Stories from real life. Meters are more expensive than kinship: how relatives fight for inheritance “I couldn’t think that the old house would quarrel us”

It so happened that my family has always been mom, dad and grandparents on my mother's side. They lived together in the neighborhood in a village in the region. My father's family lived a couple of hundred kilometers from us, my father talked to them, went to visit, but did not take me with him. Mom said they were a little weird. I never saw my grandmother on my father's side, my grandfather somehow rolled up, bought me a toy. My aunt, uncle and cousins ​​also taxied a couple of times, the rest of the siblings remained behind the scenes.

When I was 20, my father died. At that time, I had long lived in the city in a one-room apartment, which my parents miraculously bought during the crisis of 1998. Part of the relatives came to the funeral, I remember my aunt and uncle for sure, we loaded them with a ton of things, hunting rifles, agreed to communicate and support each other. When their son got married, my mother and I were invited to the wedding. That's where I met the rest of my family. And then it started.

The first call was when my sister and boyfriend came to visit. My girlfriend and I met them, we all went to the store together, bought beer and snacks, and the couple did not invest a single ruble in provisions. Then did not attach any importance to it. Sister has arrived! Of course, you need to drink and feed.

Further into town came a brother, the younger sibling of this sister. He went to study at some military school in the city center and a week later he was hammering at my door. They say that it’s bad in a hostel, it’s impossible to live, a sister lives somewhere with a guy and some other people in a hut, another brother and a girl rent an apartment, there’s no way for them, shelter them for a while! All this confused me, because an acquaintance had previously studied there and everything was ok. But it’s not a question, my relatives went to the school, wrote a statement that my brother would live with me, allocated a bed for him at home and ... hell began.

He didn’t have an alarm clock, he set the time on the TV, in the morning some program started yelling, I jumped up, he lazily woke up and was going to study. At night, you see, I “interfered” with him, sitting at the computer with headphones on. She cooked all the food herself, buying products with her own money. And this despite the fact that she lived then in poverty, having only a pension for the loss of a breadwinner.

For the weekend, the brother went to mom-dad, returning, telling how he ate himself there. His ancestors had their own farm, they sold milk and cottage cheese. At the same time, the brother brought the maximum that he brought from home - a bottle of pinocchio and belyash. I note that these days his aunt regularly visited us, who rode from their village to the city in a car and sold us clothes. Another, already my aunt, kept dofigiska piglets and geese, even if only a piece of meat was handed over. Nifiga. Nobody even called me and was not interested in how we are doing with their boyfriend. Once I was stewing potatoes and was very late for the gym. I asked my brother to stir the food and turn off the stove. He froze, saying that he could not do anything. I freaked out, I did everything myself. I told him something from the opera at parting - I cooked everything, don’t touch the potatoes. She implied that everything was ready, his help was not required. Came back, they sit hungry. I ask what I didn't eat. Answers that I asked not to touch! Hmm. At some point, everything got to me, I started buying food exclusively for myself. My brother began to eat beach bags and bread, which he hid from me in the closet))

At home, he did not get away from the word at all. My friend and I did an experiment once. We left the crumbs on the table and went for a walk. This pretzel just cleared a corner for himself, put a notebook there and “studyed” like that. In general, I also worked as a servant for him.

The apotheosis was the moment when I left and asked him not to answer the phone. They were supposed to call me according to my diploma, I didn’t want to talk. I return, my girlfriend calls, asks what the hell is going on with me, someone picked up the phone, mumbled something and dropped it. I ask my brother what's up. The answer killed me - oh, this is Lenka, before he stopped calling. I didn't even know what to say, just shock.

After a few months, my mom and I decided it was time to end this. I said that a guy was moving in with me and if you please, go out. My brother packed up his clothes, handed over the keys, and took off into the sunset, leaving us huge phone bills. It turned out that he regularly called his mother over long distances, although it was agreed that this would not happen.

When it was all over, my sister started calling me, who all this time lived with us in the same city, but she didn’t care. Aunt's phone also flashed several times on the display. Of course, I didn't pick up the phone. She scored on them. Ten years have passed since then, and I have not seen any of them again. And thank God! Such relatives in the forest!

