Sherry Schneider: New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls. So, without delaying things, we present to you “New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls! Ellen's New Rules

We are not licensed psychologists, psychiatrists or social workers, and rules not intended by us as a replacement psychological consultations. This is simply a philosophy of personal life based on our own experience and the experience of thousands of women who have turned to us for advice and help.

PSYCHOLOGICAL BEST SELLERS

Right to left. Why do people cheat and is it possible to avoid cheating

Why do people change? What makes them start second families and develop complex schemes for leading a double life? Esther Perel, a practicing psychotherapist, has worked with hundreds of infidelity couples over the course of 10 years. Her book is a comprehensive study of the desire that arises when looking at the side.

Act like a woman, think like a man. Why men love, but do not marry, and other secrets of the stronger sex

Only a man can decipher the behavior of other men and suggest how to act correctly in various situations. Millions of women around the world trusted Steve Harvey in this matter. Funny and honest, this book is about what men really think about relationships with women.

Smart Wife Rules. You're either right or you're married

Many women manage to catch a man, but how many of them are happily married? In this book, you will find 40 rules necessary to maintain harmony and understanding in marriage. You will receive answers to all your questions, learn how to successfully overcome any conflicts, find a compromise in any dispute and just be a happy couple.

You don't know anything about men

Steve Harvey continues to reveal men's secrets. What to expect from a man when he is 20, 30, 40, 50 years old and more? What to do in a situation where you have been together for a long time, but he still does not make an offer? How to achieve harmony in bed, in the kitchen and in the family budget? The book provides honest answers to these and many other important questions.

Chapter I
Why We Wrote This Book

Does it happen that your mother or another relative, friend or acquaintance is perplexed: “Oh, you are so beautiful, smart and sweet - why don’t you have a boyfriend?” And you seem to be speechless, because you also cannot explain this and do not understand what your mistakes in the field of dating and personal life are.

Today, women can do everything - graduate educational establishments with honors, climb corporate ladders, and even run for president of the United States. But to make a man invite you to meet or take on any obligations is an almost impossible task! Alas, we know why most beautiful, smart and pleasant women do not have their “half”: they either chase men themselves or show excessive enthusiasm when they make the first move!

So our rules- this is a way of communicating with any man (provided that he first started a conversation with you, in person or on the Internet), thanks to which he becomes obsessed with you and is ready for a serious relationship.

Yes, it's all about getting your own worth: men love challenges and lose interest when the object of that interest—and especially a woman—gets too easy for them.

Our book became an instant bestseller and was translated into 27 languages ​​because men are the same all over the world! We visited almost every radio and television program, preaching our “gospel of the hard-to-reach.” We launched our phone and email consulting business and created the free Rules Network, helping thousands of women set and maintain their boundaries in courtship to boost self-esteem, find love, and get married.

Now we want to help you succeed in your personal life too by dedicating our time-tested secrets that are applicable in all situations, no matter what you deal with - SMS messages, Facebook, instant messengers or Skype. Follow our rules in communicating with any man in any circumstances, and your efforts will pay off handsomely: you will get a guy who is crazy about you!

Are you tired of men texting you, following you on Twitter or texting you on Facebook but not asking you to date?

Have you heard of the Rules but have little idea how to apply their secrets to today's technology?

Are you fed up with casual hookups, "just sex" and being alone on Sundays and Valentine's Day?

Do you wonder how women who aren't nearly as beautiful, smart, or cute as you are getting married and you can't seem to get it?

Do you suspect that you are doing something wrong, but have no idea what exactly is wrong?

If your answer to any of these questions turned out to be yes, then you are reading exactly the book that you need! We wrote it because getting and keeping a guy isn't taught in high school, college, or even graduate school. Women, young and old, including our clients and acquaintances, begged us to write another book that would touch on more recent forms of communication. Even mothers of young girls have written to us asking how they can help their daughters!

We've created this updated version of The Rules to tell women how to win the heart of Mr. What-To in the new world of dating and love. But the fact is that the old Rules are still in play! We urge you to read or at least review the first edition in addition to this one - some of it may seem slightly dated to you, but the spirit remains the same. Of course, in 2014, nuances appeared, the existence of which in 1995 was out of the question! We have included in the text of this book a number of Rules that appeared in our previous book, but we have made updates to them that correspond to today's world of dating. In addition, we have compiled a small guide to the most important Rules to remember - "Twenty Rules, which it is not harmful to repeat."

