Learn to support your friend when she's feeling really bad. A friend broke up with her boyfriend: ways to help support her How to support a friend who had a fight with her boyfriend

How to comfort a friend correctly without hurting her?

Right

“Cry. Allow yourself"

Sometimes people feel some kind of guilt, real or imaginary, for breaking up. And because of this, they avoid feeling sorry for themselves and experiencing pain. In fact, experiencing emotions is liberating. And the squeezed ones are the opposite. If you want to cry, you have to cry.

"You are good. We love you"

When people break up, self-esteem very often falls and a person falls into despair. It's time to remind you that your love and friendship, other people's assessment of your friend has not changed because they are no longer together.

“Today you feel bad, but it will pass, believe me”

Immediately after the breakup, no future exists, or it is painted in gloomy tones. Slowly build a bridge to tomorrow - this is the best thing you can do for an upset person, to give hope.

"One day you will wake up and everything will be alright"

Because you are good, we love you and everything passes sooner or later. The most effective consolation a woman has ever heard was given by one mother to her daughter: “Before your dad, I had crazy love with another man. And when we broke up, I was in despair and thought that I would never meet anyone with whom I could be happy. I thought so for a very long time. But I was wrong, I met your dad and we have you.”

How to calm a girl down: phrases you shouldn't say

But this can only cause harm

“Come on, forget it, you’ll find someone else”

Unlike the advice above, this one sounds like the previous relationship was worthless. This is wrong. All relationships are worth something, and they should be respected. If you don’t see a problem in her grief, then what are you doing here? Such categoricalness will only finish off a person who is already feeling bad.

"He was a goat"

Even so, your friend is now crying bitter tears for this goat. Because for you he was a goat, and for her - Ivanushka, Ivan Tsarevich. Who may have been a bit of a jerk, but he loved her and made her happy in his own way.

Unless her ex really deserves it kind words, then focus not on how bad he was, but on what issues will make her feel better.

"You're better than her"

There is nothing worse than comparing. Besides, no one will believe you, even if you tell the truth. And any comparison leads to the fact that your friend will worry about her imperfections even more. How to calm your girlfriend down? Just don't compare. Just don't touch this topic.

Various events happen in our lives - joyful or tragic. If people didn't help each other through them, it would be much harder to come out of such a deep emotional experience. We may not always be able to find the right words to express our sympathy or compassion, but we can simply be there. And this presence will say more than any prepared phrases.

Words of support to a friend or friend in difficult times are very important. Everyone knows them - “I’m sorry”, “I sympathize”, “everything will be fine”, “with time the pain will pass”, “time heals”, etc. You just need to remember that no words themselves can help or calm a person. It is important that words of sympathy and support are supported by your sincere participation.

If grief happens

If you are unable to support the person in person, do it over the phone. Just call and express words of support and sympathy. This is always very important. The main thing is to speak sincerely, ask if you can help with anything? Try to speak clearly but calmly. A person in an emotionally depressed state, experiencing grief, cannot always adequately assess reality.

Remember that it is not the words themselves that are important to a person, but your sincere willingness to come to his aid. Even just being with a person in difficult times is very important. If you want to somehow console a person, think about what would help you personally? What words of sympathy and consolation would help you in such a situation?

Well, for example, if a woman who was married for 20 years was left alone because her husband left for someone else, she needs not just words of support, she needs a specific plan for a decent way out of the current life situation. The words “You need to calm down, everything will be forgotten, everything will pass” are unlikely to help here.

It is better to tell her that she is an attractive, quite young woman. That you need not to give up, but to put yourself in order, continue to live, build new relationships, create new family. After all, at 45, life is just beginning, the children have grown up and you can finally devote time to yourself. Offer her a shopping trip together, make an appointment with a cosmetologist together.

If the family of your friend or girlfriend is experiencing grief, one of his relatives or people close to him has died, stay close as long as possible, help with organizing funeral events. If a person experiences deep despair and cannot adequately perceive reality, pose to him a number of questions regarding the organization of mourning events that need to be urgently resolved. Tell him that his loved ones need him, they also need his help.

Words of support in difficult times are very important. But you don't have to wait for something bad to happen. Just tell your friend that you will always stay with him no matter what happens. This simple words will remain in your memory and strengthen your friendship.

How to support a loved one if failures follow?

As you know, life is a complex thing, it consists not only of victories and joys, but also of disappointments. Therefore, if your loved one is going through a period of bad luck, you need to support him and help him get through this difficult period of life. The main thing is not to get confused. But finding the right words is not always easy.

What to do in such a situation - sympathize, find encouraging words, or just sit silently next to him? After all, people in a difficult, emotionally tense situation may react differently to your participation. If this also applies to men, it is better to immediately refuse to show pity.

Pity poisons relationships

Of course, you really want to feel sorry for the person. But you need to understand that pity is destructive, especially when it comes to the stronger sex. Pity degrades dignity. And with large portions, it can relax a person and not encourage him to act. He stops looking for a way out of the current situation and struggling with the negative circumstances that have arisen. It’s better to tell him that everything that happened is not a problem, that you can cope with everything together. Tell him that you believe in him, his capabilities and you know for sure that he will definitely succeed.

