Family relationships. It's family relationships. Causes of conflict situations

And close people, more important than whom no one can be. Therefore, family relationships play a huge, primary role in mental development and well-being of each of its members.

Conventionally, psychologists divide families into prosperous and dysfunctional families, constantly correcting themselves: each family has its own problems. To reduce problems to a minimum, to change the state of things in your home, you need elementary basic knowledge of family psychology and the desire to create a favorable environment in which everyone could develop along a path determined by nature, without interference and serious disorders, complexes, erroneous ideas about the world, about yourself and those around you.

1. Do not close your eyes to rudeness, put each other in their place. And if this is not possible (meaning socially dangerous cases, for example, in the case of an alcoholic husband), reduce communication with this family member to a minimum.
2. Learn to negotiate. By speaking out the problem, we make it clear to the partner, child, parent that we are ready to discuss solutions, to come to a compromise. This is how respect for each other is shown, without which a normal relationship in the family is impossible.
3. Encourage mutual assistance, responsiveness, the desire to spend leisure time together in every possible way (you better know who loves what, what you can do for everyone - this information is worth using). It is especially important to observe this rule in order to build relationships between children in the family. If you have several of them, put the emphasis on the fact that they are brother and sister (brothers or sisters), that they will never have anyone closer and dearer. Repeat this constantly, children are very receptive to the words of their parents. Over the years, you will see confirmation of this, your efforts and attention will not go in vain.
4. How you spend your leisure time, by the way, is very important. Separately? Okay, but you also need to have something in common, both as a spouse and as a parent with children. A trip to the park, a pizzeria, shops, walks - all these important little things will unite you like never before.
5. Availability is also important. If there are none, it's time to invent them. Traditions unite us, strengthen the union between husband and wife and the connection with children (such a measure is especially important and relevant for adolescents). Visiting grandparents, own holiday, cooking your favorite dish together, decorating Christmas tree- It can be anything. If only the traditions were respected by all. Not respected, it's time to come up with others.
6. Relationships in the family are based mainly on roles and responsibilities distributed between you. The roles in your family are already established. Dad is a breadwinner or spiritual leader. Mom is a housewife or a business woman. But in the case of duties, everything is more complicated. Everyone should work on comfort. Write it down once, agree on who is responsible for what, and you will deprive the family of the most common reason for quarrels.
7. Maintain love: in your relationship with your spouse and children. She does not disappear anywhere, so that no one talks about it. If there is respect, understanding and loyalty in the family, there will be love. This means that your bonds cannot be broken by random circumstances and even troubles. You are together and you are the strength. For the sake of this, it is worth being attentive to each other! Never forget to take time to communicate with your child and partner, especially with parents (they also need us, just like we need them, no matter how much time has passed since we were born).

Relationships in the family require your constant participation, no matter what role you play in it. Do not take each other for granted and eternal. As soon as you allow such an attitude towards loved ones, the family will begin to crumble. Think about what you can do for your loved ones from this list.

The basis of the psychological well-being of children is harmoniously built relationships between all family members. With frequent discord and conflicts, children suffer, are humiliated, or, on the contrary, a certain privileged position is created for them. At the same time, the development of psychosomatic reactions in the child is inevitable, when adverse psychological factors are manifested by physiological symptoms.

Therefore, it is very important when any problems arise in the family not to wait until everything settles down by itself, but to turn to family psychologist for correct correction. But before things get too far, the relationship between parents and children can be improved using the tips in this article.

An important factor in building relationships between parents and children is the scenario of education. The model of behavior of a parent of the same sex is assimilated from early childhood, subconsciously duplicated. And in the future, creating his own family, he will definitely sublimate this model into his relationships.

At the same time, the child often endures not only the model of behavior, but also the style of upbringing, as well as the complete scenario of the family. Such is the psychology, it happens unconsciously.

