Parenting 2 3 years old tips. Child development at the age of two and a half years. Psychology and little tricks

The behavior of a two-year-old child is in many ways similar to the behavior of a one-year-old, but new features also appear in it. Which?

Speech development

One of the main milestones in the development of a child of this age is the development of speech. Once small man learns to formulate his desires and thoughts, he moves to a new level. In general, between 2 and 3.5 years, when phrasal speech should normally appear, there is less screaming and frustration.

And yet in full mother tongue the child will master later, only by 4 years. So far, not every desire or state of the baby can formulate. And this can give rise to a variety of discontent and frustration. It's very disappointing when you want to say which book to read to you, but no one understands you. Or do you ask to wear a purple blouse, but no one responds, and even ask: "what-what?"

All this can cause great frustration, screaming, and even such vivid forms of behavior as tantrums and throwing on the floor.

Normal tantrums: how to deal with them?

On average, once a week, a baby of this age can be expected to be upset to tears. The norm can be considered tantrums that occur up to 2-3 times a week - a lot depends on the temperament and intensity of the child's development. But if tantrums and tears are repeated up to 2-3 times a day, then the baby either goes through a critical period of development, or experiences prolonged stress. If neither is true, then you should contact a specialist: a neurologist, or a psychologist, or a homeopath.

Without irritation and tantrums, only future phlegmatic people manage at the age of 2-3 years. That is, parents should tune in to encounters with episodes of tantrums and learn to respond correctly to them, to behave correctly.

One of the main parenting skills that is acquired at this time is containment of emotional resistance, irritation and anger of the child. What it is?

Here is a fairly typical example: a child does not want to be turned off cartoons. Or does not want to leave the sandbox and yells about it. A situation that few parents have not encountered. What does emotional containment look like?

First, it is important not to connect to the child's emotions - not to start speaking in raised tones, screaming and angry.

Secondly, it’s worth explaining to the child in a calm voice in an accessible language what is happening to him: “Vanya, you are very upset, you are angry, you don’t want to ... leave the walk. Many children who are 2 years old really don’t want to go home when it's time to have dinner. But..." And then you list your own arguments, according to which you should definitely go home.

This measure does not give an immediate result, on the contrary, screaming and crying in the first minutes after such an explanation can only intensify.

But on the other hand, the long-term, cumulative effect is very good: over time, when 2-6 weeks pass from the start of using this behavior interpretation method, you will notice that the child begins to read not only his own behavior, but sometimes yours: "Mom is tired, mom wants to lie down." Over time, the child's ability to better understand his condition, as well as the feelings and desires of other people will only develop.

Why is this needed? Despite the fact that our baby is already a talking creature, the motives and reasons for his own behavior are most often incomprehensible to him. Even when the word "I" is already actively used, it is very difficult for the baby to understand and name the reason for his own joy or frustration. Complex own desires and unwillingnesses, too, cannot yet be clearly formulated by the child. And here mom can help a lot, as a "translator from children."

Interpreting a child's behavior is a universal way of responding to tantrums and other disruptions in his behavior.

Early and late speaking children

A lot depends at this age on how large the active vocabulary child. So, a 2.5-year-old person may make complex philosophical speeches, or may barely be able to say a two-word phrase.

And that defines behavior. That is psychological age well and badly speaking children will be different if the calendar age coincides. And if the child is not yet actively speaking, then the features of his behavior will be more likely to relate to, and this is not a developmental delay, but a variant of the norm. And the time of mastering active speech is a very heritable factor, and in each family it happens in its own way.

As a result, the maturity of the child and the requirements of the parents for him between 2 and 3 years depend on how well the child speaks. And often for those children who began to speak early, parental requirements are overstated, and these requirements sometimes become an unbearable psychological burden for a small person.

Love for tradition and the importance of regime

The child's nervous system still retains traits, a tendency to inertia. This is not as pronounced as between a year and two, especially when the baby begins to speak freely, but it is quite noticeable. Young children are big conservatives, dislike novelties in food, clothing, toy placement, and the sequence of events throughout the day. It is difficult for a child of this age to offer not only a new, unfamiliar dish, but also familiar food in unfamiliar dishes.

And during weekends and holidays, when the usual routine is lost, children can behave significantly worse. This is because the baby is highly dependent on the degree of fatigue and the number of impressions. This is another feature of the age of 2-3.5 years. If the baby is knocked out of the usual mode of life for one reason or another, and there are too many impressions, he will behave worse than usual.

And nothing can be done here. It is possible to influence the behavior of a child of this age only when he is calm, not too tired, full and not knocked out of his usual rhythm - in the so-called "green" range. But if at least one of the conditions described above is violated, any attempt to influence the child will lead to complex behavior or tantrums.

Excitability is a common feature of age

It is much easier for a baby of this age to get excited than to calm down, and this is not an individual characteristic, but a general feature of age. Many means of folk pedagogy are aimed at repaying excitement: nursery rhymes, fables, lullabies. We, modern parents, often do not know how to soothe. We are committed to development, to creating a learning environment. We weren't taught to calm down. In general, it often seems to us that if a child cries, then something is wrong.

Two thoughts may struggle in parents. The first: "Children should not cry, you need to urgently do whatever he wants" - this is from the repertoire of permissiveness. And the second: "How dare he yell, because I told him ..." - this is from the arsenal of educators kindergarten with whom we interacted as children.