But before you can follow the Rules, you must understand that men and women are different. This statement may come as a bit of a shock, since you've been brought up with the notion that they're equal and that women can do whatever they want. Yes, we can become doctors and lawyers and earn as much money as men, run a marathon and get elected to prominent positions in politics! All this may be true - but women cannot play the role of hunters in romantic relationships without the risk of eventually being rejected, offended, or even inconsolable.

In a romantic sense, men and women are not the same. They need a challenge, and we need security. You know, one of the men we interviewed while researching this book said, “I could never be a woman—you talk too much about relationships!” lol! And there is. A girl receives an SMS or an email from a man she likes and immediately sends it to her five girlfriends “for analysis”. The guy gets a text, thinks about it for a second or less, and then continues to watch football. Long live differences!

Here's another point you need to understand: men are very visual and can't be attracted to a girl just because she's cute, smart, or funny. They instantly understand if they like a woman. It may sound unpleasant, but physical attractiveness for a guy is everything.

He will never be able to love your soul if he does not love your appearance, so your attempts to initiate contact are a waste of time.

You may not be "his type" and he will eventually leave you for a girl who he is physically attracted to. And vice versa: although every woman also has her own type, she is able to gradually fall in love with a cheerful or successful man. But for a guy, this is simply unrealistic! Girls are more emotional about love, and a fan can conquer them with his personality, while most men are simply not able to ignore appearance. Here is another difference in the "device" of women and men!

Knowing these differences between the sexes will help you keep the Rules (gain your worth), because that's the secret way to get a guy: be a difficult task for him. A man can easily get bored, and if you want to be a desirable "prey" for him, do not show much interest in him. Treat him almost the same as you would treat a guy you don't care about! As we wrote in our previous book, don't talk to a man first, don't ask him out, don't accept last-minute dates, don't date him too often, and don't date him endlessly without commitment. Here are the main rules for the dating world!

So why did the New Rules appear and why did they appear right now? Facebook, text messaging, and other social technologies have made it virtually impossible for women to be elusive and mysterious. Each of them is inseparable from its cell phone, and men can get through to her in the morning, afternoon and evening. Where can I play hard to get here! The question is, how can a woman keep the Rules in these new circumstances?

We were talking to a new client who had recently graduated from college, and the girl complained about how difficult it was to follow the Rules now that we were all so easily accessible. She said that she had already learned not to call men and not to date them. And the Rules for Online Dating helped her learn not to contact a guy by looking at his profile or responding to any emoji. But SMS, Facebook, Twitter and Skype confused her. She wasn't sure the Rules applied to them, and if they did, how? She has so many questions! Is it okay to text a guy first? If you have to wait before replying to his message, how long, and after what point, does a proper pause turn into ordinary rudeness? Are there new Rules for all these innovations? You know, she said, technology has changed a lot since your previous books came out: now girls do not get out of text messages and see nothing wrong with “friending” guys and “tweeting” on Twitter all day long. So what will all this mean for a girl who follows the Rules?

Then another client called with similar questions, then another, and another, and then our own daughters and their friends started asking us the same questions. Then it dawned on us that we would have to deal with new problems - we knew that we had to write this book! Now everything is different, the pace of life has accelerated - and how can the Rules be applied in such conditions?

We remember how then, in 1995, readers who called themselves feminists scoffed at the proposal not to call men and rarely call them back. And now not calling men first is considered the norm!

Although this book is written for a new generation, nothing has changed in what women expect from relationships. Each of us wants to have reason to believe that the guy loves you for who you are and will take care of you. The rules still apply!

We made the final decision to take on this book when 26-year-old Heather wrote to us about what she considered a life-changing encounter. The day before, she met a very nice guy in an upscale bar. The next day, before five in the evening, he managed to send her three SMS. It made an impression on us. As many as three?! “Yes, I lost my phone,” Heather explained. “And when I found him after work the next day, I found three messages from this guy. First: “Hi, this is Corey, we met yesterday, which makes me very happy. Answer me when you get a chance." Second: "Are you busy tonight?" Third: "Are you free this weekend?" I can't believe he asked me out on a date so soon! He seems to really like me!”

We recommended Heather to answer him that evening: “Hi, nice to meet you too. This weekend is a great idea!” She is should not was to explain to him that she had lost her phone. In this case, Corey could conclude that she had a lot of things to do besides him, and get used to the idea that he would have to catch her and arrange meetings. If you answer a new acquaintance right away, he will decide that this will continue, and the delight of hunting will disappear.

