If a 5 year old boy doesn't listen. Why does the child not listen and what to do about it? Social, emotional development

My daughter is 5 years old, she behaves simply impossible with early age. He doesn’t perceive me at all, doesn’t listen, talks over me. As for cleaning up toys, it’s just a scandal. I have to scold her, shout, even take the belt, and that doesn’t help. The reaction occurs when I collect them and say that I will throw them in the trash - then we get hysterical. If I give in to her and give her the bag so that she can collect the toys herself, she simply forgets about them - she has achieved her goal and that’s it. I don’t know what to do with her, I no longer have the strength to fight her - both in a good way and in a bad way, well, in no way. I come to the kindergarten to pick her up - while none of the children are there, she dresses normally. As soon as someone comes out to get dressed, we start running and jumping, I just forgot that she is going home, she ignores my comments “stop and get dressed”, shows everyone how she doesn’t listen. Please help me, what should I do with her, how should I behave. (Luba)

Answer:

Hello, Lyuba! Thanks for the question. It’s wonderful that you, as a mother, are worried about your family, about relationships, and ask questions! It's nice!

But the first thing I want to say is that a child’s behavior is a reflection of what he sees around him, and most of all he “takes” from his immediate environment. Think about it, watch yourself. I recommend that the question “what should I do with her”, “how to deal with her” be reconsidered, put it differently - what should you do with yourself and your behavior so that it affects your relationship with her.

Second, contact professional psychologist so that he can help you understand where and what exactly needs to be changed in your relationship with your daughter. I recommend reading the book (Doctor of Psychological Sciences) Yu.B. Gippenreiter "Communicate with a child. How?" , where important things about our relationships are written simply and clearly.

Thirdly, “she dresses normally,” “she collected it herself,” and she did it immediately upon the first remark.

It seems that the game is “entertainment” on which the child wastes time and which prevents you from raising the child and teaching him discipline. Play is the leading type of activity in a child’s development at this age. The child “lives” in this game, playing out everything he sees in relationships and the world around him. Ask yourself: what will happen if you give your daughter the opportunity to play for a certain time while she gets dressed for home? What happens if the child does not collect the toys right away? Where is the child's play area? Does he have space? If there is, then, for example, you can agree that toys will be in this space in any form, the main thing is that this does not extend to other space (other rooms). On the one hand, you maintain order in the house, which is important for you, on the other hand, you allow the child to solve his problems and needs, without which, by the way, his mental and personal development is difficult.

Allow your child to be himself (“wrong”, “active”, “dirty”...)
If the child can, but does not do it himself, do it with him, but always in a friendly tone (for example, the game “Who will collect the fastest”, “Who will take the bears to visit faster..”, “Who will invite more guests to their tea" etc.)
Observe yourself for two to three days, try to count how many times you turned to the girl with emotionally positive statements (joyful greeting, approval, support) and how many times with negative ones (reproach, remark, criticism). And you may draw your own conclusions.
Pay attention to your letter: there is not a single positive statement about your daughter in it; But a child (person) cannot be bad everywhere; there are certainly things that she can do well. Be sure to praise her for these things. You see, when you are bad everywhere, it’s hard to try to be different. And at this age, self-esteem is formed. Self-awareness is still developing, the child cannot yet objectively evaluate himself or formulate a clear attitude towards himself, therefore his self-attitude consists of the assessments and opinions of those around him.

And finally, Lyuba, appears main question, at what point did your daughter start bothering you?..

Is your little one already 5 years old? On the one hand, he is no longer quite a baby, and on the other hand, he is not yet a schoolboy. The age of 5-6 years is called basic. 90% of all child’s personality traits are formed at this age. Already at 5 years old you can understand what a person will be like in the future.
A 5-year-old child experiences a great need to understand the world around him and expand his horizons. He, like a sponge, absorbs all cognitive information. It has been scientifically proven that at this age a child is able to remember as much material as he will never remember later in life. Children 5-6 years old are interested in everything related to the world around them. Therefore, reading to a child a children's encyclopedia, where any information about our world is described in accessible language, is The best way convey scientific information. The child will gain ideas about ancient world, about animals and plants, about space, about countries, about how humans work and much more.

