Fear of sexual intimacy: On the causes and methods of getting rid of it. How to overcome the fear of sex? List of the most important causes of fear and solutions to the problem How to overcome fear for the first time

Paralyzing fear, coming from somewhere inside and always manifesting itself at the wrong time, breaks the plans created. It would seem that you have found the one you were looking for, here she is standing right in front of you, but uncertainty in words and timidity in the body ruin any chance of achieving female attention.

Fear of meeting a girl is a common disease characteristic of any age categories and what is most dangerous if not identified main reason occurrence, then there is a very high probability that it will remain for life.

We will analyze the main reasons for the emergence and manifestation of “fear of approach” in order to save you from this illness and give you free communication in any situation!

What is “Fear of Approach?”

"Fear of Approach"– a complex and individual feature that causes fear of communication with the opposite sex. There is only one way to get rid of it once and for all, one, but guaranteed effective method.

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Any fear, not just the fear of girls, is the result of negative experiences in the past. The same experience that brought physical or mental discomfort.

When, showing initiative and courage in anything, you came across “sharp rocks”, an unpleasant imprint remained in your memory, which is then imposed on all subsequent attempts to change the situation.


The cause of its occurrence could be not so much you yourself, but environment, namely: An unpleasant interlocutor who greatly insulted or offended you, a pretty girl who told you rudely or a friend who laughed at your idea, which you have since been afraid to implement.

If we strain our memory, then each of us will find in the secluded corners of our consciousness those very “dark” days through the prism of which we perceive the present and even future life.

But how can this be, if everyone has such memories, but the fear of acquaintance, although many, but not everyone? This is an individual matter, depending on willpower, character traits and temperament. You can even strengthen this disease by saying that it is initially inherent in everyone, and overcoming it is your personal duty! But let's not make things worse dark paint, this is not true, but everything is exactly like that in relation to you!

How so? It's simple! A woman is mysterious and unclear, and the unknown always causes fear, that’s why there is a mystery, so that it can be solved!

Hearing the burning “No” once again means adding plus one memory to the piggy bank that you really want to get rid of. Vicious circle? Before trying to open it, you need to get rid of existing complexes and prevent the emergence of new ones. It's like trying to solve a math problem without going through the topic, and convincing yourself of your stupidity every time you get the wrong answer! It’s funny and naive, but this is exactly how it happens when communicating with girls.

Fear is not a physical phenomenon, but a defense mechanism of the body that makes itself felt every time you strive to conquer the unknown! In our case, the identification of universal mystery is a beautiful girl!


A guy who is ashamed of himself asks the question, how to meet a girl? - instead of asking - What do you need to get rid of the garbage in your head?

How to overcome the fear of dating?

The actual treatment process follows a very simple, but time-consuming formula: To get rid of bad experiences in the past, you need positive result, at least once, that will be more than enough!

But how can you achieve success in something where you have been plagued by failure for many years? The next time the opportunity presents itself, when the beautiful lady you already have your eye on appears again, you need to “turn off your brain”! It sounds crazy, but now you will understand everything!

When the same or similar situation is repeated, the event or several events that caused your panic complex and fear of opening your mouth, the brain automatically reproduces “unsuccessful takes” in the subconscious. It’s a self-preservation lever that you can’t get rid of, but you have to learn to control. You remember the past, which stops you in the present, again I will hear “No”, again they will not support me, like last time, they will laugh at me again, and so on.

“Turning off the brain” means not thinking about it, just forgetting and forgetting about what once was. Relax, this time everything is new. Another woman, another time and perhaps even a different you, just don’t think about the bad experiences. It sounds easy, of course, but in reality it is not enough.


Until you get it into your head that new girl- a blank slate, nothing will help. On this sheet you have the opportunity to draw and portray yourself in any way you want, to do and say whatever you want, of course, this is a metaphor, but the essence is clear.

If you don’t stress yourself out too much, don’t think about your own, most often imaginary, complexes, then everything will go exactly as you imagine. For healing, one successful time is enough, and a long list of failures will fade into the background in comparison with the long-awaited success.

A woman can smell complexes, phobias, timidity of words, as well as bodies, from a kilometer away, remember this! To hear “Yes” from the desired lady, you will have to practice on your appearance, manner of speaking and behavior in society.

Fear of girls not only limits your communication, but also reinforces the false idea of ​​personal inferiority. I don’t think it’s worth telling what consequences this might have. No need, they are afraid. You are not going to tame a wild animal that can tear you to shreds. And this is much more dangerous.