If Heather hadn't lost her phone, she and Corey would probably have been texting all day long. This might have bothered him, and he would hardly have asked her to meet so soon. But the lack of instant access was unusual for him and made him act quickly. The guy's feelings towards Heather were no longer a mystery to her, and she didn't have to guess how he felt or wonder why the SMS marathon race didn't lead to a date! What the New Rules can do for you is akin to periodically “losing” your phone for a couple of hours. This will help you create an atmosphere of mystery and make the guy crave meeting you, which is a rarity these days.

In addition, we felt compelled to write this book for another reason. Many women who used The Rules to get married 20 years ago want to see their girlfriends, sisters, and nieces in healthy relationships (or at least make sure that men don't hurt them unnecessarily). They want other women to experience the same happiness that they have found by respecting their boundaries and not dropping their self-esteem in relationships with men. Older women who have been divorced and are now trying to rebuild their love lives again, or those who have never been in the right relationship often call us complaining of being confused about having to deal with email, SMS and other new technologies. We would like to help them solve these problems.

In addition, many mothers are nervous (understandably!), not knowing how to feel about their daughters' personal lives, and feeling helpless or out of touch (“She never tells me anything!”). We wrote this book for them too, including a special chapter in which we suggest how to gently help daughters adhere to the Rules. Our Rules for Moms will help encourage young girls to tell them their secrets and ask for advice instead of cutting the older generation out of their lives. We hope that this book will help strengthen solidarity for all women, and especially for daughters and mothers!

Remember, The Rules are an ageless, timeless recipe for romance. Follow them and you'll get a guy who's crazy about you. Break them and you'll have a broken heart.

Whether you are 18, 28, or 48 years old, we believe that all the answers to your dating and courtship questions can be found in this book.

Not sure how to act or how to dress for a date? Read Rule #1 and Rule #2 on how to be and look like a “Girl Different”. Not sure when and how to text a guy? See Rule #6 for our tried and true "response schedule". Wondering whether to pay the dinner bill in half, or how long to Skype, or what to write to the guy on his “wall”? Read the chapters on not buying his love (Rule #19), long distance relationships (Rule #15), and Facebook (Rule #10). We have already written about all this! In addition, we have included special comments from our daughters who grew up with The Rules and can help you apply them to the characteristics of the younger generation and the latest technologies. Sometimes 20-year-olds understand better than older people what is happening to their peers. We felt it was essential that our daughters bring to the book their unique perspective on the dating challenges their age group faces.

If you want to get the most out of this book, don't just skim through it once—read it and reread it over and over again. Study it like a textbook. You may even find it necessary to underline individual sentences that will help you memorize each Rule. You may decide to meet regularly with other right-minded friends to collectively discuss this book and consider your personal problems and our answers: because together we are strong! You may find it necessary to rip out a couple of the most important pages and put them in your bag so you can quickly skim through them in the "ladies' room" during dates.

So, without delaying things, we present to you “New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls!

Chapter II
Right daughters about the benefits of the Rules

Would we be good girls if our mothers hadn't written this book? Of course yes! Does this mean that we never disagree or argue with them? Of course not. Our mothers never forced this style of behavior on us in our personal lives, but we both support traditional values ​​​​and believe that old-fashioned courtship has not lost its position even today.

Guys should always be the first to seek girls - it works.

The fact that our moms wrote The Rules only adds to our knowledge of the subject, that's all. We ourselves were convinced more than once that girls who hunt for guys (as in real life, as in television programs and films) do not feel very good about themselves and as a result usually find themselves resentful or abandoned.

Our generation can be said to have grown up on SMS, Facebook, Skype, Gchat, Twitter and a whole bunch of other social networks. We know that all this instant communication has made the world of dating and courtship even more complicated and confusing. However, we have seen girls make serious mistakes by scribbling all over a guy's Facebook wall, bombarding him with tweets, bombarding him with text messages 24/7, and even personally observed several severe cases of stickiness that are guaranteed not to end in anything good.

We all know what it's like to fall head over heels in love with some guy and find yourself unable to get him out of your head. Obviously, that's why all the girls only talk about dating and falling in love! Invest your time well and take care of school, work, friends, hobbies, sports, clubbing - not just the guys. Do something that will make you proud of yourself.

Throughout the pages of this book, you will meet our statements on topics that our mothers know worse than us. You will find advice in them: how to resist and not send SMS to a guy; how to behave when your boyfriend goes to study abroad; how things are going with Foursquare; how to invite to a birthday party using Facebook and much more! Our mothers, faced with all this, would not even know where to start!

The sooner you begin to study and practice the Rules, the better. We have seen a lot in our lifetime broken hearts and would not want one of them to be yours!

Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider

New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls

We are not licensed psychologists, psychiatrists or social workers, and rules We are not conceived as a replacement for psychological counseling. This is simply a philosophy of personal life based on our own experience and the experience of thousands of women who have turned to us for advice and help.