I am not at all a supporter of children crying a lot. And yet, up to 4-4.5 years, until the control of the cerebral cortex over emotions and states of excitement matures, a temperamental baby can have a lot of tears and screams. Not because you are bad parents but because the age of the child is.

And, of course, crying and frustration should be tried to predict in advance, if possible, prevent and respond competently. But in general, this behavior is normal and expected.

The child depends on the emotional state of the adult

The child depends on the state of the mother, the so-called "law of infection with emotions" acts on him. That is, the baby connects to the main, most powerful emotion that prevails in the adult who is currently with him. And if the parents have a quarrel or conflict, the child begins to behave restlessly or inappropriately - not because he wants to, but simply because he cannot do otherwise. Psychological defenses at this age do not yet work. And therefore, it is useless to tell the baby to "calm down" when you yourself are nervous. He cannot create an island of calm on his own, but can only join your island of calm and confidence.

Negativity and stubbornness are signs of growing up

The child's own opinion and resistance to what parents say and want from him begins to appear. Such behavior is a sign of a 3-year-old crisis, and it is best in these cases to switch the child's attention, to transfer the situation into a playful one (more on this in the next article). But if you start "butting" with a child, arguing with him on an equal footing, stubbornness will only intensify, especially among temperamental children.

Contacts with peers

Between 2-3 years, the child begins to show a steady interest in peers, their games, behavior. The child singles out one of the children, calls them his friends. In my opinion, at this age it is very useful to attend classes where children are present with their parents. This will have the maximum developmental effect, because the age of separation from the mother has not yet come.

Children most often at this time do not play together, but near each other, looking with great interest towards their peers. This is the first stage of a joint game, and the actions of other children should be commented on and explained to the child. This will help him in the future to understand the behavior and attitudes of other children.

Let's summarize:

When a child cries or screams, do not think that it can be "turned off" instantly. Emotional processes at this age are inert.

Take advantage of every opportunity to switch attention - this is the golden key in raising a child of this age.

Do not compare your baby with others: the temperament and character of the child is a lottery ticket, and there is little opportunity to influence him.

Two years is a transitional age, at this age the child ceases to be like your dear child and becomes capricious, his character and behavior change. More than one mother noticed, only the baby steps over the line at 2 years old, how the character turns into an obstinate disposition. Psychologists have an opinion on this matter - it is the crisis of 2 years of age that is one of the most difficult moments not only for the child, but also for parents who have not yet had time to recover sufficiently after the appearance of a new personality in the family.

Problems of raising a child at 2 years old

The main question that all parents ask during the first transitional period of the baby is how to raise a naughty child. Indeed, at 2 years old, all children become not just harmful, they experience some personality changes, they begin to see the world differently, not like before. The child grows up, and no matter how funny it may sound for moms and dads, for whom their children are always crumbs, they move into a more adult life.

Parents will be helped simple tips and knowledge of the problem, it is also not a sin to turn to child psychologist to hear the information and read all the necessary literature about the transitional age at 2 years. It is not necessary to take a child to a doctor, but to visit several consultations on your own means to help the baby cope with the first life problems, learn how to properly raise your baby, and find a way out of some difficult situations.

At 2 years old, the guys become more reasonable, their main task is to become independent. That is, the knowledge of the world by means of one's own strength and the study of the environment without the help of adults. And any prohibitions and rules only hinder development. Mom wants to patronize further, but what about the desires of the child? Give him freedom, at least partial. Prohibit only that which threatens his health or future life. Try not to “mix” the opinion of strangers into raising your baby (you can’t please everyone). Learn to listen and listen, this is extremely important.

Each ban for children 2 years old is a serious blow to self-esteem and the desire to be independent. Children feel that their rights are beginning to be infringed, they feel discomfort, while not fully realizing its cause. The brain in response gives the command to act contrary to the parents, to resist in various ways. Whims, screams, silence and puffed cheeks, broken toys - all these are forms of protest.

One of the main unspoken rules for parents is not to blame yourself for everything, stop reproaching yourself. Transitional age child does not depend on parenting, on whether you are strict with the baby or vice versa - too soft, on the number of house rules or their absence. Take it for granted, the only thing that mom and dad can do is read the necessary information and be prepared for the fact that they have to ask themselves the question of how to raise a capricious child.

The crying and tantrums that accompany the age of two are quite normal, as well as the whims and unwillingness to obey your rules. Of course, try to give the baby more space, as well as solving simple and feasible tasks that the child will cope with lightly. At this age, it is best to start engaging in diverse educational games, puzzles, and coloring books. So, the desire to cope with the tasks set alone will be satisfied. You will help gently shape the character of the child, and you will have to worry much less.

Crisis of 2 years of age

The opinion of psychologists is unequivocal, it is completely why your cute baby turns into a tough manipulator. It is in the period from one and a half to two years that the child involuntarily changes, begins to feel more mature, as he already understands some things, for the first time after birth. He wants to know everything, but only without asking mom or dad, but on his own. Parents cannot allow the baby to take such a step, and he will test them for strength. The child throws tantrums and is naughty, cries and does not obey, because only in this way does he recognize the limits, explore the possibilities and prioritize, explore the boundaries. By means of scandals, the kid tries to understand what limits cannot be crossed, what is generally acceptable and what is not, and only you can help.

