How to stop the transitional age in a girl. Transitional age and crisis in adolescents - advice from a psychologist. Signs of growing up girls

Your child ceases to be small, trying on this feeling of being an adult. Many of the parents are afraid of the onset of this transitional period, often remembering themselves at this age and believing that problems cannot be avoided after the child grows up. Transitional age It is a difficult time, not only for parents, but also for the children themselves. What is happening in this difficult, difficult time, how to understand the psychology of a teenager?

What it is

Transitional age, or adolescence, is the period of human development in the process of transition from childhood to adolescence. Adolescence lasts from 10-11 to 15 years. This transitional period, also called puberty, is one of the critical ones, since at this age there is not only rapid growth and puberty of a youngster, but also cardinal changes in the sphere of consciousness, the system of relationships. Detailed information about this can be found in textbooks on social studies.

Adolescence begins with puberty - the production of hormones that stimulate the development of the reproductive system, brain, muscles, bones and skin. This age is characterized by a “feeling of growing up”, the development of self-esteem and self-awareness. At the transitional stage of ontogenesis, an interest in oneself as a person develops. If there are no conditions for the realization of opportunities, individualization, self-realization of a teenager of crisis age can take an unfavorable form.

Signs of transitional age:

During puberty, at about 10 years old, a person begins active growth - up to 10 centimeters per year. Girls stop growing by the age of 16-18, and boys can continue to stretch until they are 22. External signs the beginning of the transition period is considered the growth of the testicles in boys, the breasts in girls, in both sexes, the growth of hair in the armpits and in the groin.

Girls' physical development is faster than boys', but it's not just physical changes that are considered a sign that your child is going through puberty. Among the changes are changes in character. An affectionate, obedient child of this age can become rude, categorical and touchy. It is best to consider the signs of growing up in more detail in representatives of different sexes separately.

For boys:

Knowing parents about what happens to their son during the transition will help them and the boy cope with this difficult burden of a difficult age called transition. Signs of growing up in boys are divided into three main groups - physical, emotional and sexual. All of them are interconnected, flow one from the other under the influence of the production of testosterone - a hormone with which the boy gradually turns into a man. What are the main signs of this transformation?

1. Musculature begins to develop sharply.
2. Shoulders expand.
3. In the armpits, on the face and in the groin, hair begins to grow, at this age it is still fluffy.
4. The voice breaks.
5. Acne appears on the back and face.
6. The smell of sweat becomes more pungent.
7. There are mood swings, aggressiveness, absent-mindedness and inattention, maximalism characteristic of this age.
8. The sexual organs are actively developing, sexual attraction appears.
9. Perhaps nocturnal uncontrolled ejaculation - the so-called wet dreams, which will pass with age.

For girls:

In girls, adolescence begins during an increase in the production of sex hormones, around 10-11 years of age. The reproductive organs of the girl begin to change, prepare for motherhood. The hormonal surge, characteristic of the transitional stage, leads to an imbalance in the nervous, endocrine and vegetative-vascular systems. The first signs of a girl growing up appear:

1. The pelvic bones expand, the buttocks and hips are rounded.
2. By the age of 10, pigmentation around the nipples becomes pronounced. The nipples themselves swell and protrude.
3. By the age of 11, the mammary glands develop more noticeably, the area under the armpits and the pubis is covered with hair. From this age, menstruation can begin. For some it comes earlier, for others later. Upon reaching the age of 16, the cycle should stabilize, taking on a regular character.
4. Due to the increase in body weight, characteristic of the transition period, girls may begin to become depressed and drastically limit themselves in nutrition. Therefore, carefully monitor how your daughter eats so that restrictions do not lead her to a serious mental illness - anorexia.

Why is adolescence called a transitional age?

The transitional age is the transition to adulthood from childhood, due to which it got its name. The crisis of adolescence is largely associated with the transition period in ontogeny (human development). In this transitional time of personality formation, the child becomes "difficult" - he is characterized by instability of the psyche and behavior, inadequacy.