We had many relatives, father and mother always welcomed everyone, even if others were, as they say, "seventh water on jelly." Because for the holidays and various celebrations a whole gang of people who were unfamiliar to me gathered in the house, who drank and ate for the glory of good hosts. When drunk, they were not averse to pouring out their feelings, talking heart to heart, giving wise advice or guidance. And they were very offended when you did not show proper family feelings for them ... For real, up to a certain point, I was attached only to the closest ones, among whom were my uncle and aunt on the paternal side. They did not live close, they rarely came, we did not go to them, because there was no one to leave the household to. People they were quiet and calm, polite. Their son is five years older than me, Yegor, I also liked him: calm, even quiet, he liked to sit alone and read a book more than with everyone.

I don't know why this is happening, but good people more and more bad things happen. My father and mother thought, talked among themselves, and decided to send me to visit them, almost for the whole vacation. They didn’t consider it necessary to ask me, but what’s there, how could you be offended by your parents, especially since I myself was not against it. They did everything quickly, the next day my parents accompanied me to the train. From my father - strict instructions on how to behave on the train and in someone else's house, from my mother - detailed instructions on what and in what order I should eat from food so that it does not deteriorate on the road. And further:

Look, don’t tire your uncle and aunt, don’t play around. To not blush for you, understand? It’s already hard for them now, Yegorka is gone ... They thought with their father that it would be more fun with you, they need to distract themselves. And about how the son died, do not ask anything if they themselves do not want to tell.

This news, of course, shocked me. Although I already knew in general terms what death is, I had never come across it so close. It's one thing when on a cloudy day you notice a funeral procession and a hearse, realizing that a person is being buried (these two words form a terrible phrase, if you think about it); another, when the realization comes that they are burying a person whom you knew, spoke with him, laughed with him, touched him. And now it’s gone, at one moment it simply didn’t become, as if it had never existed at all. Well, now it's not about that.

At dawn, I got off at a small rural stop where my uncle met me. We greeted him like a man, without any extra sentimentality, we got into his truck and drove along a country road. Uncle Vova, that was his name, did not outwardly show that they were in mourning. He appeared to be in his usual frame of mind; the way I'm used to seeing it. Under the rumble of the engine, he asked questions, more and more about what was new in the family, in the village, and so on. We did not mention the reason for my arrival, pretending that nothing had happened at all. We drove the rest of the way in silence, each in his own thoughts. I think it was necessary to engage him in conversation, to distract him, but I did not succeed, - Uncle Vova answered reluctantly even to counter questions.

Sitting comfortably in my seat, I peered through the foggy glass of the truck into the local scenery. I did not manage to see anything interesting and unusual, and soon I dozed off. When I woke up, we were standing in the middle of the road. Uncle sat behind the wheel and looked through the open window into the distance. In the direction of his gaze, I managed to see only a small lake, overgrown with reeds and tall reeds; the morning mist still swirled over the water, and the dew on the grass shone silver in the rays of the rising sun.

What's there? I asked.

Uncle shuddered in surprise, started the car and answered:

Yes, I thought I saw a roe deer. They don’t happen here, so I stopped to check.

It was impossible not to hear the sound of the truck engine, and my aunt was already standing at the gate, as soon as the engine was turned off. She was dressed in a simple country dress in summer flowers and a white headscarf. Of course, I immediately found myself in her arms. Last time they came to us about a year ago, together with Egor. Not without exclamations and surprises, how I grew up and matured. Maybe it was.

When they entered the house, Aunt Nadia immediately began to fuss, saying that she needed to finish mopping the floors. Indeed, on the floor, here and there, water was spilled, only some kind of muddy-greenish, dirty, somewhere in whole puddles. Also, the mirrors covered with sheets attracted attention. What this means, I found out later. In order not to interfere with washing the floors, my uncle and I went out into the yard.

The sun rose higher and pleasantly warmed the face; a light breeze picked up. Uncle Vova gave me a whole tour of the garden, the role of museum exhibits was played by beds with plants and vegetables, he, with the air of an experienced agronomist guide, told me about useful properties of this or that “exhibit”, about the culture of its cultivation, about the fact that each of them has its own character. I, in turn, listened to his stories with the air of a botanist student striving for knowledge. But it was really interesting, in a way.