Chapter I Why We Wrote This Book

Does it happen that your mother or another relative, friend or acquaintance is perplexed: “Oh, you are so beautiful, smart and sweet - why don’t you have a boyfriend?” And you seem to be speechless, because you also cannot explain this and do not understand what your mistakes in the field of dating and personal life are.

Today, women can do anything - graduate with honors, climb corporate ladders, and even race for the presidency of the United States. But to make a man invite you to meet or take on any obligations is an almost impossible task! Alas, we know why most beautiful, smart and pleasant women do not have their “half”: they either chase men themselves or show excessive enthusiasm when they make the first move!

So our rules- this is such a way of communicating with any man (provided that he first started a conversation with you, in person or on the Internet), thanks to which he becomes obsessed with you and is ready for a serious relationship.

Yes, it's all about getting your own worth: men love challenges and lose interest when the object of this interest - and especially a woman - gets them too easily.

Our book became an instant bestseller and was translated into 27 languages ​​because men are the same all over the world! We have visited almost all radio and television programs, preaching our "gospel of the hard-to-reach." We launched our phone and email consulting business and created the free Rules Network, helping thousands of women set and maintain their boundaries in courtship to boost self-esteem, find love, and get married.

Now we want to help you succeed in your personal life too by dedicating our time-tested secrets that are applicable in all situations, no matter what you deal with - SMS messages, Facebook, instant messengers or Skype. Follow our rules in communicating with any man in any circumstances, and your efforts will pay off handsomely: you will get a guy who is crazy about you!

Are you tired of men texting you, following you on Twitter or texting you on Facebook but not asking you to date?

Have you heard of the Rules but have little idea how to apply their secrets to today's technology?

Are you fed up with casual hookups, "just sex" and being alone on Sundays and Valentine's Day?

Do you wonder how women who aren't nearly as beautiful, smart, or cute as you are getting married and you can't seem to get it?

Do you suspect that you are doing something wrong, but have no idea what exactly is wrong?

If your answer to any of these questions turned out to be yes, then you are reading exactly the book that you need! We wrote it because getting and keeping a guy isn't taught in high school, college, or even graduate school. Women, young and old, including our clients and acquaintances, begged us to write another book that would touch on more recent forms of communication. Even mothers of young girls have written to us asking how they can help their daughters!

We've created this updated version of The Rules to tell women how to win the heart of Mr. What-To in the new world of dating and love. But the fact is that the old Rules are still in play! We urge you to read or at least review the first edition in addition to this one - some of it may seem a little dated to you, but the spirit remains the same. Of course, in 2014, nuances appeared, the existence of which in 1995 was out of the question! We have included in the text of this book a number of Rules that appeared in our previous book, but we have made updates to them that correspond to today's world of dating. In addition, we have compiled a small guide to the most important Rules to remember - "Twenty Rules that do not hurt to repeat."

But before you can follow the Rules, you must understand that men and women are different. This statement may come as a bit of a shock, since you've been brought up with the notion that they're equal and that women can do whatever they want. Yes, we can become doctors and lawyers and earn as much money as men, run a marathon and get elected to prominent positions in politics! All this may be true - but women cannot play the role of hunters in romantic relationships without the risk of eventually being rejected, offended, or even inconsolable.

In a romantic sense, men and women are not the same. They need a challenge, and we need protection. You know, one of the men we interviewed while researching this book said, "I could never be a woman - you talk too much about relationships!" lol! And there is. A girl receives an SMS or an email from a man she likes and immediately sends it to her five girlfriends “for analysis”. The guy gets a text, thinks about it for a second or less, and then continues to watch football. Long live differences!

Here's another point you need to understand: men are very visual and can't be attracted to a girl just because she's cute, smart, or funny. They instantly understand if they like a woman. It may sound unpleasant, but physical attractiveness for a guy is everything.

He will never be able to love your soul if he does not love your appearance, so your attempts to initiate contact are a waste of time.

You may not be "his type" and he will eventually leave you for a girl who he is physically attracted to. And vice versa: although every woman also has her own type, she is able to gradually fall in love with a cheerful or successful man. But for a guy, this is simply unrealistic! Girls are more emotional about love, and a fan can conquer them with his personality, while most men are simply not able to ignore appearance. Here is another difference in the "device" of women and men!