Scenario to repeat

Regardless of the scenario of the family, the child perceives and sets aside the behavior model of each parent individually at the subconscious level, as the only possible, natural, normal one. This happens even if this model is far from ideal.

That is why, when creating their own family, adults repeat the behavior of the parent of their own sex, even if this behavior was immoral. Yes, a person is aware that it is unacceptable to behave this way, but he simply does not know how to behave differently. Nobody taught him that it is possible to quite successfully get out of conflict situations, how to be a good spouse and parent. He learned from his parents. Examples from other families may differ, they are, but are not significant.

For example, when she was little, the girl wanted in adulthood not to be like her mother, to behave in a completely different way. This happens if the mother's behavior model is not a worthy role model. But in adulthood, the girl will definitely find a life partner, in many ways similar to her father. At first, she will resist herself. But gradually she will begin to behave, as her mother once did. She simply does not know another relationship scenario and unconsciously transfers the example she knows to her own family.

Scenario variant parental family child is a priority. It is deposited at the subconscious level, as the only the right way behavior, communication, stereotype, traditions.

It is noteworthy that in dysfunctional families, where children were treated with disdain, with insults and even beatings, adults do not always grow up with the same attitude towards their own children. If there was a positive example of behavior in the life of a child (for example, families of friends), sometimes he will raise his own offspring in direct opposition to his parents.

Family - the first stage of development

The behavior of parents directly affects the life of the child, the model of his behavior in his own family. It is very important for parents to realize how appropriate the claims, punishments or rewards are. In this way, harmonious relationships can be built.

Parents naturally have the greatest influence on the children in the family. Their upbringing prevails over upbringing in children's institutions. And this directly affects how the personality is formed. In psychology, there are several styles of parenting, which we will discuss in more detail.

parenting styles

Authoritarianism

With an authoritarian style, all the wishes of the parents are the law, they must be fulfilled unquestioningly. But the child is repressed, and adults do not even suspect it. Parents demand obedience, but do not even try to explain the reason for their behavior. And it is not always correct for her to have tight control over his hobbies and interests. As a result, the child grows up closed, there is no contact with parents, he is not self-confident, notorious. Not every child is trying to defend their interests, deciding on a direct conflict.

What can be recommended? First you need to realize that this style is not correct, try to reduce control, pressure. Let the child learn to express himself. It is necessary to respect his interests, desires and hobbies. It is important to work on yourself in order to avoid problems in the future, when a notorious and cowardly person grows up, who will always wait for someone to make a decision for him.

Democracy

Such an approach in psychology is considered the most optimal. At the same time, discipline is taught, independence is encouraged. Children themselves learn to fulfill their duties, and the rights are in no way infringed upon by adults. The attitude towards the child is respectful, his opinion is considered, consulted if necessary. There is also no overprotection, the reasons for punishment are explained. This style has a great effect on conflict resolution, there are practically no big scandals.

Another one distinguishing feature this style is moderation. There is no aggressiveness. The child has the makings of a leader, he learns not to succumb to the manipulation of other people. He has well-developed communication skills, the ability to empathize.

What can you recommend to parents? Create a friendly atmosphere so that in the future the children can trust you, count on support, without fear of condemnation or punishment. But at the same time, the measure is important, the child must feel the authority of adults and treat them accordingly.

Liberalism

This style is sometimes called conniving. The upbringing of the child and punishment, the explanation of actions are completely absent. Everything is permitted to him, there are no prohibitions or restrictions. This is very bad, because the child grows up spoiled, believes that everyone owes him, does not take into account the opinions of others. And with any ban, he is not just surprised, but demands what he wants with all the methods available to him, up to aggression and assault on his parents. It is impossible to instill any values ​​in such a child.

What can you advise parents? You can not leave the development of the child to himself. Otherwise, in the future in his life will certainly appear bad Company where he will fall under the influence of more authoritative peers. We need to change tactics as soon as possible. Yes, it will not be easy, but gradually the child will get used to the new lifestyle. The main thing is not to stop, not to indulge in tantrums and whims. It is important to introduce any rules, duties for children, to pay more attention to them, to prevent a lack of control.

