Inferiority complex: what to do with the weaknesses of the stronger sex? The problem of love and marriage - an infantile husband Love and jealousy

Taking the right position in life, we will not have superiority - we are natural. A man who has not lost his naturalness is not afraid and does not avoid a woman. He will not despise her, he will not develop hatred for her, because he is not obsessed with her...
A MAN WHO INSISTS HIS

If a man constantly insists on his own in a relationship with a woman, he insists on his own superiority. This is his conditioning, and he is in a struggle with a woman.

When a man is obsessed with a woman, she is a sharp reflection in his life for him, and he is in constant struggle with her. The highest form of such struggle is the achievement of intellectual superiority. This indicates that the man in his mind is obsessed with the woman and fights with her through the mind. Showing his superiority, he demands from the woman that she take the position in their relationship that he indicates to her. That is, she must sit on a leash, on a leash, and do everything the way he wants. Then she will be determined, predictable, he will not be afraid of her, and on such conditions he agrees to live with her.

The man does not even understand how this happens. In his struggle, he tries to defeat a woman precisely because he is obsessed with her, possessed by his nature, but he does not understand this. He does not recognize his own nature, does not allow it to manifest in the conscious part of the mind, so that, by being aware, he can be freed from dependence, which is possession. He needs to bring awareness to his obsession, and not fight it by suppressing it in the subconscious. This obsession gives rise to the limitations of men, the constant demand for superiority over women, chauvinism, misogeny.

It is useless to struggle with one's own nature, but being in conditioning, in the limitation of a mechanical mind, a man does not understand this. And he always feels slighted, because he is dependent on a woman, but, insisting on his own, fighting in an intellectual way, he proves to her that he is higher, that he is stronger, that he is freer. But in fact, everything is far from it. Once you see his superiority, you can already understand that he is deeply dependent. If it were otherwise, he would not have to constantly insist on his own.

OPPOSITION

Where there is violence, where there is cunning, where there is deceit, ignorance, substitution - there is always a struggle. A woman will evade, maneuver, cunning, deceitfully entangle a man and lead her. The man will fight back. He can sleep, run around prostitutes, take revenge on a woman in all ways, but he will not do anything with her.

A man has a fear of a woman, natural, root, because a woman gave birth to him. A woman is incomprehensible to a man, he has a fear of this incomprehensibility of the feminine, the unknown. And he creates the intellect. A man works very hard on it, making a big breakthrough, compared to a woman who does not work on the intellect. If logic is easy for her, if her mind combines well, she is honed in the intellect, if not, she is not concerned about it.

And a man is concerned because he needs the perfection of logic, he needs the perfection of logical sequence so that he can operate with it, proving his superiority. A woman is rooted in life, rooted in everyday life, and is more often satisfied with what she has. Her desire is final and irrevocable - to have her pocket man.

A man does not want to be pocket. He wants to move according to his interest, because he needs a woman occasionally, he does not need her 24 hours a day. He needs her when he needs sex, he needs care so that he can come home, close the door, calm down, relax, and that the woman is there, warm and affectionate. But he absolutely does not need it all 24 hours - he has his own interests. In logic, in intellect, he has his own interests, there are male companies where he finds consonance, where they speak the same language.

How a woman chirps, how a woman babbles, how she sticks, how she beats, how she emotionally! A man can't stand such a storm. Although, it all depends on the woman. The woman is gorgeous, she's smart, she's amazing. If she understands a man, she creates such magnificence that the man simply bows before her, because without her he is nobody. And great women stood behind great men. The whole world knows this. If ever a man became great, for the most part, looking in his environment, one could see great woman. She helped, supported, did everything in her power, becoming the basis for his greatness.
But even next to best woman a man needs a pause when he can be without it. Without the most beautiful, the most beloved, the most desirable, it is so good for him to do what he wants. But, when he has done all his work, he hears in himself that he needs to return to the woman. And this is a balance, because neither a man can be without a woman, nor a woman can be without a man, performing the dance of Nature itself.

And only awareness unites the experience of all men and women in a person. It leaves man undisturbed in his unity. And he celebrates life whether he is alone or next to another.