As soon as yours spiritual world will find the right and expedient direction, the body will cease to show signs of fear and uncertainty, since the fear of women simply will not be in you.

It all starts with the head, and while there is chaos and confusion in it, there is no point in playing sports in the hope of attracting attention with the body. Even an athletic physique and good looks will not give you confidence, because The reason for the “fear of approach” does not lie in a physical disability, they say, you are too ugly for her, but deep in the subconscious.

  • Think over your line, which you will say after the words of introduction. A well-thought-out beginning of a dialogue gives confidence and a state of peace.
  • Give a mental countdown from 3 seconds. And then just take it and come over. The brain switches itself off after such a sharp shock and no longer burdens you with unnecessary doubts.
  • Have a fight with a friend that you can meet a girl. You will either achieve your goal or lose respect for yourself, which is very unpleasant. You can also make a monetary bet for motivation, so that the desire to retreat from the goal will finally disappear, and victory will also bring money!

Additional techniques: how to tune yourself to the desired wavelength, from a professional pickup artist:

Psychology of communication with girls

To make a conversation with a lady as easy and pleasant as possible, you need to know and understand the peculiarities of their psychology. Learning interesting communication is not difficult, only if you have a goal and desire.

You need to be able to take the right position in any dialogue, namely to be not only a silent listener, but also to complement the girl, clarify and ask appropriate questions. This is similar to communicating with a friend, the principle is similar, but has its differences. At a minimum the fact that Unlike a friend who can understand your isolation or silence, a girl is not capable of this. Here you yourself will have to set the tone and vector of development of the dialogue, make it interesting and fun.


Here are some tips that you not only can, but must follow if you want to learn how to attract female attention in communication:

  1. Don't complain. Never dump your problems and difficulties on her; no one cares about them except you. Everyone has personal concerns, and that’s why they are personal, since they require independent solutions, and not public discussion.
  2. Develop your horizons. Be well-read and erudite than more information you own, the easier it is to win over those around you. First of all, you need to do this for yourself. As soon as your personal growth begins to differ from what it was yesterday, life will sparkle with new colors. Information owns the world, it is the most valuable resource, being a source of knowledge is always useful and profitable.
  3. The conversation must be active. You should sound confident, clear and, most importantly, lively! Nobody wants to listen to mumble, while a good speaker can interest even a boring topic. Having mastered this skill even a little, the attitude and respect towards you will only go uphill!
  4. Know how to not only tell an interesting story, but also listen convincingly. The girl should see your interest in her words, understand that she is interesting.
  5. always pleasant to everyone. Don’t be shy to talk about the beauty of her figure or hairstyle, a well-chosen accessory and the smell of perfume. This way you will also emphasize your attentiveness.
  6. A man must remain a man under any circumstances. It is necessary, if possible, to strengthen your authority with courageous and good deeds, to arouse some admiration for your person.
  7. Learn to surprise. This good way show your non-standard and originality. Nice gifts and interesting tricks are what you need!
  8. Don't run after a woman, show your independence. Why does she need another errand boy? Be as imperturbable as you are, someone who needs to be conquered. Let her know that you are interested in her, but not by courting her, but by not joining her Fan Club!

General topics for conversation with a girl

In fact, you can talk about anything, as much as you want, anywhere! The question is how to achieve this result? In addition to good and close relationships, you need mutual trust and understanding of each other. You can overcome the barrier of permitted topics only by gradually getting closer to your interlocutor, and then the boundaries will be erased.


If during the meeting you couldn’t even put two words together, then, ultimately, you can spend hours discussing absolutely everything that surrounds you. However, you can start your first live dialogue with the topics given below. They will help you open up emotionally, express your thoughts and establish regular communication.

Examples:

  • Cloth. Find out what famous brands she likes what clothes she prefers and, of course, compliment her taste.
  • Almost everyone has pets. Short story about your pet, be it a cat or a fish and why exactly them?
  • If your relationship is close enough, you can bring up the topic of sex. Discuss familiar couples, are they really suitable for each other?
  • Religion. One of the topics that you can talk about forever and still not move. You will learn well about the views, philosophy and method of life of the interlocutor, in addition, it is very easy to switch to ghosts, spirits and other supernatural phenomena.
  • Movie. Talking about films is perhaps one of my favorite topics when dating. We ask what genres she likes, express our opinion and say what we like, explain why, and then invite her to go to the movies. The topic is very broad, you can touch on the actors and argue in the same way which of them are the most significant.