Based on the foregoing, we can summarize - in order to educate a full-fledged and self-sufficient personality, it is important to be able to combine control and democracy in education, accept your baby as he is, respect his interests, opinions and hobbies.

And in the future, he will transfer such relationships and the experience gained to his own family.

Parenting Approaches

Each family has its own educational system. It is based on creating harmony between its members. In psychology, there are several main approaches to education, including: non-intervention, dictatorship, cooperation and guardianship.

With a dictatorial style of behavior, the dignity and independence of the child is oppressed. Such claims can be made only when necessary, but not always. Otherwise, self-esteem decreases, the fear of expressing one's opinion develops. Such children grow up hypocritical, notorious, do not want to take the initiative, they are easy to manage, which in adulthood is not a positive quality.

If guardianship is the leading type in a family, children are usually protected from difficulties, any worries, any of their needs are met. Of course, parents do not act out of malice, they want to take full care of the child, give him all the best and warn against all troubles. But this is doing a disservice. Children then are not ready for difficulties, they do not know how to establish contact with others, they are not independent, they do not know how to make decisions. And you can't always be there.

With this type of behavior as non-intervention, parents are passive observers from the outside. They do not participate in the life of the child, letting his upbringing take its course. They also do not allow the child to encroach on their personal space, believing that it is not right to devote all the time to the child, you need to live for yourself. There is some truth in this, but you should not go too far.

Collaboration is considered the best approach. In such a family, the child has created comfortable conditions for development.

All households, as a team, act towards one common goal - a happy family in which each member respects the opinion of the other, listens to advice. You can not be afraid to grow an egoist.

Consequences of different approaches

With the democratic method, it is possible to establish harmonious relationships in the family. The child grows up as an independent, responsible, active person. His behavior is flexible, requirements are explained, actions are analyzed. Power is appropriate only when necessary. Obedience is encouraged, as is the independence of the baby. It is important to establish a clear line - they listen to the opinion of the child, but do not proceed from it.

The remaining types of behavior are variants of deviations from the norm. With the authoritarian type, alienation occurs, parents are insignificant to children, they feel unwanted. With unreasonable demands, the response is aggression and protest, or vice versa, apathy and passivity. With a liberal type of upbringing, the child feels permissiveness, does not think about the consequences of his actions, and as a result, growing up, he does not know how to achieve his goals.

In spite of Negative consequences, the most common type of upbringing is authoritarianism. This is dictated by the experience of previous generations. Despite the fact that parents understand and remember all the difficulties of this approach, they still try to build the same relationship in their own family. Strength and power is perceived as the fastest and most affordable way to solve problems and conflicts.

When educating small child this approach is not met with possible protests. But in transitional age a teenager tries to resist, on this basis conflicts and disagreements constantly arise. And this is the fault of the parents. Therefore, it is very important to early age choose the most optimal method of education, since it is almost impossible to change it in the future.

Features of education at the present time

The personality of a person is formed in the family. If they do not take part in the upbringing of the child, friends and acquaintances become the closest, to take an example from which it is far from always good idea. You can not dominate the child, suppressing his will, interests and desires. Often in modern world adults are trying to involve strangers in the educational process. This happens due to circumstances (employment, work, lack of experience and desire to acquire it).

If they resort to the services of a nanny, the child does not receive the right amount of love and care. You can leave the baby with the grandparents, only for a short time. This change of scenery is beneficial.

But do not allow the baby to be constantly outside the house. It is important to know for yourself what is invested in the child, and not to trust it to other people.

The responsibility of parents also deserves special attention. Often the child grows up on his own. Parents are sure that he can get the right education in kindergarten and at school. And their duties are only to check the diary. This is a big misconception. The family is the primary source of education. This must be remembered. It is important to participate in the lives of children, regardless of age, to know about their interests and hobbies, where he spends his free time, with whom he is friends.