Development of a 5 year old child

At the age of 5 years, the child begins to understand himself as an individual. He identifies himself with those around him. It becomes important for him what gender he is, what he looks like, what he says.
Children 5 years old do not think about tomorrow; what is important to them is what is happening here and now. They have their own opinion on everything and often challenge it. It seems to adults that children at this age are very stubborn and not accommodating, but in fact they are waiting for our reaction and want to please their parents.
Many 5 year olds still sleep during the day. At the age of 5, a child already brushes their teeth independently, only sometimes adults need to remind them to do this. At this age, the child can bathe independently, but parents should check on them periodically.
A five-year-old child begins to learn to work in a team. In kindergarten or on the playground, children can engage in common activities. At 5 years old, a child remembers poems, songs, and short stories well. At this age it is good to learn letters and numbers. Some children can already read syllables by the age of 5.
At 5 years old, a child should know the seasons, days of the week, parts of the body, be able to identify unnecessary objects, sort objects, and know some facts about the flora and fauna.
Children of this age already have a very well developed imagination. They very often compose something without any malicious intent. Adults may feel that the child is deceiving them. Don't focus on this. Instead of telling your child that he is lying, it is better to say that he is fantasizing. However, if you notice that your little one is lying to avoid punishment, explain that it is better to tell the truth, otherwise lying can lead to bad consequences.
At the age of 5, you need to help your child make friends, cultivate tolerance towards other children, and control manifestations of aggression. A child should not be afraid or embarrassed to approach a group of children, start a conversation with them or start a game. Already at this age, parents should instill in their child the ability to maintain a conversation, ask and thank for something.

At the age of five, a child prefers dishes familiar from birth. Culinary innovations are often viewed negatively. Children at this age already feel (as it seems to them) on an equal footing with adults, so they love family dinners, when the whole family gathers at one table and talks. The child takes part in the conversation with pleasure, and, as a rule, is the last to leave the table.

Games and toys for children 5 years old

The main space surrounding children aged 5 is the home and kindergarten. In games, children often reproduce scenes from home life. Great importance Role-playing games are available for children's development. They allow you to try on adult roles. By using role playing games children are trying to understand difficult life situations happening in the world of their parents and prepare for their future life. Children imitate adults in their games. Therefore, by the way a child plays, what roles he tries on, one can easily determine the relationships in his family, the attitude of mom and dad towards other people, and values in the family.
Children at this age do not have to buy expensive toys; they are still quite happy with their old favorite cars, dolls, houses and garages.
They like to draw, sculpt, paint, cut out something, and design. Children 5 years old enjoy playing Board games, such as dominoes. They love having fairy tales read to them.

Punishments and rewards

As mentioned above, a five-year-old child has a very well developed imagination. The child often expresses wishful thinking. This is a normal stage in development. There is no point in scolding your child for this, just explain to him that it is better to tell the truth.
If a child has committed a bad act, he must be punished immediately, not postponed until later, otherwise later he will not understand why he is being punished. Don't expect your child to improve after the first punishment. Children at the age of 5 have poor self-control and may forget that they were once punished for a similar act.
If your child regularly upsets you with his behavior, check whether he sleeps enough, eats enough, and is not overloaded with activities.
Don't forget to praise your child for good deeds and behavior.

What should a 5 year old child know and be able to do?

Your baby is already 5 years old. This means that there is a good opportunity to help the child develop his intelligence in a timely manner. Unfortunately, some parents underestimate the capabilities of this particular age and do not see the child’s need for new information, expanding his horizons, believing that there is still enough time ahead, and it is too early to engage with the baby. They begin to actively engage with the child only a year before school, and as a result, time is lost. Classes that take place at a fast pace, when a child needs to master a large amount of new information in a short period, do not lead to anything good. The child quickly becomes overtired, which subsequently causes a negative attitude towards learning.
Using the tests below, you can determine the level of development of your child, identify in which areas of knowledge he succeeds, and which need additional attention. And most importantly, you will be able to check the results of the work done on the development of the baby and prepare him for the next stage of acquiring new knowledge.