It is interesting, but all this will allow to form a personality, character, life positions. Frames are needed, put them right away to give the child a clear idea of ​​\u200b\u200badulthood, in a language acceptable to him. It is the boundaries and support that will give the crumbs the opportunity to feel safe.

Do not resist growing up, do not indulge, but do not deprive the baby of the opportunity to turn to you in difficult times. Scold and forbid as you see fit, but do not protect too much. The resistance and obstacles that life puts, the baby must overcome on their own. Remember, once you've made a rule, don't give in under any circumstances. Rules are rules, and violation of them is fraught with punishment or a strict conversation, which will be more effective than a slap on the buttocks or a cruel scream.

Understand, a small person, by the way, like an adult, will always look for a way to get what he wants. This is a good character trait - perseverance in achieving the goal. Depending on the development of the mind, the methods may be different.

Your task is to cool the ardor of a child at 2 years old, that is, to let him know that he will not achieve his goal with scandal and stamping his feet. Then the kid will start looking for another method of influencing others, and when he finds an effective one, he will conclude that it is correct.

So let this method of getting what you want be a conversation. Show your child that by ordinary speech and requests, by discussing the situation, you can get what you want.

Raising a hyperactive child at 2 years old

So how do you educate a gi a proactive child, and even during his crisis two years? The ADHD syndrome manifests itself during this period. Perseverance and calmness have sunk into oblivion, the baby has become emotionally unstable, harmful, even that fidget who stopped sleeping, eating, and following household rules. This is a problem that parents cope with in different ways, someone punishes, someone even beats, someone goes on about tantrums. There are also such parents who, following the instructions of "compassionate relatives", can stuff a child at 2 years old with sedatives and tranquilizers.

No matter how unpleasant it may sound, hyperactivity syndrome is a neurological problem, and you should contact a neurologist or child psychologist for advice and treatment. Only an experienced doctor should, after a series of tests, make this diagnosis. How is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Diagnosed? The doctor observes the behavior of the child in his usual environment, conducts an examination of the moral and mental state baby. Further, a series of analyzes is carried out using medical equipment. And although all tests and examinations will not bring pain and discomfort, it is not worth exposing a child who controls his activity to this procedure. Perhaps you just think that the baby is hyperactive.

The main unpleasant aspects of the hyperactivity syndrome can be called the lack of perseverance and attentiveness, concentration and desire to do something useful, sleep disturbance. Go on about the whims, it's not worth it. But with children with ADHD, you need to work differently, it's not just raising a naughty child, it's a special approach, patience and endurance. This means that you will have to learn to recognize when the guys do not need hugs, when just to drink some water and be alone, when to change the situation and occupation.

Don't neglect group family activities, for example, swimming, go to swimming pools or water parks, get your baby interested in sports, especially since water has an excellent property to bring nervous system tidy up and calm her down.

Be sure to download or buy a collection of good relaxing music for kids, this will help calm them down. Also a good solution would be a massage, with a specialist or on your own. If the question of how to raise a child, especially during the crisis of 2 years, began to excite you and make it difficult, refer to literature, a psychologist or a neuropathologist. The opinion of a specialist will always help to understand what your baby lacks and what is in excess. After all, study and education, as well as caresses and hugs, should be in moderation.

Good afternoon, dear readers! I get a lot of questions about raising kids. I constantly emphasize that until the age of 5, the baby should face prohibitions as little as possible. Many begin to resent, believing that I am introducing complete permissiveness ...

I am not at all worried about my youngest son, who will be two years old in a few months. I don’t worry that he will not learn the word “no” until the age of 18, and will not be able to perceive prohibitions until retirement. But I hear how many mothers worry about their children ... Therefore, I write on this topic again and again. Today we will talk more about boundaries, and how to raise a child at 2 years old.

So, the child always has prohibitions and boundaries. And in 2 years, and in a year, and even in several months. Another question is how we designate these boundaries. Do we shout menacingly “no” or show prohibitions as gently as possible?

And again I emphasize: everything I will write about here applies only to babies under 5 years old. At the age of 5-7 there is a significant leap in the development of the child. And after this age, the attitude towards prohibitions should change (on the part of parents). If parents don’t change anything until the age of 18, and talk to a teenager like a one-year-old toddler ... Then big problems really begin. But we are talking about the little ones. It is very important!

This terrible permissiveness

How tired I am of responding to indignant comments on my posts that threaten my children with a terrible future because of our “permissiveness”! I'm tired, because for almost every post on social networks about my attitude to oil spilled by a one-year-old or about harmless pranks, there is someone “not indifferent”. And every time you have to write the same thing. Sometimes you already want to just ignore the comment ... But then I understand that it is important to repeat it. Repeat many times. For one of the mothers to break the old stereotypes.

So, the good news is that permissiveness does not threaten your child. It is simply impossible to organize it. Impossible. If you are a normal mother, you will not let your baby play with fire, climb out of the window, run on the road, etc. So your child's behavior will have some limits anyway. And he will begin to master them from birth.

From birth, a child is faced with the fact that life is not always the way we would like it to be. Even if you practice, give the breast at the first squeak and carry the child around the clock. From the first months, the child is already something impossible.

For example, babies should not roll over at the edge of the sofa. If he rolls over like that, he will fall. However, no normal mother will try to convey this to a three-month-old baby.

Imagine a mother threateningly waving her finger in front of such a baby and saying: “You can’t!!” And then, when the child still fell, saying: “Why don’t you obey?! How naughty you are! Now you will know! I see that you understand everything! Your eyes are already smart, and you pronounce “aha” perfectly! You understand everything, but you don't listen! Who will grow out of you?!”