Human development at the transitional stage undergoes a qualitative restructuring, puberty occurs. A person is growing intensively - moreover, in this period, the growth of the skeleton proceeds faster than muscle mass. Actively developing the cardiovascular system. In the process of restructuring, a youngster may just experience depression, anxiety, and other signs.

Problems and difficulties in adolescents

The difficulties of the transition period are often associated with active hormonal changes in the body. Due to a sharp surge in hormones, frequent mood swings occur. This age is characterized by depression or aggression, anxiety or isolation. Often a teenager becomes simply unbearable, causing a lot of problems not only to parents, but also to himself.

A growing organism needs personal space - it wants to be independent, strives to get out of parental control. Against this background, conflict often arises between parents and children. It is better to allow your growing child to be alone with himself, not to climb into his soul. If a teenager considers that you should be trusted, he will tell you what he sees fit, himself.

Difficulties also arise when a guy or girl enters a team, where a kind of struggle for leadership takes place. In the company of people with similar problems, a complex character, there is rarely equality. The same desire for leadership can push to rash actions - for example, become attached to bad company, and as a result - to become addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, hooliganism, and sometimes even drug addiction.

It is difficult for outcasts among peers, such an exile becomes isolated, becomes uncommunicative, experiences stress and a feeling of humiliation or self-abasement in the company of peers. In this case, parents need to help their child adapt to society in order to avoid serious psychological problems in future.

Of great importance for a maturing guy or girl is the problem of appearance. It is especially difficult for girls to experience this - after all, all the attention goes to the beautiful, bright and self-confident. Plus, teenage acne appears, oily skin and other attributes of adolescence. Therefore, the first task of parents in this direction is to teach their son or daughter to take care of themselves, their appearance, instill good taste in clothes, develop a sense of self-confidence, which they will need later in any period of life.

There are also problems in the background unrequited love. First love, which is also fueled by various TV shows, is often very strong, and failure, combined with the increased emotionality of a teenager and the tendency of this age to paint all life moments with bright colors, can undermine mental health. It is best if parents explain to their children in love that the best is definitely ahead of them, failures are quite experienced, and with age they will perceive their feelings differently.

Types of teen depression

Depression is difficult to recognize, because the behavior of young children of this age is often caused not by negative emotions, but by mood swings caused by the puberty process. But a persistent bad mood, poor school performance, and some other signs of a difficult age can indicate the presence of depression. It should be borne in mind that this is a disease, and it is not a type of mood, but a mental disorder. In general, there are several types of depression:

Classic depression. During this period, young people often feel sadness, depression, anxiety. A person ceases to experience pleasure from his usual activities. Favorite movies, photos, food cause an attack of irritability. The symptoms of classic depression in a teenager include slowness of movement and thinking, external lack of will.

neurotic depression. This kind of depression, sometimes adolescence, arises as a result of a long situation that traumatizes the psyche. The disease begins with a decrease in mood, tearfulness and a feeling of unfair treatment of oneself. Symptoms of neurotic depression may include trouble falling asleep, disturbed waking, weakness, morning headaches, and low blood pressure.

Psychogenic depression. It develops with the loss of vital values ​​for a teenager (and not only). This may be the death of loved ones, a break in relationships. Psychogenic depression can develop in a short time. Its signs include internal tension, anxiety for fate, longing and lethargy, complaints about their low value. When such symptoms appear, you should immediately pay attention to the guy or girl, and take them to a psychologist until they consider suicide to be the best way out of the situation.

Features of contact with a teenager

When a child reaches adolescence, all the requirements for him are conditionally divided into three groups: not discussed (for example, the time of returning home), discussed (planning free time) and accepted by him independently. These groups are subject to preliminary discussion.

Uniform requirements in the family for a growing child are of considerable importance. The youth himself desires rights more than he strives for duties. If the rising generation realizes that too much is expected of them, they will try to shirk their responsibilities. Therefore, serious arguments must be given to all requirements - a simple imposition on a teenager at the stage of personality formation may not work.

It is worth considering that often the growing generation performs its actions under the influence of momentary emotions characteristic of the transition period. Therefore, you should not have a conversation, discuss the behavior of a teenager or words when you see that your child is excited, annoyed or upset. In addition, one should take into account the unstable state of the psyche, at this stage it is not much to find fault. A special relationship requires a sense of adulthood in a teenager. The feeling of significance and independence in this difficult age is very important to support in different ways.