Hello. We are the same age - 29 years. No kids. The wedding is in two months. We live together for 3 years. My future husband not a bad person: kind, sympathetic, but very unbalanced. Absolutely not able to contain his emotions. If he is annoyed, worried about something, or some kind of emergency has occurred, then he starts screaming, swearing and throwing insulting words at me or at his mother. But she cools down very quickly and behaves as if nothing had happened and says not to be offended. Over the years, such behavior has accumulated a huge resentment and everyday life began to crush the relationship. Once there was such a case: I bought caps for claws for a cat. They needed to be glued on. The glue included in the kit is very caustic, in the likeness of super glue. I cut off the tip of the tube to open it to make a hole, and at that moment my cat jumps on his knees and pokes his nose into this tube and the tip of the cap falls into his mouth. The caustic glue makes him foam at the mouth. I was very frightened and ran into the bath to wash his cavity. At this time, my husband runs and shouts obscenities at me that I have no mind, that he knew that it would turn out like this and that how can I be trusted with a child if I treat the cat so irresponsibly. And I'm shaking even more. No, to support me, so he finishes me even more. Half an hour passed, I was all teary-eyed, and he says not to be offended, I'm not out of malice. At that moment, I felt completely crushed both mentally and as a woman. A similar incident happened when I silicone mold hot dough poured into the hot oven. I was also confused and started pulling it out of the oven and this dough flowed over my hands, getting burned, and he shouted after me that I had no head, that I was not capable of anything at all and his favorite phrase: “I I knew it." Well, everything was over and he calmed down and again cheerful and cheerful. And in my soul I have a huge, fat spit and a feeling that I don’t have a reliable male shoulder. He also likes to poke his nose into me, for example, into a mug left by the computer, not during washed floors, washed or ironed linen. To all my requests for help, he first freaks out, we quarrel, and then he does. Well, or safely forget and have to do it yourself. Or he will wash the floors, and then beats himself in the chest, saying, look, I washed the floors, and you are not doing anything. I stopped asking him for something so as not to hear his psychos, if I can do something myself. That's what I do, but it turns out that almost everything is within my power. He has not been working since October - at the session, defending his diploma. We live on my salary. He promised to find a part-time job, but it turned out to be not so easy, official employment is needed everywhere. I went to a couple of places - they refused, so I spent the whole session at home. I began to be driven that another man would have found and that many are hacking and doing something, somehow getting out, but it turns out he can’t do anything. To all my suggestions about hack work, he refused, saying that I don’t want this, and I don’t want that either, I need to sit and prepare for a diploma like this. According to him, he said that I would even go as a loader. But as it turned out later, he felt sorry for himself, his back and health were not something to work as a loader. I work 5 days a week, work at a computer, sometimes I sit for 18 hours, I come home like a zombie, I start cooking. There is not enough time for cleaning. Not every weekend can be cleaned up, but he expects everything from me, that I will do everything according to his schedule. And if, God forbid, I didn’t wash the floors on the weekend and postponed it to the middle of the week, then he will wash them himself with a psycho and start spreading rot on me again that I’m not doing anything. I, in turn, begin to defend myself, we swear. She told him several times that he should leave, because he had no strength to live like this. And he will cool down by five and everything is fine with him. Only I no longer have feelings for him, only fatigue. He wants me to devote all weekends to him alone or cooking, cleaning. I was engaged in dancing, I had to quit because he began to reproach me that I did not help him do his diploma. I periodically want to quit my job to sit and clean the house to please him. But on the other hand, I understand that he will not appreciate this, and I will not be able to sit at home without work. It seems to be attentive and caring, but now it gets hung up on household trifles, which I would not pay attention to at all. And then he blames me for everything. I forgot to turn off the light in the bathroom, so he won’t keep silent, but he will definitely poke me: “Why didn’t you turn off the light in the bathroom?”, I won’t say anything, and he repeats again. I’m already just telling him to get behind, because I don’t have the strength to justify myself and turn my tail. Nothing criminal happened. And for him it's a tragedy. He has the same attitude towards his mother. When he comes to her, he finds fault that it is not so worth it and it is not so lying. She is silent. She told me that she cries sometimes because it hurts. And I can’t keep silent and we swear again. If I start to be silent, then he starts trampling more and more, until you shout at him. I no longer feel like a woman next to him. I talked to him about this you, but to no avail. He begins: “But you ... but look at yourself ....” Constantly dissatisfied with everyone, condemns everyone. It feels like he's a total bad guy. I am always depressed too, and he tells me later that I am unhappy all the time. And I can no longer be satisfied, because when you come home every now and then you expect from him some remark on the subject of the economy. I am a clean person, but he is always small and small and small. I don't know what he really wants from me. According to him, to clean every weekend, wash and cook, and then be free. And after all this, I don't need anything anymore. And I’m only 29, I want to do my two days off and do my own thing, read in the end, go to my friend. I begin to think that he is a tyrant and am I doing the right thing by marrying him. I don't even know how to build a relationship with him. I have a feeling that I am doing something wrong or did something, and this is the attitude towards me or he is waiting for something for me, but I don’t know what. The feeling that he needs not a wife, but a housekeeper and a maid, and also a part-time lover, for which there is not enough strength. I can't do something when I'm told to live up to someone's expectations. And he always waits, when I stumble, to crush me again. What am I doing wrong and what should I do about it. I turned to other psychologists, they told me, why do you need such a husband? And why do you have to understand someone, but I think that this is wrong, that everything can be solved and that in our case it is still possible to change something

Beauty and HealthLove and Relationships

How many articles are devoted to real representatives of the stronger sex, but besides them, there are those who, although they belong to the male sex, do not behave like men. They allow themselves to be rude, insult and offend women. There is no excuse for this, since they are stronger, but you can only fight this phenomenon by understanding what is the reason that makes them behave so low. So why do men humiliate women? Now let's figure it out.

Why do men insult women

The reasons for any actions and deeds are always hidden in the depths of a person’s subconscious, and often he is not aware of them until a moment comes that forces him to think why life is not the way he would like, and people around react negatively to him. At this moment, there is a chance to change for the better. Unfortunately, to recognize the very fact that a person is doing something wrong is a great success. Subconscious processes are well hidden from people, and the eternal rush, which does not allow you to stop for a minute to think about whether you are on the right path, generally deprives you of any chance to learn something very important about yourself.

Understanding and realizing the hidden motives of behavior and actions can be done with the help of introspection, psychologists or other people who are able to say from the outside in a calm manner that a person behaves selfishly and hurts others. The only problem is that such people, especially males, do not want to hear what they are told, and even more so go to a psychologist (they are not sick) or engage in introspection (wasting time on incomprehensible nonsense), they are deeply convinced that they are doing everything right, and it is those whom they offend, react incorrectly, or are themselves to blame.

To change the situation, forcing them to think at least for a minute about their behavior, is possible only in peaceful ways. In moments of calm, just voice that you, as his beloved woman, are hurt by his words and actions. It is important to say all this calmly, choosing words that accurately reflect your feelings and hint to him. possible cause his behavior, so that he understands what is worth paying attention to in order to make sure that you are right or his own. Here, as they say, how it will turn out.