Don't give up, but take action

In order to bring your loved one out of a negative state, so that he does not give up, but begins to act, you yourself must believe what you say. Believing in his strength, you will be able to bring your loved one “out of his stupor” without long phrases or explanations, push him to active actions.

Tell him that if the problem that has arisen is large-scale, multi-stage, in order to develop the desired solution, it is better to break it down into small parts, and then solve each one sequentially, gradually eliminating it all.

And also, never do anything for him. He must believe in himself and decide everything himself. You can easily guide him with advice. You should not relax a man; it is better to help him show his masculine qualities, ingenuity, will, and strength. Don't take the burden of his problems on your shoulders. Otherwise, each time this load will become heavier. By solving his problems for him or offering to passively wait out difficult times, you yourself will gradually turn your beloved into a loser, for which he will hate you when he sees that he missed some opportunities.

If grief or some sad event occurs in the life of your loved one, just be with him. Sometimes, no words are needed. Your mere presence next to him, a kiss, a hug, can work better than any comforting words.

Sooner or later a situation arises when you need the help of your friends. Then it becomes clear who a true friend, and some are just acquaintances, with whom you can only go shopping.

An important test for friendship is when a friend needs support.

The reasons can be very different. A friend fell in love or broke up with her boyfriend, she has troubles at home or at school, she is going through her parents' divorce or terror from her classmates... After all, maybe she is suffering from autumn depression! What matters is not that, but whether you can help her. How to support a friend, what to do in this case?

- First, listen to your friend. Listen to her without interrupting. If she is upset, it is very important for her to talk about the problem in full detail. Don't criticize your friend or show your skepticism. It is quite possible that for you her problems are trivial, but for her they can almost mean the end of her life! Each person has his own values, so even if you do not understand her condition, do not rush to express your opinion. It’s better to put yourself in your friend’s shoes, so it will be easier for you to understand her.

- Once you know what the problem is, discuss all possible ways to solve it. Think together about how you can improve the situation. It is likely that the upset friend did not even think about what to do to solve the problem. You must first of all help her understand what to think, how to act next and where to look for a way out of the situation. And sitting and shedding tears is, of course, a pleasant thing, but useless.

— Besides your friend’s terrible problem, there are many other things in this life. Sometimes the best thing is to take your mind off your troubles and move on to something else. Think about how to get your friend out of depression. Sofa mode and watching tearful melodramas is not an option! Invite a friend to a party, go to the movies, or at least take a walk in the park. Life doesn't end after all. Maybe after a little fun, your friend will look at her problem differently.

— Give your friend an idea to change something about yourself. Appearance important even in a state of depression due to lost love. In addition, external changes often lead to internal changes. A new stage of life begins for a friend, and new things are often accompanied by suffering and losses. The main thing is to survive this period. In the meantime, suggest that your friend change her hairstyle, dye her hair, or buy a new skirt. It's even better if you make a new thing out of... old clothes! Come up with different images for yourself, experiment with cosmetics. This will not only improve your mood, but also create a thirst for change and an interest in life!

- Remember: sympathy is not wiping away tears and nodding your head in response to cries that everything is bad and we will all die. The main thing is to help your friend take steps to change the situation! Instill in her that shedding tears around the clock is not an option. Discussing problems is important, but you can’t endlessly complain and complain about life!

True friends will always help when support is needed.

If you are ready to listen to your friend and help her, to understand her without moralizing and skepticism, then you are a wonderful friend! You can always be relied upon.

However, friendship is not only the ability to help in difficult situations, but also the ability to be happy for your friend when she is happy. Sometimes this can be more difficult, because the success of others often hurts us. Do not forget about it!

The situation is perhaps close and familiar to women, because it is necessary to support best friend, who for some reason was abandoned by her boyfriend. This can be a difficult, almost impossible task, especially if the unfortunate friend is very suspicious, has strong feelings for the person who betrayed her and has a tendency to be hysterical. So what to do in this case? How to console? After all, it is quite difficult to find the right words, and conversation is exactly what an inconsolable friend needs in such a situation.

How to support a friend who broke up with her boyfriend? Morally!

This is not only difficult, but often very difficult for the comforter herself, because if her friendship is sincere, she will certainly feel the pain tormenting her friend’s heart. And then the question is no longer , how to support a friend who broke up with her boyfriend, but how to cope with your own anxiety and not upset her even more. Naturally, everything should be tied to dialogue. The problem is not how to start it, there will be no problems with that, but in choosing the right words.

Breakup... How to support a friend who broke up with her boyfriend?

Most importantly, you should never feel sorry for your unhappy friend - this will emphasize her sad feelings and only make everything worse. It doesn’t matter how, but she needs to clearly feel full support and participation, that she is not alone and that in fact not everything is as bad as it seems.

How to support a friend who has been verbally abandoned by her boyfriend?