Two days on the road were not in vain, in order to restore strength, it was necessary to have a good rest. The first thing I saw when I woke up at about twelve o'clock in the afternoon was a framed photograph of Yegor on the nightstand. From the carefree expression of clear blue eyes became uncomfortable. With a sudden movement, I got up from the bed and left the room. It turned out I was alone. When I looked around the house for interesting things or something that could help pass the time of loneliness, now and then I came across photographs of Yegor.

Uncle and aunt came in the evening, or rather, they arrived, their appearance was announced by the noise of a truck. They went on business to the district center, brought food, some pills. After busying herself in the kitchen, Aunt Nadya set the table. We sat down in the summer kitchen when the sun began to slowly sink below the horizon. Mosquitoes squealed over us in whole hordes, preferring to feast exclusively on my blood, completely ignoring the owners of the house. This fact made me childishly indignant at such unfair selectivity, which, it seems, amused both uncle and aunt. Having soon finished our light supper, we sat in silence and watched the remnants of sunlight spread across the darkening sky, acquiring blood-red hues. Or only I was carried away by this process, and they thought about their own, far from melancholic contemplation, matters. Perhaps it was. Suddenly, my aunt spoke, without changing the direction of her gaze, dryly and monotonously:

You finish your tea, don't get up from the table until the cup is empty...

We sat close to the fence, where the path was street. There was a close sound of footsteps, several people were walking. Unexpectedly for me, my aunt squealed:

Egorka is no longer ours ... So, once, and no ... How to live on, I don’t know. Take care of your parents, do not grieve, in ...

She did not have time to finish, a lump instantly came up to her throat, tears splashed from her eyes. Sobbing, more like a howl, was stopped by Uncle Vova - he quickly took the shuddering wife away, simultaneously asking for forgiveness and wishing me good night.

I myself wanted to cry, from what I saw hysteria I was literally shaking. No wonder, since childhood he was impressionable. After wandering around the yard, I managed to calm down. And yet, the thought of what happened, for what reason Yegor died, was disturbing. From a sudden illness, or an accident? It's kind of weird, I thought. It soon got colder outside, and it was time to sleep, so I went into the house. He made his bed, turned off the light. Pretty soon I fell asleep, comfortably ensconced in the soft and cool bed.

I dreamed of water, dark, even black, a lot of water. She was absolutely motionless, calm. There was not the slightest ripple on its surface; the wind seemed to bypass the water. Occasionally, gigantic clouds resembling the shape of ugly giants would clear the night sky, and for some time moonlight would descend on the lake, further enhancing the terrible beauty of this place. I was here as an involuntary observer, from somewhere above, from the side. Suddenly I managed to distinguish two silhouettes on the water, these are people, they were swimming together. It seems they were a young boy and girl. They were obviously having fun, they were floundering, fooling around. The guy hugged the girl, she jokingly tried to escape. The spray flew several meters away from them, cold drops touched my face. Stronger and stronger, my face became completely wet, water flowed down my body, ice water burned with cold warm skin. The feeling of anxiety grew, it was necessary to wake up, - in vain. Then I felt the touch of icy gloved hands, as if they were wrapping around my neck, tightening the ring. By an effort of will, I managed to escape from this bad dream, on an exhalation I jumped on the bed. He greedily swallowed air, his heart beat furiously, giving a pulsation in his temples. Terrible dream.

Her hair was soaking wet, and so was the bed. As soon as I touched the floor with my bare foot, I felt that I had stepped into a puddle of water. Why is there so much water here? Turning on the room lamp, I went in search of a doormat. Quickly collecting water from the floors, I changed the bed, dried myself with a towel. Trying to find a rational explanation for the phenomenon, I examined every crack on the ceiling, every hole - from somewhere this water leaked! Obviously a pipe burst or something. There was no sign of rain outside. And the water itself was mixed with some kind of dirt, resembling either mud, or the contents of a clogged water pipe. It's strange, you need to tell your uncle if he's awake. How timely someone's shuffling steps were heard! I left my room, went towards the noise, and indeed, it turned out to be Uncle Vova. He stood at the open kitchen cabinet and drank something greedily from a faceted glass.