Attempts to convey your disappointment to him with the help of screams, in a state of rage, when you want to tear and throw out of resentment and pain, will be in vain. When people are shouted at, whether justifiably or not, they turn on a defense mechanism, or they stop perceiving what they are told at all, as they subconsciously understand that negative things will be poured on them, which will cause harm, or they will enter into a skirmish to silence the other and intimidate, because they become scared at this moment themselves.

All these processes are subconscious, therefore they are not realized by people, they occur instantly, but knowing about them in advance, there is a chance to avoid new quarrels, because they will definitely not be able to solve the problem. But in order to tell everything in a calm atmosphere, when the right moment comes, hinting at what is happening to the person himself, because it’s not easy for him to behave this way, you need to know what reasons most often make men humiliate women, what provoked them and how you can deal with them. deal.

Psychologists agree that only weak men, unsure of themselves, unloved in childhood, accustomed to such a model of behavior, this is how their father behaved or the men who replaced him in childhood if the boy grew up alone. People who love themselves know how to feel someone else's pain, even if they strong men accustomed not to express their emotions and pity too often. They have no need to raise their own self-esteem at the expense of others. If suddenly they have slightly decreased, but there is love for themselves, they will find another way to increase it, without offending anyone, especially women. Insulting and humiliating another person, you, first of all, lower yourself. Worthy, self-respecting people will never allow themselves such behavior.

To offend and humiliate... A similar way of solving internal problems is chosen by weak representatives of the stronger sex, who are even too lazy to think about the problems that await them if they continue to behave like tyrants further. For some reason, living in a society where such an attitude towards the obviously weak is not encouraged, but, on the contrary, is condemned, sometimes quietly, but condemnation is always present, such men do not bother to think about why they allow themselves such behavior and really whether they are sure that this will continue forever and does not threaten them with anything.

They may believe that they are not doing anything wrong, only because they are afraid to admit that they are still bad people, they are too lazy to take care of themselves, because this is also a kind of recognition of their shortcomings. This behavior is cultivated for a reason, it is based on the fact that women who are humiliated by such men are used to behaving like victims. They do not accept their behavior so as not to worry about him, and do not give them a rebuff, either verbal or forceful, at least in the form of parting with them and deleting them from their lives.

The unwillingness to voice justified claims and grievances that arose because of his behavior in a calm environment is due to the fact that then he will have to make a decision: stay and not pay more attention, since she loves him so much, or leave. And it’s scary to do this, because the status of the victim gives her a lot of advantages, especially since her mother also behaved, and such a model of behavior is absolutely familiar. Who wants to admit that she is also to blame for the fact that she is constantly offended, and she continues to endure it, without even trying to think, maybe something is wrong with her too.

This behavior of women allows men to humiliate them further, as they feel their impunity.

Why do men humiliate women

But only women are not always to blame, after all, they don’t specifically provoke such behavior towards themselves, and only then they react as best they can, leave or suffer from too much patience and fear of losing even such a bad, but still a man . Unfortunately, our society still continues to evaluate the value of a woman by the presence of a man next to her or his absence. It is worth mentioning that a normal man will never humiliate a woman, no matter how she behaves and no matter how tolerant and kind to others. Those who behave rudely are those who themselves inside feel their own inferiority, which they are trying to get rid of by humiliating those who are obviously weaker than them. Without meeting a rebuff, they generally cease to see the boundaries and continue to violate them more and more subtly. Men allow themselves to behave this way because their status is not as high as they would like. And they are trying to rise in order to feel on top at least against someone else's background. And since it is much easier for them to show strength and rudeness towards someone who depends on them, especially since it is easier than trying to achieve the status they need, they are trying their best. They are afraid to fight difficulties, compete and compete with other representatives of the stronger sex, because they are not sure of themselves and their success, but since ambitions are generally huge against this background, they need to throw out the accumulated dissatisfaction with themselves and others. And a woman looking at him with loving eyes and expressing complete submission ... What could be better for his anger?! No one will rebuff him, will not object, will not say that it is time for you, dear, to take care of your own self-esteem, so as not to remain lonely, as any women will run away from you, tired of enduring humiliation. So they humiliate women when their subconscious discontent begins to corrode the soul, and this happens often, the disease is - low self-esteem- remains untreated. Because of her, some feel the fear of losing their beloved, and so that this does not happen, instead of getting rid of fear, which is done again by increasing their own self-esteem and self-love, they begin to humiliate, offend and criticize the woman. In other words, destroy her self-esteem to such an extent that she herself believes that no one else will need such a wrong one. It just happens all the time, because his fear does not disappear anywhere, and he continues to try with all his might, turning a woman into a downtrodden and insecure creature, completely dependent on him.

Photo: why men humiliate and insult women

Those who respect themselves and do not want to tolerate such an attitude should remember that there is no excuse for men to allow themselves to humiliate and insult women. They do this because of their promiscuity and unwillingness to respect others, no matter how much they are asked not to do this, and no matter how society tries to raise worthy men.

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Return to the beginning of the section Beauty and Health

Man and woman. Their relationship is extremely complex and full of dramatic moments. Love and hate seem to exist side by side. No one knows at what point love and prudence recede, and a flurry of anger and hatred rushes in their place. It is difficult to imagine a family, even in our age, where such incidents would not occur. And most often, representatives of the weaker sex become victims of rude attitude. What happens to the representatives of the stronger sex, why is a man able to humiliate and offend his beloved woman? How to protect yourself and what to do to stop it?