Tests for the development of a 5 year old child

The world

Determine what time of year it is, time of day (morning, afternoon, evening)?
State your first and last name. Know your parents' first and last names. Know the name of your city, street, house number. Know the name of the capital of your country. Know the name of our planet.
Know the names of people's main professions and explain what people in certain professions do.
Name the seasons and days of the week in the correct sequence.
Distinguish domestic animals from wild ones, garden plants from the field.
Distinguish between primary colors (What color is the ball? Show red, blue, yellow, green).

Attention

Using knowledge of abstract geometric shapes (ask your child to name the round and square objects around him).
Find 5-6 differences between objects and between two drawings.
Keep 8-10 objects in your field of vision.
Repeat a pattern or movement.

Mathematics

Ask them to count several objects that are more than ten (count how many cubes there are).
Ask to divide the circle or square into two and four equal parts.

Thinking

Understanding the simplest cause-and-effect relationships (Why does mom wash clothes? Why does mom cook dinner?).
Name the purpose of household items (why do you need a spoon, cup, table, chair, pen?). Immediately show three objects or pictures with their images).
Find the odd one out among the proposed items and explain your choice.
Put together puzzles without adult help.
Construct any figure from the construction set based on the model.
Find and explain the differences between objects and phenomena (how summer differs from autumn, a trolleybus from a bus, etc.)

Memory

Remember 7-8 pictures.
Memorize children's rhymes (for example: “One, two, three, four, five, We are going to play. A magpie flew to us and told you to drive”) and tongue twisters (for example: “White sheep beat the drums”).
Memorize short sentences (for example: “Katya and Kolya are drawing with crayons”; “Grisha played in the sandbox with a bucket and spatula”).
Tell short stories, fairy tales, poems, and pictures from memory.

Fine motor skills

Color the drawings without going beyond their outlines.
Be able to hold a pencil, brush in your hands and change the direction of hand movement depending on the shape of the depicted object.
Sculpt small figures from plasticine.
Tie knots on a rope.

Speech development

Compose complex sentences of different types.
Explain the meaning of some proverbs (For example: “You can’t pull a fish out of a pond without difficulty”).
Make up stories based on pictures.
Speak poetry expressively.
Distinguish between vowels and consonants.

If a child easily answers your questions and copes with tasks, his level of development is normal. If you see that your child is struggling with some tasks, these areas of knowledge require additional attention.

Comments

Add a comment

Victoria 5 months ago

The child owes nothing to anyone! Each child is individual and develops in his own way. And these points are only instructions for parents on how to properly guide their child.

Nadezhda 10 months ago

My grandson is left-handed and it seems to me that when he writes, he doesn’t see where to lead the kmrandash

Roman 10 months ago

Look at Professor Savelyev. On YouTube. There are details about left-handed people

Olga 1 year ago

What to do if your child is left-handed? How to teach him to write?

Julia 2 years ago

Natalya Alexandrovna Lepustina 3 years ago

Good afternoon How to deal with a 5 year old child.

Larisa 4 years ago

An interesting article, I agree with the author, and I can add that at this age a child models his relationships with the outside world on toys. And by watching children play, you can see the tendencies that are forming in your child and correct them in the game.

There are many reasons for children's disobedience, and at each age they are different - that is, at 2 years old, 5, 7, 8 or 9 years old, a child behaves badly due to some certain factors. Although, of course, there are also general negative prerequisites, for example, permissiveness.

The question of what to do when a child does not listen at all is not uncommon. And you can’t leave the situation to chance, because often bad behavior takes extreme forms, when the baby practically gets out of hand. Let's figure it out.

The list of situations when a child behaves inappropriately is very long.

Below are 5 typical examples of child disobedience, each of which has its own prerequisites and age limits:

. It often happens that after repeated warnings, a two-year-old baby breaks out of his mother’s arms during a walk, grabs sharp objects, etc. Naturally, such actions are exhausting.
. The child responds to any mother’s demand or request with resistance, protest, etc. He doesn’t want to get dressed, sit down at the table, or return from a walk. This behavior often occurs in children as young as 3 years old and even as young as 4 years old.
The child disturbs others. Even at 5 years old, children can behave simply unbearably: screaming and running in public places, pushing and kicking. As a result, the mother is very ashamed of the dissatisfied looks and comments of people around her. Most often, by the age of 7, this problem completely disappears.
. When asked by adults to get dressed and clean their room, children respond with silence and ignoring words addressed to them. This behavior is especially typical at 10 years of age and older, when it begins teenage rebellion.
. Such actions are more typical for the younger preschool age. At 4 years old, children can loudly demand and insist on purchasing an expensive toy or some kind of sweet.