Let the child himself understand the objects of his affection or love and make his own decisions in this direction, although this is not yet quite an adult age. And do not forget that even if a teenager needs the help of his parents, at the same time he tries to protect his own world from invasion, and he has the right to do so. Try not to control his behavior and treat your child with respect, at the same time, indirectly influencing actions.

But it is not always worth paying attention to the opposition inherent in this period - a teenager still needs support from adults. It is best if an adult acts as a friend. This will make it easier for the child to find himself in self-knowledge. With this interaction, it becomes possible to create a deep spiritual contact.

How to survive a crisis

1. Pay close attention to your child's development. Do not miss the first, even if faint, signs of his entry into adolescence.
2. Take seriously the fact that any person develops at an individual pace, not always corresponding to a specific age. You should not consider a growing youngster a small child. But do not try to make a child a teenager before he is ready for this, even if his age as such is considered transitional.
3. Take seriously all the statements of your child, no matter how stupid they may seem.
4. Give the maturing organism maximum independence - as much as it can withstand for its age. Try to consult with children on any occasion - even the most trifling. They should feel on a par with you, an equal member of the family.
5. What you want to achieve from your daughter or son, do it yourself - for example, always call if you are late.
6. Try to correct the mistakes in education made earlier. At this age, all bugs tend to crawl out.
7. Show interest in everything that matters to your son or daughter. In a transitional age rich in surprises, they have a reassessment of interests and values, and it is better if you take a direct part in this process.
8. Use incentives, discuss the rules. But some things, especially those related to safety, at any age, and especially transitional, must be observed unquestioningly.

To make such a difficult and difficult transitional period for your child painless, both for him and for you, you can seek the help of a psychologist. True, few teenagers will go for it, believing that there is no problem as such. As an option for help, you can read a book on the psychology of adolescence or watch a video.

The teenage period in a child's life is usually a serious test for the family. Children begin to study worse, forget about hygiene, make a mess in the room, many lie, and sometimes steal. The parents can't stand it. Moms are hysterical, and dads are trying to achieve submission at any cost!

Teenagers are brought to an appointment with a psychologist: they ask that they return their former, obedient child. And they want to receive instructions “What can be done to make the child become normal again?”.

Of course, each case is different, but here's what you need to know about adolescence.

1. This period will end, it is not forever!

Many adults, remembering their adolescence, sincerely sympathize with their parents, not understanding how they withstood their quirks.

2. Teenagers don't feel the true meaning of words. They may shout insults at you, make unrealistic promises, lie, and genuinely wonder why you are outraged. Of course, this does not mean that you should forgive rudeness and rudeness. But you definitely shouldn't take what was said too close to your heart.

3. Do not patronize a teenager as a little one, treat him like an adult. Give more independence and define his areas of responsibility. A teenager, in addition to lessons, should have responsibilities. Clearly formulate assignments and scope of work, children are not able to guess for themselves how to help you. Teach your child to go to the clinic on their own, pay for their phone, buy groceries, cook. At the same time, there is no need to make scandals with a listing of what he did not fulfill, especially if you did not stipulate these points. And be sure to praise, even for small things, encourage initiative.

4. Let teenagers make mistakes. There is no need to repeat that "you supposedly said, but he did not listen to you." This will only cause irritation and a desire to do it out of spite.

5. The child does not have to be the way you were at his age, or the way you want him to be.

6. Give your teenager the opportunity to argue with you, to express their opinion. Let him work out the skill of conducting a discussion and learn to defend his boundaries. If the arguments are convincing - yield. Often parents forbid, do not let, take away without explanation, accompanying their actions with comments: “I don’t even want to listen to this, I decided that’s all.” Put yourself in the place of the children: how would you feel in a similar situation?

7. Remember that during this period you are not an authority for a teenager. Now your child has successful peers, bloggers and other prominent representatives of the youth subculture in authority. The depreciation will pass, but, alas, not for everyone and not to the end.