Married life is not complete without misunderstandings, disputes, quarrels and serious conflicts. And that's okay. The bad thing is that people do not know how to solve their problems. Very often, feeling his physical superiority, a man insults his woman, thereby humiliating her.

The psychology of men and women is different. Representatives of the beautiful half of humanity have a bad idea psychological features men: they are different and much more difficult than women. And they do not justify their name at all - the stronger sex. It is only outwardly that they are strong, resolute, tough and courageous. But they are also extremely vulnerable, sometimes sentimental and vulnerable, they do not adapt well to changes in the world around them. Men do not cry: they have been prescribed to restrain their emotions since childhood. Many of their features play a cruel joke with them. Not surprisingly, they often break and break.

Self-assertion at any cost

An important psychological trait of men is their desire for self-affirmation. From early childhood to old age, in any activity, he tries to assert himself. This trait begins to manifest itself in the family he created. The struggle for leadership can unfold already in the early stages family relations and escalate in moments of fading feelings. Dominance in the solution of any issue, ignoring the opinion of the spouse, neglect of her point of view gives rise to resentment in the soul and resistance. Disagreement on some issues can cause irritation in a man and a desire to humiliate and insult her. So the family turns into an arena of struggle for leadership with all the ensuing consequences.

Rivalry

Modern representatives of the weaker sex often have a higher level of education, earn the same as their husbands, and sometimes achieve more in life. They, women, are more enduring in nature. Their confidence and ability to easily and successfully adapt to changing conditions hits a man’s self-esteem: next to such a lady, he subconsciously feels like a worthless person. This gives rise to irritation, which in conflicts results in unreasonable insults to women.

Men with low self-esteem cannot establish themselves at work or among friends. So they are trying to increase their self-esteem at the expense of their wives, humiliating and offending them.

Manifestation of aggressiveness

Aggression as a personality trait is inherent in both men and women. Naturally, people have different levels. It can also manifest itself in certain situations, as a reaction to some unpleasant life events. A man with a high level of natural aggressiveness is unrestrained and conflicted. He is distinguished by impulsiveness, unpredictability of his actions and his behavior. He suffers from a lack of self-control. But he splashes out the accumulated tension not at work, but on his loved ones at home and, above all, on the one he loves. Sometimes he himself does not understand and cannot explain what caused such a storm of anger and a stream of insults against his wife.

Situational aggressiveness arises as a reaction to internal conflicts generated by various unpleasant circumstances (problems at work, depressed mood, poor health, friction with superiors, material difficulties, failures, mistakes, mistakes, and so on). Aggressiveness requires a way out and spills out in the form of humiliation and insult to the loved one. It is clear that carrying negative emotions in oneself is very unhealthy: there is a whole list of serious diseases caused by restrained emotions. But detente on others is not a way out.

Sufficiently high aggressiveness is distinguished by men of certain types of character (rigid, uncontrollable, demonstrative) and temperament (choleric). People with one of these types of character are ambitious, they have high self-esteem, they do not want and do not know how to reckon with the opinions of other people. Only their point of view is correct, and it never changes. Their rude and aggressive behavior has a devastating effect on marital relations. For a woman to have such a partner in life is a real punishment, not everyone is able to adapt to him.

More deeply this topic is disclosed in the article: Temperaments and conflicts in the family.

Gaps in education

We all come from childhood, we all go through the school of family relations at that tender age, when we still do not know how to distinguish what is good and what should not be learned and done. The behavior pattern of the father, who constantly insults and humiliates the mother, is assimilated by the children. The boy, having become an adult, then also treats his wife. The patience and humility of the mother and the rudeness of the father become the norm for the girl. Subconsciously, the young man chooses the one that will endure humiliation. And the young wife will never have a question why a man calls names and humiliates a woman. Many psychologists say that children repeat the fate of their parents and even some of the events of their lives. Don't believe? Take a closer look at the acquaintances around you, analyze their fates.

Love and jealousy

He loves, but periodically insults and humiliates the woman he loves, why? Yes, the great passion of one of the spouses is not always good for the psychological climate in the family. The balance of emotional relationships is disturbed. Where there is love, there is the fear of losing a loved one, and there jealousy arises. Any word or remark of a wife can be misinterpreted by a jealous husband. Repressed feelings sooner or later will result in the form of unfounded accusations and insults that humiliate the spouse.

The character and behavior of the wife

Not only men with their difficulties are guilty of quarrels in the family. Beautiful ladies are sometimes masterfully capable of causing aggression of their husband with their behavior. Constant discontent, grumbling and whining, demonstrating a bad mood and silence (they say, guess for yourself what is wrong with me or with us), ignorance or unwillingness to reckon with the characteristics of your half can cause swearing and insults from the husband. His answer is adequate to the behavior of his wife. And what about the stubbornness demonstrated by a woman in insisting on her opinion and the causeless tantrums they throw. He simply does not have enough arguments or the ability to insist on his own. Well, what is not a reason for a verbal fight?

There are many more reasons why men humiliate and insult women. But what to do in these situations? What advice can be given?

Lovely girls! Seriously approach the choice of a life partner. If during the period of courtship there are insults or hints of humiliation even in a playful form, then everything will get worse: do not cherish the dream that you will be able to re-educate your loved one. Once demonstrated to you, rudeness, as a rule, is repeated and becomes permanent. Therefore, it is impossible to endure and be silent, it is necessary to react: discuss and find with your partner the reason for rude behavior, but only in a calm situation. Never respond to abuse with abuse. Dear ladies! If you are being treated rudely by your life partners, do not be afraid to look in yourself for the reasons. After all, we are not always angels. Work on relationships constantly. You can destroy everything easily and quickly, but creation requires strength and patience.