Why do not you sleep? And why so wet? - my uncle preceded me, frozen with a glass in his hand.

Yes, it was a bad dream. And it seems that somewhere a pipe burst, there was almost a flood in my room, now it seems to have wiped it off, it doesn’t flow anymore, - I answer.

Well, maybe who knows. I'll turn off the water, and we'll figure it out in the morning. Go to bed,” he commanded, furiously pouring out the remaining contents of the glass into himself and striding away.

It was not often that I saw my uncle in such a state: always extremely polite and courteous, now he had the effect of just the opposite. Following his example, I went back to bed.

As soon as my head touched the pillow, I fell asleep. From the first moments I realized that I had returned to the same place from which I managed to escape. The same night on the lake, clouds moving across the sky at an extraordinary speed, moonlight occasionally reaching the water, silence broken by the noise from the lake, in which the two are still. Gradually, the rest of the scenery faded into the background, I could see the young couple more and more clearly. I suddenly felt cold all over my body, as if I had entered the water. The squeals of the girl, the noise from their fuss became more and more voluminous, I again felt drops of lake water on my skin. I could already see the faces. I began to shake from the cold and fright, because the guy is none other than Yegor. Here he smiles, rows of white even teeth are visible. But what did they do, no, it was not a game! Yegor drowned the girl, grinning like a madman, grabbed her head, dipped it into the water, held it longer and longer. All this under Yegor's hysterical cackle. The poor thing tried to break free, but he was clearly stronger. In an instant, I was between them, face to face with this girl. The pale features of her beautiful, refined face were disfigured by horror, she greedily caught the air with a small rounded mouth. No matter how hard I tried to leave this dream by an effort of will, nothing worked. Then Egor disappeared, everything disappeared, the sounds died down, replaced by a growing buzz, from which the ears were blocked. This is heard when you plunge into the water with your head, holding your breath. Time seemed to slow down its pace, each movement seemed to be stretched out for minutes. I saw only that girl, nothing more, she was standing in front of me in the water. Right down to the slightest wrinkle, I observed the changes in her face. The pale tonality of the face, white with horror, gradually changed to a gray tint, pinkish-purple cadaveric spots began to appear on the face, the skin wrinkled, became like a goose, the eyes bulged out of their sockets, became greenish, with the wild horror of perishing life frozen in them ... I saw a drowned woman in front of her, she slowly extended her wrinkled palms towards me, the skin on which was swollen and looked like gloves ...

By some miracle, I again managed to escape from the chains of this horror, but what I saw when I woke up was no less frightening ...

What are you doing?! I cried.

Several candles were burning in the room, and my aunt was standing by the bed, frantically muttering something under her breath.

Uncle sat on the bed, swinging back and forth like a pendulum. When he saw me, he perked up even more. He rubbed his hands frantically and said:

Ah, woke up. Finally! Already met? As you like? Ha ha ha, she's a beauty, right? We give you to her, and she will return Yegorka to us! She came, every night she comes! After all, there is only one blood in you. Painfully stayed up there with her, it's time to go home!

Completely bewildered, I looked from one to the other, trying to catch a suppressed chuckle, they're joking! But with every second, faith in an unsuccessful and strange joke was weakening. I had never seen or imagined that people could be like that before, especially those whom you seemed to know. My feelings and sensations were somewhat strange, I could not focus on any tangible object, my head was full of abstract images, everything was buzzing. With every word they said, I lost touch with reality more and more, the room began to spin, as if in a kaleidoscope. The last thing I remember is rough unfamiliar voices, noise, fuss. Further - a strip of numbness and lack of a clear perception of oneself and everything that is around.

I woke up in a hospital bed at a local hospital. It turned out that some substance was added to my tea, affecting nervous system, paralyzing the will and at the same time enhancing emotional susceptibility. Maybe he did not quite correctly describe his action, but the doctors said something along these lines. Most likely, my uncle and aunt told me something while I was sleeping, which, under the influence of the substance, my brain turned into a nightmare that tormented me.