8. Don't ask the question: what were you thinking when you did it? This is meaningless, since a teenager often does not know the answer himself. He has other priorities and the brain works differently, but it definitely works. At this age, the main task is self-determination. Children are worried about serious life problems: I'm not beautiful, I'm not the coolest, why I don't have a boyfriend, and so on. And the complaints of parents about studying and cleaning are in last place on this list ...

9. Cultivate financial literacy and discuss material issues. Teenagers need to understand where money comes from and how you get it. Teach children to plan their expenses: start giving out pocket money at a time for a week or a month, let the child learn to distribute the budget on his own.

10. If a teenager tells you lies, it may be a signal of your authoritarianism and excessive control. The child thus establishes protection from your intervention on his territory. Therefore, do not fall into hysterics, it is better to analyze your attitude.

11. Let your child feel that you are on their side. He should always feel your support and love, even if you are at odds with him.

12 . Stand up for your boundaries. You are not obliged to run to the child at the first request, you can have your own affairs. And if you forbade something or announced the rules, you should not break them and close your eyes if a child does this. Teenagers constantly test your strength and endurance. They know better than you where you can give up. Therefore, if you are not sure that you can keep your inhibitions, it is better not to scare, it will backfire.

FINALLY

Remember, a teenager is many times harder than you. He is learning to be an adult, getting used to changes in his body and appearance. Overcomes hormonal surges and difficulties of the first relationship. He needs to understand who he is and who he will become. In general, you will not envy him. Minimize endless reproaches and dissatisfaction with the child. Try to provide maximum support and acceptance, now he needs it more than ever.

And most importantly: first of all, take care of yourself, your husband (wife) or something else interesting and leave your child alone!

Now the theory is put into practice. Patience, patience and more patience. And love!

Sooner or later, every child enters the time of growing up, along with it come the problems of adolescence. A kind, sweet, affectionate baby begins to change before our eyes, becomes rude, aggressive, and possibly, vice versa, withdrawn and distant. This is not surprising, because during this period the children's body begins to change rapidly, along with this, changes occur in the worldview, attitude towards themselves and others.

The time of growing up is one of the most important, but at the same time the most difficult life stages of every person. The future of the child may well depend on how it passes. That is why the main main task of the parents of a teenage boy is to help him survive this period as painlessly as possible.

transitional age

In general, transitional age is usually called the time period during which puberty occurs in children. During this period, physical development and growth accelerates, systems and internal organs organism. It is very difficult to say exactly when all these processes will begin and end. This is due to the fact that the body of each child has its own, individual rhythms and physical characteristics.

Therefore, it is impossible to accurately predict at what age the transitional age for boys will come. It can start at the age of ten or fourteen and last up to fifteen or seventeen. Moreover, these indicators can vary. In boys, maturation occurs about a couple of years later, is much more active and lasts longer (about 4-5 years)

Experts believe that the beginning of adolescence depends on various factors - heredity, nationality, level physical development lifestyle, presence or absence bad habits etc. Boys who ate right stuck to healthy lifestyle life and showed physical activity, enter the time of puberty, as a rule, on time.

But whenever he comes of age, he will consist of three main phases:

• preparatory- it is often referred to as the younger adolescence. During this period, the mind and body are preparing for the coming changes.
• puberty- this is the transitional age or adolescence.
• Postpubertal- in this period, the psychological and physiological formation is finally completed. It already affects the time of youth, it is at this time that boys begin to show an active interest in the representatives of the opposite sex.

The body of a child with the onset of adolescence undergoes strong changes, such changes also affect his appearance and on behavior. The main reason for the changes are actively produced hormones. It is they who become the culprits of sudden mood swings, irritability, nervousness, intensive growth, etc.