In addition, when talking about your favorite movie, your words will automatically be supported by feelings and emotions, you will enthusiastically tell what you think about this or that. An interesting and ideal topic, especially recommended by me personally!

  • Favorite books. Unlike films, if you express yourself harshly and carelessly, you can offend a girl. Because negative feedback about the book, is taken personally, as if speaking of bad taste. Of course, these are small things and the topic is certainly excellent. What can characterize a person better than unread books?
  • Hobbies. Simple and obvious. Conversation about who does what, likes and why. We ask about plans for the future and get even more interesting things.
  • Food. The most delicious, exotic dishes you've ever eaten. What is included in your daily diet? You can also invite you to a cafe or restaurant to try something delicious!
  • Favorite holidays and preferred gifts. Surely you will find out her birthday, ask what she wanted, what would be given to her. Favorite time year, month and why exactly it!

Fear of girls is, first of all, a complex that needs to be gotten rid of immediately! detailed instructions in the video:

A relationship expert teaches you how to conquer your fears. A must watch!!!

: Reading time:

This article will be useful to anyone who has encountered fears in intimate relationships and wants to overcome them.

Fears in the sexual sphere can lead to anorgasmia, premature ejaculation, inability to enter into relationships, loneliness, depression and even suicide attempts.

The most common fears are:

  • fear of not conforming to cultural or social norms
  • fear of rejection
  • fear of violence
  • fear of the unknown
  • fear of having sex and not meeting the other's expectations

Fear of cultural inadequacy

A client who professed Islam approached me. She complained of depressed mood and anxiety. The client studied at the university, was successful, worked, supported a good relationship with parents.

I worked with her feelings and beliefs using cognitive behavioral and art therapy approaches, which can quickly bring about improvement in situations like this. There was no result.

I was already thinking about recommending medication help when the client admitted that she had fallen in love with young man of a different religion, experiences strong sexual attraction, but suppresses it within himself, is ashamed and afraid. She felt confused because she did not want to give up her faith and was sure that the young man would not accept her religion. She didn't know what to do.

We carefully analyzed the internal conflict, talked for a long time about her personality, values, and ideas about happiness. This helped her make a decision.

Fear of sex - fear of not conforming to social stereotypes

The Internet and popular culture offer countless stereotypes that have nothing to do with reality:

  • “sex should last thirty minutes - no more and no less”
  • “my body should be 90-60-90 to be attractive”
  • “many sexual partners are the key to one’s own attractiveness”

In the recent film “I'm Losing Weight,” a young man breaks off a relationship because of a girl's appearance, finds the “ideal of sexuality,” but ultimately loses love. And the heroine, through working on her body, comes to her real self, to the feelings that were hidden in the depths. She meets her fears and ultimately becomes herself, free from the opinions of others.

Fear of Rejection

Fear of pain. I will open up, but the other one will not. I will love, and the other will devalue, take advantage of, not notice, offend, reject, insult, not feel, will not hear, deceive, manipulate.

How to overcome fear of sex? Love anyway, take the initiative, take risks - this is a strong position. The pain of rejection teaches you to value yourself.

Fear of violence

A client who had experienced sexual abuse many years ago was unable to open up and trust the partner she had fallen in love with. She couldn’t find the strength to talk about it, because there was pain and unshed tears inside. She was unconsciously afraid of repetition.

How to overcome your fear of sex? In such a situation, a soft, delicate conversation, psychotherapy, and work with psychological trauma and its consequences are useful. A person must form the position “you can’t do this with me”, “I can protect myself” - allow yourself to get angry, express emotions, recognize your own value, realize your own psychological resources.

Fear of trying new things

In couples with experience, sex becomes less frequent and sensations become dull. Take a closer look - do you know everything about your partner? It is important to experiment, imagine and implement. Couples who live together new experience(travel, meet new people, engage in creativity), and are more satisfied with their life together.

Fear of not living up to another's expectations (expectation of sexual failure syndrome)

A young woman came to the reception married couple. They complained about misunderstandings, conflicts, and dissatisfaction with sex.

It turned out that each of the partners is focused on perfect image another who lives in his head. He more often mentally communicates with a virtual copy of his partner than with him himself, and answers questions for him as he imagines. The woman wanted more stimulation of the clitoris and did not like the taste of sperm during oral sex, but she was afraid to say so, so as not to offend the man. The man sought to ensure “dynamics”, not really feeling what he wanted.

Don’t be afraid to be “uncomfortable” for others, that’s the only way you will become yourself.