Knowing these differences between the sexes will help you keep the Rules (gain your worth), because that's the secret way to get a guy: be a difficult task for him. A man can easily get bored, and if you want to be a desirable "prey" for him, do not show much interest in him. Treat him almost the same as you would treat a guy you don't care about! As we wrote in our previous book, don't talk to a man first, don't ask him out, don't accept last-minute dates, don't date him too often, and don't date him endlessly without commitment. Here are the main rules for the dating world!

So why did the New Rules appear and why did they appear right now? Facebook, text messaging, and other social technologies have made it virtually impossible for women to be elusive and mysterious. Any of them is inseparable from her cell phone, and men can reach her in the morning, afternoon and evening. Where can I play hard to get here! The question is, how can a woman keep the Rules in these new circumstances?

(ratings: 2 , the average: 4,00 out of 5)

Title: New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls
Author: Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider
Year: 2013
Genre: Self-improvement, Foreign applied and popular science literature, Social psychology, family psychology, Foreign psychology

About the New Rules. Successful Relationship Secrets for Modern Girls Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider

How should a girl behave in order to marry the man of her dreams? Modern youth have their own opinion on this matter, but is it really true? Or you can fall in love with bad guy and then spend the rest of your life mourning your lost youth, health, and happiness? Indeed, often men, especially today, sit on the neck of women and do not want to do anything.

Every woman dreams of being reliable protection, guardianship, in order to love and be loved, but for this she must behave accordingly. After all, all men are hunters, and a woman is their prey. But a woman should not behave frivolously and accessible, because only weak man, who does not like to fight, but wants to get everything at once, and it’s not a fact that you are his last prey, and he won’t “go hunting” anymore.

There are certain rules that have been in place for many years and used by people from all over the world, including famous show business stars, and these rules are described in the book by Ellen Fein and Sherri Schneider called “The New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls.

Here are clear guidelines on how a woman who wants to make a good impression should behave. young man. In addition, there are happy and sad examples of what will happen if you follow these recommendations and, conversely, behave in the exact opposite of them.

The book "New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls ”has really a lot of useful things, but at the same time these tips seem very simple and self-evident. But there is one "but". It is precisely because everything is so simple that we do not use them in life, because, as you know, we are used to complicating everything, but we simply forget about simple things. In addition, today the world is arranged in such a way that a woman takes the first step.

Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider talk about how to communicate with men not only in real life, but even on social networks, how to write sms messages. For example, sms should not be answered immediately, but after some time. So you will form an opinion about yourself as a busy woman who has much more important things to do than empty correspondence.

There are tips here that are questionable. The authors give recommendations on what you need to inflate your worth. Posting less sentimental posts on social networks, and more about politics and sports. People around you will think that you are a serious person who is interested in important things, and relationships for her are far from the most important thing in this life. But after all, sooner or later, everything secret becomes clear, and then, in some conversation, it suddenly turns out that you understand absolutely nothing about politics, and sport is only for you. beautiful pictures. Therefore, some tips should be approached a little from the other side.

In general, the book “New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls ”Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider will be very, very useful to today's youth, for whom even love today has a completely different meaning. Perhaps this work will help someone change, become really better, but it is important here to really understand its meaning and what it is really intended for. I would also like to note that the book is read very easily and quickly, as the material is presented in a pleasant language with a wonderful sense of humor.

On our site about books, you can download the site for free without registration or read online book"New rules. Successful Relationship Secrets for Modern Girls” by Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and a real pleasure to read. Buy full version you can have our partner. Also, here you will find latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For beginner writers there is a separate section with useful tips and recommendations, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at writing.

Download for free the book “New Rules. Successful Relationship Secrets for Modern Girls Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider

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Description of the artwork «New rules. Successful Relationship Secrets for Modern Girls (Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider)

THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU IF…

You're fed up with pointless Internet texting and one-time dates that don't lead to a serious relationship.

You dated a guy for over two years, but you never got an offer.

You wonder how women who aren't nearly as beautiful or smart or cute as you are getting married and you just can't seem to get it.

WHAT WILL THE RULES GIVE YOU?

Over the 20 years of the existence of The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider, millions of women have been able to experience their absolute effectiveness. They got a relationship full of love and respect, which spilled over into a happy and strong marriage. The New Rules will help modern women:

Communicate via Facebook, Skype, SMS, etc. and at the same time remain inaccessible and mysterious;

Maintain the instinct of a hunter in a man when there are so many “easy prey” around him;

Get married in an age where everyone lives in civil marriages and are reluctant to take responsibility.

Download in FB2, EPUB, PDF formats.

And also read New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls in online mode.

We are not licensed psychologists, psychiatrists or social workers, and rules We are not conceived as a replacement for psychological counseling. This is simply a philosophy of personal life based on our own experience and the experience of thousands of women who have turned to us for advice and help.