To begin with, consider the physiological changes that can be used to determine the transitional age in boys. The signs of puberty are as follows:

• Be your child's friend. Since at this stage friends play a big role in the life of a teenage boy, parents need to make every effort to get into their number. So it will be much easier for you to be aware of what is happening in the life of your child, which means that you will be able to provide him with help or support in time. Of course, it is very difficult to become a friend of a child, especially if he is used to hearing only moralizing from you. Understanding the boy that you are equal to each other will help to do this. Remember yourself at this age, you probably thought that adults would never be able to understand you. Believe me, your son thinks the same. Try to dispel this belief, open up to the child from the other side, appear before him as a simple person with his shortcomings and complexes. You can tell the boy something about yourself, tell a few stories about your youth, first love, problems at school, etc.
• Do not limit the freedom of the child. In adolescence, there is a particularly acute need for personal space. Give it to the child. Moreover, we are talking here not only about their own territory in the apartment (room, table or corner), maturing children must have it, but also about freedom and the right to choose. You should not control every step of your son, rummage through his things, eavesdrop on conversations, this will only lead to negative consequences. Do not limit the child in everything, thus trying to protect him from troubles, since total control will not allow him to feel independent and will only set him against you. Naturally, it is impossible to destroy all frames, they must be, but reasonable. Learn to trust your son, offer compromises in controversial issues, but to learn more about his personal life, communicate more, but in no case do not interrogate.
• Avoid excessive criticism. Naturally, there are circumstances when it is impossible to do without criticism, but it should only be constructive, and directed not at the child himself (you are a slob, lazy, etc.), but at his actions, behavior, mistakes, in a word, at everything that can be corrected. Since teenagers are too sensitive to any comments, express your dissatisfaction as gently as possible, you can even combine it with praise.
• Show interest. The maturation of boys is accompanied by a change in the value system and worldview, it is not surprising that hobbies, judgments, and views change during this period. If you show interest in what your child is doing (but not obsessively) and support him in this, he will begin to trust you more. Do not be lazy to talk with a teenager, be interested in his life, reasoning, etc. It would not be superfluous to ask the son's opinion in solving general issues (what wallpaper to glue, where to move the cabinet, etc.)
• Be Patient. If the child is rude or rude, try to control yourself. Remember, excessive emotionality is a consequence of the transition period. By answering your son in the same way, you will only provoke a scandal. It is better to try to talk to him later, in a calm atmosphere, such communication will be much more effective.
• Praise more often. Praise is necessary for everyone, after words of approval wings seem to grow, there is a desire and strength to conquer more and more peaks. Praise your child more often, even for small achievements or just good deeds, this will serve as an incentive for him to develop and improve himself. In addition, praise is a good way to show that you care about the child.
• Recognize his identity. A teenager, albeit small, but already a person who has his own interests, hobbies, outlook on life, opinion. Do not try to change your son, do not impose your beliefs, it is better to accept him as he is.

The most difficult psychological stage in a person's life is the transitional period, which significantly affects the formation of the individual as a person. This time can be called a bridge between two lives: a child's and an adult's. Often, a transitional age crisis affects not only a teenager, but also his environment. After all, a person's values ​​change, new stereotypes appear, his own point of view is formed. Such a period is considered quite painful and difficult, so you need to know how to deal with problems that may arise during adolescence.

Most difficult age

Few people know about the crises that occur in a person at the age of three and seven years. But the transition period and the difficulties associated with it are known to everyone. Almost all parents wait with horror for the onset of a transitional age crisis in their offspring. Many even try to prevent this stage and create all conditions for this. But in most cases, such attempts are useless. Despite all the efforts of parents, teenagers push the boundaries of what is permitted, kindle conflict situations, do not follow the rules and violate the prohibitions. Mostly teenagers act as provocateurs. They appeal to the fact that parents and relatives do not want to understand them. But through such disagreements and difficult situations, a teenager learns about himself, learns to defend his own positions and grows up.

Time of onset

Representatives different countries and religions define transitional age in their own way. For some adolescents, it may occur by the age of fourteen, and for others by the age of twenty. This transition can be realized both simply in obtaining a passport or reaching the age of majority, or accompanied by various serious conflicts. At this age comes puberty, there is a legal responsibility for their actions. The transitional period is very difficult for the individual and his environment. Psychology claims that the time of onset of this stage is purely individual. It depends on many factors such as cultural heritage, religious beliefs, environment, social circle.

