Forget the person you love the advice of a psychologist. How to quickly forget the person you love? Is it possible to fall out of love with a divorced wife

Everyone can face a situation where you need to change your usual way of life, parting with your loved one. Breaking up is not easy, just as hard is to stop thinking about past relationships.

Often thoughts and experiences interfere with work, household chores, and moving on. In this case, the advice of psychologists can help.

How to forget the person you love, but he does not have you?

Before you start reading the tips, you need to understand that it will not be easy to deal with the problem. Tips will help only if you are serious about getting rid of the oppressive state.

Some people find it easier to close in on themselves and cherish the unfulfilled for the rest of their lives. They always complain about injustice, about the fact that nothing helps to forget a loved one.

The truth is that such people themselves do not want to forget it, blaming the wrong psychologists, environment, family for this. Therefore, the mood to find a way out of this situation is an important point.

The next thing psychologists advise you to do is to think about your future behavior.

What can't be done?

You should not go on about your thoughts and make decisions on emotions. Since they can not drown out the pain, but only increase it.

If your heart is broken, don't:

• dive into depression rethinking what happened over and over
• Try to hurt yourself, think about suicide
• Spoil relations with family, relatives
• Find a replacement for your loved one as soon as possible

These actions will not bring anything good, except for the negative. You don't have to waste a minute on them. Instead, psychologists advise starting to change habits.

Change for the better: three easy steps

A change in lifestyle will help you relax. First of all, it concerns the things of the departed person. It is not necessary to throw them away, just put them in a closet or put them in the attic.

It is advisable to ask friends and acquaintances not to mention. If they consider this an occasion for jokes or bullying, then you need to think about changing the environment. With new friends, new experiences will come, and there will be no time for sadness.

Also, you do not need to go to places that can remind you of the past and purposely look for meetings with the former (her). It will only hit your feelings harder.

You can also change:

• Hairstyle. Get another haircut, dye your hair in bright color contact a stylist
• Clothes. Buy an expensive branded item, about which there were many dreams. Throw away the old worn out business suit and replace it with a nice new one.
• Hobbies. Sign up for computer courses that were interesting at school. Do dance, yoga, Pilates.
• Food addictions. Start eating right or go on a diet. Rejoice in loss excess weight and improved digestion.
• Communication habits. Spend more time with your family, visit your grandmother, send a postcard to your sister.

By engaging yourself in something new, it will be easier to get rid of bad thoughts. You can even take a vacation and go on a trip or vice versa to work overtime.

If you had an old dream, it's time to make it a reality. Whether it's buying a pet or writing a cookbook.

In other words, all free time should be directed to interesting activities. But what if the image of a loved one does not come out of your head? How long does it take for this to pass?

Time cures?

How many times in one's life one has to hear about the miraculous effect of time. They say that it puts everything in its place, heals spiritual wounds, gives a lot of opportunities. Can time help to forget a loved one? The answer of psychologists is unambiguous - it can.

Of course, in the early days it seems ridiculous. Pain, despair and disappointment override the voice of reason. Bad thoughts are spinning in my head, and my heart seems to be broken into millions of pieces. Even new hobbies do not help.

In this case, you need to stop focusing on the same thing. You can do this with a pen and a notebook:

• We take a notebook and on the first sheet we paint every day until the end of the week
• Below them we write what we want to do at this time.
• At the end of the week, we open a notebook and write down what we managed to do and what we didn’t.
• Then we write that all this happened without the participation of a loved one, that you were able to live for a whole week and did a lot of useful things in the past

You can keep such a diary until you feel relieved and realize that life does not end with one failure.

Soon you will realize that you are able to achieve a lot and it is unwise to spend time on sadness.

However, if love was unrequited, you need to act a little differently.

Unrequited love

If, you can not impose or persecute a person. You need to realize that he does not accept you, does not appreciate you, and will never accept you.

You won’t be able to forget him right away; at first, viewing his social networks will help. Over time, you will realize that he is happy without you and is not worth the tears and nerves spent.

In addition, you can forget a person with the help of conspiracies and prayers.

Word magic: conspiracies and prayers

Sometimes waiting a long time to forget a loved one, there is simply no strength. Changes in life save, but thoughts still return to him.

Then you can try to say a special conspiracy or prayer. This method will work if you really believe in its effectiveness.