You need to be a good psychologist, but it is more important to remain a caring and devoted friend

In such situations, women try to turn the unfortunate woman against the guy who left her, but under no circumstances should this be done! It is better to mention it as little as possible and focus more attention on it, remembering the bright, bright moments in life.

The best words of consolation are quotes and sayings of great people that this is not a tragedy, everything is only for the better - Omar Khayyam, for example, left a rich legacy in this regard.

A friend who has been dumped by her boyfriend needs to be supported correctly! Basic Rules

Of course, distract from sad thoughts, keep you busy with something. The ideal option is to pull it out Fresh air, to nature, to the park, to a bench near the house, it doesn’t matter where, the main thing is that she does not stay for a long time in a place associated with a former lover who resurrects him in his memories. At the same time, you need to constantly distract with something, without leaving you alone with depressing thoughts, but it is also important not to overdo it.

Basic support rules:

1. You should never introduce your friend to a new guy, because this will cause unpleasant associations.
2. Forget about the phrase “You will find something better for yourself,” at this moment the guy who left her will be not just the best, but the very best.
3. No alcohol! This aggravates the sad state and does not heal at all, as is believed.

A friendly shoulder is exactly what you need.

How to support a friend is a question that often makes us rack our brains, because life is not easy, sooner or later everyone finds themselves in a difficult situation. And that’s when we need your reliable friendly shoulder, sensitivity, understanding... It seems like simple words, but sometimes we don’t know what exactly is required of us, how we should act so as not to aggravate the sadness of a friend, not to hurt with the wrong word and so that our excessive silence is not perceived as indifference... So, here are some tips on how to support a friend when he needs help.

1.Open your ears

One of best advice Of course, listen. It’s just great when a person, being in trouble, has the opportunity to speak out. Your friend may not be ready to admit that he's going through a difficult time just yet, but it's already obvious to you. Just let him know that you are ready to listen to him and talk to him as much as necessary.

2. Don't judge for mistakes

Even if you know that your friend himself is to blame for finding himself in a difficult situation, do not judge or blame him for this. Your fair moral censures will not help, it will only alienate your friend, he will begin to avoid you. As a result, friendship may crack. When a person is having a hard time, the last thing he wants is to be strict with him. Believe me, he is too strict with himself, he understands his guilt and regrets, but does not want to hear about it. Would you like to?

3.Unsolicited advice

We are all so smart when it comes to other people's lives and love to give advice. Sometimes we don’t even suspect how our consultations offend our friends, because it means that we think we are smarter than them and put them below us just because we are not in a difficult situation today. Just ask your friend if he wants to hear any ideas on how to solve his problems or suggest that he go somewhere where he can be advised on something right. But never tell him how he should act if you think it might cause offense. Sometimes The best way to support is not to give any advice.

4.Take him to a safe place

This can mean literally or metaphorically. If your friend is going through a breakup, you can offer him your spare apartment so he can get through the difficult time there. Well, at a minimum, provide your kitchen and your precious time for sleep at night, so that your friend can calmly talk it out, and then collapse on a cot and sleep until lunch the next day.

5.Don't indulge

This applies to many things. For example, if a friend comes to you for another portion of alcohol, perhaps this has already become his problem, which he is not yet aware of. Or maybe this is the third time in a month that he’s asking to borrow money? In this case, borrowing will not solve the friend’s problems, but rather, on the contrary, he will continue to act in this way, and the “cart” will remain there. In this case, it is better to talk honestly with your friend and help him develop a budget, find a job, and distribute debts so that he can pay them off. When you want to truly help a friend, you must understand that sometimes the best position is rigid principles.

6.Close your mouth

In general, it is better to keep your opinions to yourself if you want to support a friend. Sometimes we don’t like who our friends are friends with, what partners they choose, who they marry. But you must understand that people have the right to make their own choices, even if they seem wrong to you. What makes you think you know better? Are you the Lord God? Let your friend make his mistake and be responsible for his own life, don’t try to save him, you don’t know why. It is about such cases that he says: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

7.Be there

Another tip for being a good support for a friend in a difficult situation is to simply be there. Set aside time when you can be there to help cook a meal, go shopping together, walk the dog, or something else. Dedicate part of your day to a friend, it’s easier to talk it out in between, and the feeling that there is someone nearby who is in no hurry to run away, and may even stay and spend the night, discussing the vicissitudes until midnight family relations or whatever, is great support in itself.

8. Follow your friend's wishes

If you want to support a friend who is going through a lot of emotional stress, try to understand what he expects from you. There are situations when there is simply no solution to the problem, for example, due to bereavement. You simply have no choice in how you react and behave. Your friend's behavior will tell you what is required of you. Be sensitive and do what your friend wants.

We all want to provide effective and correct support to our friends, because being good friend– this is such a high, important and complex mission. Some people are naturally given the necessary sensitivity and delicacy in such matters. Others have to learn. What do you think is the best way to support a friend? We'd love to hear more tips on how to help in a difficult situation, tell us your way!