How to forget your ex-wife, lover, girlfriend: advice from psychologists and practical training. How to forget a friend How to forget a best friend who betrayed

Instruction

Soften the shock. Someone prefers to wait out the most acute and dreary time, overeating on chocolate and watching soap operas, someone spends hours playing Internet toys or surfing YouTube in search of love songs. This is normal, but up to a certain point. It's okay if such a period lasts from three days weeks to three weeks. But if it drags on, you need to include willpower and pride: "I'm too good to be smeared like that." Depression must ripen in order to move on to the next phase, when the interest in life awakens, and the person tries to comprehend what happened.

Release energy. When parting, the unfortunate lover falls into melancholy, hates himself or others, shifts the blame for what happened to others. This is also a form, but it needs to be controlled. It is not worth suppressing negative thoughts, driving them into the subconscious. If it hurts, then you need to admit it and feel sorry for yourself. But at this time it is better to be like yoga, tai chi, qigong. Gymnastics for the body will calm the mind and give "endorphins" - natural hormones of happiness and the best antidepressant. If everything is correct, then one day after a workout, the question will arise in my head: “Am I, in fact, killing myself like that?” Life is too good for tears!

Get out to people. Love gives a feeling of emotional comfort, the ability to pronounce your feelings, your inner world. Many lovers become so obsessed with each other that they lose friends. And then they end up in a vacuum. Therefore, it will be useful to focus on those who need your help, do charity work, sign up for volunteers. Warm emotions, tenderness, gratitude will help to cope with the feeling of loneliness. And you can get the usual norm of communication in a new one. It will be very useful to learn a new hobby, to study languages, to finally make your own website. New circle acquaintances and interests will supplant memories of a friend.

Put everything upside down. A month and a half after parting (and some even earlier), it is worth doing the following exercise: write out in a column everything negative that brought the collapse of love, and next to it - draw positive conclusions. For example, "I felt like two weeks" - "But now I'm a level 80 elf, I reviewed all the melodramas and threw all the rubbish out of my room." "He betrayed me" - "He gave me an experience that will save me from a more dangerous situation." We do not suspect that we are benefiting from a breakup.

Understand what is happening to you. Lovesickness is like poisoning. If you get sick and continue to eat poisoned mushrooms, a fatal outcome is possible. It is much smarter to throw out the mushrooms, take a sorbent that draws toxins from the body and lie down. Likewise with feeling. It destroys the mind and soul.

Not all friendships last forever. In fact, there are many reasons that can lead to the end friendly relations. Despite the reasons for breaking such a connection, losing a friend can turn into a rather painful process. Fortunately, there are several ways to help you move on with your life after losing someone who was once an important part of your life.

Steps

Part 1

Don't look for someone to blame. Blaming only breeds anger and does no good. Both you and your former friend are responsible for the breakdown of your friendship, and you cannot control each other's feelings, thoughts, decisions, and actions. Understanding that both of you played a part in the end of the friendship can help you look at the potential reasons for the breakup from different perspectives.

Deal with your negative emotions. You may feel anger, guilt, sadness, or grief over the loss of a friendship. This is completely normal. It is very important that you sort out all these feelings on your own or even with the help of a psychologist. Try expressing your emotions in one of the following ways:

• write about your feelings;
• talk about your feelings;
• pour your emotions into art;
• direct emotions in some other productive direction.

1. Allow yourself to go through this emotional process. You may experience a range of emotions when faced with a loss. It is necessary to allow yourself to sort through these feelings and understand where these emotions come from.

   Ask yourself why losing a friend makes you feel this way. Do you miss him? Do you miss his support? Or maybe you miss spending time together? To come to terms with your emotions, you need to understand why you feel the way you feel.

   Allow yourself to feel the depth of your emotions. Don't try to block out the negative or painful emotions that come with the loss of your friendship. Feel your pain and negativity and eventually you will be able to overcome these feelings and heal.

   Remember that time heals. To heal from loss and move forward, you will need to be patient. Take your time, everything has its time, haste can only exacerbate negative experiences.

   Understand that people grow and change. You are no longer the same person you were when you met your friend, and the friend has also changed since then. Over time, changes occur in all of us, our interests and hobbies change, which in the future may cause disagreements and distance between friends. Realize that this is a normal fact of life and will help you better accept the end of your friendship.

   • Think about who you were when you met your former friend.
   • Think about who your former friend was when you met.
   • Think about how you became friends with this person.
   • Think about who you are now. How have you changed during your friendship?
   • Think about who your former friend has become now. How has he changed?
   • Make a list of significant changes that have happened to you and your friend during the period of the relationship.
   • Read this list carefully and understand that change, while subtle without careful study, is inevitable. Both you and your former friend have changed and, perhaps as a result, you are no longer compatible as friends. Understand and accept this fact without blaming anyone, it will help you move on.