Conspiracies to forget a person with whom you will never be together

With a candle

The next conspiracy needs to be pronounced and think about how light you will feel when you become indifferent to the object of your love.

For a conspiracy, you need to go to church and buy 13 candles. Already at the exit, turning back, say: “I give all my longing and sorrow to this place, let all my spiritual wounds go away. Amen!".

All the way home, think about a happy life without a loved one. Light candles at home and, looking at the flame, imagine a thick brick wall between you and your beloved (oh).

Next, proceed to the second part of the conspiracy: “It will be as easy for me as it always was before. I do not accept any suffering, I save myself from all problems. The flame will burn everything bad in the soul, it will cleanse the memory of bad thoughts. Everything will work out exactly like this. Amen. Amen. Amen". Repeat several times, then extinguish the candles and discard.

During a conspiracy, you can burn a picture of a loved one, if any. The ritual should be repeated after 13 days.

With photo

For this plot, you need to take a photo of a person and turn it 180 degrees. Set it in this position next to a piece of brown bread. Look at the photo and say:

“Servant (a) of God (s) (name), remain in this form.

Bread is black, lie down and not stale.

Memories leave and don't come back.

So that I, the servant (a) of God (s), forget (a),

How life has taught me

What I used to be (a).

So strong is my feeling for the servant of God (her) (name),

Which I will forget and let go. Amen".

After that, crumble the bread and throw it to the birds. You need to repeat the conspiracy for a week once a day.

Simple conspiracy

This is the one for which you just need to go outside with the onset of night and look for any star in the sky. Looking at her, you need to say:

“That star is so bright. It burns high in the sky and does not think of disappearing. As soon as the sky begins to brighten, that star will leave and go out forever. So my feelings burn and do not want to go out. I wish that morning would come in my life, and all feelings would disappear from my soul, as if the stars went out in the sky.

Let this love, which is alien to me, let me go. May I be open to new feelings. As new stars in the sky light up every night, so new feelings will light up in me. So be it. Amen".

This conspiracy has great power, so one pronunciation is enough for it to take effect.

Prayers

You can pray before going to bed for several days until you feel relief. To do this, say:

“The dawn calmed down and left,

So I, God's (th) servant (a) (name), would calm down (lass),

By (name) did not grieve (a),

Didn't cry (a), didn't yearn (a)

Neither at night, nor in the morning,

Not today, not in the evening.

My tears wouldn't shed

My torments would subside.

My soul would not suffer

The zealous heart did not tremble.

A star has risen to the sky

The longing for (name) would subside.

God help me,

God bless.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Now, forever, forever and ever. Amen".

You can use old prayers taken from your grandmother or mother. Pray to several saints, tell them about your grief.

You can also pray in your own words. Invest in your prayers everything that you lack, talk about how tired you are torturing yourself with vain hopes, how you want to find peace and happiness.

Remember that conspiracies and prayers will work if they come from the heart.

Hello dear readers! Relationship breakdown, for both women and men, never goes unnoticed. Pain, suffering, depression, regret, stress are the feelings that everyone has to experience after parting forever with the person you love. Many begin to see the world exclusively in dark colors, avoid communication with other people, abandon hobbies, in the worst case, quit their jobs and start drinking alcoholic beverages, trying to erase their ex or former lover from their memory. However, this usually does not help. Suffering and falling into depression, you will not return the one you love, moreover, you can easily ruin your own life completely. Today I will tell you how to forget a loved one, three simple steps that you need to take so that the world sparkles with bright colors again, and joy returns to your life again.

Getting rid of the past

Break up with everything that connected you with your loved one, that reminds you of him. Remove number from mobile phone, so that you do not have a desire to call and stir up a storm of emotions and feelings again, remove from friends on social networks. A very important note: delete and no longer visit the page, constantly checking for new photos, statuses and online time. Gather courage and throw away all your common photos, gifts that were given to you by your soulmate, or, in extreme cases, put them in a box and send them to the far corner of the closet or in the attic. You can also donate things to those who need them. A teddy bear, even if you like it, will be very happy with the neighbor's first-grader girl, donated books can be donated to the library ...

For the first time after parting, do not visit places where you have often been together. The first kiss happened in this park, and here on the embankment you walked all night until morning and counted the stars ... Memories will come to life with renewed vigor and bring suffering. Therefore, change your usual routes and visit new places. It is quite possible that this is where you will meet your new love.