They saved me by pure chance, one of the locals saw how those two dragged me, devoid of feelings, to the lake. As for what happened to Yegor. As I was told, he was not quite a healthy person, from childhood he loved to mock animals, behaved strangely, he could attack a person for no reason at all, while muttering some nonsense. Although it was not always noticeable, it was manifested from time to time. Recently, especially often. And I didn't even notice it. But I have seen him several times in my life. So, young girls swam at night in the lake, they have such fun, or something. Friends were already sitting on the shore, and one of them lingered. Egor also liked to wander at night, swam up to her imperceptibly, the devil knows, maybe the moon had such an effect on him or something. Girlfriends saw how he drowned her, but either they did not have time to help, or they were afraid. And this girl resisted desperately, and dragged him to the bottom with her.

Life with an unhealthy, but so beloved son clearly could not benefit the mental health of both parents. And this tragedy, the death of a son, the death of a girl through his fault - this was the last straw, after which they lost their minds. And they decided in their madness that it would be possible to return their son by exchanging me for him. It's a pity, of course, for them.

But I can’t understand one thing, when I first entered the house, then when I woke up, where did this muddy lake water mixed with mud come from?

edited news LjoljaBastet - 24-02-2016, 05:54

The bed is clean, cabbage soup is rich, we will always find clothes, if necessary, and we will help out with money - relatives, after all. Only something from them returns no. If only they were treated with a bag of potatoes, because they have more than a dozen acres. No, they are all poor. After all, you need to keep goats and chickens, feed rabbits. But we, city dwellers, in their opinion, are rich, and if they come for examination or to sell the same potatoes, they should always help them out.

When trouble happens to a person, the first to come to the rescue are relatives and friends. But, unfortunately, it is people from among them who misinterpret the concept of hospitality, and some deliberately abuse it. This topic is relevant today and is often discussed in smoking rooms, in kitchens, on the Ykt.ru forums. And not all relatives are happy. For some, they are a burden. I will give vivid stories, perhaps among the characters presented you will recognize yourself.

Poor relatives

- We gave gifts to our relatives, helped with money, brought food when they came to us. And they will never give or treat anything! We visit them and go to the store to buy groceries. They entertained us with eternal whining: "How to live and where to get money?" So we were surprised when they volunteered to take us to the village to visit our grandmother. We paid for gas, which they suddenly ran out of before the trip. All the way we bought groceries for everyone, but their child doesn’t eat everything in a row, so our wallet was pretty empty. Recently, they called and asked for a visit, but we lied that we were going to an event. It cannot go on like this forever. Talking to them is useless, please advise what to do in this situation?

rowdy relative

- My mother was very unlucky with a relative with whom she had to live for a long time in the same house. Recently, the situation has escalated - my mother has to listen to his insults and all sorts of nasty things, endure his antics and dirty tricks. It even came to assault, but a statement to the police and a fine restrained him. Now he only “brings out the brain”, but it also knocks my elderly mother down. To the words "get out", he responds with three letters and then gets drunk. Can you endure for the rest of your life?

goofy lady

- I have eldest daughter married. They live in a one-room apartment. In the "kopeck piece" of the husband's parents lives their distant relative. She asked to go there five years ago “for half a year”, while she was selling her apartment and buying a new one. But she did not even try to sell this apartment, but let tenants go there and has been living in the apartment for free for five years. She likes it better in someone else's apartment. And the owners are afraid to tell her, they are afraid to offend, to seem abnormal. It's time for daughters and son-in-law to think about children, they just need a large living space. The daughter and her husband, already in the presence of a kopeck piece, are looking for options for rent or a mortgage. Why is this necessary?

overage fools

- An aunt and her two high school daughters fell into our two-room apartment like snow on their heads. And the circus began at my house! These two overage fools sleep during the day, go to discos and dates at night. I don't sleep out of them. In addition, they occupied the beds of the children, we put them on our bed, and we ourselves sleep on the floor. A three-day visit stretched into a month. I said with a direct test: leave, YOU INTERFERE US! My children can’t do their homework properly, no one gets enough sleep, and I was already tormented to cook for such a crowd. In response to me: “Well, you yourself were young, let them live longer.” What am I supposed to do?