To solve such problems, there are educational techniques that are designed to make the child more obedient. But before describing them, you need to figure out why children do not obey.

Reasons for disobedience

The sources of “wrong” behavior are sometimes very easy to establish simply by analyzing the baby’s actions and your reaction to them. In other situations, the provoking factors are hidden, so the analysis should be more in-depth.

Below are the most common reasons for disobedience in children of different ages:

Crisis period. Psychology identifies several main crisis stages: 1 year, 3 years, 5, 7 years, 10 - 12 years (beginning adolescence). Naturally, the boundaries are quite conditional; something else is more important - during these periods there are significant changes in the child’s personality and abilities. Both the psyche and behavior change.
Excessive number of prohibitions. Rebellion is a natural reaction of children of any age to restrictions. When the word “impossible” is constantly heard, a child sometimes deliberately breaks prohibitions in order to prove his independence and “annoy” his parents.
Inconsistency of parents. For various reasons, parents impose sanctions against the child for something that yesterday, if not encouraged, was not condemned. Naturally, he is confused and disoriented, which is expressed in disobedience.
Permissiveness. In such a situation, on the contrary, there are practically no restrictions. The child is allowed literally everything, since parents confuse the concepts of “happy childhood” and “carefree childhood.” The result of indulging any whims is spoilage;
Disagreements in matters of education. Different requirements for a child are not uncommon. For example, fathers usually demand more from their children, while mothers show sympathy and pity. Or a conflict may arise between parents and the older generation. In any case, disobedience is a consequence of the child’s disorientation.
Disrespect for children's personality. Often adults are convinced that a child of 8 or 9 years old is just as “disenfranchised” as a one-year-old. They do not want to listen to his opinion, so it is not surprising that protest behavior eventually arises.
Conflicts in the family. Adults figuring out own relationships, forget about the child. And he tries to attract attention through pranks or even serious offenses. Subsequently, this turns into a habit.

There are often cases when a child’s behavior worsens after a change in family composition: divorce or the birth of a brother/sister. The main motive for disobedience in such situations is the desire to attract attention.

How to respond to disobedience?

Typical problems and reasons for children's insubordination have already been discussed. Now you need to understand what parents should do if the child does not obey.

It is worth noting that we will talk about actions that still remain within the normal range. That is, we will consider disobedience, and not deviant behavior.

A useful and relevant article in which the psychologist talks about how parental screams affect his future life.

Another important article that is dedicated to the topic physical punishment. The psychologist will explain clearly.

What to do with a child if he behaves so thoughtlessly that it threatens his health or even life? It is necessary to introduce a system of rigid boundaries that are prohibited from crossing.

A 3-year-old child, actively exploring the world, simply has no idea how dangerous it is. However, due to age characteristics, he does not understand lengthy explanations, so the system of restrictions is based on conditioned reflexive behavior.

A child, having heard a certain word, is obliged to stop purely reflexively. This is important because there is not always time to explain the current situation and the likely consequences.

For this whole structure to work, need to:

pick up a signal word, which would mean a categorical ban. It is best not to use the word “impossible” for this purpose, since the child hears it all the time. The signals “stop”, “danger”, “prohibit” are suitable;
demonstrate the relationship between the signal word and negative consequence . Of course, the situation should not pose a serious danger to the child. For example, if a child pulls his finger towards a needle, you can allow him to feel the pain from the sharp one. In truly dangerous situations, you need to repeatedly pronounce the signal expression: “It is dangerous to take a knife.”, “It is dangerous to touch the stove.”;
remove emotions. Sometimes a child of 5 years of age deliberately provokes danger so that his mother is afraid for him, and he is saturated with her emotions. That's why you shouldn't show your strong feelings when your baby behaves like this.