When demands are made calmly without violence, children usually listen. Mutual respect is the key to building harmonious relationships.

How to improve relationships

The process of building trust is not always easy. And you need to start with yourself. It is important to be able to admit your mistakes, apologize to the child, overcome your own negative emotional impulses without taking them out on children.

Important Steps

1. You can not splash out your own negative emotions on others. Learn to say what you feel, finding out the reason for these emotions. Aggression is transmitted to the child, he takes an example from an unbalanced parent.
2. You can't force a child to do something they don't want to do. It is important to encourage his talents, aspirations, even if you do not like them. Praise small and big achievements. Support in failures, do not use humor at such moments so that the child does not think that his problems are unimportant to you, and you just laugh at them.
3. Don't be shy about showing your feelings. It is important to tell the baby that you love, hug more often - tactile contact is very important for a young child. Unloved children grow up unbalanced, aggressive, unable to cope with their emotions.
4. You do not need to dedicate the child to your problems. The alarming state of mom or dad is necessarily transmitted to him. But if an adult, in this way, is looking for a way to solve a problem, then in a child it happens differently. He feels guilty for not being able to help. Learn to solve your problems yourself, without involving children. Otherwise, it will negatively affect the formation of their personality.
5. Learn to clearly explain the rules, requirements. It is important from an early age to give an attitude about what is possible and impossible. And if not, why not. Prohibit less than allow. Education must be consistent. Don't threaten punishment. If you are guilty, punish. There must be consistency in words and deeds.
6. Give your son or daughter the opportunity for personal space, the right to choose. Let them choose their own circle or sports section, wallpaper for their room and clothes.
7. You can not offend other people in front of children. They also shouldn't be allowed to behave like this. If a child tries to offend someone or speaks badly about him, this behavior cannot be justified by the fact that he is still small. There must be rigor and explanation in this.
8. Teach your child to express their emotions by example. For example, if he gets angry, tries to shout hurtful words, say: “I understand, you are angry, offended, angry. It will pass. I would be offended too." In the same way, learn to express joy.
9. Raise your children on your own. Do not leave in the care of grandmothers. Firstly, you shift the responsibility from your shoulders, secondly, grandmothers may have a different view on the way of upbringing, and thirdly, think about the grandmothers themselves! They have already raised you, give them the opportunity to enjoy their age, do not immerse them again in parenting hardships.

Remember that the parent-child relationship in your family is something you create with your own hands.

The child should feel love, need and significance in the family. And this should not be manifested only by material goods. Love your children, pay great attention to education. So they will grow up as full-fledged individuals, in harmony with themselves and others.

The family for each person is a support and support. Thanks to her, a sense of one's own importance in the world is created.

Relationships in the family, what can be: the characteristics of the species will be discussed in this article. Let's talk about the modern family.

It is not uncommon for family relationships to cause internal discomfort. In this case, a person, having matured, tries to escape, break any connection. Factors affecting the well-being of a married couple:

• level of upbringing, education;
• moral convictions, principles;
• life guidelines, etc.

A comfortable existence is the goal of any person. Grow, be in harmony with yourself, make own house The family helps with strength and protection from trouble. What exactly she will become and how long the marriage will last will depend entirely on the spouses.

Traditional

This is the most harmonious and comfortable form of relationship. Distinguished by its stability. Such a family is filled with love, respect, mutual support and understanding.

The resolution of conflict situations takes place in a calm manner, the opinions and wishes of everyone are taken into account. Children who grew up in a full-fledged family with a positive example of the culture of communication and behavior of their parents, on a subconscious level, show a similar attitude towards their own.