Approximately the same thing happens even when the child is one year old. I wrote about this in the article "". This situation continues at 2 years. And even longer. Although at 2-3 years old the baby is already responding to many prohibitions. And it seems that he is already so smart... He reacts to many of your words and prohibitions, but... Not to all.

What's wrong with bans?

Up to 5-7 years old, the child's brain is not yet mature enough for an adequate perception of prohibitions. This does not mean that until the age of 5 you will not pronounce the word “no” at all. Unfortunately this is not possible. But it is necessary to pronounce this word as little as possible.

Our eldest daughter now almost 4 years old. And she already knows "no" well. And even - about a miracle! She listens well most of the time. But even now, at 4 years old, any prohibitions are difficult for her. And if I start saying “no” often, whims, tantrums and all signs of overexcitation begin. This is at 4 years old! What can we say about a two-year-old baby?

In fact, at 1-3 years old, prohibitions are not so terrible - the child easily ignores them. At this age, the correct strategy is: "You can not scold or scold the baby for not obeying."

Children under the age of 5 should not be scolded at all. At this age, the baby will never understand that you "love him very much, but are angry at his bad behavior." And the only thing you will achieve is that the child will feel bad and unloved.

How to set boundaries

The parenting strategy is very simple. Extremely simple. If a three-month-old baby lies near the edge of the sofa - what do you do? That's right, take it and take it to a safe place. And in general, try not to put the baby on the sofa. About the same way we react to the behavior of a 2-3 year old baby.

Of course, it is much more difficult to carry a two-year-old from the edge. But the essence remains the same. And gradually, as it grows, the little one learns to perceive these boundaries.

If the baby grabs something forbidden and dangerous, we select it. It climbs onto something too high or fragile - we remove it. He behaves inappropriately - we take him to another place.

Ideally, distract the little one with something more interesting. This is the best thing you can do. Does not work? At least just be sorry. Yes, the one-year-old will yell, kick and express his protest in every possible way. But you still calmly and lovingly take him from a dangerous place...

What is important to pay attention to?

• There should be as few restrictions as possible! Try to remove everything forbidden and dangerous where the baby cannot reach.
• When the baby approaches the forbidden, you can gently say “no need to take it” or something like that. Shake your head. But gently, without threat or aggression.
• Did the kid climb on the forbidden closet anyway? Feel free to take it out of there. And help him experience the full range of emotions. Help with your sympathy, love and patience.
• Gradually, the child will get used to them. Especially if he is already two years old. Gradually, a connection will form in the baby’s head: if you climb in, they will still be filmed. So there is no point in going there. But this connection will not have an admixture of fear!
• However, from time to time, children again "check the boundaries." And your task is to respond to this calmly and lovingly again.
• If the child still broke something, soiled it, broke it ... It's not his fault. You didn't follow this. This is your responsibility, not his. Therefore, do not scold the child, but yourself.
• And if no one was hurt, don't scold yourself. And just wipe the puddle, wash the closet or collect the pieces from the floor. Small annoyances are not worth worrying about.

How older child, the more likely he is to respond to your verbal warning. And at the age of 3, many children are ready to obey their parents. No shouting or threats! But... Not always. And this also needs to be understood. When a baby at 3-4 years old really wants something, he will ignore your requests. And again, your task is not to scold or demand obedience.

How to communicate with a 3-4 year old baby if he does not want to go home, wash his hands or take off his boots at home -. Here we can try to reach an agreement. But at 2 years old it still doesn't make sense.

Therefore, if our youngest son starts pouring water from the bath onto the floor, I just pull him out of the bath. Throwing food out of a plate? I take a plate. Throwing sand at kids in the playground? I take it out of the sandbox. All this can be done calmly, without threats. And the boundaries were respected, and my mother remained loving.

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The best parenting is a personal example of an adult. For a boy, ideally, he should be his father and his inner circle - grandfather, brother, teacher, coach ...

However, the reality is that the boy in preschool age, when the foundations of his gender-role behavior are laid, he is not surrounded by men at all. Women work almost everywhere in the field of education, the number of single-parent families has increased, and in complete families, the male father is often only formally present.

Some dads remove themselves from the process of raising a boy, considering it a woman's business, show lack of initiative, not knowing what to do with the baby. Others are infantile themselves, so they can do little to help in the development of masculine qualities. And it happens that dad would be happy to take up the upbringing of the boy, spend time with his son, teach him something, but workload does not allow, because you need to think about the future of the family.

However, mothers should not lose heart, even if the responsibility for raising their sons lies with them. You just need to properly organize the process of raising a boy from the very beginning, following the 8 “golden” rules:

1. Raising a boy: do not limit freedom!

In order for a mother to bring up masculine qualities in her son, it is sometimes necessary to raise him not in the way that is more convenient for her, easier and calmer. First of all, you need to make sure that the upbringing of the boy shapes his character. And for this, a mother very often has to reconsider her views on life, attitudes, fight her fears, “break” the stereotypes developed over the years.

What picture can be observed more and more often in modern families? In boys, accuracy, caution, diligence are cultivated. And then the mother reaps the fruits of her and her grandmother's "muslin upbringing": growing up, the son cannot fight back the offender, overcome difficulties, does not want to strive for something. And parents do not understand where this weakness of will came from in their child.