The introduction of categorical prohibitions should also be accompanied by a reduction in other restrictions, since otherwise there is a risk that the child will simply become confused about what can and cannot be done.

As already noted, children go through several crises, which are characterized by protest sentiments. A growing person strives for autonomy, but rarely is a parent ready to provide it at 5, 8 or 9 years old.

What should parents do in this case? Allow the child to be more independent and make decisions. Agree, you can give him the opportunity to decide what he will have for breakfast or what he will wear to school.

Such things may seem trivial to parents, but for a growing child it is a kind of pass into the adult world. He also feels that he can benefit his loved ones.

If the child insists on completing a task that is obviously “losing”, allow him to do it (unless, of course, this will harm the child himself). However, after an unsatisfactory result, there is no need to say, they say, I warned you, etc.

If the protest turns into hysteria, the adult should remain calm, otherwise the emotional outburst will only intensify. You need to save the child from the audience, hold him close to you or, on the contrary, move away a little, without letting him out of sight. It all depends on the circumstances.

The child disturbs others

In this case, it is necessary to make it clear that there are general behavioral principles that must be observed. Naturally, if a child does not obey at the age of 4, then he may simply not understand the importance of fulfilling these requirements.

And yet it is necessary to make comments, explain and, ultimately, raise children. Therefore, the mother must repeat seemingly obvious things for the second and eighth time: “Don’t kick the chair, because the man in front is uncomfortable sitting.”

If it doesn’t work out now, then by the age of 8 the child will have learned the rules of behavior that mom or dad so often repeat. And the more accessible it is to explain, the sooner this moment will come.

Children do not want to listen to a parent who lectures them, for two reasons:

the child is busy, lost in his thoughts, so he doesn’t even hear what the parent is saying;
This is another version of protest behavior.

In the first case, children who exhibit autistic traits behave this way. However, similar behavior can also manifest itself in gifted children, since they constantly scroll through many different ideas in their heads.

It is necessary to figure out exactly why the child cannot or does not want to listen in order to correct the situation in time or try to improve relationships. A qualified psychologist will tell you what to do in this case.

Protest behavior is typical for children over 9 years of age and especially for teenagers. They want more independence, so they get angry with their parents and refuse to listen to them, thus resisting their demands.

It doesn’t matter whether a rebellious teenager or a three-year-old child doesn’t listen to his parents, the methods for solving the problem will be similar. Children need to be given more independence, if this does not harm their safety, and more love and support.

The child demands to buy him something

There is no need to wait for demands and capriciousness to develop into a hysterical attack. It is best to immediately leave the store and, under a plausible pretext, pick up the child. For example, explain that you forgot the money.

The failed “buyer” must be distracted by another action. Pay attention to the cat running by, count the birds on the branch, repeat the poem you learned. Usually kids quickly forget about an unfinished purchase.

If the child is older than 6 - 7 years old, then you should already negotiate with him. Let him argue why he needs this particular thing. Find out if he might be willing to spend his pocket money (if any) on a toy or phone.

Then you should promise to add the missing amount for your birthday or New Year and buy the item you like. Naturally, the promise must be kept.

We looked at what needs to be done if a child does not listen in typical situations. However, there are general recommendations which will be useful to all parents. And it doesn’t matter how old the child is - 3, 5, 8 or 9 years old.

Reduce the number of prohibitions, leaving them for really serious situations. In this case, the number of punishments will immediately decrease.
If an 8-year-old child does not listen, and you are used to solving problems by shouting, try to calm down and make comments in a calm tone.
If your child does not listen because he is engrossed, try to attract his attention not by shouting, but, on the contrary, by whispering, facial expressions or gestures. The interlocutor will have to listen, willy-nilly.
Don't voice your demands over and over again. First, simply warn the child to stop playing around, then a disciplinary measure follows. And after the punishment, the reason for such strict measures is explained.
Try not to use the particle “NOT” in your speech. This advice is based on the idea that children do not perceive a negative particle, literally taking the request as a guide to action.
If children are hysterical, there is no need to appeal to their reason at this moment. Calm down yourself, confirm your demand again without raising your voice. This happens more at 8 or 9 years old, but with young children a distraction maneuver will work.
Be consistent in your actions, demands and promises. Also enlist the support of your spouse and grandparents. Consistency will not allow you to disorient the child, who will have no reason to behave provocatively.
Try to spend more time communicating with your children. Moreover, it is not the number of minutes that is important, but the quality of interaction.
Prepare yourself mentally for the inevitable growing up. The child grows, he needs more independence to realize his desires and plans. Ensure this independence whenever possible.
Show genuine interest. Find out what your grown-up child is doing. Perhaps his favorite films are not so superficial, and the music is quite melodic.