PSYCHOLOGICAL BEST SELLERS

Right to left. Why do people cheat and is it possible to avoid cheating

Why do people change? What makes them start second families and develop complex schemes for leading a double life? Esther Perel, a practicing psychotherapist, has worked with hundreds of infidelity couples over the course of 10 years. Her book is a comprehensive study of the desire that arises when looking at the side.

Act like a woman, think like a man. Why men love, but do not marry, and other secrets of the stronger sex

Only a man can decipher the behavior of other men and suggest how to act correctly in various situations. Millions of women around the world trusted Steve Harvey in this matter. Funny and honest, this book is about what men really think about relationships with women.

Smart Wife Rules. You're either right or you're married

Many women manage to catch a man, but how many of them are happily married? In this book, you will find 40 rules necessary to maintain harmony and understanding in marriage. You will receive answers to all your questions, learn how to successfully overcome any conflicts, find a compromise in any dispute and just be a happy couple.

You don't know anything about men

Steve Harvey continues to reveal men's secrets. What to expect from a man when he is 20, 30, 40, 50 years old and more? What to do in a situation where you have been together for a long time, but he still does not make an offer? How to achieve harmony in bed, in the kitchen and in the family budget? The book provides honest answers to these and many other important questions.

Chapter I
Why We Wrote This Book

Does it happen that your mother or another relative, friend or acquaintance is perplexed: “Oh, you are so beautiful, smart and sweet - why don’t you have a boyfriend?” And you seem to be speechless, because you also cannot explain this and do not understand what your mistakes in the field of dating and personal life are.

Today, women can do anything - graduate with honors, climb corporate ladders, and even run for president of the United States. But to make a man invite you to meet or take on any obligations is an almost impossible task! Alas, we know why most beautiful, smart and pleasant women do not have their “half”: they either chase men themselves or show excessive enthusiasm when they make the first move!

This is how the whole story with the Rules began: about twenty years ago, with the company of five friends, we had dinner at a Chinese restaurant on the Upper East Side in New York - the atmosphere is exactly like in Sex and the City (that's just this series then it was not in sight).

So our rules- this is a way of communicating with any man (provided that he first started a conversation with you, in person or on the Internet), thanks to which he becomes obsessed with you and is ready for a serious relationship.

Yes, it's all about getting your own worth: men love challenges and lose interest when the object of that interest—and especially a woman—gets too easy for them.

Our book became an instant bestseller and was translated into 27 languages ​​because men are the same all over the world! We visited almost every radio and television program, preaching our “gospel of the hard-to-reach.” We launched our phone and email consulting business and created the free Rules Network, helping thousands of women set and maintain their boundaries in courtship to boost self-esteem, find love, and get married.

Now we want to help you succeed in your personal life too by dedicating our time-tested secrets that are applicable in all situations, no matter what you deal with - SMS messages, Facebook, instant messengers or Skype. Follow our rules in communicating with any man in any circumstances, and your efforts will pay off handsomely: you will get a guy who is crazy about you!

Are you tired of men texting you, following you on Twitter or texting you on Facebook but not asking you to date?

Have you heard of the Rules but have little idea how to apply their secrets to today's technology?

Are you fed up with casual hookups, "just sex" and being alone on Sundays and Valentine's Day?

Do you wonder how women who aren't nearly as beautiful, smart, or cute as you are getting married and you can't seem to get it?

Do you suspect that you are doing something wrong, but have no idea what exactly is wrong?

If your answer to any of these questions turned out to be yes, then you are reading exactly the book that you need! We wrote it because getting and keeping a guy isn't taught in high school, college, or even graduate school. Women, young and old, including our clients and acquaintances, begged us to write another book that would touch on more recent forms of communication. Even mothers of young girls have written to us asking how they can help their daughters!

We've created this updated version of The Rules to tell women how to win the heart of Mr. What-To in the new world of dating and love. But the fact is that the old Rules are still in play! We urge you to read or at least review the first edition in addition to this one - some of it may seem slightly dated to you, but the spirit remains the same. Of course, in 2014, nuances appeared, the existence of which in 1995 was out of the question! We have included in the text of this book a number of Rules that appeared in our previous book. 1
The main book of authors: E. Fein and S. Schneider. Rules. How to marry the man of your dreams. – M.: Eksmo, 2013.

But they made updates to them that correspond to today's world of dating. In addition, we have compiled a small guide to the most important Rules to remember - "Twenty Rules that do not hurt to repeat."