According to statistics, such an idealized form of relationship is rarely established. Mostly mixed species.

parent-child

Such relationships occur in families where one of the spouses is older than the other. In this case, in relation to the "younger" care, guardianship is shown, there are educational moments. The described unions are more often observed in couples where the spouse is an adult, wealthy or, on the contrary, young and infantile, and the other half is an adult woman.

Relationships can last a long time. The destruction of such a union occurs during the maturation of the spouse-child. In this case, dominance causes irritation, hostility and rejection. Relationships wear out and fall apart. Attempts to improve them do not lead to success.

Tyranny

In married couples of this type, the personality of one spouse - a tyrant - dominates. As a rule, this is a rude, domineering person, occupying a dominant role in relation to close, native people.

He comprehensively controls the lives of others, subjugates their will to himself, establishes an authoritarian regime. The opinion of household members in this way is not taken into account. Financial expenses for the provision and needs of family members are tightly controlled. Quite often the tyrant uses assault. The duration of a relationship depends on many factors.

Disunited family

Outwardly, such couples create the impression of a harmonious, happy union. Each spouse lives his own life, has his own interests and goals.

They live in a "guest" and "civil" marriage. Spouses can live happily for a long time away from each other, in different cities.

Such alliances have existed for quite a long time. The gap may be due to a number of factors:

• change of outlook;
• rethinking attitudes towards marriage;
• inability to find understanding on the part of the second spouse.

The above reasons lead to a cooling of relations, alienate people from each other, lead to a dead end.

Friendly

Mutual understanding and support in such relationships are close to a traditional family. Spouses have common goals, tasks, but there is no strong physical affection. The family is destroyed when one of the spouses finds a suitable sexual partner who is close to him and causes an emotional outburst in his soul.

"Fireworks"

Such a family is created by emotional, temperamental individuals who do not want to make concessions, who do not know how to negotiate among themselves. Clarification of the relationship is for show. Quarrels are violent. However, after the burst negative energy, the couple continues to live happily until the next quarrel. According to polls of sociologists, couples consider their union happy, do not experience discomfort from cohabitation. Such families can live a long life in harmony.

Impact on children

The family in which the child grows up leaves an imprint on his mental development. Children who grew up in love, affection, when his interests are taken into account and they are not neglected, grow up with normal self-esteem, balanced, calm, with a certain supply of warmth and kindness in the soul, which subsequently spreads to his family.

An imbalance in the relationship of parents sharply worsens the inner harmony of the child, causes irreparable harm to development (moral, intellectual, etc.).

Children's fragile psyche is distorted under the influence of unhealthy relationships of parents in the family. Tyranny leads to the development of sadistic tendencies in a child, blurring the boundaries of what is permitted, causing bodily and mental harm to others. Such children are more closed, more difficult to adapt in society.

The family is the key to a person's success. What it will be, depends on its future. Show respect for each other, create a mutually comfortable living environment, love your other half and children.

Every couple wants the relationship in marriage to maintain harmony and well-being for as long as possible. Understanding is important - building a happy and strong family is the daily work of both partners. The harmonious union of a man and a woman is built on mutual respect, understanding, as well as the ability to find a compromise in acute situations.

The psychology of family relations deals with the study of acute issues, misunderstandings and disagreements between spouses. As well as finding ways to resolve conflicts and build mutual understanding in a married couple. Knowledge and understanding of situations in which the emergence of a conflict is possible will help to avoid sharp corners, annoying mistakes and maintain peace in the family. Because to family psychology must be taken seriously. It is useful for every couple to know and put into practice the rules for building a strong marriage.

Building a separate new family always individually. Each person has his own character, interests, level of education and material income. Families are created in different ages and under various circumstances. At the same time, the stages of development through which each family passes are clearly traced.