However, it is precisely these qualities that are invested in the boy from early childhood with the words “Don’t run - you will fall”, “Don’t climb, it’s dangerous there”, “Don’t do it - you will get hurt”, “Don’t touch, I myself” and other “don’t ...”. Will initiative and responsibility be formed with such an upbringing of a boy?

Of course, mother and grandmother can be partly understood, especially when the child is the only and long-awaited. They are afraid that something might happen to the baby. However, selfish considerations are hidden behind these fears. A flexible child is much more convenient, you don’t have to adapt to him. It is much easier to feed a two-year-old child herself than to watch him spread porridge on a plate. It's faster to dress a four-year-old by herself than to wait while he fiddles with buttons and laces. It’s calmer when the son walks beside him and holds his hand, rather than running around the playground, trying to get lost from sight. When we indulge our impulses, we do not think about the consequences.

Such upbringing of a boy distorts the very nature of men, responding to the mental and physical health of boys. They have fears, sometimes turning into somatic problems (stuttering, nervous tics, allergies, breathing problems, frequent illnesses), low self-esteem is formed, problems develop in communicating with other children. The opposite situation often arises: a boy can begin to “defend” himself from the pressure of parental care with aggressive behavior, thus expressing childish disobedience.

Of course, getting rid of habits is not easy, but you need to understand that a child without the help of parents will not become the way we would like. To do this, he needs the help of adults and certain conditions. Do not limit the freedom of movement of the baby on a walk, do not take away from small "dangers" (a conflict in the sandbox with a peer, climbing over a low fence, etc.), but help to overcome difficulties, cheer.

2. Raising a boy. The child should have a role model

Regardless of whether the boy is raised by a single mother or he grows up in a complete family, you need to try to make sure that the image of a man, and quite attractive for boyish perception, is present in the life of the family.

Until the baby has grown up, he is quite satisfied that his mother spends most of his time with him, but after 3 years, when the child is separated from the mother both physically and personally, the boy begins to show more and more interest in men: dad, uncle , grandfather. And by the age of 6, it becomes extremely necessary for him to spend time with adult men, imitating them and imitating their behavior. And here the mother should make sure that her son has someone to communicate with.

Joint leisure with his father helps the boy to decide in life, to understand who he is. After all, only through communication with the father and other men the child masters the norms of male behavior, forms his own opinion. And the sooner dad starts raising his son, the sooner he will form a male stereotype of behavior.

But what if dad is not around? In this case, the mother needs to find among relatives or friends a person who could at least from time to time appear in the boy's life. For example, you can take the baby to the grandfather for the weekend and leave them soldering, planing and crafting together. And when the baby grows up, you should find him a sports section or circle, the leader of which is a man who really loves his job.

In addition, the image of a real man for your boy can be found not only among real people. For this purpose, imaginary characters are quite suitable. It is enough to find a book character that the son would like to look up to, hang a photo of a brave grandfather on the wall, talk about their ancestors and their courageous deeds. In other words, it is necessary to create for the son a microclimate conducive to his male development.

3. You can only raise a real man in a stable atmosphere.

First of all, a boy (however, like a girl) needs love and harmony in the family. A father should not be afraid to show tenderness to his son. With such things, he will not spoil the child, but will form his basic trust in the world and confidence in his loved ones. To love means to be indifferent to the problems and feelings of a child, to see a personality in him. A boy brought up sensitively and consistently grows up open, calm, self-confident, capable of sympathy, the manifestation of emotions.

4. Teach your boy to express his feelings freely.

It is important that the family does not have a ban on the expression of feelings. Crying is a natural manifestation of stress. So do not follow the stereotypes and scold the boy for tears. It’s just worth treating them as a signal that the child is ill, and not suppressing his emotions, but teaching him to express them, if possible, in a different way.

5. Admit your mistakes openly

How to raise a real man? Of course, by personal example, to show that you should always be responsible for your words. Moms and dads should be critical of themselves. If necessary, admit they were wrong and ask for forgiveness from their son, by doing this they will only strengthen their authority, showing justice.

6. Build empathy in your child

Cultivate moral qualities in the boy. Being still a preschooler, he can understand and do a lot, starting with helping his mother around the house and ending with respect for the elderly in transport. Such behavior should be "served" as the norm. To clean up the dishes, make the bed, give way to the grandmother on the bus - this is normal for the future man.

7. Raising a boy, encourage independence in him.

Great attention in the development of the boy should be given to his independence. Let him sometimes feel his significance and freedom. In the future, this will help him to become happy and successful, to maximize his potential. Boys tend to strive for self-assertion and leadership. This is very important for their further development. Therefore, it is necessary to encourage the son's desire to make his own choice, to think independently, to remind him that he is responsible for his actions.

8. Take your child to sports sections

Children need physical activity for full physical development. While the child is small, you need to walk with him more, let him run, jump, fall, climb, explore the world under the strict guidance of his parents. Later, time should be set aside in the son’s weekly schedule for the sports section, where he could improve his physical abilities and feel strong, dexterous, self-confident.

We agree in advance

Moms should take note of one "secret" in the contact between dad and child. Fathers are often afraid to stay with the baby for a long time because they feel insecure. Therefore, make dad's leisure time with the child as specific as possible.