Very often, verbal aggression is accompanied by physical violence. There is a relationship between victim and persecutor. But that's a topic for another article.

Read the article: Husband-tyrant: a psychological portrait

QUESTION TO THE SYSTEM-VECTOR PSYCHOLOGIST. Why does a man insult a woman

Can psychology explain this? Tired of fighting alone. I am already over 40. The first marriage broke up. Divorce, betrayal of my husband, I experienced very hard. But finally the pain went away. I met a wonderful man, fell in love. We moved in. Everything was wonderful, he cared, looked after, was very gentle. But it didn't last long. After a short time, he began to allow himself insults addressed to me.

If a man offends

Living with an angry and controlling man - he constantly tells you what you should think and tries to make you doubt the value of your own feelings and values.

Some women may feel that reading this book brings up too many heavy emotions. Take a break, talk to friends, family, those who can support you. While I hope this book will clear things up for you, the process can be painful.

If a man insults a woman

Answer the offender, starting with the phrase: "This will be the same case ...". When your interlocutor points out his superiority to you, turn this superiority against him. For example, you were reproached for your immaturity and for the fact that you need to be taught everything. Answer such a statement as follows: "This will be the very case when the student initially knows much more than his teacher." Of course, it may take some time to think about the answer, but the faster you react to the attack, the more effective your objection will be.

Compare your opponent to a less flattering object than he compared you.

Women's magazine ONIM

The reasons for this behavior of men can be varied. In most cases, men who cannot boast of a particularly high status turn out to be “domestic tyrants”. After all, inside every male (be it a hammerhead fish, a cat or a man) has a desire to be the “leader of the pack”. Therefore, those who failed to realize their ambitions in the surrounding society prove their "strength and masculinity" in the family, demonstrating in every way "who is in charge in the family."

How to build relationships with your husband Part 2 Husband constantly insults and humiliates

This article is a continuation of the article “How to improve relations with my husband Part 2 Why does my husband not understand me? ” and now we will talk about situations where a husband constantly insults and humiliates his wife. Why does this happen in many families, what lies behind male rudeness, how to react to it and what can be done about it?

There can be several reasons why a husband constantly insults and humiliates his wife.

Is it okay to insult a woman

Is it okay to insult a woman? This question has an unequivocal negative answer. But, unfortunately, in many situations the situation is different. So, for example, in some families, over time, everything becomes not as ideal as it seemed before. Disclosure in progress living together characters causes some conflicts, scandals, and in especially acute cases, personal insults and fights. If at some point your husband lost his temper and insulted you, you need to try to forgive him and try to forget about this situation.

Insulting a woman by a man

Speaking of psychology. The couple with whom we went to the sea completely broke my brain this week. I did not know that there are such psychologically illiterate couples. In general, I rarely communicate with couples, sometimes with girlfriends alone, sometimes with the TIGER and his friends without wives, and then a week together. I know what I would like to do as a psychologist - to educate people on how to communicate with loved ones.

Why does a husband abuse his wife

Eh, male men, well, what happens to you after a few years of married life, why do you stop being so attentive and courteous, as in Honeymoon? Where does this unbridled anger and bilious insults come from? You say the reason is in us, the nymphs who love and cherish you? But what is the true essence of your aggression.

The candy-flower period in any relationship ends sooner or later.

Why a man insults a woman, human psychology

Behind the most important day of every woman - her wedding day. A significant dress weighs in the closet, the photographs are printed, and there is something to remember. This is where family life begins.

Pride is energy cultivated. She can't wait untilwill increase.

Pride is a stress that deprives a person of the ability to think and makes him act. Pride does not wait to be formed, it forms itself. Forms material values, feelings, people. Shapes himself and those around him. It doesn't care if it's necessary or not.

Pride has the energy of a stone.

The energy of the stone causes kidney stone disease and sclerosis of all tissues.

The pride of man is like a stone. His insensitivity is cold, harsh, heavy, hard, and therefore he is shunned. For the same reason desire to be better and not wanting to be who I am, perform together. Many people are happy to announce that they want to become better, but at the same time they are very angry at their own pride. Fear tells a person to want and not want the same things at the same time.

Since like attracts like, a person who wants to be better attracts someone who also wants to be better. As a result, two solid stones collide. Neither is going to give in to the other. Why? Imagine that these two solid stones are me and you. If I yield to you, you will feel that you are better. And I? I am worse. That is why I will not yield to you. Does anyone wish for a voluntary death?

For a man languishing in the captivity of his own pride, there is no middle ground. He believes that if he is not good, then he is bad. If it doesn't turn out better, then it turns out worse. If he is not the best, then he is the worst. Therefore, he does not give way to rivals. He must win at any cost. When he comes out victorious, he becomes kind and generous to himself and to others. By the way, generosity is one of the signs of pride.Pride dominates a person, like other stresses. Wanting to prove that I'm better, she automatically proves that the neighbor is worse. At the same time, a person can wish only good things for his neighbor, or he can do it and be deeply unhappy that his neighbor does not accept anything from him. Pride has no time to think, therefore a proud person does not understand that in this way his neighbor defends himself from shame out of pride.

Pride will not calm down until the person is victorious and the neighbor is defeated. However, life is arranged in such a way that the winner loses, the loser is the winner. In the end, both are defeated because neither one nor the other managed to stay man. Both wanted to become people of the best sort.