After the formation of a new unit of society, each couple faces the same questions: learn how to manage a joint household, get along with relatives of the second half, and more. The joint solution of such issues is the development of relations in a couple. The psychology of family relations distinguishes seven main stages of their development:

1. Love. At this romantic stage of the relationship, the partner's shortcomings are overlooked or misinterpreted. For example, slovenliness is confused with cute distraction, rudeness with a strong character, lack of taste with creativity.
2. Confrontation. The transition to this stage often coincides with the desire of the couple to live together, after which people get to know each other better. The solution of everyday issues reveals different views on things, and the chosen one turns out to be not who he saw through the “rose-colored glasses” of the first stage. Psychology family life teaches how to normalize relations at this stage of development with the help of a sense of humor, the ability to show tolerance and find positive aspects in any situation.
3. Finding a compromise. At this stage, the acceptance of the shortcomings of your other half gradually comes, but the irritation does not go anywhere. The couple learns to find a compromise in most controversial situations.
4. Patience. The disadvantages of the second half are no longer annoying, tolerance comes, and the complete acceptance of the partner as he is. After understanding this, the relationship strengthens in a couple, and they develop into a mature relationship between a man and a woman.
5. Respect. After the unrest experienced between the spouses, there is a surge of feelings at a new level. A firm understanding of "WE" appears, and the development of the "I" of each spouse is not so painfully perceived. Sincere pride and joy in the achievements of a partner in personal growth comes. Career success is no longer perceived as a hindrance to family life.
6. Trust and gratitude. Family psychology at this stage reveals the appearance of gratitude to the partner. Spouses are ready to coordinate their actions and adapt to the needs of the second half.
7. Love. Only after going through all six stages, and without losing each other in constant confrontations, the couple finds true love, which over the years only becomes stronger and no adversity is able to breed them. At this stage, the relationship moves to a spiritual level, the spouses understand each other half a word, half a glance. Unfortunately, not all couples reach this stage.

Psychology of relations between husband and wife: levels

Family psychologists call three psychological levels of the relationship between husband and wife:

• social level. It implies the obligatory formalization of marriage. Both spouses understand that they have certain obligations to each other. Such couples have an unspoken agreement in the relationship: partnership or leadership of one of the spouses. There are usually no confrontations for dominance in a pair;
• sexual level. between a man and a woman is the key to well-being in the family. However, the cause of the conflict may be the infidelity of one of the spouses, more often it is a man;
• emotional level. The psychology of the relationship between a man and his wife highlights this level as the most important. It happens that the emotional and sensual intensity subsides over time, and satiety sets in. The couple quietly and peacefully disperse. To restore an emotional connection, psychologists advise partners to live apart for a while.

Crises of family life by years

The psychology of family relations reveals the onset of a crisis in absolutely every couple. Someone faces this at the very beginning of a relationship, and someone after 25 years. Psychologists of family relations clearly explain the emergence of a crisis in a given period living together spouses. Crisis over the years, ordeal for married couple, and not everyone experiences crises painlessly, as a result, families are destroyed.

Crisis of the first year

In the first year of life, partners study each other, get used to each other, fight for leadership in the family. By the end of the year, the idealized image of a partner, inspired by romance, is replaced by a real image. This crisis will bypass those people who have entered into marriage consciously and deliberately. Romantics are in for a deep disappointment.

Crisis after 3–5 years

By this time, as a rule, a child appears in the young unit of society. The already formed way of life is changing, and often the man is the first to experience inconvenience. Constantly crying baby, a nervous wife, hyperactive grandmothers, lack of finances - all this leads to the fact that the young father of the family cannot stand it. At this stage, it teaches the spouses to be able to support each other for the successful, joint overcoming of all difficulties.

Crisis of 7 years

The most controversial in the psychology of relations between a man and a woman in marriage is the crisis of 7 years. During this period, boredom creeps into the relationship from the daily routine, and monotonous sex on a schedule. The child is no longer capricious, the housing issue has been settled, duties are clearly divided. The day you live is an exact copy of the next.