Here's another one good method, tested by many people who suffer from unsuccessful relationships and want to remember their passion less often. Write a list of negative qualities in your significant other that annoyed you. Include everything down to the smallest detail and re-read during the next bouts of the blues. The effect is guaranteed.

Do not start conversations about the person you are still attracted to with sympathetic colleagues or acquaintances. Most often, people love to gossip, and they don’t care about your feelings. If you want to talk about a sore point, open your soul to your best friend or parents, who will certainly sympathize and be able to give good advice and not secretly gloat or pass gossip about you.

In order to stop thinking about a loved one who betrayed even if you see him every day, you need to pay attention to the advice of psychologists who recommend that you should not:

• To entertain oneself with hopes and build illusions that the chosen one or the chosen one will understand their mistakes, repent and return;
• Humiliate yourself and ask for forgiveness if you know for sure that the relationship has exhausted itself;
• Look for meetings or call to re-find the relationship;
• Demand to pick up their things, the person will do it himself;
• Find out the details of his new life through social networks, mutual acquaintances or spying under the windows of the house;
• Come up with cunning plans on how to spoil the new relationship of your former chosen one or chosen one;
• Spread gossip about this person;
• Trying to forget about the relationship by using alcohol, drugs, cigarettes;
• Throwing yourself into the maelstrom of random love affairs, you will not achieve anything with this, except for an even deeper spiritual wound;
• Constantly being alone, listening to sad music and feeling sorry for yourself.

We radically change ourselves and our own lives

Even after doing all of the above, many people cannot get rid of their old feelings. But this was only the first step towards a new happy life. What else needs to be done to understand how to forget the person you love, but he doesn’t have you? Having destroyed the reasons for the memories of him, you need to change yourself. How exactly?

1. Some people stop caring about their appearance after a breakup. But it is at this moment that you should be more attractive than ever. Gain courage and change your hairstyle, dye your hair a different color, get a tattoo that you have long dreamed of. Life will start to change better side once you start improving yourself.
2. Change the style of clothing, buy a new desired wardrobe item or accessory that will give you confidence in your own attractiveness.
3. Sign up for gym to tidy up the figure and get rid of depression.
4. Find a new hobby, take a driving course, learn a new foreign language. By doing this, you will be a little distracted from sad thoughts and will be able to acquire new skills or knowledge.
5. Travel to a country that you have long dreamed of visiting. Travel is one of the best means to heal emotional wounds and meet new interesting people.

Go to university or find a new job. Favorite activity perfectly distracts from gloomy thoughts about the past. In addition, you can meet like-minded people.

Change your place of residence or move to the other side of the city, if you have such an opportunity, to completely change the situation.

Reconnect with old friends and people you care about more often.

Take a closer look, perhaps in your environment there is a person who is even worse off than you. By helping and supporting him, you will slowly begin to forget about your pain.

New love

If you listened to these tips, you will surely change in positive side both externally and internally. Your situation no longer seems to you as hopeless as it used to be. Now is the time to start the last and most exciting step... In order to quickly forget a person, you need to find a replacement for him. Of course, some may say that they can't think of anyone other than their ex-partner. But there is no point in moping and dwelling in the past all the time. It's time to start a new relationship with a person who will treat you with due respect, care, attention, that is, truly love you. Strike up a conversation with an attractive stranger or stranger on social media. networks, give a chance to a colleague at work, perhaps your friends will set you up with a new love. The main thing is not to withdraw into yourself and be ready for cardinal changes in your life, and soon they will come.

Having met your soul mate, listen to some useful tips:

• Be open to new relationships;
• Never compare him or her to a former partner;
• Try to avoid places where you used to be with your past love so that the memories of those relationships no longer return to you;
• Try to avoid the mistakes you made in past relationships. You had time to analyze everything in detail and draw certain conclusions;
• Do not tell your current passion about past suffering.

Hope you can let go of your past love and start new life, much better than before. And having met him or her on the street, perhaps with a new chosen one or chosen one, you will simply smile and mentally wish happiness. Always yours, old ladies' man Pantelei.

As always interesting video on this topic. Do not miss!

Moving on after the end of a serious romantic relationship can be an ordeal that may take some time to recover from. That being said, knowing how to work through the pain of leaving a loved one can open up new possibilities and make it easier for you to heal.

Very few people find their perfect match without concentration and a certain amount of flexibility. After all, breaking up is an unfortunate reality of life until you find your mate.