For example, say, “Tomorrow I will be away on business for a couple of hours. Let's figure out what you could do with the baby. Or: “On Saturday, you will finally be able to build the hut that our boy has long dreamed of.” So you give the man a chance to mentally prepare for communication with the little one.

P.S. When communicating with a child, moms and dads should not be afraid to be funny, awkward or unsuccessful. Children, as you know, forgive their parents everything except falsehood and indifference.

star parents

Dmitry Dyuzhev and Vanya (5 years old)

“The best method of raising a boy is love, I squeeze my son endlessly and kiss! My wife and I are cultivating self-sufficiency in Van, we want him not only to be calm and self-confident, but also to love people himself. And of course, don't overdo it. Let him spoil the carpets, if necessary, let him crawl into the ink, let the sand try - there is no need to ban it.

Alisa Grebenshchikova and Alyosha (5 years old)

“Alyosha grows up in a large family, where everyone has their own role. He sees how women behave, what they do. Our grandmother is responsible for comfort. With grandfathers he has manly games. We somehow went to the store with my son, and I suggested that he choose any toy. Alyosha opted for a chainsaw. He was 4 years old. “I will cut wood,” said the son. The fact is that he saw how grandfather does this in the country, who also removes the leaves and cleans the snow. Alyosha understands that all this is part of men's duties.

How to raise a boy- a question that occupies the minds of most mothers, regardless of the era, because any of them wants to grow the support of the family and raise a real man. Unfortunately, boys don't grow up to be men with a capital "M" on their own. Today, psychologists cannot come to a consensus on who from the adult environment is more important in raising a son. However, if you analyze family life many cells of society, we can conclude that the greatest influence from the moment of birth to preschool period the boys are directly affected by their mothers. Since for the first time the years of a boy's life, when the character of the baby is laid, and the basic social skills are formed, it is the mother who spends a significant part of the time with the baby. It is the woman who, in practice, demonstrates to her son how to treat the weak half of humanity.

How to raise a boy without a father

Contrary to popular belief, a boy raised by women will not necessarily grow up to be a slob and a slob. The statement that a boy brought up without a father will grow up as a defective man is fundamentally wrong and, rather, affects single mothers as a self-fulfilling prognosis. It is much worse when the upbringing of kids takes place in a family where the father is an alcoholic, where constant quarrels and misunderstandings reign, where the father raises his hand against the mother, etc. Incomplete families First of all, these are those in which there is a lack of parental love and a lack of attention.

A family where a son is raised by one woman naturally has certain problems and difficulties, but still it is better than growing up children in state institutions.

How to raise a boy as a real man - advice from psychologists

First of all, even in the absence of a father, who is a model of male behavior in a boy's life, there must be such an example to follow. For this purpose, you can use an uncle, grandfather, coach, teacher, a brave cartoon character, etc. It is also recommended to give the baby to the so-called "male" sport. So than large quantity male persons will be invariably present in his life, the better.

How to raise a boy without a father? Moms need to keep an eye on own attitude to stronger sex. Men should not be insulted in the presence of babies; also, surrounded by men, the mother should not feel awkward or uncomfortable. After all, a child can feel it, as a result of which he will have mixed feelings caused by the inconsistency of the maternal attitude towards him and the surrounding men, the result of which will be misunderstanding and internal conflict.

How to raise a boy for a woman herself? When raising a baby without a father, it is not recommended to try to compensate for the lack of male attention, at the cost of excessive "lisping" or fulfilling any of his whims. The surest solution would be to teach the little son with early age to independence. If something didn’t work out for the boy the first time, then you don’t need to immediately run to help him, it’s better to invite him to try to repeat his own actions.

Also, mothers are encouraged to take a position more often. weak woman» when communicating with the baby. In other words, a woman in raising a son should not forget about her nature and be affectionate with him, caring and loving parent, and not a magician who can solve absolutely all boyish problems, depriving the baby of the opportunity to try to cope with difficulties himself. Also, such behavior will help develop in the son the ability to sympathize, pity and empathize, and teaches him to be a caring, helpful, strong man.

In addition, it is often necessary to praise the child and say phrases to him with the following content: “you are my protector”, “you will definitely succeed!” etc. Indeed, for a boy growing up without a father, such praise has a special meaning. By such behavior, women reinforce the significance of the boy in the eyes of his mother.

Thus, women who are interested in the question of how to raise a man out of a boy, on the one hand, need to be feminine and weak, but on the other, they need to be known as a confident and strong-willed person. Mothers raising sons without fathers should not try to combine the female and male roles in themselves, they just need to remain themselves. It is also not recommended to play the role of a victim of circumstances in front of your son.

The upbringing of a boy, a future real man, should not be taken as a duty or a life duty. As a result of the foregoing, a boy raised by women in order to become a real man has all the prerequisites.

How to raise a boy

An important thing in raising a male crumb is to give him trust and provide a certain amount of freedom. It is not recommended to forbid him to spend time with the children in the yard, to communicate with other boys. It is necessary to give the boy the opportunity to independently find solutions from situations of confrontation.

How to properly raise a boy? To do this, parents should make some efforts. One of the most common misconceptions among parents of both sexes can be identified, related to the difference in educational measures applied to sons and daughters. For some reason, some mothers and almost most dads think that with a boy you should not allow yourself "calf tenderness" and the so-called "lisping", believing that due to such behavior from a boy a real man won't grow. However, things are different in reality. Psychologists have cited evidence that among newborns of both sexes, boys are born weaker than girls, so they often need affection more than girls.