Family on the altar of someone else's education

- I'm married. We live in the city, we rent a "odnushka". We both work, but I'm still getting a higher education. After some events in my family, I am extremely jealous of my personal space. Living with strangers depresses me and puts me in a state of chronic stress. So, the gist of the story. My husband has a younger sister, who will finish school the same year, when I receive a diploma, and seriously intend to enter a university. And she is going to live with us. I am categorically against it. I tried to talk to my husband, but he does not even want to raise this topic. He sets as an example his work colleague, who lived with his wife, children and parents in a one-room apartment - and nothing. This is NOTHING for them, but for me it is very bad. No, I don't have anything against her. good girl But I don't want to live with her! I want a family after all! I want children! And what kind of children can we talk about while she lives with us? His sister will study at school for a couple of years, then she will study at the university for six years, then look for a job. And even after finding a job, she will stay with us, because at first she will not be able to support herself on her own. And by then I'll be in my thirties. I am not ready to put my family, my motherhood and personal comfort on the altar of someone else's education.

When I came to Yakutsk to enroll, I knew that I would live in a hostel. Although my father's aunt lived here with her husband and adult daughter, but once the head of their family said: "Come to visit - please, live - no." And I went to the hostel. No one was offended by anyone, because after all he is not obliged to endure his wife's relatives to the detriment of himself. But why should I endure my husband's relatives to the detriment of my comfort, to the detriment of my desire to have a normal family with a child?

Help from my parents so that we can rent a kopeck piece together is out of the question. My parents don't want to know me. A year ago, they kicked me out of the house and forgot about me. They kicked me out because I didn't marry the fiancé they chose. Well, that's not what we're talking about. In general, no one asks me, and my husband's sister lives with us. And I remain a childless woman, because even to conceive a child will not work. No sex, no musi-pusi with her husband, no personal space. And his sister doesn't help me at all. It only squanders and eats away our money. I notice that she has become a burden to her husband, but he stubbornly repeats: “She is my sister,” and she uses it! I tried to raise this topic with my husband more than once, but he just snapped, called me an ungrateful pig and selfish.

impudent little sister

- My friend's sister with children lived with her for almost a year, my friend fed her, dressed her, washed her, she did not sleep with her husband because of her for almost a year, since her sister occupied her bed. Then this little sister became pregnant with the fourth by no one knows who. As a result, the friend's husband packed his things, took the children and went to his mother, and my friend was left to cuckoo with her sister and her children. But her cup of patience burst, and she wrote an application for her sister to the guardianship authorities. And when the commission came to pick up the children, the sister packed up and left for the ulus, where she quickly got a job and found housing. And she didn't even say thank you.

With a cucumber under my arm

- My father has a twin brother. Outwardly - one person, but everything else is different. I can't say that uncle is terrible. It's just that he flows through life, and his wife, our aunt, manages it. Yes, she is sociable, smiling, but impudent, like a tank. Sometimes I just don’t pay attention to her, and sometimes I get jittery from antics and actions! Everything would be fine, but our country houses have a fence in the fence. There is no bathhouse at my uncle's property, and every weekend our relatives bathe with us. And for ten years they have never offered to heat the bathhouse or wash it. Never bought bath and soap accessories. But they steal everything that is in the bath! They take everything. AT recent times I hide washcloths, toothbrushes, a razor, towels, brooms in my own bath. After the bath, we always have dinner at our house. Though crying - even laugh: we have not yet come with a steam room, and they are already hosting at our table, coming with one cucumber under their arm.

They have money, but they save it for a card. Financially does not help even his daughter. The aunt says: “Let the husband feed the pregnant daughter with meat!”

Everyone rides and rides

- In the summer, my husband and two children finally bought a two-room apartment. Now we are being overwhelmed by relatives, they got us - we have no strength. They believe that we are obliged to give them water, feed, give them attention and share a lodging for the night. We ourselves lived in a new apartment for about two weeks, and they all go and go. Everything comes to us, since we began to live in the center. We can’t even make repairs and disassemble things after the move, and they have already littered all the aisles. How tired I was and started arguing with my husband, he can’t refuse them, so I’m the only bitch for everyone. Sometimes I think that it would be better if we stayed in the “odnushka”, where we were happy alone.