Consider 3 simple steps on how to forget a loved one after parting with him.

Love is like war.
Easy to get started...
It's hard to finish...
Impossible to forget...

How to forget the guy you love?

Unfortunately, life is an extremely cruel thing that throws people off the cliff of hopes and dreams, plunging them into the darkness of sorrow and sadness. If you also went through this hell, heard such painful words about parting, cried all the pillows and still can’t enter the normal rhythm of life, you need to help you figure out how to forget the guy you love.

Believe and understand - no matter how strong love is, it is not worth self-sacrifice, and if a person left you, then this is not yours, then in the future you have a fateful meeting with that one and only, you just need to pull yourself together and pull yourself out of the quagmire of bad thoughts.

Don't be alone

Broke up with your boyfriend? Well, now you can pay maximum attention to your girlfriends! Walk with them, go to cafes, discos, and don't let your bad mood spread to everyone in the area, because you have to throw all your strength into forgetting your former love.

If they don’t call you, call yourself, arrange meetings, also remember those people whom you haven’t seen for several years, because it’s always nice to plunge into other people’s stories and problems, and leave your own behind. You should not have time to think, not a single free minute at home, so that bad thoughts do not even have time to visit your head.

Psychologist to help

If you really want to know how to forget a guy, contact a psychologist - he will listen to you, help you figure out the problem and possible reasons parting, will help you understand yourself and will try to direct you in the right direction.

If you don’t want to lie down for days and quietly cry into your pillow, but you really want to forget your lover and live on, then it’s better to trust a psychologist - he will adequately assess the situation and become an indispensable assistant for you.

Perhaps you have noticed more than once that it is much easier for a stranger to lay out your whole life than for your own, and after your relationship with a guy is over, you undoubtedly need to speak out, and in the face of a psychologist you can find wonderful “free” ears who will not only listen, but also suggest a move further action dissuading you from thinking how to take revenge on an ex-boyfriend.

Find his flaws

And you can be disappointed in a person for one wrong deed: you didn’t intercede, didn’t offer help, forgot, didn’t take an interest in health, walked with another, hid calls and SMS, didn’t appreciate your efforts and efforts, took love for granted, simply didn’t know how to maintain order.

The whole person consists of shortcomings, you just need to get to the bottom of every little thing and understand that the guy is not God, and not love him much more reasons rather than suffer for it.

To work with the head

But now it's time to find a job for yourself or go to cutting and sewing or embroidery classes, or to the karate section, where you have long wanted to enroll, it's time! new hobby, new job, new people, new communication - this is exactly what you are missing now!

You should occupy yourself so much that it seems that at least 30 hours are not enough in the day - then you would have done everything. This is how day after day, month after month, will fly by, and we all know perfectly well that time heals - it really helps wounds heal and deep scars heal.

New love is the best replacement for the old one

You will fall in love again, and perhaps the new person will become exactly that support in life that will never let you fall into the abyss of tears and grief of parting. However, remember that when you are waiting for love, it always passes by and looks into your house when you least hope for it!

Step 1 - Deleting Reminders

1. Remove all ways to contact your loved one

This can be difficult to do, but if you leave yourself the opportunity to connect with your ex (or ex) in moments of emotional weakness, then this may be a sign of addictive behavior.

2. Get rid of physical reminders

• You don't have to throw everything away, but you do need time to keep these items out of your sight before you can move on with your life.
• Why not put in a box, anything that reminds you of the other side of your former relationship, and not to remove this box somewhere out of sight, and out of my thoughts?

3. Make plans for shared "special" days

Did you go to the cinema together on Mondays? Reach out to friends, and find something to do on Monday evenings while you tune in to single life.

• Organize a party, picnic or dinner with friends to fill lonely evenings with laughter and good times.

4. Cut off your contact with your loved one in all social networks

Even if you hope to maintain friendly relations with this person later on, understand that you need time before you can let her (him) back into your life.

5. Say goodbye in a way that works for you.

You don't need to send such a letter, the mere act of writing your feelings down can create the relief you need.

• Another method that may be helpful is to mentally acknowledge your feelings to this person.

  The simple act of releasing emotions can speed up the healing process.

Step 2 - Let the love go

1. Take time to understand that everything in life passes.

Breaking up a relationship is always difficult, even if you are the one who initiated the end. But it's important to recognize that life goes on and that the pain you feel is a natural part of human grief and the healing process.