2. Accept that your friendship is over. Accepting this is not easy, but it is necessary so that you can move on in life. Moreover, acceptance of the situation means that you have come to terms with it and no longer torment yourself with “what if” thoughts, do not think about the details of the breakup of your friendship that cannot be changed anyway, and do not fall into depression.

   Part 2

   Focus on other things

   1. Focus on what you can control. Ignore the actions of others, otherwise you risk spending your life analyzing probabilities and what you can’t change. Better try to spend time and energy on your personal activities. This will help you focus on the present rather than living in the past. For example, you can:

      • accept your own emotions and work on them;
      • try to be kind to others, including a former friend;
      • devote more time to friends and family;
      • move on in life.

   2. Cut off all contact with your ex. This will allow you to distance yourself from the person and focus your time and energy elsewhere. You're less likely to think about your old friendship if you stop interacting with your friend. Finally, by ceasing to communicate with a former friend, you will avoid unnecessary negativity between you. For this you can:

      • block a friend's phone number;
      • ignore and/or delete his emails;
      • do not respond to messages;
      • remove from your friends list or block on social networks;
      • avoid personal meetings.

   3. Do something to take your mind off the loss. Go shopping, go to the movies, or go for a walk if you want to take a break. If you think you need a longer session, consider finding a new hobby or devoting your time to helping others. Whatever activity you choose for yourself, it is important to somehow fill your time in order to direct emotions and energy in a positive direction. Here is a list of activities to help you relax:

      • dancing;
      • Music Creation;
      • reading;
      • workout;
      • sport;
      • creative project;
      • volunteering in a charitable organization;
      • teaching others.

   4. Work on yourself. It will take time for you to realize and accept the end of a friendship. While you are dealing with your loss, you need to take care of yourself. Be sure to observe proper nutrition get enough rest in a healthy way work on your emotions and don't isolate yourself. Remember that sometimes you need to put self-care first. You can improve your well-being in the following ways:

      • communicate with friends and family when you are lonely;
      • eat healthy food and do not overeat;
      • spend time alone with yourself for relaxation and recharging;
      • make time for activities you enjoy.

   Part 3

   Connect with others

   1. Share your feelings with someone you trust. Keeping your emotions to yourself will only hurt you. Talk to a friend or family member, someone you love and trust, who will be able to support you even by listening. All of these benefits will no doubt be a huge plus for those dealing with the loss of a close friend.

   • Even if you feel lonely, know that you are not. You have friends and family who care about you.
   • Losing a friend can be an extremely difficult experience. Be kind to yourself and your ex-friend.
   • When you run into your ex-friend, be generous and act like a grown-up. Avoid attacks, humiliation and insults towards this person. He once meant a lot to you, and perhaps still does. Remind yourself why you thought so highly of this person if you feel like saying or doing something rude or cruel.
   • When you remember about old friendship, refrain from negative memories, think about the joyful moments spent with a former friend.
   • Don't say anything negative about yourself ex friend on social media, because it is offensive and puts you in a very unfavorable light.

Good afternoon!

Everyone writes about love, sex, betrayal and the search for the second half ... And here I am with my completely ordinary problem. But I can't handle it myself.

We also had a love triangle. But friendly.

I had a friend A. We were friends with her for more than 2 years. The friendship was wonderful, real. Moreover, we were connected by the fact that we have a very unusual way of thinking, we always dream of the impossible and together we realize our crazy dreams. Everyone twisted a finger at the temple when we told them what we dream about, what we want. At the same time, we have an unusual view of the world, we are both real optimists, and optimists to the point of madness, we are also both creative personalities, we make jewelry, alter clothes, change something in shoes, we love all kinds of postcards, surprises. We were also connected by love for one musical group. We went to concerts together. In addition, of course, they did everything together and knew everything about each other. That is, we were very similar, one was a mirror image of the other in terms of hobbies and worldview.

It is worth talking about another common friend of ours. Was at A before me very good friend S. They had a completely different relationship, constant quarrels, but at the same time they also communicated wonderfully. I was also friends with C, but she was not my best friend. When A started to get close to me, C got very jealous and eventually A and C fell out with a scandal. To be honest, I didn't do anything about it. Moreover, C abruptly stopped communicating with me and even began to hate me, apparently, she considered me a homemaker.

My friend A endlessly told me how unbearable it was for her to be friends with C. In the truest sense of the word, she poured mud on her. Although I convinced her that only good things should be remembered.

Two years have passed.
Somehow it slowly turned out that I stopped communicating with A. There was silence for two months. Then she texted me e-mail. We began to understand why this happened. It turned out that it was unbearable to communicate with me and that I was a terrible person (her words were exactly like insulting words addressed to our old acquaintance C). That is, history repeated itself.

And now, as you may have guessed, I do not communicate with A at all. And she safely returned to S, forgave her everything and now they are best friends.