But before you can follow the Rules, you must understand that men and women are different. This statement may come as a bit of a shock, since you've been brought up with the notion that they're equal and that women can do whatever they want. Yes, we can become doctors and lawyers and earn as much money as men, run a marathon and get elected to prominent positions in politics! All this may be true - but women cannot play the role of hunters in romantic relationships without the risk of eventually being rejected, offended, or even inconsolable.

In a romantic sense, men and women are not the same. They need a challenge, and we need security. You know, one of the men we interviewed while researching this book said, “I could never be a woman—you talk too much about relationships!” lol! And there is. A girl receives an SMS or an email from a man she likes and immediately sends it to her five girlfriends “for analysis”. The guy gets a text, thinks about it for a second or less, and then continues to watch football. Long live differences!

Here's another point you need to understand: men are very visual and can't be attracted to a girl just because she's cute, smart, or funny. They instantly understand if they like a woman. It may sound unpleasant, but physical attractiveness for a guy is everything.

He will never be able to love your soul if he does not love your appearance, so your attempts to initiate contact are a waste of time.

You may not be "his type" and he will eventually leave you for a girl who he is physically attracted to. And vice versa: although every woman also has her own type, she is able to gradually fall in love with a cheerful or successful man. But for a guy, this is simply unrealistic! Girls are more emotional about love, and a fan can conquer them with his personality, while most men are simply not able to ignore appearance. Here is another difference in the "device" of women and men!

Knowing these differences between the sexes will help you keep the Rules (gain your worth), because that's the secret way to get a guy: be a difficult task for him. A man can easily get bored, and if you want to be a desirable "prey" for him, do not show much interest in him. Treat him almost the same as you would treat a guy you don't care about! As we wrote in our previous book, don't talk to a man first, don't ask him out, don't accept last-minute dates, don't date him too often, and don't date him endlessly without commitment. Here are the main rules for the dating world!

So why did the New Rules appear and why did they appear right now? Facebook, text messaging, and other social technologies have made it virtually impossible for women to be elusive and mysterious. Any of them is inseparable from her cell phone, and men can reach her in the morning, afternoon and evening. Where can I play hard to get here! The question is, how can a woman keep the Rules in these new circumstances?

We were talking to a new client who had recently graduated from college, and the girl complained about how difficult it was to follow the Rules now that we were all so easily accessible. She said that she had already learned not to call men and not to date them. And the Rules for Online Dating helped her learn not to contact a guy by looking at his profile or responding to any emoji. But SMS, Facebook, Twitter and Skype confused her. She wasn't sure the Rules applied to them, and if they did, how? She has so many questions! Is it okay to text a guy first? If you have to wait before replying to his message, how long, and after what point, does a proper pause turn into ordinary rudeness? Are there new Rules for all these innovations? You know, she said, technology has changed a lot since your previous books came out: now girls do not get out of text messages and see nothing wrong with “friending” guys and “tweeting” on Twitter all day long. So what will all this mean for a girl who follows the Rules?

Then another client called with similar questions, then another, and another, and then our own daughters and their friends started asking us the same questions. Then it dawned on us that we would have to deal with new problems - we knew that we had to write this book! Now everything is different, the pace of life has accelerated - and how can the Rules be applied in such conditions?

We remember how then, in 1995, readers who called themselves feminists scoffed at the proposal not to call men and rarely call them back. And now not calling men first is considered the norm!

Although this book is written for a new generation, nothing has changed in what women expect from relationships. Each of us wants to have reason to believe that the guy loves you for who you are and will take care of you. The rules still apply!

We made the final decision to take on this book when 26-year-old Heather wrote to us about what she considered a life-changing encounter. The day before, she met a very nice guy in an upscale bar. The next day, before five in the evening, he managed to send her three SMS. It made an impression on us. As many as three?! “Yes, I lost my phone,” Heather explained. “And when I found him after work the next day, I found three messages from this guy. First: “Hi, this is Corey, we met yesterday, which makes me very happy. Answer me when you get a chance." Second: "Are you busy tonight?" Third: "Are you free this weekend?" I can't believe he asked me out on a date so soon! He seems to really like me!”

We recommended Heather to answer him that evening: “Hi, nice to meet you too. This weekend is a great idea!” She is should not was to explain to him that she had lost her phone. In this case, Corey could conclude that she had a lot of things to do besides him, and get used to the idea that he would have to catch her and arrange meetings. If you answer a new acquaintance right away, he will decide that this will continue, and the delight of hunting will disappear.