• Each person needs a different length of time to deal with strong emotions. Be respectful of the time it may take you to make this emotional change.
• Although healing is very individual, some studies estimate that it can take you up to 11 weeks to feel completely free of the powerful emotions associated with your romance.

2. Start a new project or hobby

Now that you're not in a relationship, it's time to find what makes you happy again and do it.

• Go in for sports and enjoy the associated mood lifts.
• Use art as medicine, which can be especially helpful if you find it difficult to put your feelings into words.
• Get a pet or plant. Having something alive that depends on you can make it easier.

3. Join an interest group

partnerships in new group can be a source of strength during a difficult breakup.

You can think about the following types group activities:

• Gardening groups in the local community.
• Community trash pickup
• Local sports teams
• Board game groups.

4. Learn to distinguish the imaginary from the real

Try to understand where you allow yourself to believe in something unrealistic, such as when you tell yourself that you will never find love again.

• Think of the other side of your former relationship in terms of the positive past feelings you had. Separating what was from what is can change your negative feelings for the better.

This will help you let go of your love, and make it easier to repeat the negative emotions that often accompany a breakup.

6. Use your logic

Even though you may be reluctant to blacken the good memories you hold, it can still help you focus on the healthier state you are in.

How can you get over the fact of a breakup? Only looking ahead is a long way to what will help you feel better.

• If your ex love was really good man be glad you had the opportunity to meet each other. Remember that everything that happens in life has something to teach you.

Rethink your personal philosophy. Are you a person who gives in to negative emotions? Will you allow the former partner in your relationship to continue to use this emotional control even after the breakup?

Realize your own emotional responsibility in this issue; you shouldn't always blame your ex for the breakup.

Step 3 - Get on with your life

1. Learn from your previous relationships

Remember that there is always love to give and there is much you can do to enrich your life.

Discuss with yourself where you were before the relationship started and how you grew while you were together. The powerful connection between absorption, memory, and the mood benefits you get from new knowledge will help you deal with lost love.

Ask yourself:

• What would I never have done before this relationship that I can now do thanks to them?
• What was the strength of my former partner? Can I learn this or develop these abilities in myself?
• What have we achieved together that I would never have achieved on my own?

2. Make a list of things you've always wanted to do

By making such a list, you will not only see how much life has to offer you, but you will also set some goals for yourself that you can work towards in the near future.

• Think about trips you could take alone instead of two. Now is the right time to travel!
• Sign up for courses that you didn't have time or energy for during your relationship.
• Challenge yourself, for example by entering a chili sauce making contest or a photo contest.

3. Don't stay at home

In addition, a change of scenery has a strong effect on your mood, and the first step of your walk can be the first step towards improving your emotional state.

4. Meet friends, both old and new

Or go outside to make friends. Either way, the joy of a group of friends can affect your own mood.

A good way to find like-minded people is to join a club related to your interests.

Research shows that when you are with friends or with like-minded people, then:

• You calm down.
• Your sense of belonging increases.
• The perception of self-importance increases.
• You get help to overcome challenges.

5. Refrain from talking about your ex.

Take the time to express your appreciation for supporting a group of friends so they don't burn out in helping you get through the loss. Try saying something like:

• "I know that this breakup was especially hard for me, and I feel uncomfortable constantly dumping all this on you. You were so good friends during all this time. I am truly grateful for your support."
• "I'd like to thank you for getting me out of the house last night. I was a bit depressed, but a night out with friends was just what I needed."
• "You have been so patient with me all this time. Thank you. Without you listening to me and giving me advice, this would have been much harder for me."

6. Surround yourself with positivity

Or maybe you plan a marathon of watching shows or movies that have always lifted your spirits.

7. Talk to someone you can trust in serious cases

A psychologist, older family member, friend, or school counselor can help you through this process. Discussion helps relieve stress, get advice, and restore your self-esteem.

Video: How to forget a loved one

How to let go of a loved one

Despite everything, parting must be met as calmly as possible and not let negative emotions ruin all the good things. You need to work on yourself and leave the past far behind.

What does it mean to "let go"?

• The ability to live, taking into account their own feelings and emotions;
• Stop tracking the personal life of the former half;
• The desire to sincerely enjoy life;
• Getting rid of anger in the soul;
• Lack of a thirst for revenge;
• Willingness to meet true love;
• The ability to learn from your mistakes.