If a child at 10 years old or 2 years old does not listen after many months of effort on your part, it is better to consult a psychologist.

In order for a child to obey or at least adequately respond to the demands of adults, it is necessary to restore the most trusting child-parent relationship and establish an emotional connection.

Ways to establish trust:

It is important for a child to understand that he can tell his parents about a situation that is disturbing him. Also, the little man needs to know that he can ask adults questions without fear that they will get angry. At the same time, parents should feel free to ask and clarify, talking about several ways to solve the problem.
If you need to convey some important news or ask for something urgent, it is better not to shout, but to come up and hug – that is, create physical contact. Such an action will show your high interest in this situation, and the child will have less reason to refuse you.
When communicating, you need to maintain eye contact, but your gaze should be soft. If the parent looks angry, then the child subconsciously feels a threat, a desire to put pressure on him, so he perceives every request as an order.
Education implies not only demands, but also gratitude. Praise and words of approval are the best incentive for children, because they hear them from their parents. By the way, material encouragement is not as valuable for a child as mother’s or father’s sincere gratitude.
You should not forget that you are a parent, that is, older and more experienced than your child. Excessively friendly relationships often lead to the fact that the child ceases to perceive you as a protector, the main person in the family. That is, you need to be more flexible.

It is important to learn how to react correctly to any problem, to consider it from all sides, including from the child’s perspective. In this case, trust will definitely return, and, therefore, children will no longer need to confront their parents.

The power of personal example

Children do not always respond well to a simple explanation of why they should behave one way or another. It is better to educate by personal example, because this method is much more effective than numerous words and wishes.

If a child at 6 years old does not obey, perhaps you should listen to his reasons and explanation of the action. It is especially important to demonstrate fairness in adolescence, so find the strength to reconsider your decision if it was wrong and ask for forgiveness for the mistake.

At one not so wonderful moment, almost every parent may face the problem of disobedience. However, you should not despair and resolve the issue by force; it is better to build a relationship with your child so that conflicts do not reach the point of no return.

In addition, think about whether an obedient child is such a good thing. After all, some manifestations of insubordination are associated with the normal passage of age-related crises, and if children never object, perhaps they lack independence and the desire for self-development.

And finally, adults themselves should serve as models of constructive behavior. Agree that it is stupid to demand that a child listen and hear if parents do not always keep promises, change demands without proper basis and do not want to give in on small things.

Often, a child at the age of five indulges in whims and hysterics that are unreasonable in the opinion of his parents, creates scandals out of nowhere, makes scandals and attracts attention to himself in every possible way. Such behavior is a reason to reconsider your attitude towards the child and his upbringing.

Often, a child who is quite calm in his usual environment can radically change his behavior when new people appear in the house. This is one way to attract attention. If a 5-year-old child often freaks out and is capricious in the presence of relatives, friends or guests, this may indicate that he lacks your attention. Thus, he tries to pull it towards himself. Childish jealousy can also manifest itself in a similar way if attention is focused on adults and not on him. In these cases, conversations and explanations help that sometimes there are situations when not only the baby can be the center of attention and it is worth waiting a little, then attention will be switched to him.
Sometimes the reason why a 5-year-old child is capricious lies in different approaches to education between parents, if one behaves gently and allows everything, while the other strictly prohibits everything. In this case, whims and hysterics are a way of manipulating parents, a way of influencing the situation. In this case, parents need to agree on a common approach in matters of education. Sometimes a problem arises with the older generation if parents raise the child strictly, and grandmothers spoil them. Then the child understands that with the help of whims you can bend your topic.