The spouses have studied each other very well over the years they have lived together and there is no romance left in the relationship. In search of a variety of sexual life, the spouse begins to look to the side, and cheating often happens. The opinions of psychologists are divided: some believe that it is the routine that causes the breakup of the family, others are inclined to the infidelity of the husband. Men are more likely to leave the family after 7 years of marriage.

Crisis of 14 years

The most difficult psychology of family relations calls the 14-year crisis married life. During this period, the parents begin, and the child has a transitional period. Yesterday a smiling child, today it turns into a closed, gloomy teenager. Misunderstanding between the child and parents leads to conflicts in the family.

Adults begin to rethink personal achievements and come to the erroneous conclusion that the family has become a hindrance to a failed career. Everything is aggravated in the difference of views on the upbringing of a difficult teenager, which leads to more frequent quarrels.

Crisis of 25 years

Men are more likely to initiate divorce after 25 years of married life. During this period, a woman has menopause, hormonal changes take place, and her sexual activity is noticeably reduced. Men, on the contrary, want to show everyone (and first of all to themselves) that it is too early to write them off, and begin to think about betrayal.

Children by this time are already growing up and leaving the parental nest, and it turns out that it was they who acted as a factor holding the family together. During this period, it is important to morally support each other, start to actively relax together, pay more attention to the partner, and then the relationship will grow to a new, spiritual level of development.

Simple Rules for Building Good Relationships

Psychologists who study the psychology of family relations between a wife and a husband have developed simple rules that can be used to suppress the emerging conflict at an early stage. Five rules to help keep peace in the family:

• respect each other and relatives of the second half;
• show consideration and gratitude;
• be able to make concessions and forgive;
• do not focus on the shortcomings of a partner, especially in terms of sex;
• listen to the other half and look for a compromise together.

Even following these simple rules does not guarantee the preservation of relationships. It is important not to lose physical contact, because you can say a lot to your loved one. Common goals, dreams and their joint implementation contribute to the establishment of close relationships.

Readiness for family life

When planning to start a family, a couple should have a general understanding of the psychology of the family and family relationships. This knowledge will save you from mistakes in the future and help you assess your readiness for family life. It is a mistake to assume that puberty is enough for harmonious relationships and creating a family. The psychology of family relations focuses on three criteria for a couple's readiness to create a family: physical and mental maturity, social maturity, as well as ethical and psychological readiness for family life together.

Mental maturity implies a person's ability to self-actualize, to take a sober look at the existing state of affairs, the ability to find mutual language with people around. Future spouses understand that they will have to share household and financial difficulties in half and are ready for mutual assistance.

Social maturity means having an education, a job, and being able to support yourself and your family.

Psychological readiness implies the presence of common interests, spiritual values, views on the upbringing of children and awareness of the concept of "WE". At the same time, the personal "I" of the partners should not be infringed.

Understanding the psychology of the relationship between husband and wife in marriage will save young people from hasty decisions and rash conclusions of an alliance.

How to build trusting relationships?

At the initial stages of the development of relations, a high level of trust in the partner is formed. Lovers share secrets and dreams, open their souls to each other, and together make plans for the future. But after the start of family life and the birth of a child, the difficulties of everyday life and everyday routine minimize warm communication in a couple. Over time, this leads to alienation, and as soon as the children grow up, there is no need for them to maintain the appearance of a family. As a result, the couple divorced.

The psychology of family relations gives an answer to how to avoid such a plot, build anew and keep it in the future. trusting relationship between partners.

Knowing and using the following advice from psychologists, the likelihood of alienation of the second half is reduced:

• try to praise your partner as often as possible, make compliments, speak kind words;
• follow the words and even jokingly avoid offensive words addressed to a dear person;
• do not use “closed” gestures during quarrels (crossing arms, looking askance, tilting the body forward);
• do not invade the personal space of a partner without asking;
• not allow outsiders (parents, friends, colleagues) to interfere in the union;
• don't vent anger loved one no matter how strong the desire;
• do not accumulate resentment, directly say what does not suit you in a relationship.