How to let go

Mutual decision to leave is the most the best option. Passion and love faded after the lovers slowly got to know each other. The desire to become the best for the beloved is gone. Relationships have become routine and burdensome. Blame for everything monotony, and excessive swiftness. You need to try to remember all the good things that happened, that gave them both joy.

If the resumption of relations is not possible, then the overdue decision to break off relations will not cause any particular pain to anyone, but it is necessary to maintain a respectful attitude and dignity. Disperse calmly, without tantrums and scandal, leaving good memories of yourself and past relationships.

How to behave after a breakup

It is necessary to try to avoid loneliness at least for the first time after a breakup. The desire to be alone with yourself and reflect on what happened is quite logical and understandable. All the consolations and words of others at such moments seem empty and meaningless, and the desire to help is mistaken for unnecessary pity. Nevertheless, it is better to be among people: constant communication will also provide an opportunity to escape from sad thoughts at least for a while.

: Reading time:

How to forget the person you love? - This question is asked by both women and men. Many find it difficult to actually end a relationship while simultaneously letting it go emotionally. How to do it in seven steps psychologist Tatyana Chuvilchikova.

When we are in a relationship for a long time, many unifying bonds and memories accumulate that cannot be permanently removed from memory. The idea of ​​forgetting someone you spent a long time with is absurd in itself. It is impossible to forget your past, but it is possible to begin to experience other, more comfortable emotions and feelings for it.

Yes, not everyone suffers. It also depends on how the relationship ended: whether the partner initiated the break, or whether you yourself decided to part with your lover. If you yourself decide to end the relationship, it will be easier - because you are aware of the reasons for leaving everything in the past. In such situations, it is easier to keep the feeling dignity, satisfaction and confidence.

It is impossible to forget your past, but it is possible to begin to experience other, more comfortable emotions and feelings for it.

It is important to survive parting, to figure out how to forget a loved one, even if he seems to be “the only one”. You need to let go of painful memories and feelings - love, sometimes anger or resentment.

Five reasons to forget a broken relationship:

1. In order not to transfer the remaining feelings to new partners. Do not compare them with the previous one for better or for worse. This greatly interferes with new relationships.
2. To basically be ready to enter into a new relationship. Sometimes, after a breakup, we may not want any more relationships, even if we meet worthy partners. Then we choose to be alone for years, which rarely makes us happy.
3. To stop blaming yourself. And endlessly sort through episodes of your quarrels, scroll through ideas in your head on how you should have behaved differently so that a break did not occur, what mistakes should not be made.
4. To restore self-esteem. The thought may creep in that it is impossible to be together with you. That no one else will be in a relationship with you. This setting can not leave you alone and pretty spoil your life.
5. To just stop suffering and wait for the partner to return.

How to wean yourself from the person you love? I'll try to help you.

These rules must be followed for at least three months from the date the relationship ends. I want to warn you, they only work if you have definitely decided that the relationship is over. Or are you sure that the partner, if he left you himself, will not decide to return. That is, if there are no options for resuming relations.

There is no exact answer to how long it takes to forget a loved one, but after three months of living according to these rules, you should feel relieved.

How to forget a loved one, advice from a psychologist.

1 Avoid alcohol and sedatives

The main rule for the next three months is to completely eliminate any psychoactive substances: alcohol, drugs, sedatives. This is necessary, since substances inhibit the experience of emotions, using them will delay the process, but will not alleviate your condition.

2 Refuse to meet with the object of experience

Cut off all contact with the person you broke up with. Correspondence, browsing pages on social networks, gossip about a former partner from friends and acquaintances, and, of course, any possible meetings.

You need to warn all mutual acquaintances that they should not give you news about the former partner in any way. Let them communicate without you. If you need to transfer some things, ask someone else to do this, it is best if it is a courier, a neutral person.

If you have children in common, arrange a meeting of children with a partner through relatives, so as not to personally intersect. Do not ask the child about all the details and news. How easy and quick to forget a loved one, if you talk about him all the time?!

3 Get rid of things and places that remind you of the past

The third rule that will ease your condition is to completely get rid of things, photos, gifts and other things that may remind you of a relationship. Even if you really like them. Just give or throw away. Even if it's a car, it's worth selling it and buying another one.

You should not visit places - cafes, parks, theaters where you liked to go together. All objects that are capable of evoking relationship memories should be eliminated as soon as you notice it.