How to get rid of fear of sex

  1. Discuss fears openly with your partner.
  2. If you're hesitant to discuss it with your partner, talk to a close friend or counselor first.
  3. Love and accept your body. Masturbation is normal!
  4. Study your body. How can my partner guess what I like in sex if I don’t know it myself?
  5. Find out the other person's feelings about sex and share yours. Your partner won’t be able to get into your head, and you won’t be able to get into his.
  6. Share your sexual fantasies with each other.
  7. Adjust your beliefs, be flexible. Sex is normal, necessary, beautiful and healthy.
  8. Accept your aggression, the desire to possess others.
  9. Be yourself. Explore yourself, trust yourself. Respect the rules and norms of society and choose what makes you happy.
  1. Naomi Wolf "Vagina" New story female sexuality."
  2. Morgenthaler A. “Men and sex. Unexpected truth."

before the first kiss - today we’ll talk about how to overcome it. The dream has come true! The girl you are interested in has agreed to a date! On the eve of a meeting, many guys and young men are overwhelmed by thoughts: what to talk about, joke alone with a girl or show seriousness? Should I kiss when meeting, how to dispel the fear of the first?

Reasons for insecurity and 3 tips for guys on how to overcome their fear of the first kiss

The basis of any discomfort is a lack of knowledge of how to behave with the opposite sex. Admit to yourself your own inexperience, but this can be corrected. Remember: a girl is also worried if she likes a young man.

When more romantic dates with unfamiliar girls happen in a guy’s life, the fear of getting closer will recede. Some men have no problem at all with how to overcome their fear of the first kiss; some use self-hypnosis techniques or turn to a psychotherapist to get rid of this complex.

Four tips will help young people cope with the situation:

Visualization of experience

The first date requires psychological preparedness. On the eve of the upcoming meeting, imagine how it will happen. The more scenarios you can come up with in your imagination, the better. Are you actually afraid of kissing a girl? Watch her reactions and you will understand how justified the doubts are.

How to understand that a girl also wants to kiss you? She is worried, but her gestures and postures speak of openness, she does not take her eyes off, she enjoys your touch. When a woman comes to a meeting, looks at her watch and spends more time on her phone? Hold off on kissing, take a closer look at your partner again: it means she is not interested in you.

Another psychological trick

Imagine conquering your own fears. For example, recall a memory of when you outdid yourself as a child and did something scary, such as fighting an overpowered opponent while defending a friend or younger brother. You defeated him, after which he began to fear you. Remember the moment before the attack: horror throbbed inside, but you overcame it.

Overcome indecisiveness! With a kiss in physical terms it is simpler: an unsuccessful attempt to kiss will end in a tactful refusal.

The third option suits everyone

In your imagination, try on the mask of your favorite character from a movie or book before getting closer. When you feel like a different person, it is:

  • gives confidence;
  • increases self-esteem;
  • makes possible failures less painful; they are perceived detachedly, from an outside observer’s position.

Try the suggested methods of dealing with your doubts and fears. Live the kiss itself in your imagination:

  1. Imagine what a kiss with this woman tastes like, what emotions it evokes.
  2. Get used to the image of who you imagine yourself to be at this moment: a charming hero, a shy romantic, maybe someone else...
  3. Vividly, in your imagination, live the date itself, from beginning to end, evoking vivid feelings, so that the date itself will be easier in reality.

Important point

The date ended, but there was still no kiss? Accept this fact as an experience, not a defeat. Analyze the situation, and on your next date, don’t make the same mistakes you made at the meeting. It also happens that there is simply no chemistry between people, and this is normal.

Cruel experience

Nothing worked to touch those desired lips? Accept this event. To minimize disappointment, imagine failure on a date in advance, and the worst that could happen:

  1. Your partner didn’t like you when communicating, and she rudely pushed you away, slapping you in the face.
  2. She pulled away from you, saying that she didn't like you.
  3. Someone, seeing your attempt to kiss, laughed loudly and began to attract everyone's attention to you. “Look, he wants to kiss her!”

This can happen to any young person. Replace your resentment with acceptance of the situation: there is no “chemistry” between you, mentally thank the invited girl for the life lesson. If you experience these emotions long before the appointment, the collapse will not seem so dire. If it happens at all, you will already be ready for anything and confident in yourself. The girl will feel it.