How to raise a 2 year old boy

The educational impact on the boys, in any case, is based on the age characteristics of the baby. Therefore, it is necessary to start a conversation about how to properly raise a 2-year-old boy with an understanding of what a two-year-old baby is.

Up to a year and a half, there is no difference in the upbringing of babies of different sexes. It is at the age of two that the baby begins to understand that boys are different from girls. At two years old, the boy is already beginning to realize that he belongs to the male sex and is designated himself accordingly.

Important in the educational impact on a two-year-old boy belongs to positive communication with him. You should not get angry or hit a baby at the age of two, otherwise the boys will believe that they are not loved, which can cause the first symptom of a basic distrust of the world to appear.

By the age of two, the boys not only improve their walking, but also develop the ability to run and jump, they learn to throw the ball, their sense of balance improves. Therefore, one should not forbid the boy to develop physically. It's not scary if, in trying to run and jump, he fills himself with a few bumps and gets a couple of bruises.

At this stage, the boys develop an attitude towards domestic work - they have a desire to help their mother, a desire to sweep or vacuum, etc. Such aspirations of kids should be encouraged, otherwise you can discourage hunting and in the future the child will simply “get out on his head”.

In the biennial age period for the first time there is a need to develop separate prohibitions and certain norms of behavior. Contrary to the popular belief of most psychologists, the baby begins to understand the word "no" approximately in three years old, therefore, certain restrictions and a system of punishments for non-physical impact must be introduced already at the age of two.

How to raise a 2 year old boy? It is not recommended to envelop the boy with excessive guardianship and you should not put pressure on him with your own beyond expectations. For example, if a two-year-old boy does not talk, this is not a reason not to sleep at night. Keep in mind that boys start talking later than girls. The main thing at this stage is the formation of motor activity and cognitive interests. And even if the baby does not draw as well as the neighbor's child, then you should not be upset. After all, every baby develops individually. And with their own expectations and the discontent or frustration that follows them, parents demonstrate their dislike to the baby.

The main activity of two-year-old boys is the game, which is actions with objects of a manipulative nature. It is through such a game that the baby learns the environment, objects in it and people. Directly in gaming activity it is easier to teach boys discipline, routine, order, certain rules, hygiene skills and elementary labor skills, how to handle objects, compare them.

It is important for parents to learn that boys should not be punished with cruelty or indifference. By this, parents only demonstrate their weakness to the crumbs, which can later turn into a weakness in the boy’s character. The strength of the spirit in the boys must be brought up with the help of other methods.

Also, children should be brought up in accordance with their gender. In other words, it is not recommended to use words such as “bunny” or “honey” with respect to male crumbs. It is better to address the son as follows: "son" or "my favorite protector."

How to raise a 3 year old boy

In early childhood, the most important thing for kids of the stronger sex is being in the zone of parental attention and care, first of all, of the mother. At the same time, dad should not shy away from raising a 3-year-old boy, citing the fact that his son is still small. In the three-year age period, boys develop a sense of security and a sense of openness to the environment. Therefore, the care of both parents is quite important for them.

How to raise a 3 year old boy? What principles should be based on the upbringing of a three-year-old boy? What measures of educational influence are acceptable, and which ones should be avoided? These questions become acute for adults when their male child reaches the age of three.

So, how to raise a man from a boy? To answer this question, you need to understand that at the stage of three years of age there is already a clear differentiation by sex in comparison with the two-year period. And therefore, at this age, it is very important to try not to miss the formation of self-love in boys as a representative of the strong half of humanity. The son should think that he is a boy, and it is good to be a boy. This statement must be constantly reinforced and emphasized in praise. For example: "You are brave." And phrases like “wimp” need to be excluded from your own vocabulary in relation to your son.

How to raise a boy for dad? Due to the fact that a baby at the age of three feels even more strongly his own belonging to the strong half of humanity. That is why the father for him becomes an object of admiration and increased interest. The boy strives to be like the head of the family in absolutely everything, often trying on some of his things. In cases where the father is characterized by impatience and excessive irritability in relation to the baby, the son will feel awkward in his company and among other males. As a result, he will begin to equal his mother and reach out to her. Therefore, for fathers, the age of three is considered the optimal time to start the educational process in relation to boys. You should not wait until the kids get older, and, therefore, wiser, as you can lose time. Therefore, mothers are advised to send their sons for a walk with their husbands, which will allow them to allocate free time for themselves, and fathers to get to know their own child better.

The next principle of educational influence, which answers the question of how to raise a boy as a real man, will be to provide space for a three-year-old son. Here, first of all, we are talking about physical space. Since the boys need free space for normal functioning and development. After all, they are constantly on the move. Bodily energy must certainly be dumped, this is facilitated by active games.

There are also hyperactive kids who require a slightly different approach. In order to understand how to raise a hyperactive boy, one should turn to the concept of hyperactivity. The syndrome of hyperactivity consists in a pronounced excessive mobility of babies and impulsivity. Such children are characterized by restlessness, they are constantly spinning, inconsistent in their hobbies (now they can do one thing, and literally in a minute - already another), as a result of which many things are not brought to completion.