4 Breaking Relationship Habits

When we interact closely with a person, we develop habits or rituals that shape the environment of our relationship. These habits will also support the process of recalling memories and feelings. Therefore, any habits that you have formed in a relationship must be eliminated for these three months.

For example: with a partner, you started sleeping on your back instead of on your side. Or you started going to the gym, you started staying up late, you started dressing differently. All these rituals must cease to be followed for the duration of these rules.

5 Eliminate Artistic Images That Cause Sadness

6 Wait to enter into a new relationship

At this time, it is necessary not to enter into a new relationship, no matter how much you would like it. It is also worth excluding casual intimate relationships. Entering into a new relationship during such a period usually does not lead to anything good, and casual relationships will only aggravate the condition. Unfortunately, people are rarely aware of this and use the wedge-wedge kick rule or do it as an attempt to distract themselves.

7 Consider working with a psychotherapist

All the necessary support in coping with the loss of a relationship will also be provided by a psychologist-psychotherapist, who will greatly facilitate the process of complete completion of the relationship. This is necessary so that you do not have any emotional "tails" that could be brought into a new relationship.

Instead of a conclusion

While following these points, do not try to force yourself to drown out feelings, but do not completely immerse yourself in them, do not get stuck in experiences. Remember that relationships are a big, but still part of life, and not the whole life.

The end of a relationship is a loss, the loss of what has been in life priorities for a long time. And, as with any loss, such as death loved one it takes time to live it. You have to go through all its stages - from denial to acceptance.

Even if now it seems to you that you have not lost anything (or maybe, on the contrary, you are extremely happy to be released), as, for example, in the case of leaving a difficult, destructive relationship, this process will start sooner or later. There is not a single relationship in which there would be no affection and something valuable that you received for yourself. Moreover, the presence of such strong feelings for a former partner as anger, disgust, relief from a breakup is an indicator that you have not yet completed this relationship inside yourself.

Don't get stuck in feelings. Remember that relationships are a big, but still part of life, and not the whole life.

To answer the question of how to forget a loved one, it does not matter what specific feelings you experience. Much more important is the degree and severity of experiences. The weaker the experience, the closer you are to the complete completion of the relationship. I can't say exactly when you'll be able to "cool off". In each story, it will be individual, depending on a number of factors: your personality, the relationship itself, how close the person was to you, the duration of contact and the characteristics of parting.

But still, using the list of rules that I have given will speed up the process of living in and letting go of a partner, if this does not happen on its own. It will be easier to get over a breakup using these methods.

Most often, when one has already made plans for his separate life for himself, and for the second, a break in relations becomes an unexpected blow. A so-called “grief syndrome” may arise, which dulls feelings and protects from the colors of life for a long time. Is there an answer to the question: how to forget a person with whom we will never be together, whether to listen to the advice of a psychologist?

How to survive a breakup and at the same time not cross out everything beautiful and bright that was in your past relationship, make your own personal experience with their wealth, and not with a heavy load? Can the pain of separation help you discover your strength and experience the joy of meeting a new person?

“If you want to forget, forget ...”, or how to forget a person with whom you will never be together again

What happened yesterday? How to remember? How to remember?! Ahh, I remember! Bliiiin! How to forget? How to forget?!

Research psychologists

Inability to cope with psychological trauma can lead to nervous breakdowns, and in the future - to the emergence of psychosomatic diseases.

In order to cope with how to forget a person with whom you will never be together, there are advice from psychologists that offer a universal and fairly effective scheme for overcoming the consequences of parting.

Psychologists distinguish three phases, in turn subdivided into 6 stages, which any person goes through when going through a breakup, regardless of its reasons.

1. Revision phase

• denials;
• expressions of feelings;
• after parting;
• stages of dialogue and bargaining.

Denial of the reality of the gap is associated with such emotional manifestations as avoidance, misunderstanding, self-pity. Denial has several options. You can deny the end of the relationship in whole or in part, or you can devalue them, consoling yourself that nothing terrible happened. There is a feeling of understatement, I want to write and continue some unfinished conversation. The person continues to waste energy on false hopes and maintaining non-existent relationships.

For a successful transition to the next level, you need to stop all attempts to return a person and give up hope for his return. Otherwise, you can be stuck in a state of denial for many months and years. Psychologists consider it normal if the stage of denial passes in 3-5 weeks, but it can take up to a year and a half, depending on the mentality and character.