In addition, it is important to perform household duties jointly, dividing them equally. Often, a lack of understanding of responsibility for daily obligations at the household level causes the breakup of a young family.

Family counseling

Even knowledge and use in practice of the above rules and psychological techniques does not help to save the family. In this case, you should seek professional help.

A psychologist-hypnologist provides such assistance at a high level.

There are certain types of relationships that make us feel comfortable with our loved ones. However, everything is not at all rosy, and the people who should be the closest are the cause of frequent misunderstandings and dissatisfaction.

Let's see what types of family relationships are found, as well as how to avoid conflicts in the family.

What family relationships are built on: characteristics of types

• traditional marriage. This is the most harmonious type, where there is love, respect for others, and mutual understanding. Its main characteristic is stability. A married couple has a common outlook on life, and even if disagreements arise, both partners try to smooth out sharp corners. Such relationships are the result of showing respect and love. Unions of this kind are in most cases durable. An important role in shaping the correct view of family relationships is played by the model of the family, where the husband and wife grew up;
• parent-children (there is a significant age difference between spouses from 7 to 20 years or more). At the same time, one of the spouses behaves as irresponsible and crybaby, and the second, in turn, assumes the obligations of an adult who pampers, takes care, takes care of in every possible way, solves life's problems. In most cases, this pattern of behavior is typical for wealthy husbands who have married young girls or for dominant women who have entered into an alliance with immature and weak guys. Such relationships can last for a long time. They will collapse only when the spouse "growing up" in the role of a "child", then the dominant partner will annoy him with his overprotectiveness;
• tyranny. In unions of such a plan, there is only one person - a tyrant. He does not take into account the interests and needs of other family members, they obey the dictator. In such marriages there is assault;
• a divided family. Such a marriage from the outside seems quite prosperous, but boundaries are distributed between spouses. Each spouse has his own separate life, while no one encroaches on the interests of the partner. Spouses can even live in different cities, countries;
• brother-sister relationship. In marriage unions of this kind, relations are built on mutual respect, common interests, goals and excellent mutual understanding. No matter how promising it may sound, such couples often doom themselves to parting. This is due to the lack of mutual attraction and the absence of carnal passions. The collapse of such a marriage occurs at the moment when one of the partners meets a person who causes violent emotions and sexual desire in him, which the spouse does not cause;
• Fireworks relationships are built on the rivalry of the spouses, neither of them wants to make concessions. All controversial issues and misunderstandings are resolved by loud scandals and violent showdowns. At the same time, “little rubbish is taken out of the family” regularly, and all the neighbors discuss their problems. But violent quarrels are being replaced by eccentric reconciliation to new negative outbursts. Such relationships can be quite long if this state of affairs suits both partners.

The role of men and women in the family

The most democratic type of relationship is partnership. In such a marriage, it does not matter who has more income, they have a common budget. The family has common goals, any conflicts are resolved during the conversation, and a compromise solution is chosen. In such an alliance, a friendly atmosphere and a good home environment are maintained.

Matriarchy is common. In this relationship model, women have higher earnings than men by influencing them in this way, or they are activists who prefer to make their own decisions. Sometimes husbands give their wives the opportunity to dominate because of manifestations of laziness, lack of desire to take responsibility, etc. Accordingly, husbands and wives change roles: men take care of the house, and women provide for the family.

The patriarchal type of marriage is no less common than the previous ones. Patriarchy in the family is a family structure in which the spouse and children obey the father (husband). The latter acts as the head of the family and makes decisions for all members of the cell of society. In this model of marriage, the woman is either in charge of household and raising children, or works, combining with caring for loved ones and housekeeping. In such a family, close family ties are maintained, and obedience to the elders in the family is cultivated. Often, partners enter into an alliance once.

In any case, every marriage has its strengths and weak sides and it's up to you to decide which family model you want to see in the future by choosing a permanent partner.