A three-year-old boy requires special treatment. Since one of the developmental crises occurs at the age of three, at this stage the baby begins to clearly differentiate its gender, and all this is complicated by hyperactivity. Therefore, if in front of the parents the subject special attention the question arose of how to educate a hyperactive boy, then there is no need to deal with the innate properties of the baby, it is necessary to correct only the manifestations of hyperactivity. There is no need to punish the boy for such manifestations, because it is not his fault that he still lacks self-regulation skills. It is only necessary to help him learn to control his own behavior and protect him from overwork. If active games are suitable for a non-hyperactive baby, then a hyperactive baby should be taught passive games, for example, you can draw with him.

In addition, regardless of whether the son is hyperactive or not, he needs to feel parental love. Therefore, parents should show their children their love from time to time.

The age of three can be considered a cult of independence. Very often from kids at this age you can hear the phrase: "I myself." If the actions that the boy is trying to perform cannot harm him, then he should be allowed to do them. For example, tie your own shoelaces.

Also, in the educational impact, it is required to take into account the fact that the boys, by nature, are researchers. It is at the age of three that their research nature begins to manifest itself in the form of disassembled cars. Therefore, they should not be scolded for broken toys. They must be given the opportunity to meet the research need while watching over the safety of the son.

How to raise a 4 year old boy

There are several simple principles aimed at solving the problem of how to raise a 4-year-old boy.

The first principle is that one should not be afraid to cripple the boy with caress and care. According to numerous studies, male children receive four times less praise and several times more punishment. Therefore, parents should not forget that a four-year-old boy is still a child, not a small adult. He may be afraid of something, for him a trip to a new place can be a life event. It is important to understand that adult living standards, the concepts of time and space are not suitable for a four-year-old baby.

In the age period, which falls on four years, the emotionality of the baby begins to form. And parents at this stage require restrained behavior from him or forbid him to show emotions with his careless phrases. This behavior is fundamentally wrong. A four-year-old boy is just a child, not an adult. Therefore, it is necessary to teach the boy to express his own emotions correctly.

It should also be borne in mind that boys at any age need more free space than the fair sex. Therefore, in order to balance the frantic hurricane of activity, it is recommended to purchase a sports corner for your son. Filial restlessness and noisyness must be treated with indulgence and patience. However, at the same time, one should not forget to focus the baby's attention on the fact that he, as a man, needs to be balanced.

It is for a four-year period that the completion of the formation of the boys' ideas about their own personalities as representatives of the male sex falls. Previously, the baby was guided by the external differences between the representatives of the strong half from the weak. At the age of four, the baby already clearly relates himself to the male sex and understands how to behave.

How to raise a 5 year old boy

At the age of five, the ability to identify one's own person with a certain gender is already fully formed. Therefore, babies begin to actively strive to communicate with the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity, but they are especially attracted to mothers. After all, for them, it is the mother who is the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful. Often at this age, boys want to marry their mothers. Starting from the five-year period, in the life of the crumbs there is a transition from childhood to school life. Therefore, at this stage, the upbringing of a 5-year-old boy should be aimed at developing the necessary life skills and optimizing performance. The upbringing of five-year-old children should lay the foundation and behavioral patterns.

How to raise a 5 year old boy? First of all, it is necessary to instill in him a joyful anticipation of school life, the boy should look forward to this moment. Thanks to this, parents will be able to correctly and painlessly adjust the daily routine of his day.

We should also not forget that the future support of the family is brought up. Therefore, it is necessary to continue the education of masculine qualities, but at the same time, not forgetting to surround the son with care and love. Fathers need to exert more influence, otherwise the boy will grow up as an insecure individual, withdrawn and uncommunicative. It is also the duty of the Pope to physical development son.

Until the age of five, a boy can buy toys that embody male professions (for example, plastic tools, various construction machines, designers), and after overcoming the five-year milestone, you need to start introducing him to an elementary tool (for example, a screwdriver or a light hammer). Let the boy learn to help his dad around the house.

It is also necessary to explain to the sons that they are stronger than the fair sex, that they should protect the girls and behave like knights with them. At the same time, dad should be a model of such behavior. He should help the woman in everything and take care of her (for example, carry heavy bags or give way to transport).

How to raise a teenager boy

For parents adolescence is perhaps the most serious stage in the education of real men. This stage is especially difficult for mothers. It is hard for them to realize that until recently their little boy was an affectionate baby who constantly hugged them, and today he avoids motherly caresses. Suddenly, unexpectedly, the cute boy turned into a grouchy teenager who treats his parents as an obstacle to his happiness. The worst behavior in this case will be attempts to put pressure on the child and endless readings of moralizing.

From about the age of eleven until the age of fourteen, something strange begins to happen to the boys. Previously cheerful and obedient, they become rebels. The characteristic teenage behavior of boys is unreasonable mood swings, disobedience.

Often, the first reaction of parents to such behavior is punishment and lectures, which are not only completely useless, but also deepen the gap that is growing in the parent-child relationship. Punishment only exacerbates the misunderstanding between teenagers and their parents.

Often, due to their busyness, fathers neglect the upbringing of a teenager, forgetting that their role in it is quite large. Children have to form their own system of moral guidelines, based on the films or TV shows they watch, computer games, or on the example of the behavior of their peers. But life guidelines and moral values ​​should be passed on to boys from their parents.

How to properly raise a teenager boy? The main task of adults responsible for the upbringing of adolescents is to communicate with him as often as possible. However, the concepts should not be replaced when parents read notations - this is not considered communication, communicative interaction between adolescents and their parents should take place on the basis of equality.