If there is no one to say:
"- Do you remember?"
There is nothing left but to forget.
Valentin Domil

Recognize the right of a loved one to be free

No matter how the period of denial proceeds, sooner or later it will move into the stage of expression of feelings, in which irritability, anger, anxiety and shame come to the fore. At this point, people tend to begin to feel the reality of what is happening. They wonder how to forget a person with whom they will never be together, they seek the advice of a psychologist and very vividly experience all the negative emotions associated with this.

Resentment and guilt, directed both at the culprit of the breakup and at oneself, self-pity, blaming the person who left, searching for the reasons that led to the break, and as a result, meaningless soul-searching are also manifestations of the stage of expressing feelings.

At this point, there is no point in holding yourself back. If an internal ban on aggression is turned on, and the loss is not mourned, then a person can live at this stage all his life. This stage is very important in order to subsequently be able to understand yourself and the situation.

In order not to get completely confused in the storm that will be happening in the soul, you can try to write him a “letter” listing all the claims and unspoken grievances. This well-known technique of psychology, which allows you to let go of the past and start living in the present, helps to look at the situation objectively, not to interpret what is happening and not to finish the situation. When writing a letter, it is important to note the feelings that this or that memory evokes.

At the same time, it is not necessary to send it, but it can be destroyed immediately after writing. Breathing practices such as grounding and centering also help you focus and achieve calmness.

After that, the stage of dialogue and bargaining begins, when you can set yourself a time interval and conditions when it is still possible to resume relations.

The most important thing here is not to relax and not let the process of healing from a painful gap take its course. Because the next inevitable stage is the stage of depression. Its main features are tension, apathy and a sense of helplessness. crowding out own feelings and the removal of one's own pain leads to inner emptiness. At this stage, people often commit rash, stupid and often irreparable acts.

A characteristic feature of the stage is the presence intrusive thoughts. According to statistics, only a tenth of the mental suffering from a breakup is directly related to the impossibility of further close relationships. The remaining 90% are conjectures and fantasies that bring painful devastation.

And in order to cope with these symptoms, you must first understand that these thoughts are an external, hostile force that is trying to plunge into despair. The thought that we accept and begin to think about becomes ours, and we ourselves hurt ourselves. If you try to understand these thoughts, it turns out that the ideas from which they are "collected" contradict each other. For example, many girls think that somewhere there are women who are absolutely and completely happy, do not need anything, they are loved. But such a state of complete satisfaction cannot last indefinitely.

Another example of such ideas: abstract, existing somewhere ideal guy with whom you can be happy forever. This is a big misconception. Everyone has problems. The main thing is not to transfer your past mistakes into a new relationship.

Human memory is a strange thing. She stubbornly keeps what she wants to forget as soon as possible.
Janusz Leon Wisniewski. Irresistible desire for intimacy

2. Disposal phase

As a rule, acute pain has already subsided, a person fully accepts what happened, adapts to new realities.

Conducted internal analysis helps to see the situation as it is, to assess their real and fictional feelings and needs.

Ruthlessly remove from your life everything that in any way reminds you of a former romance: delete all contacts from your phone, SMS messages and shared photos. Throw away all memorable gifts and souvenirs or put them away in a separate box.

3. Separation phase

Psychologists call the separation phase the final phase of the complex process of breaking up relationships. One day there comes a moment when you realize that you can look into the past and no longer feel such strong emotions as resentment and anger.

You feel ready to meet new people, you feel the strength to implement new cheerful plans, hope for a near joyful future. Your self-esteem and self-worth increase. Gradually, new impressions fill life, paint it in new colors. The mention of a former lover and everything connected with him no longer brings mental suffering.

The easiest way to survive a breakup is in excellent shape - change your image, arm yourself with impeccable styling, perfect manicure and makeup. Buy a new perfume fashionable clothes, stylish shoes. Try to visit interesting places as much as possible, at master classes, exhibitions. Learn something new. If you have long wanted to visit a new place, make an exciting journey - the time has come.

Conclusion

Even when feeling pain, we must understand that by making efforts to restore inner balance, it is possible to gain a sense of relief, discover new potential in ourselves and feel the joy and harmony of life. When the heart becomes truly free and open, then you are ready to meet your soul mate.

We hope that our advice will be useful to those who are trying to survive the abrupt end of a relationship. And we'd love to know how you got on with it.