Pride does not calm down even if there is someone who does not want to become the best of everyone, because he knows that others are better, and therefore submits to his fate. Pride is able to crush the submissive, like a bug,because she wants to advertise the victory. A submissive person humiliates her, but she does not tolerate humiliation.Winning a duel without participation the enemy is dishonored by pride. For pride, there is only one landmark: higher and higher. Our pride does not allow us to understand that, while causing humiliation and hating it, she hates the fruits of her work, considering them unambiguously bad. So we begin to blame the results of our actions and deeds and be ashamed of them.

The higher the level of material development, that is, the smarter and more prosperous people are, the more likely it is that relationship of similar two tough nuts are within the family. The options are different.

1. Wife and husband proving their superiority.

2. Parents and children who prove their superiority.

3. Sisters and brothers proving their superiority.

The results depend on whether it is done openly or covertly. Open pride is considered a fault. Secret pride is considered a virtue.

1. A wife and husband whose pride seeks to prove its superiority (over the pride of the spouse), destroy the family spiritually, mentally, either physically or in aggregate. The slightest illness in the family already indicates the victory of someone's pride and someone's shame. The higher the pride, the more future generations will experience its consequences. The most far-reaching consequences are contemptuous pride, which keeps its mouth shut, because in this way one can show one's superiority, and no one can refute this opinion.

Husband and wife, who prove their superiority, do not stop this until the family is destroyed. But even in this case, they often do not calm down, but continue to turn each other's lives into hell. If they prove their superiority in material terms, in terms of prosperity, then the winner is a man, because he is the creator of the material world and he does it better. If the rivalry is about which of the two is better as a person, then the winner is a woman. She is a creator of the spiritual level, and she does it better. As a human being, a woman is always superior to a man.

It often happens that when a woman begins to give up her positions to her husband, she makes a knight's move - leaves him - and now she has already proved that she is a better person as a person. The husband was left with a nose. His knowledge, dexterity and ability to conduct business affairs are no longer needed by anyone: neither his wife, nor children, nor his mother-in-law with his father-in-law, nor mutual acquaintances. Women with jubilation take the side of their wife. And men say: you yourself are a fool if you did not manage to be a man. And only those who do not know how to be a man say so.

Being unable to overcome each other, parents take on the role of arbitrator of the children. In order to win over the judge to his side, each of the parents is taken to prove that he is better as a parent. The child is charged with the duty to express his assessment, and this is detrimental to the child. A child who protests against this falls ill. A child who makes a choice imposed on him loses the second parent, at least spiritually.

Proving the superiority of one's human qualities has a harmful effect on the head, especially on the brain.

The head is also damaged in those who prefer to submit to the pride of their neighbor. Why? Because he sacrifices his own mind to please the mind of his neighbor. He provokes his neighbor to ridicule his mental faculties.

People are proud of both good and bad, for whoever considers bad good is proud of bad. For example, self-sacrifice. If a person is just a person is he starts life from itself. If a person is a good person, he starts life with others. The better he wants to beall the more, he thinks only about others, worries about them and does everything for them, completely renouncing himself. So it turns out that especially good man sacrifices himself with especially great enthusiasm and dooms himself to the same suffering. Who consciously turns into a slave, wanting to prove his goodwill, loyalty, fidelity, love, etc. at any cost. etc.,he earns brain cancer.

Why? Because, having entered into marriage, a good person begins to notice the negative qualities of his spouse and begins to prove his positiveness to the whole world. He is ashamed to admit that he made the wrong choice. He does not realize that in his wife he sees his own hidden flaws. If a shame for him is worse than death, he seeks to develop positive qualities in himself so that the same qualities develop in his spouse and, perhaps, so that the reputation of the whole family increases. He comes up with more and more options, which exacerbates his unpretentiousness and self-denial, as he devotes himself to his family. He rejoices when the spouse responds to his good aspirations, but does not notice that joy over and over again acquires the properties of gloating. He overcomes the resistance of his spouse with his goodness and does not realize that he resisted because he did not need all this. If the spouse is afraid to upset him, then the spouse will continue to have to accept sacrifices from him.

A sacrificial person, if the family does not accept his excessive positivity, transfers the advertising of his unpretentiousness to a circle of friends or a work team in order to fulfill any desires of others.Most often it turns out to be burdensome, and he comes home to cry, but until the lesson of self-sacrifice is fully learned, he will continue to sacrifice himself. He strives for universal love and recognition of his positiveness, and this goal haunts him. Striving to prove yourself better side in the work collective often turns into a hidden revenge against their own family, which does not want good. In any case, the sacrificial person thinks so.

A sick family member seems to prove to the proud parent that he does not want any good, and this makes the parent terribly angry. He can unleash a stream of cruel, painfully hurting words on a chronically ill child, which makes the child worse, the better he wants to be. In the next moment, the parent may curse himself for what he said, but after a while the situation will repeat itself. Sick child, and heis an a mirror reflection of the sick attitude of parents to life, moThat's why you'll be ill for the rest of your life. A parent who wants to brag about his child is deprived of such an opportunity. His spouse, most likely, experiences a kind of bitter triumph of the winner on this occasion, because the illness of the child is primarily a consequence of the struggle for primacy waged bybetween the stress of both parents.

The stronger the winner triumphs, the greater the bitterness experienced by the vanquished and the stronger their mutual karmic hatred, which will accompany them for more than one subsequent life. It doesn't matter if it's openly expressed or not. Whoever realizes, then recognizes his error and thereby corrects it. He cannot do it for another.