My problem is that I am offended that A poured a bunch of shit on me, even accused me of what I did not do. Well, why can't you just leave, forget and let go of a person? Why is it necessary to insult him and lower him below the plinth? It hurts me so much ... I loved A very much ... She was my second dear person, my family ...

And probably, now I really want to be pitied, to be told how good I am. But I know that this is not necessary. I just want to figure out if I'm really that bad and forget about everything.

Thank you for reading to the end.

The situation is banal, but maybe someone had something similar, how did you deal with your feelings?

The end of a friendship is a very difficult emotional and psychological stage. Friendship can end due to betrayal or because friends have gone to different cities or become different people. Everyone needs different time to come to terms with the end of the friendship, depending on the length of the friendship, the degree of intimacy, and the reason for ending the relationship. Take your time and take the time to mourn so that you can forget your ex-friend and live a fulfilling life.

Steps

Part 1

Cry if you need to. After accepting that the friendship is indeed over, you may feel intense sadness at the loss of a friend. Crying is a completely natural reaction to such a situation, as it is a healthy way to express sadness. If you don't want to cry, you don't have to. Be that as it may, you must recognize and accept all your emotions.

Go for a walk or exercise. During physical activity The body releases endorphins that make you feel better. You can also breathe while walking. fresh air and soak up the sun to improve your mood.

Discuss your feelings with a trusted friend or counseling psychologist. Talking to someone you trust will help you process your emotions and see the situation from the outside. Your friend or counseling psychologist can help you look at the problem from a different angle and ease the sadness of the end of the friendship.

• If your ex-friend has moved to another city, then you can call your mutual friend, who also misses him. Talk about your ex-friend together to make it easier for you to deal with your sadness. You can say: “Hi, Masha. I'm so sorry that Zhenya moved to another city. I really miss her jokes. Do you miss her too?”
• If you quarreled with ex girlfriend, then call someone you trust to tell them that you are angry and feel betrayed. Share what happened between you, ask for an objective opinion from the outside. For example, you could say, “Natasha and I had a big fight last week. I asked her to return 200 rubles to me, to which she began to scream and claim that I was petty. Do you think asking for my money back is a petty act? Or was her reaction too sharp?”

1. Spend time with other friends. Chat and have fun with other friends to make it easier for you to bear the loss of a girlfriend. If you feel sad at the end of your friendship with a person, then call another friend and ask her to meet with you. Offer to go to the movies, cafes, listen to music or play games. Choose an activity that you really enjoy.

   Meet new people. If you broke up with a friend because you moved to another city, then you just need to find new friends. In a new place, you will quickly feel loneliness. Go to places where you can socialize and meet new people.

   • Look for various activities on the Internet. Residents of many cities gather in interest clubs like board games, knitting or music and arrange meetings on social networks. Search for information that interests you to find out about upcoming events.
   • Get involved in volunteer work. Do community service that interests you. Not only will you meet new people, but you will also be able to learn new skills and have fun.
   • Become a member of a sports team. Parks and gyms often host sporting events that you can take part in. If there are no sports clubs nearby, then there must be basketball courts or football fields where you can play along with the rest, since the players are usually very friendly and will gladly accept you into their team.

2. Do things that bring you joy. Find hobbies, sports or other activities that you enjoy. If you don't know what you want to do, try picking up a new hobby. These can be art and craft projects, sports activities like cycling or kayaking, playing a musical instrument, or making birdhouses.

   Write to an ex girlfriend Farewell letter, which you will not send. Describe in a letter all the anger, frustration, and pain that you are experiencing. List all the reasons why you would miss an old friend.

Breaking up a relationship is a major shock for every person. But men tend to keep negative emotions inside themselves, so as not to show their weakness, and therefore they experience parting much harder than women. Painless efforts to forget your beloved cannot pass, but you can try to facilitate this process and make it faster. Psychology pays Special attention this issue and makes a number of recommendations.

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Five steps to a new life

After parting, reality is presented in a negative light and it seems that nothing good will ever happen in it. Permanent intrusive thoughts about the departed object of love, sooner or later can lead to prolonged depression. Strong feelings cannot be excluded from your life just like that, and pills for pain due to past love have not yet been invented. Drowning grief at the bottom of a glass is also not a way out. But not everything is so hopeless, and there is always a way to forget past relationships.

To cope with the problem, you need to follow a simple algorithm of actions that helps to put an end to the memories of an ex-lover forever:

1. 1. Calmly analyze what is happening.
2. 2. Irrevocably break with the past.
3. 3. Change your attitude to the situation.
4. 4. Change the way of life and thoughts.
5. 5. Be patient.

How to stop loving a girl

Analysis of the situation

At first, it is difficult to realize that life without a loved one will never be the same again. But it’s worth calming down, collecting your thoughts and answering the question of why the relationship still ended. This is necessary in order to avoid similar problems in the future and the newly created union did not suffer the same fate.