Child 5 years old, constant tantrums: what to do

At 5 years old, children already understand much more than we adults give them credit for. Perhaps some of the subtleties of adult life seem a mystery to them, but they feel when they are lying and are quite good at composing themselves. A five-year-old child literally absorbs everything that happens around him like a sponge: family habits, the behavior of friends. This is the age of exploration of boundaries, when he becomes aware of himself and tries to find his place to start. The natural desire to defend one’s opinion leads to behavior problems, and parents sometimes do not know what to do when a child does not obey at the age of 5 - the advice of a psychologist here will certainly play the role of help.

A simple “no” is no longer enough for them; they want to know why it can’t be done right now or specifically for him? When will it be possible? What happens if he breaks? There are so many “Why?” that require intelligible answers with subsequent explanations. Then, talking with your son or daughter as equals, you give him the feeling that you are taking him into account, he is already conscious, and he, in turn, will begin to respect a reasonable “no.”

It is best to identify the problem and build solutions.

Tip #1.

When you threaten your child with something, especially when you promise to do something, do it. Kids remember everything that concerns them, and if for some reason they were unable to fulfill their promise (to buy a car or take them to the zoo on Tuesday, and the punishment was to be deprived of a birthday cake for a major offense), come up and honestly explain why this happened , and what is the reason that the obligations were not fulfilled. Otherwise, you risk losing your authority in the future. After all, everyone wants to have obliging and attentive people around them whom they can rely on. A 5 year old child is no exception.

Tip #2.

It is important to find out in the family the origins of the problem. Why he cannot respect the simplest prohibitions, why he sometimes does things out of spite, why he takes everything said with hostility, and what to do if a child does not obey at the age of 5 - the advice of a psychologist is, of course, incredibly useful. By eliminating the roots, you can completely solve the problem.

Tip #3.

If he does not feel happy, adults do not seem to him like friends with whom he can come to an agreement and open up to them.

Tip #4.

You want him to go to bed and not get out of bed until the morning - instead of the phrase: “I’ll meet you on your feet again, I’ll take action, don’t force me,” resort to: “I hope he went to rest and sleep, and walk around.” You’re not going home.” So he understands the expectations.

Do you want a clean plate after dinner so he can eat what he has prepared? “You won’t get up from the table until you’ve eaten everything” is a bad option. Alternative: “Know this: there will be no snacking after dinner.” This will be a reminder that the kitchen will already be “closed” for him and the choice is his – to eat or not.

Instead of the standard: “Until you brush your teeth, you won’t leave the bathroom,” change it to: “Well, it’s time to sleep. What do we always do before going to bed? - this will give a sign that it is time for general evening procedures.

You tell him to behave calmly in the store - “Stop running around and whining, otherwise I won’t take you with me.” Should: “Remind me what we wanted to take here? Where is your favorite loaf, help mom find it” - this way he will receive guidance and be distracted.

Ask not to cry, not to demand - “You’ll be in the corner all day if you don’t stop.” “I would listen to you, but I can only hear you when you speak in a normal voice” - this way he will know that he will be understood in principle, but only when his voice allows it.

Having read these tips, now you know what to do when a child does not listen at the age of 5 - the psychologist’s advice is unanimous: watch your manner of conversation. When he asks for something, speak to him in your usual voice, do not raise it - those close to you should listen to his requests. This will teach mutual respect, he will learn that his point of view is also valuable.

Is everything that bad?

In fact, signs of disobedience are a good sign in the eyes of psychologists. In their opinion, such a child develops healthy and active, he participates in the life of the family and learns to stand on his own. He is not backed into the “can’t/can’t” corner.

Remember! A Person who has his own character and preferences is growing with you. He wants to be heard by you, and when this does not happen (his loved ones are busy, cannot pay attention to him, forget about his wishes, stuff him with food he doesn’t like, force him to do something against his will), he turns to screaming and hysterics.

What to do if a child does not obey at the age of 5? The psychologist's advice converges on one thing - to follow their task as mentors. Support him, consider him as a person. Yes, still small and in many ways unintelligent, but different. He argues and asserts himself, is mistaken about something, and sometimes gets wildly irritated. Don’t be afraid to scold and punish, but say every time that he received the punishment only for his offense, and not for himself as a whole. That he is loved and cared for. Then he will unconsciously take care of your nerves and your trust.