If a person is forced to accept sacrifices from his neighbor, he experiences mental anguish and feels himself indebted to him. Often such sufferers turn out to be husbands who, with all tenderness and caress,persuade the wife to take a break from the hassle. Especially good wife will not fail to take offense at her husband for his care, even if he knows that he is right. In fact, she is not offended, but her desire to be even better. The desire to prove oneself from the best side forces one to get down to business even in the case when a person is hopelessly ill and it is time for him to start thinking about himself.

In order to restore the good reputation of the family, a person is able to devote himself to the family without a trace. He ceases to live his own life. However, the family problem is not resolved from this.

Why? because dedication saint goals turns spiritual light into spiritual darkness. Dedication goals there is self-sacrifice.

Sacrificing oneself for the good of a loved one, a wife or husband does not even think to ask, is it necessary? The neighbor does not need sacrifices, but the person, nevertheless, sacrifices himself. The devastating disease that has fallen on him destroys the family, dooming the household to suffering. The state of illness is a kind of retribution to the family for being indebted to a benefactor. Unpaid debts bring retribution.

Only he who perceives family problem as a disgrace to myself. People who are delighted with such an attitude towards the family can compose praises, as they wish to partake of such a spirit, but in general, admiration quickly fades. There are people who, for the sake of family honor and pride, devote themselves to the family so much that they no longer see or hear anything else. This behavior is caused by subconscious fear — God forbid, people learn about the shame. Despite this, life, alas, does not remove shame from us. It will show up in future generations.

The desire to achieve the goal, self-denial and self-sacrifice These are all energies that need to be released.

husband for whom home destroys the spirit of the family.Mental illnesses of children are the most serious consequences of such stubbornness of the father.. The wife for whom home the goal is to prove one's superiority, destroys the soul of the family. The family is scattered and falling apart. If a harsh word or harsh hand father does not allow the household to scatter, they become mentally ill.

Spouses who do not yield to each other the palm are taken to prove their parental superiority. According to the principle - if your own suffering is not enough, let the children suffer too. At first, the child is proud of one parent and ashamed of the other. Subsequently, he is ashamed of both. Moreover, the feeling of shame is detrimental to the child himself, although the parents were the cause of shame.

2. Essentially the same destructive work is performed by unabated rivalry between parents and children for superiority. To an outside observer, this spectacle may seem terrifying, while the direct participants in the heat of the struggle do not notice anything. The struggle continues until the complete rupture of relations, or until one of those involved leaves this world. Over time, when the wounds have healed, a person with coldness renounces the child or the parents. Because is it a child or is it a parent?

There are also parents who are constantly dissatisfied with their child, and for any reason. From birth, a child feels like a hindrance to parents, superfluous and generally undesirable. No child feels anything for no reason. If his feeling is reinforced by parental behavior, then he really was born unwanted. He has toendure cavils and reproaches until the limit is reached. This usually happens when the child loses hope that his parents will ever love him, and he decides to live an independent life from now on.

Parents, confident in their superiority, do not agree with this, for a child not in control of life would be a disgrace to them. At the mere thought that society will start pointing fingers at them, they rush to shame the child in order to somehow rectify the situation. A child, whose feelings are finally dead by that time, can, being in his right mind, raise his hand against his parents and kill them. To put an end to spiritual killing, he kills assassins.The real culprits get what they deserve, and the imaginary culprit goes to jail.

Parents, at least somewhat satisfied with themselves, do not shame the child in absolutely everything. They shame him for what he likes but they don't like. This means that they shame the corresponding feelings of the child. In extreme cases, the result may be the loss of a particular type of sensation, caused by the necrosis of the nerves of the corresponding sense organ.

Parents whose pride wishes to assert their superiority over their children, walk in the winners, while their children are small. By shaming a child, parents do not dishonor him, but themselves. But they do not admit this, even when they say: "This child— my disgrace." If in this struggle the child is not finally finished off - spiritually or physically, as a person or as an animal, then the older he becomes, the more often he turns out to be the winner.

If, in spite of this, the child wishes to earn the love of his mother or father, or both, wishes to prove that he is better than his parents think, he can make his own family life hell. He gets annoyed over any trifle related to his parents, taking out his anger on his wife. Or on the one who turns up under the arm, because he does not understand the reasons for his anger. If people, entering into marriage, were able to leave in the past the problems of their childhood, if they, as adults, ceased to perceive themselves as parental children, then in their family life peace would reign. If parents would not treat their children as their property, they would not interfere with the children's lives, and the children would be happy. Usually, a child has more than one marriage upset before he manages to tear his parents out of his heart, carrying a bleeding wound in his soul for the rest of his life.

Relationships often deteriorate because of grandparents who rush co with his kindness and goodness as with a written bag. They whisper one thing to one of the rival parties, another to the other, and a third to the children, because of which everyone experiences distrust and anger against everyone. When a person desperately wants to show his best side, he lacks a sober mind in order to appreciate the inert principles of the elderly.

Husband's or wife's parentsonly add fuel to the fire, since want to show their best side.

3. Rivalry between siblings becomes tougher with the growth of material well-being and the desire to increase one's prosperity. Children of the same parents can become each other's most sworn blood enemies - the blows they inflict are the most merciless, because knowing each other's weak spot, it's easy to get straight into the top ten. Wanting to assert his superiority, a person without a twinge of conscience exposes his neighbor in a shameful light. He is so disgraced because of a mere trifle that he dies. But even after death, he does not forgive the offender.

For another person, the death of a sister or brother, or someone who has become a sister or brother in spirit, is perceived as a universal tragedy, since he desired this death in his soul. He does not understand why such a terrible thought has settled in him. And she sat down because a person is ashamed because he failed to prove his superiority over his neighbor. The thought always comes to tell a person that he needs to think about his life first. And only after that act, if necessary.