If Heather hadn't lost her phone, she and Corey would probably have been texting all day long. This might have bothered him, and he would hardly have asked her to meet so soon. But the lack of instant access was unusual for him and made him act quickly. The guy's feelings towards Heather were no longer a mystery to her, and she didn't have to guess how he felt or wonder why the SMS marathon race didn't lead to a date! What the New Rules can do for you is akin to periodically “losing” your phone for a couple of hours. This will help you create an atmosphere of mystery and make the guy crave meeting you, which is a rarity these days.

In addition, we felt compelled to write this book for another reason. Many women who used The Rules to get married 20 years ago want to see their girlfriends, sisters, and nieces in healthy relationships (or at least make sure that men don't hurt them unnecessarily). They want other women to experience the same happiness that they have found by respecting their boundaries and not dropping their self-esteem in relationships with men. Older women who have been divorced and are now trying to make their love lives again, or those who have never been in the right relationship often call us, complaining about the confusion of having to deal with e-mail, SMS and other new technologies. We would like to help them solve these problems.

In addition, many mothers are nervous (understandably!), not knowing how to feel about their daughters' personal lives, and feeling helpless or out of touch (“She never tells me anything!”). We wrote this book for them too, including a special chapter in which we suggest how to gently help daughters adhere to the Rules. Our Rules for Moms will help encourage young girls to tell them their secrets and ask for advice instead of cutting the older generation out of their lives. We hope that this book will help strengthen solidarity for all women, and especially for daughters and mothers!

Remember, The Rules are an ageless, timeless recipe for romance. Follow them and you'll get a guy who's crazy about you. Break them and you'll have a broken heart.

Whether you are 18, 28, or 48 years old, we believe that all the answers to your dating and courtship questions can be found in this book.

Not sure how to act or how to dress for a date? Read Rule #1 and Rule #2 on how to be and look like a “Girl Different”. Not sure when and how to text a guy? See Rule #6 for our tried and true "response schedule". Wondering whether to pay the dinner bill in half, or how long to Skype, or what to write to the guy on his “wall”? Read the chapters on not buying his love (Rule #19), long distance relationships (Rule #15), and Facebook (Rule #10). We have already written about all this! In addition, we have included special comments from our daughters who grew up with The Rules and can help you apply them to the characteristics of the younger generation and the latest technologies. Sometimes 20-year-olds understand better than older people what is happening to their peers. We felt it was essential that our daughters bring to the book their unique perspective on the dating challenges their age group faces.

If you want to get the most out of this book, don't just skim through it once—read it and reread it over and over again. Study it like a textbook. You may even find it necessary to underline individual sentences that will help you memorize each Rule. You may decide to meet regularly with other right-minded friends to collectively discuss this book and consider your personal problems and our answers: because together we are strong! You may find it necessary to rip out a couple of the most important pages and put them in your bag so you can quickly skim through them in the "ladies' room" during dates.

So, without delaying things, we present to you “New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls!

Chapter II
Right daughters about the benefits of the Rules

Would we be good girls if our mothers hadn't written this book? Of course yes! Does this mean that we never disagree or argue with them? Of course not. Our mothers never forced this style of behavior on us in our personal lives, but we both support traditional values ​​​​and believe that old-fashioned courtship has not lost its position even today.

Guys should always be the first to seek girls - it works.

The fact that our moms wrote The Rules only adds to our knowledge of the subject, that's all. We have seen for ourselves many times that girls who chase guys (both in real life and in TV programs and films) do not feel very good about themselves and, as a result, usually find themselves offended or abandoned.

Our generation can be said to have grown up on SMS, Facebook, Skype, Gchat, Twitter and a whole bunch of other social networks. We know that all this instant communication has made the world of dating and courtship even more complicated and confusing. However, we have seen girls make serious mistakes by scribbling all over a guy's Facebook wall, bombarding him with tweets, bombarding him with text messages 24/7, and even personally observed several severe cases of stickiness that are guaranteed not to end in anything good.

We all know what it's like to fall head over heels in love with some guy and find yourself unable to get him out of your head. Obviously, that's why all the girls only talk about dating and falling in love! Invest your time well and take care of school, work, friends, hobbies, sports, clubbing - not just the guys. Do something that will make you proud of yourself.

Throughout the pages of this book, you will meet our statements on topics that our mothers know worse than us. You will find advice in them: how to resist and not send SMS to a guy; how to behave when your boyfriend goes to study abroad; How are things with Foursquare? 2
Foursquare is a location-based social network primarily designed for mobile devices.

; how to invite to a birthday party using Facebook and much more! Our mothers, faced with all this, would not even know where to start!

The sooner you begin to study and practice the Rules, the better. We have already seen a lot of broken hearts in our lifetime and would not want one of them to be yours!