When you notice a woman's sympathy for you (looks into your eyes, accepts touch), you may have a desire to get closer. Do you want the date to end with a kiss? The path to rapprochement is simple:

  • Start the meeting with touch. As if by chance, touching the girl with his shoulder or hand.
  • If she tells you something, ask her clarifying questions.
  • Adjust your breathing to it. A person usually begins to speak while inhaling and finishes speaking while exhaling. Take a breath as soon as the girl says something. And exhale as the speech ends. After some time, a special connection will be established between you. Rapport. and you will feel unity and harmony with each other. The girl will also feel something familiar in you.
  • Maintain eye contact carefully. Scientists have proven that looking into the eyes of an unfamiliar person for more than 30 seconds is perceived as a manifestation of aggression.
  • Before the kiss, inhale her scent by leaning towards her face. If the woman does not interrupt the moment of intimacy, touch her lips.
  • For those who are afraid to immediately kiss a girl on the lips, you can try this: touch the cheek, kiss the corners of the mouth, then the lips themselves.
  • The first kiss may happen on the second date, and that's okay. If more than three have passed, then most likely the kiss will never happen.

9 unobvious reasons for refusing to kiss:

If a girl likes you but refuses to kiss you, gently find out why. There may be reasons for this.

Many people have this psychological problem, like fear of something or lack of self-confidence. Sometimes they do not want to share this problem with any of their loved ones. Then the problem begins to eat them from the inside, preventing them from living, eating and sleeping normally. Is it possible to overcome your fear by getting rid of stupid thoughts once and for all?

Certainly! But having overcome one fear, perhaps you will begin to live normally. However, life moves on, and it is not a fact that during your life you will not develop some more phobias. Therefore, the question must be formulated correctly: “How to overcome fear and self-doubt?” This is what we will sort out with you.

What are phobias?

It’s sad, but according to statistics, out of the entire large population of the Earth only 3-4% consider themselves absolutely happy. This is the part of the population that has learned to cope with their fears. The ability to destroy every new fear is real victory for a person. For example, if you conquered the fear of talking about feelings, get true love for life, overcome the fear of speaking in front of a huge public - achieve unattainable heights of career growth...

It is worth saying that different kinds fears and are destroyed in completely different ways. Sometimes, to solve a problem, it is enough to find the origins - the root cause. Unfortunately, this happens very rarely. Basically, to overcome fear, a person needs to use a whole system - technology.

Consider a certain fear - fear of skydiving. The hardest thing is to make the decision to jump for the very first time. The next jumps will be much easier, however, in any case, a certain presence of fear will take place. Having jumped 10, or even 15 times like this, fear will be completely imperceptible. Moreover, there will be pleasure and satisfaction from jumping. It is joy, that precious feeling that a person receives as a gift after overcoming fear.

Of course, each person has his own individual characteristics, mine individual character. This means that the approach to each person must be individual. Only a specialized psychologist can select a specific technique. We will consider a general scheme for overcoming fears. We hope you find it useful.

Why are we afraid?

There are a number of reasons why we begin to fear this or that thing:

Let's consider the behavior algorithm.

Before the situation

You need to set yourself up correctly and positively. You can even stand in front of the mirror and cheer yourself up: “I am the most beautiful and smartest!”, “I will certainly succeed!”

During the situation

It is necessary to develop clear, quiet, measured speech.

Important look your interlocutor in the eyes.

Maintain your posture and be confident in your every action.

You should not be afraid to designate your ego - “I”. In this way, you will show your importance and make demands that are most significant to you.

You cannot ask for forgiveness from a person if it is not your fault at all. When you ask for something or make demands, it is enough to simply thank the interlocutor at the end.

You must always control yourself. Don't lose your temper, don't become aggressive. Show calm and confidence. An aggressor is a person who is always insecure. This is not your way. Be worthy of it and always respect the other person's opinion.

After the situation:

It is important to appreciate even small victories. This is where great success begins. Praise yourself for any achievements and never stop working on yourself. If there is no success, don’t beat yourself up! Thank yourself for trying to overcome it! Next time you will definitely succeed!

Only a month will pass, and you will notice that working on yourself has benefited you! Fears of something and self-doubt will begin to fade, and later they will completely die. You yourself will begin to notice that in the current situation you can fight back, without thinking about how you look and speak. Here's some list of minor situations, in which you can easily win:

  • Defend your own interests in a dispute with the seller
  • Eradicate self-doubt when speaking in front of a huge audience (there was no preparation). You were given the floor unexpectedly
  • Do not react to sidelong glances and discussion of you from anyone. Moreover, you will even learn to smile
  • Convince your interlocutor that you are right
  • Learn to not pay attention to outside opinions, although they were important to you before

    This is just a list of possible victories. By following our recommendations, you will not only be able to win small victories, you will truly become happy man who know how to overcome their fears and control themselves, even in the most difficult situations!