Difficult teen behavior

During adolescence, a teenager is constantly trying to defend the right to his independence and independence from adults. This desire is manifested in important points, as the complexity of behavior, pronounced stubbornness, negativism, increased conflict, open disobedience, defending one's own opinion on any issue. Teenagers often demonstrate their non-conformity when communicating with peers, and also deliberately oppose themselves to adults. The problems of the transition period mainly lie in the fact that the teenager creates the opposite of the obedient teenager. The child can behave in this way for a long time. Although in some cases the climax of the crisis of adolescence passes quietly. There are two opposite scenarios according to which this stage of human formation can develop.

The first, classical version of development

A teenager shows the traditional symptoms that accompany any age crisis. The teenager behaves obstinately, stubbornly, shows willfulness and negativism, and is critical of the demands of relatives and teachers. At this stage of growing up, a teenager's sense of ownership is aggravated. He begins to protect his belongings from prying eyes and hands, values ​​\u200b\u200bpersonal space. Often, the transitional age is characterized by the fact that a teenager forbids parents or acquaintances to enter his monastery. He becomes secretive in communication. It may seem to relatives that the child is hiding something terrible. But don't worry. A teenager undergoes serious changes in the inner world. The system of human values ​​is changing, new principles are emerging, a worldview is being formed. During this difficult period, the teenager is trying to protect his emerging personality, and therefore behaves in a non-standard way.

Second option

But everything can develop according to another scenario, which is directly opposite to the first one. A teenager is completely dependent on parents and teachers. Excessive obedience and return to former interests are characteristic signs of the behavior of a teenager who is going through a transition period according to the second option, which is also called the “addiction crisis”. A person often returns to the old system of values ​​and relationships with others. Its goal is to find support and gain comparative carelessness. Regardless of the scenario in which the adolescent's self-determination proceeds, at this stage of development, the definition of a life position occurs. If in the first case the teenager focuses the attention of others on the fact that he is no longer a child, then in the second case he wants to continue to remain in his childhood.

Positive results

The crisis of transition has many positive results. A teenager fights for his independence, tries to assert himself, to know his own abilities and capabilities. Such a struggle must take place in safe environment. As a result, the teenager develops a sense of self-confidence. In addition, it is adolescence and the difficulties associated with it that help a person learn independence, discover qualities in himself that will help him resolve difficult situations in the future.

Character traits

The transitional age is characterized by the fact that a person is actively developing cognitive processes. The teenager moves to abstract thinking. He begins to like reasoning on abstract topics. Features of the transitional period are that the sensations and perception of a person move to a new, higher level. A teenager is increasingly analyzing his actions and the actions of those around him, focuses on important things, and is selective in choosing a future profession. Creative and intellectual abilities are actively developing. In addition, the motivational sphere is changing, which begins to form on the basis of clearly defined goals.

First of all, communication

For a teenager, comrades and friends become the most important people. Adolescence is the time active communication with peers. By constantly contacting each other, adolescents learn social interaction. Through communication, they satisfy their need for emotional contacts, which increases in adolescence. A person's puberty also plays an important role. A teenager's hormonal background changes, which leads to a change in behavior in society, interests and self-awareness. At this stage, it is important not to limit the teenager in communication. This can lead to nervous breakdowns and prolonged depression. Teenagers need to interact with peers. After all, this is an important factor in the formation of one's own opinion.

Adolescence and its task

The adolescent transition period is characterized by the fact that a person moves to a new level in physiological and social terms. The most important acquisition that adolescence entails is the development of a sense of personal identity. The desire of a teenager to isolate himself from the obsessive attention of his parents can be considered quite normal. To identify as an adult, a teenager needs to overcome emotional emancipation. A teenager must gain freedom by "stepping over" children's emotional relationships. To enter into adulthood, a person needs to gain intellectual independence.

During adolescence, a teenager learns to think critically, begins to independently decide important questions. Behavioral autonomy, which manifests itself in various areas of life, is also an indicator of maturation. The teenager himself chooses his style of clothing, social circle, interests and preferences. This period does not carry terrible consequences or excesses. Parents only need to treat their child condescendingly, calmly and with understanding.