, to fertilize her with his seed so that no one can take away the precious trophy. Even if he is afraid of responsibility, even if he is used to living freely and independently, love will change his views, creating a family will not seem like such a wild idea. In any case, a loving partner will never force his woman to have an abortion, this is not in his rules. But if he sees no prospects with her, it's easy, no public opinion will come to his senses. He will make a random "gift" and run away into the sunset, because he will not worry about the future of his partner, about her survival and other vicissitudes of fate.
So, your man may also be that emotional cracker, aggressive vandal, selfish or workaholic who spends more time with work than with you. He may not remember the date of the anniversary, not please with pleasant surprises, polish the barbell in the gym instead of taking the children to the circus. But if at the same time he observes all three points listed above, if he is ready to bear responsibility for you and silently work for your well-being, then he loves. How can, laconic, ugly. But that is his nature.