Fighting methods

Let's learn to fight not with the fears themselves, but with their root causes, which we outlined above.

Fear of the new (unknown).

If a person does not have his own experience, he should rely on the experience of another person. You can ask how it was for him the first time, what emotions he experienced, what he felt, etc. It will also be useful to read positive reviews or study books and newspapers. In other words, get acquainted with any useful material. This technique will help eliminate fear by 80-90%.

If a person is afraid not of the situation, but of its consequences (for example, of disgracing himself in front of a crowd of people), then he should configure himself in such a way that the situation suggests a different outcome of the event. That is, it is not at all necessary to be in a positive mood. You just need to imagine how to behave in a given situation (even with a negative outcome).

Fear of repeating bad experiences (both your own and others’).

It is necessary to learn to understand the course of events and analyze the situation. That is, in case of any failure, do not give up, but take a deep breath and try to analyze: why did it happen this way and not otherwise?

The analysis should be carried out like this:

Find the reason for the failure. This is one of the most important points. Afterwards it is necessary to draw appropriate conclusions. And only then eliminate the mistakes and promise yourself not to repeat them again. If everything is done correctly, the bulk of fears will go away by itself.

Fear of death.

There is only one way to fight here - to believe that you have not only a body, but also a soul that continues to live after death. But, if a person is superstitious and wants to believe that his ancestor is a monkey, alas, it will be very difficult to help him.

Fear of injustice .

It is possible to overcome it with the help of knowledge of the Laws of the Universe. It is important to understand that injustice may triumph once or twice, but not all the time. Everything comes back to us like a boomerang, and life itself, over time, puts everything in its place. You can watch the movie The Secret - it will give you cheerfulness and self-confidence!

Summarizing all of the above, I would like to emphasize that in order to overcome fear and self-doubt, it is enough to simply start living honestly, not deceive other people, and not take sin on your soul. Be honest with people and, first of all, with yourself! Then you will have nothing and no one to fear! Happiness to you and your loved ones!

Erotophobia manifests itself in different ways - from an obsessive fear of intimacy to aversion to it and the inability to perform sexual intercourse. In women, this disease occurs in the form of vaginismus, and the most common male diagnosis in this case is psychogenic impotence.

Oddly enough, erotophobia is more common among the stronger sex, which is associated with established stereotypes of sexual behavior. A woman can be successful with men by remaining passive in bed, but a man must always be on top, having an excellent erection and the ability to brilliantly complete sexual intercourse.

For such diseases, psychotherapeutic treatment is indicated, but in some cases, a sexologist may advise buy Cialis, which not only relieves fear of sex, but also guarantees persistent sexual activity for one and a half days. Such drugs are effective if the cause of erotophobia is weak erection and fear of not satisfying the partner. Usually after some time the patient does not require drug support for normal course intimate life, because the most important thing is overcome - self-doubt

Men tend to be nervous before intimacy with a woman, and sex seems to them like a test of irresistibility. A casual remark made by a partner about sexual incompetence can forever deprive a man of self-confidence, and fear of failure is known to reduce potency. A vicious circle arises, from which it is very difficult to get out, and sometimes partners resign themselves to the inevitable, refusing intimacy, which, as a rule, leads to a break in the relationship.

Female vaginismus manifests itself in contractions of the muscles of the vagina and uterus, which do not “let” the penis into the “holy of holies.” As a rule, such phenomena occur in girls with an unsuccessful experience of defloration, causing panic horror before sexual intercourse. In this case, male patience, love, tenderness and affection come to the rescue, although in extreme cases, if vaginismus is a consequence of rape, the help of a psychotherapist is required.

In order not to turn sex into an exam, you don’t need to take it too seriously - this is the opinion of practicing sexologists who have managed to help many couples relax in bed and thereby maintain relationships. Help to overcome erotophobia trusting relationship and openness between partners, when they are not afraid to tell each other about problems and together look for a way out of difficult situations.

Focusing on pleasure without thinking about the result is another way to overcome fear of sexual intimacy. You need to enjoy kisses, touches and hugs, trying to prolong each moment and not rush to the end. This is the method that helped famous artist Bill Marigold, a virtuoso of erotic films, will star in 500 sex scenes, demonstrating constant “combat readiness” to moviegoers. The actor's secret was that he loved to kiss and did it with pleasure, and the result did not take long to arrive.