The rivalry between brothers and sisters for superiority is the more merciless, the more unevenly the parents treat their children. The greatest mistake parents can make with their children is ranking them in order. The consequence of this is a lifelong blood feud between children up to bloodshed. As long as the memory of shame remains in the memory, the thirst for revenge is passed on from generation to generation, on which the duty falls to avenge injustice. Otherwise they won't be able to breathe because physical life and physical healthhas thanks to the diaphragm, which operates exclusively on the energy of communicationtoast. Discrimination between children is an injustice to those who are consideredthe best, as well as those who are considered the worst.

Whoever does not revere the family as a shrine in his heart, the family will disgrace him.

In the same family, perhaps, there is a person who, in spite of everything, reveres the family as a shrine, and it is impossible to stain him with dirt. Everyone else might want it badly, but dirt doesn't stick to him. In an attempt to soil it with dirt, people get dirty themselves.

A pure soul cannot be polluted.

Unfortunately, in our era, children with intellectual disabilities, as a rule, are congenital, so unstained in developed countries.

Relationships are always about compromise. But at the same time, it is important to improve the ability to accept a loved one as he is, to adapt to him yourself, and not to demand changes in a directive order! But what to do if he shows his superiority, teaches, reads morals, tells how to do something correctly, etc.? Is it annoying?! And how! Read the site on the site, how to deal with such a “tutor” in the person of your own spouse!

As happens more often: the husband brings up the wife or the wife of the husband?

Dear women! Before we start discussing (and condemning) male "cockroaches", let's honestly look into the eyes of our own "cockroaches"?

After all, the strategy of development of relations " first I fall in love and get married, and then I bring up my husband to the ideal» is typical just for women!

Standard development scenario female love : “Oh my God, what a man!!! He plays the guitar, blond with gray eyes... mmm ... how jeans fit on him ... oh, he gives me roses! “Let’s get married, and then I’ll slowly re-educate him!!!”

For men, as a rule, everything is different - if a man falls in love so much that he decides to marry, then either he does not notice serious shortcomings in the chosen one, or notices, but they are insignificant for him - a man perceives a woman as a whole, as a single image, and not a set of pluses and minuses, the ratio of which is desirable to change! In other words, more straightforward male thinking often suggests a different option for choosing a life partner - immediately find a “ready-made” one and marry her, and not re-educate a “semi-finished product”!

Why do situations arise when a husband wants to re-educate his wife?

But this is a fairly common problem - a loving spouse begins to treat his wife like a child who needs to instill his vision of the world, his views on certain issues, teach him how to do something “correctly”, etc.

Of course, any relationship requires compromises and changes, but if the wife does not want to become what her husband wants to see her, then a husband raising a wife will most likely achieve only problems and tensions in relationships!

But still - what male "cockroaches" become the cause?

Husband wants dominance. That is, the point is probably not in the wife herself and the changes required from her, but in the very process of “education”: to tell how to live correctly, what a woman should be like, why one should obey the “great and wise” spouse, etc. The wife is silent and nods, the husband receives the joy of self-affirmation. A very common male "trouble"! Sometimes even the most wonderful loving husbands “break through” to such moods!
A man grew up with the belief that a husband should raise his wife, for him this is the most correct model of marital relationships (perhaps peeped in parental family). In a sense, this is what he got married for - to have a woman nearby who can be legally commanded.
The couple developed a parent-child relationship. That is, it is not so bad, in fact, as it sounds - this combination is just complementary and quite harmonious, such couples often stay together for a very long time, creating strong families! Sometimes this alignment is due to a real significant difference in age (you can read about), but not always. It’s just that the “parent” husband is more inclined to take responsibility, solve difficulties, etc., and the “child” wife herself wants support, tips from him ... And if the spouse does not “go too far”, then in this case “ “raising” a wife by her husband will certainly not hurt their relationship!

But in general, if a husband brings up his wife, he will certainly compensate for some of his own complexes - lack of success in other areas of life, for example.

What to do if a husband tries to re-educate his wife?

First, listen to your husband's speeches and try to "separate the wheat from the chaff" - which of his wishes have a constructive basis, which of them you can really fulfill?

I understand that the monotonous notations performed by the husband are annoying, he is wrong that he achieves what he wants in this way! But if we are talking about everyday trifles - like, “well, how much to teach you, there should be beef in borscht, not chicken!” - in my opinion, it's easier to learn a new recipe and not listen to the same claims for the twentieth time! And the husband will be just happy that his wife finally listened to him and the borscht became tastier!

Now let's deal with those requirements with which you do not agree and are not going to fulfill.

For example, “You dressed up again! Why - seduce other people's men? Put on that little gray skirt with a hoodie and wash off your makeup - I like you any!

To begin with - clearly and without nerves explain your position to your husband: why do you do it this way, and not otherwise, what will be bad for you if you do it like a man, and separately explain why you are offended by his demand: “You don’t trust me, you suspect me of sympathy for other men - but this is not so!”. Perhaps a serious calm conversation instead of silently ignoring requests or, conversely, tantrums, will give its results!

But what if husband raises his wife "for order"— to feel more important?

Wise wives in such cases often act according to the principle: Listen, agree, and ... do it your way!».

Give your husband what he needs - your admiration: praise him more often for his achievements, say what a wonderful head of the family he is, how lucky you are with him, how he reasonably acted in such and such a situation, solved such and such a question, etc.! Perhaps the husband will calm down, feel that he is still valued and respected, and will do without "educational" activities!

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