“Eat soup so that you don’t eat stroganina”

- Although I live in an ulus, someone constantly stops by: either relatives, or acquaintances of relatives from the villages. I meet my relatives joyfully, sometimes I don’t want them to leave. Every summer I go to the city for diagnostics, and my sister lives with my relatives there. Although this is not her home, she often asks: “When are you leaving?” It's very embarrassing. One day when I was visiting them New Year, she is for festive table hit me on the arm when I reached for the stroganina and said: “I specially put soup for you so that you would eat less stroganina.” What is this hospitality?

I am everything, I am nothing

- My younger sister got into a very unpleasant situation, now she has to pay a large debt every month. Working in her city did not give enough money, and she moved to another city in the hope of earning. Her student daughter, my niece, also lives in another city, with our mother. When trouble happened, I helped my sister and mother. Now I have no free money, but my mother, pitying her daughter and granddaughter, constantly asks for money for them. None of my explanations that I have a family and many of my own problems do not suit them. Mom is a pensioner. My sister is still looking for a well-paid job. Niece graduates from university and writes thesis already a month. He can’t get a job, he says: they don’t take it anywhere. They are always poor, deprived. They will come to me and do nothing to help, from morning to evening they lie on the couch, talk on the phone and buy clothes for themselves - oddly enough, they have the money for this. For a month of living with me, my sister bought only a can of canned food for a common table. I always feel sorry for her, help her, and when I come to her, they drive me back a day later. It's a shame when "native blood" does this.

The cup of patience is overflowing

Hello! I am 22 years old and have been living with us since 2001. civil husband my mother, he is not registered in the apartment, he has his own. I spent all my childhood in fear and on my nerves, because this man drank terribly and still drinks. From time to time there are enlightenments, but now it has become even worse. He shouted at everyone, beat his mother - it came not just to threats, axes and knives flew. I’m scared for my mother, because now I live with a young man, I come several times a week, and my mother sees all this every day. I will finish my studies in June and will live at home. How can I kick this person out of the house? After all, in words it is very easy, but he does not care.
And we collected his things, and the police were called, and the police, apparently, come only when a murder occurs. And in a good way they said that they would not want to live with him. Now he threatens that if I report to the police, he will throw me and my mother out of the window. Because of this, I am afraid to come home.

There are not even acquaintances whom one could ask to expel him. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid that we will have only two options left - either they will kill us or me, or I will do it, because the cup of patience has overflowed for a long time.

Do you even drink tea?

As patience runs out, you can increasingly raise the “topic of the road” - ask how and when relatives are going to get home, or when do they finish treatment, study, business trip, business? You can offer help in ordering tickets and so on.

And with very arrogant relatives you need to talk in their language: “You should be comfortable, but in hotels it’s even more convenient”, “Can I help you get ready?”, “I buy bread for the table, you do everything else. If you don't like it, look elsewhere."

In conclusion, let me remind readers of one well-known phrase: “We are not treated the way we deserve it, but the way we allow ourselves to be treated.” No need to go to extremes: be too sacrificial and allow relatives to sit on your neck. Give them all possible help, the help that does not run counter to your views, plans, interests, prosperity and other values.

What to do with "poor" relatives - drive or help?

The opinion of the inhabitants:

It happens when strangers are closer and more significant than relatives by blood. Yes, if only so, otherwise the evil released by a scoundrel-relative strikes with its prudence or its senseless cruelty the target, which is the native people. I remembered one case from the stories of my parents, as eyewitnesses and direct participants in the event. Was with my father cousin, Ivan. There were legends about his stinginess, I already wrote how, as a five-year-old me, he treated me to an apple for work in his garden, choosing the smallest one, stipulating that I worked little, was distracted by the game with his three-year-old son. He was still envious, but in general, he was a low, insignificant person.

My young mother fell ill, the rural paramedic suggested appendicitis, and an urgent consultation with a specialist was needed.