If a woman broke off relations on her own initiative, then she had her own reasons for that. But the question arises whether her feelings were sincere or whether she took everything too lightly. When everything is not going smoothly in a couple, frequent quarrels and conflicts occur, then usually loving people they try to settle them without allowing a break and without running away from difficulties.

If, after a period of a long relationship, the former lover chose to leave her partner and find a replacement for him, it means that she considered that she would be more comfortable in a new alliance with another man. In this case, there was no question of any love on her part from the very beginning. It is very difficult to realize this fact, nevertheless, one should not deceive oneself and indulge in unrealizable hopes that everything will be the same. It is impossible to enter the same river twice, which means that it is impossible to return an outdated union. You need to come to terms with this and start building your life further without this person.

There are situations when a man himself did not appreciate his beloved and decided to leave, and then regretted what had happened. During this time, the ex-girlfriend could enter into a new relationship, and the attempts, which has a boyfriend, for the most part end in a hard refusal. In this case, it is worth getting rid of guilt and stop reproaching yourself for something that can no longer be changed. No one is immune from mistakes, because they are an integral part of life experience. The main thing is to get yourself out of this situation. useful lesson and not do the same in the future.



How to forget ex-wife

Let go of the past

It is impossible to erase from memory everything connected with a former lover. And you should not do this, because this is a certain segment of life. But some things reminiscent of the past should be got rid of:

• The first item on the list of irritants are photos of a former lover or joint photos, reminiscent of lived happy moments. You can throw them away, burn them or send them to her - no matter which method you choose, but keeping them in plain sight is undesirable.
• All gifts, souvenirs, postcards, things that are associated with an ex-girlfriend must leave the house.
• The girl's phone number, all messages from her on mobile or social networks must be deleted. It is better to temporarily delete your profiles and change your SIM card so that there is no temptation to call or go to the page in order to read latest news from the life of a former passion.
• It is worth excluding everyday communication with your beloved and limiting contacts with mutual acquaintances, at least for a while.

If the lovers broke up while the man was in the army, then this will only benefit. A clear daily routine and the absence of random meetings will quickly help you erase unnecessary memories and get distracted. But the situation can be complicated by the fact that, by chance, you have to see her every day, for example, if she is a work colleague or a neighbor in the stairwell. In this case, you should not stay alone with your ex-girlfriend, engage in intimate conversations, only a non-binding greeting is allowed. If seeing her every day is unbearably painful, you can change jobs or move.



Change your attitude towards what happened

Here you need to follow the ancient wisdom and change your attitude towards the situation, if it is impossible to change the situation itself. First you need to come to terms with the girl’s decision to end the relationship and force yourself to respect her choice. She had every right to build a life differently and she herself would have to be responsible for the consequences of such actions.

If she no longer loves, this is not the end, but, on the contrary, the beginning of a new happy life. You should not stoop to tantrums, scandals, intrusive calls and harassment, this humiliates the man himself. Under no circumstances should you lose respect for yourself. Letting go of your beloved is a worthy deed that only a strong-willed man can do.

To stop suffering and constantly think about ex girlfriend, as well as restore emotional balance, you need to write a farewell letter in which you should thank her for all the good that she brought to life, for the happy time spent together. Apologize for your mistakes or forgive the girl from the bottom of your heart if the breakup happened on her initiative. You don't need to send a letter. It is necessary to burn it, and scatter the ashes along with it. This simple psychological technique will allow you to recharge your batteries with optimism and prepare for a new a better life.



Change your mind and lifestyle

To begin with, it is worth considering that any attachment arises not to a specific person, but to those emotions and feelings that he gives us. But you can get them from other sources as well. This will help simple tips psychologists:

1. 1. First you need to love yourself, understand your feelings, understand what you need from life. Set key goals and work towards them. This will give you extra strength.
2. 2. No need to dwell on the problem and deprive yourself of fun moments and pleasures. There are many options - go on a trip, go diving, conquer mountain peaks or jump with a parachute. Life should bring joy.
3. 3. Being free is not so bad, now there is more time for your favorite hobbies and hobbies, for relatives and friends, for friends.
4. 4. Going in for sports will improve not only physical, but also moral condition, increase self-esteem.
5. 5. Becoming a workaholic and spending more time at work is a good way to take your mind off negative thoughts.
6. 6. You should pay attention to other girls, flirt, start light affairs. You should not consider the former lover the one and only, no matter how many positive qualities she has, the next one will always come, which can surpass her.

A clear implementation of these simple recommendations will allow you to move on. And if you can’t set yourself up in a positive way, you should contact a specialist. A psychologist will help you understand the current situation, voice a view from the outside, support you in difficult experiences and guide you on the right path.