The time was long ago, there were cars in the village, but there were no roads yet, and it was winter. Horses were the main mode of transport in those days. Father went with a note from the paramedic to his brother Ivan for a horse, he was a foreman and gave orders. Horses, as the main draft force, the collective farm kept in in large numbers, I remember a large stable across the river, horses grazing in the meadow. Ivan ordered to harness a skittish, masterful horse, explaining that the rest would be needed for collective farm work. The father asked for another, which could be more important than human life, but the foreman did not yield, and there was no time to argue. He put the groaning mother in the sleigh and, waving the whip, drove the horse. However, the fast ride did not work, the horse suddenly stopped, twisted its head and bucked. Most likely, the outcome of the case would have been tragic, but, fortunately, a wagon was also moving in the direction of the city, the horse ran cheerfully along the sledge track. An unfamiliar driver stopped and, having learned what was the matter, put my mother in his sleigh, quickly disappeared from sight. My father did not arrive at the hospital soon, my mother had already been operated on, removing the appendix filled with pus, and the surgeon reproached my father for the late visit, a few more minutes and pus would spill into the peritoneum. Mom recovered, and then, with the same adventures, returning to the village already dark , went past the house to Ivan, knocked for a long time, but they did not let him in. The conversation took place later, but that evening the cousin would have been simply beaten and he understood this without opening the door. Father later regretted that he did not ask the name of the fellow traveler, mother's savior, it was not up to that then. At thirty-five, Ivan fell ill, oncology, already quite weak, he sent the children for their mother and asked her forgiveness. His father did not forgive him, on the day of the funeral he changed the roof of the house and did not want to go down to see his brother on his last journey. Ivan's own brother was a completely different person, they had friendly relations with their father.

A story happened to my friend, with his permission I share with you.

My friend, a native Petersburger, God knows what generation, quite an ordinary man, has his own property, wife and children, a three-room apartment was left to him as a legacy from his grandmother. The apartment is clean, tidy, but clearly in need of repair, because last time this same repair was done about forty years ago, and all the furniture is from those very times. Due to the lack of finances for repairs and furnishings in my grandmother’s apartment, they did not touch it temporarily, they paid a communal apartment, and the apartment was empty, until last year ...

About a year ago, my wife's cousin, who previously lived in ..., showed up. no matter where she previously lived, and tearfully asked to shelter her for a couple of months, until she earns money for rent and finds a decent job. My friend’s wife was initially against it, but the friend himself thought “relatives”, let him live in an empty apartment for a couple of months ...
We met Anna at the station, took her to my grandmother's apartment, showed everything, explained it, and immediately warned her that she had been living in this apartment for two to three months at most, paying utility bills, and keeping order.

It turned out that instead of two or three months, money for repairs and furnishings in the apartment was accumulated in only eight months, i.e. my cousin lived there all this time, no one disturbed her, only occasionally asking how things were going, and whether any help was needed.
Arriving at the weekend to Anna, a friend and his wife were very surprised to see in the apartment, in addition to their sister, some kind of peasant, slightly swollen in appearance.
The man immediately began to explain that it was already very hard for poor Anna alone, but he helps and supports, and he also changed the faucet in the kitchen, and by the way he doesn’t ask for money for this ... Oleg (friend) listened to this heresy with the aroma of alcohol, and announced about the urgent relocation of Anya and her swollen roommate, three months have passed a long time ago, and the apartment will be completely renovated with the replacement of all furniture and household appliances, after which the apartment will be rented at a market price. Although if Anna and the cohabitant wish to continue living here, then Oleg is ready to make a discount of 20-30% (relatives), because repairs and investments still need to be beaten off, he gave a week for reflection or eviction, and went home.

A week later, Oleg again went to visit a distant relative, but found that the locks in the apartment had been changed, the door was not opened, and they answered him on the phone, “Listen man, we thought, well, fuck this repair, we lived normally, we paid for the apartment, in short, we do not agree to the new terms. Quietly Sataney Oleg calls the district police officer, calls friends with tire irons, and his wife with papers for an apartment. Friends come to break the door (fortunately wooden), the wife arrives, the district police officer comes, the evening ceases to be languid. I will not describe how they broke the door, I will only say that in a week Anna and her boyfriend not only changed the locks, but also collected signatures from the neighbors that Oleg does not live in this apartment, and has not appeared for the last year. So, according to Anna, they cannot be evicted, because. almost voluntarily gave up the property.